I'm guessing there's no way anyone is gonna see this unless you were part of the 13 and a half minutes that anyone even pretended to half care about the diabolical mess that was Army Of Darkness, through an auction that got a sniff of national attention because of what an embarrassing failure it was.

In case you missed that crap, here it is in all its depressing glory: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=388652573

There's probably no point in explaining the origins of the title of this shambolic chaos; English Jon was drunk, walking home one night, passed out in a bus stop after buