“The darkling plain is here. This is the waste land: England, America, Russia, China, Israel, France....

And we are here as victims, or as spectators, or as perpetrators of tortures, massacres, poisonings, manipulations, despoliation.”

― Fredy Perlman, Against His-Story, Against Leviathan! 

Produced, mixed, and mastered by Apogee

DARKNESS WAS UPON THE FACE OF THE DEEP

FEEDBACK LOOP

RARE ELEMENT

I WILL FIGHT

DISCOUNT FUTURES

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

APOCALYPTIC DREAMS

DIE YOUNG

THE HEAT

ADVENT OF EMPIRE

I spent the last five years in a musical limbo, unable to make the music I so desperately wanted to make. In 2019, my laptop broke and in an awful coincidence, I at the same time lost my backup hard drive which had all the music I'd ever made, all the poetry I'd ever written, all my prose, my short stories, everything creative I'd ever made was gone forever. On top of all the creative things, I lost access to my old diaries and all the photos I'd taken as well. 

Because of other nightmarish and traumatic circumstances aside from just the laptop and hard drive, I've spent the last five years re-inventing myself from practically nothing. For years I did nothing creative at all and spent my time in a depressive-dissociative rut of biblical proportions. Even if I wouldn't have had my laptop break and my hard drive disappear into the ether, I'd have had no drive to create anything regardless. The lack of access to tools to make my art exacerbated my depression, but it was not the cause.

Now that I'm doing better and have access to all the tools I need again, I can start over. It's been indescribably difficult to motivate myself to re-learn music composition and production from nothing, but I've done it. I can get back to work.

Everything I used to be is gone, and so is my drive to make the kind of music I made before. I want what I make in the future to be something more kind and nurturing, rather than something angry and painful. In this tune, and inspired by my one and only muse and partner Niamh, I composed this piece.

In this, I'm trying to express something about the past few years and how I've managed to rebuild myself from nothing. One thing is for sure, and that is that I never would've been able to dig myself out of my personal hell had I never met Niamh. So this song, and the album I'm planning to create, are both dedicated to them.

To cap it all off, this would not have been made without the bottomless generosity of my best friend, Zoe. Without them I wouldn't have the tools I have to make this music.

Memories Of Broken Glass

we have nothing to lose but our chains, and a world to gain.

Apogee

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