Welcome to the sixteenth installment of “Quick Diss”! We got two… again with the alcoholics I swear to fucking god…it's the character I officially use too much, Eric Duckman! Getting on the case of Mike Tyson's favorite animal, Pigeon! (Or more specifically, Richard!)

Lyrics:
Duckman:
What the hell you starin' at?! With 340 degrees of lookie
A spoof of Scooby with all the Dooby
Tryna get yourself baked! Literally and not
All those attempted suicides, still can't get off the pot! (Hah!)
Like damn, rather lock up this bastard later
Why fight a PRIVATE Dick when you're a public masturbator?
God turned ya to a pigeon for bein' a massive failure
Lying about your riches to get with Sandra's paper!

Pigeon:
Eh, I get it, like sand paper; you fuckin' nerd.
Hey, is it all that racist to flip YOU the bird?
Stupid jerk (heh.) I'm really good at this
Why are your eyes detachable?! That's the stupidest
Like who is this? Who watches fucking Duckman?
Who gets home from work and says "hey let's watch Duckman"
Nobody, that's who, wait, what am I doing? Right, riiight
Uhh, I think your fuckin' wife died.

Duckman:
No shit Sherlock! And I get I'm the detective
Yet a birdwatch can't help me find your erection
Whether it's your junk, or all the crimes that you penance
Couldn't stand up to your wife or the Yung one's you abandoned!
So screw you, like that one hooker did
Oh boo-hoo, you were just a crooked kid!
Who'll give a look or shit, just let it consume you
All pissed off 'cause dad let a cougar abuse you
Twit got ate quick, a deer in the headlights.
He can't evade it, especially if it's his sex drive!
A spineless, gutless, bodiless pest swine!
Guess it makes sense you got it on with a fleshlight!

Pigeon:
Ay, what the fuck? How did you know all that personal trauma?
I thought what you caught on with Sandra;
Was awfully odd but, do I get off on you attacking me?
Know I'm a pigeon but you're a rat with wings!

Duckman:
I'm not sure how I'm lectured on your dummy violence…
All that pressure really does make Lucky Diamonds!
Or cans at least, all your fans have ceased like it
How's a show canned at 4 seasons with TYSON?
Musta went through the ringer! Like "voice actors" should
You still stomped on his legacy. THAT'S athlete's foot!
Rich was fat at first impressions; as fat as your depression!
His past has come to wreck him, how balloon-men get pricked!

Pigeon:
Ya see, I was gonna beat off while you were T-ing off.
Buut, I found your Wikipedia…
Seems that uhh, you killed your own dad?
Damn, that sucks man….Duckman.
Heh, shoulda used those head-shots on your wife bro
She was forced to give life to kids like those?
Two heads and a tubby dummy light post 
Ehh, if only he was as bright! No…
That's terrible, like you are at your fuckin' gig
How are you worse at being a pig…than a pig.
I sort've get it… he was aware your gal was livin'
Corny ending, all of your fans musta been livid!
That's funny, too bad your show wasn't
On your cringe high horse, then you battled it or somethin'
Your fam is saddened and caused thy to plummet!
Eh…Still not as tragic as Light as Duckman!

-CAST-
Eric Duckman: RaccoonBroVA
Pigeon: CP

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: JaCoN
Written by: JaCoN
Beat: https://cdn.airbit.com/tagged/1585240014-73113-roots-by-insanebeatz-beat.mp3
Beat Produced by: InsaneBeatz
Mixed by: jort

Eric Duckman vs Pigeon - (Quick Diss) #16

2 of the world's most angriest creatures duke it out in a rap battle.

Vincent Otake as Squidward Tentacles & Announcer
MetalFire as Benson

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY (PARODY)
SQUIDWARD TENTACLES!
VS!
BENSON!
BEGIN!

Benson:
Alright Squidward, get ready to be fired out of the sea,
You're just a stupid mental retard, anyone can see
You’re a dumb squid, who sticks his tentacles on shit
YOUR MUSIC MAKES MY EARS BLEED! YOU SHOULD JUST QUIT!
I may be a living gumball machine, but I get money for my job!
So just make like Mr. Puff, roasted and raw
Shove that clarinet up your ass! Your house is weird
I don’t even understand how you have a music career!

Squidward Tentacles:
Can you just stop yelling so I can play my clarinet?,
You're just a gumball machine so I’ve already won, give it a rest
Your employees are way more annoying than my neighbors,
I’ll kick you in your gumballs ‘cause you're begging for more
You're not very Regular, your shit is just weird
You can’t get a break from Mordecai and Rigby, those 2 are queers
I won’t need to punch you up, ‘cause you already look mauled
And you may think you’re hot, but you don’t have any gumballs!

Benson:
Well punk, at least I have a job that’s not making Krabby Patties!
It’s sad, your neighbors are a dumbass and a pink fatty!
Whenever you sing, you just sound freaking tired
SO GUESS WHAT YOU BLUE BASTARD, YOU’RE FIRED!

Squidward:
Benson, your raps are old, just like you
Your show should’ve died with the rest of your bastard crew
You’ve got slackers, a lollipop guy who’s high and a fatty who say’s he’s buff,
But you’re a whiny, short tempered thing, and you’re not so tough.

WHO WON?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY (PARODY)


Benson vs Squidward. Epic Rap Battles of History (Parody) 3

Spongebob:
Stepping on the beat! About to beat a blue rat!
It’s sad! That you’re back! You belong in the trash!
Talk about Bold and Brash, but it won’t be hard to see.
Jeez, Sonic had a rough transition to 3D!
And I’m grilling you, just like a Krabby Patty!
Unlike your games that end unfinished and flabby!
But I will spit a diss, though I hate to gloat butt.
This diss will go straight through your head! And then you’ll blow up!

Sonic: 
Let’s spit a quick diss, on this zombie of a show!
Been rotting for many decades with each episode.
Call that a Cosmic Shake, I’m leaving you in Fron-Tears!
Using you to clean my toilet after I’m done here.
Became a cash cow for Nick, then problems arrived.
You made 2 spin offs after Hillenberg died.
While I’m still hitting hits, it’s not hard to see.
After Heropants, you left the gaming industry!
Copied Smash bros? Wack bro! Originality is what you’re striving for!
This battle is a loss cause, like your show pass Season 4.
You’re way past your prime, smelling like an outhouse.
Spent 20 years from the ground up to get overshadowed by The Loud House.

Spongebob:
That verse was like the chum bucket, nobody’s buying it.
Sure I’ve had ups and downs, still better than Sonic 06.
This hedgehog is a hazbin, and that’s a true bummer.
Don’t forget, you’re always second place, behind that plumber.
You’re known for making fakes, your fandom just goes like Boom.
I’m doing more damage than what Sonic Forces could do to you.
This battle is one-sided so Sonic, why even bother?
Considering I live in your greatest fear. Water.

Sonic:
Even Amy couldn’t compare, to that monstrosity of a verse.
After seeing you rap, I feel bad for Squidward.
You’ve lost your identity, all the years under the sun.
Just a pale imitation, since Sponge on the Run.

Next Battle Hint: Memable Mario Games

Sonic the Hedgehog vs. Spongebob Squarepants. Crap Battle!

I'm not the owner of this one But I edtied the footage for it. The original owner hates his first Rap battle btw.

if you wanna see it : 
https://youtu.be/vYUb4wAtlR0?si=l-zTzMxKbhHe_V1S

Sandy Cheeks Vs Woody - Rap Battle

🎤 [Intro – Announcer (distorted voice)]
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES... OF THE INTERNET!!!
MLG!!!
vs
YOUTUBE POOOOOOP!!!
BEGIN!!!

🎮 [MLG]
Yo it's MLG, scope in, no miss,
Quickscope your vids into a black hole abyss.
Dew in my hand, Doritos on the side,
My montage so dank, make your source code cry.
360 no-scope, I'm elite with the memes,
While you’re stuck glitching in low-quality dreams.
MLG horn blast when I drop this beat,
While your poops get flushed, obsolete and weak!


📼 [YouTube Poop]
SPAAAGHETTI!
I remix kings and I glitch your game,
Your clips are stale like a TF2 name.
Pingas! I warp time, space, and lore,
Your montage got sniped by my CD-i store.
Mama Luigi said it best, you’re a joke,
I fried your montage with a King Harkinian poke.
Sentence mixing so bad it’s divine,
Even Dr. Rabbit says, “This rap ain’t fine!”


🎮 [MLG]
I’m sponsored by memes you can’t understand,
While you're remixing toilets with a stolen hand.
Sniper elite, I don't play with trash,
You're editing Shrek? I'm making cash.
Optic vision, headshot precision,
Your poop is a crime, like television.

📼 [YouTube Poop]
I make masterpieces with a Windows Movie glitch,
Your edits are basic, mine scratch the itch.
I’m the OG meme chef, poop soup to serve,
Your MLG clan? Straight off the curve.
SNOOP DOGG DANCING ON A LASER SHARK!
My poop’s a Picasso, your scope’s in the dark.

🎤 [Announcer]
WHO WON?!
WHO’S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!!
TERRIBLE RAP BATTLES… OF THE INTERNET!!!

MLG vs Youtube Poop - Terrible Rap Battles

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/BWw-Pr7JBPM?si=PQ40LkhZFFTQzGj9

DumbShlop as Tobias
Eddiefrb as Berdly

Berdly:
With us two grouped together, I may not get an A
I will not associate with a jock who’s a snake
He’s got wealth but not of knowledge; he’s rich with green and envy  
His parents may be affluent but he can’t pick up Penny

Your concept of camaraderie is contact with my buttcheek
You look like a neanderthal, bro, why you acting Sussie?
Rainbow-coloured hussy, frankly, you disgust me and the ladies too
You won’t be my partner and certainly not my player 2

Berdly, Berdly, baby, the c-c-c-crowd pleaser
Masami blew you off ‘cuz you’re a m-m-mouth breather
How’s your sister, Wilson? At ease, I shan’t be courting her
That girl is so boring, even the Void is devoid of her

Tobias:
I’m part of a class you would not be instructing
Ain’t the teacher’s pet usually, like, a hamster or something?
Seems I’ve been challenged to a duel, but we’re skipping the joust
‘Cuz if I beat you bumping my track, you might dip and crash out

Bro, with your brown-nosing principles, I see why you’re ignored
You started simping for your Queen and now you’re stuck on this cord
You built a statue of yourself and it’s disgusting to view
You must be wearing a diaper because you’re chunkin’ the deuce, man

You’re lame, Noelle has made it clear
Susie’s got her by the reigns, like hell she'll be your dear
Listen here, don’t you talk about my sister, she’s in college and she’s fine
And I doubt that she’ll see Dess, but I told her to said hi

Berdly:
Your faux excuses, try ‘em, we know this dude is lying
The scope you’re viewing life in is cope, it’s too biased
Only time you make Good Points is when helping with chores
There’s no room left in Kris’ party, but there’s plenty in yours

How can you be a ladies' man when there’s no chick to your name
You’re like a peacock, gallivanting and then quick to refrain
You’re not a leader, you’re a Loser, there’s no switching your place
The only one who gives an F is Simian with your grades

Tobias:
Well, getting the cold shoulder is better than cold turkey
I’m not taking dating advice from iceburghley
You play games, I make gains, you button press, I bench press
You would pass out way before passing a single of my strength tests

Noelle turned you into proceeds for a bank in the snow
You beat her in the spelling bee so she cast one she didn’t know
Now, go on, get your beauty sleep, chill at 32 degrees
Nice try, dude, but you’ll still never be as cool as me

Directed by Eddiefrb
Written by Eddiefrb, DumbShlop, iGreenOwl & MegaPMB
Beat prod. by waera
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover Art by MegaPMB
Cover Design by MegaPMB & Eddiefrb

Tobias vs Berdly - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING)

CAST: 
Titanium1208 as Grunkle Stan 
Surreal_Cheese as Sibuxiang 

CREW: 
Written by DJBalloonz, WeThink, Surreal_Cheese, and Toastieisirish
Beat By Surreal_Cheese 
Mixing by Fightmarker 
Character art by DJBalloonz
Cover Art by WeThink 
Special thanks to iGreenOwl 

Lyrics : 

GRUNKLE STAN : 
Hey there, welcome to the Mystery Shack!
A stitched together freak like you would fit perfectly with the creatures I have!
But the only money that you have's from hell? Get lost, you prick!
You'll bomb on this track, so  leave, like with Metropolis!

Taking the piss out of beasts, is that what your nature calls?
Want a place to escape gods? Come here to Gravity Falls!
I don’t buy your might, but I’ll see what you have in store 
Go put up your hands! I’ve dealt with god-like beings before

SIBUXIANG:
Pipi, we have another nuisance at our front door again
Sorry, but we don’t allow people with god complexes in 
Especially those who scream at their employees for favors
I mean, at least I don’t have young kids to do all of my labor

You and your bro were salt and pepper, til you got salty 
Like the waters, the Stan-o War, never sailed at sea 
Call this your ex wife with the way you are taking the shots
And even I can’t turn a Blind eye to that “memory loss"

GRUNKLE STAN :
Wanna talk pasts when you're masking the truth 
I mean, I’d wear it  too if I were fugly like you 
You know, I had no name for years, but as a grifter at large 
should've taken notes from you, no one knows who you are 
I know keeping secrets can become a bad habit 
But stop burrowing your feelings for that mad rabbit 
For Deerman in the headlights here, I'll call the shots
Whether it’s people or with heaven, you sure have experience falling off

SIBUXIANG :
Somehow fumbled worse than the election campaign
New meaning to major pain, all brawn and no brain 
I don’t take off my mask cuz I don’t want to see your ugly face
You’re nothing but a grifting, lying, self-absorbed, cheapskate

Thought you did no wrong, while severing a family bond
Presenting yourself as strong, having the ultimate dad-bod
You sad con-artist trying to flee the crimes you got
But like this battle, you're brother's friendship and your life, you lost

Grunkle Stan vs Sibuxiang - Rap Battle! Ft. Titanium 1208 & Surreal Cheese

TheMonarchy as Sherlock Holmes 
Zxy as Watson 
MetaStarVA as Albert Einstein 
Written by WeThink 
Mixed by Box
Beat prod by Jafo Styles
Character art by WeThink 
CoverArt by Toastie 
Special thanks to Corncob, Chaotic Rap Battles , Toastie & WiseOwl24 

Lyrics : 
Einstein: 
Let’s start with something simple, like avoiding this matchup 
We can replace it with a class on Astronomy or basic social interaction 
I could make you my pupil (hmm) or I can make you cry (huh) 
Resisting the math is futile when beating you is as easy as pi 

Beat you in jeopardy, Chess and Tic Tac Toe 
Even Oppenheimer is less of a misanthrope 
A mind so bright trapped on his brother’s shadow 
If Bending ears’s an art, then you sir, are Van Gogh 

High on your own fumes, this druggie shoots up 
Stay in that office shielded & cooped up (hmm 
I find repugnant all the tramps you employ 
It’s bad when even the doctor’s sick of your ploys 

Sherlock Holmes: 
Unfortunately Mr Einstein, I do have to ask a lot (like) 
How did someone who traveled lots never took a trip to the barbershop 
Now you shall be gobsmacked by my British charm & whitt 
But first we shall celebrate the USA allowed you spar & spit 

And I must say they life you chose is something I do not respect 
Defend the freedom of people who’d take away yours for being well read 
Your love life is a tragedy, so I’ll asume you were desperate 
Even disregarding the theories Einstein, she is still your relative 

Einstein: 
Dont act like you get The Woman, Irene would rather end it all 
That spend another minute having to deal with this animal 
Your mind spirals, while mine’s renowned around the globe 
You’re simply a Fibonacci sequence to my Da Vinci Code 

Personally I’m done with the stories of Jerk & Jill 
If I wanted some who’s all bark , Id visit Baskerville 
You’re Victorian I’m victorious, putting yourself in constant peril 
Proof your intelligence doesn’t register on an emotional level 

Holmes & Watson:
Holmes I thought you were joking facing a literal troll face 
More so Watson , I’m just trying to crack this basket case 
But for sure ain’t detective work hes just egotistical 
From doc to doc your oath to peace seems kinda hypocritical 

Too true , he’s crooked too, screw you, rude boob 
I’ll take the piss of this pacifist ha! Like the US used to 
In millions of civilian deaths is what’s your legacy is passed on 
Beating an old coo was Elementary, my dear Watson

Sherlock Holmes vs Albert Einstein - Literary Rap Battles! Ft. TheMonarchy , Zxy & MetaStarVA

Terrible Rap Battles of History!!!
Baldi!
vs.
Caillou!
Begin!

Baldi:
I’m the math class menace, sharpened ruler in hand,
While you’re a bald-headed brat nobody can stand!
Education’s my game, discipline’s my tool,
You can’t even count to four, you whiny preschool fool!

I teach basics, equations, problem-solving’s my lane,
You just stomp and complain when you don’t get your way!
I’ve got notebooks, numbers, the whole school on lock,
You’ve got temper tantrums that make your mom yell, “Stop!”

Caillou:
I’m Caillou! I’m four! And I’ll stomp on your floor,
Your whole game looks like it came from ’94!
You chase kids with rulers—wow, that’s not cool,
Sounds like someone’s compensating for failing school!

I’m on PBS, teaching kids every day,
You’re a meme horror teacher that nobody plays.
You’re forgotten, outdated, your mechanics are lame,
All I do is cry and still got more fame!

Baldi:
Think you’re famous? More like infamous, kid,
The world cheered in joy when your show finally quit!
I’m the nightmare of halls, your worst math test dream,
I’ll smack your behind with a ruler’s loud SQUEEEM!

I’m strict, I’m slick, with my notebook grind,
While you whine about cookies for the hundredth time!
Class dismissed! Baldy beats bald and bratty,
Now go cry to your mommy, ‘cause daddy’s too chatty!

Caillou:
At least my theme song’s catchy, your audio’s a mess,
All those crunching footsteps got gamers stressed!
You’re stuck in one hallway, can’t even explore,
And still got beat by kids hiding behind doors!

So keep your math problems and your glitchy AI,
I’ll throw a tantrum so loud, it’ll make you cry.
You’re not scary, you’re boring, with your ruler that’s dumb,
I’m Caillou, I’m four, and this battle is done!

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!!!
Terrible Rap Battles… of History!!!

Baldi vs Caillou- Terrible Rap Battles

Stupid Rap Battles
Nick Wilde vs Swiper the Fox
Begin

Swiper:
It’s me Swiper here to beat this criminal
Without Dora i’ll make this battle fixable

You have a bunny cop as a sidekick
There’s no you can beat me you prick

Guess what your too late your never Disney + now
With your sequel being shown I rather watch Inside Out

I’ll freeze you & Your Rabbit friend to death
If trying to mess with me you will be dead


Nick Wilde:

I’ll freeze you like a Pawpsicle if you think you can beat me
After this you will be stuck like that bull Benny

Always stealing stuff from dora and other people
My Movie is Awesome and it’s getting a sequel

You just ain’t in the map from the backpack bro
Nick Jr easily cancelled 2 of your shows

I spit faster then Flash You spit slower than the fiesta trio snail
Forget your show i rather watch Dragon Tales


Swiper:
You’re trying to make fun of my swiping you should watch what your saying
Bellwether or not Are you even that gay

Nick Wilde:

I’ll break your Lionheart and i guess i really wanna
At least i don’t need to hear raps from Isa the Iguana



Isa:
That’s right Nick Isa here with the Rhymes
I’m one of Dora friends here to end this fox’s prime

I’ll have you more sad then your childhood
But guess what i rap really good

I’m Dora pal & also her Best friend
What your Movie did was stole from Gary Goldman

This Battle is done i broke Lionheart
Now Just serve me Justice in a hussle sweetheart




Swiper The Fox vs Nick Wilde - Stupid Rap Battles

Eddiefrb as Harvey Beaks
Seth as Harvey Birdman

Harvey Birdman:
Rules were made to be broken, and the same goes for your face
The best marvy attorney against a Chowder disgrace? I’ll take the case!
Trying to be a Bad Seed, but you're just a little Steam-punk
You can't stand the burns from my rap when I'm powered by the sun!
I’m a superhero lawyer, saving the characters you love
You’re a child who can’t fight me when getting hurt’s what you’re afraid of
Debbie, cancel my appointment with BoJack; I’ve got a new foe to diss
‘Cause I’m cracking an even way bigger egghead than Beaks’ baby sis!

Harvey Beaks:
Alright, Phoenix Wrong! You’ll need your solar shield when I beat you
I’ll be launching you out of this battle, have you going “Pe-Choo!”
I may not like getting hurt, but it’s not like you could even hurt me
Scurry back to your coworkers like Captain Falcon and the Murray
Instead of dancing around your cases’ issues, why don't you actually solve them?
Turned into a parody of your own show, call it The Space Ghost Problem!
Stuck in a boring office job, while I'm still going on adventures
You’re just a Justice League reject who only hangs with one Avenger
 
Harvey Birdman:
This itty-bitty Bugaboo should go back to playing with his toy chicken
You’re voiced by a lion, but you roar more like a kitten!
A neurotic neat-freak that's way worse than Reducto, so back off!
There was less emotion in your raps than what you’d see from your grandpa
You favor the index finger, but I’ll give you the middle one
For wanting to be a Rebel, you try too hard to have civil fun
A real dodo bird; you can’t fly AND you’re afraid of heights!
I’m shooting energy beams from my fists. You can’t put up a fight
You’re dissing dishes so bad, a Recipe for Disaster
So emotionally fragile. Like your plate, I’ll leave you shattered
Beat you to a pulp, then be the attorney to represent ya
And in case you didn't, “Hey, did you get that diss I sent ya?”

Harvey Beaks:
What did you say about me?! Now you've unleashed my stern rage!
With flow like a mermaid, I’ll lock this third-rate in his birdcage!
I’m killin’ it with imps, spitting from the highest of trees
Even Technobear would be impressed by how I’m rocking this beat
This sleazebag will be splat real fast by this Greenblatt
Steal the crest of your rap like I was wearing a red ski mask
A bigger fail than Kratz, this is another case you’ve lost
You’re unloved by your wife and ignored by your boss
Fly back to Boo Boo, or I’ll leave you with boo boos, too
Wash out that potty mouth. Looks like your fans all flew the coop!
Calling me emotional? Hah! You’re one to talk, man!
You’re a flash in the pan, a sham, and a rip-off of Hawkman!
 
Harvey Birdman:
I’m a rip-off? Like when you ripped-off Batman as the Night Maid?
Such a shame. Your raps were even a disappointment to Dade
You can suck deez Peanuts and run back to Peabody, Sherman
Your Honor, you'll find that he's guilty. You’ve lost to BIIIIRDMAN!
 
Harvey Beaks:
Well, you can witness this quick diss I’m spitting at this pest
Had a volcano base, but your rhymes are lukewarm at best
I’d rid myself of my moisturizer and you still couldn’t scar me
Ending you like your superhero career, it’s the Death of Harvey

MLG vs Youtube Poop - Terrible Rap Battles

ari webb-bryant

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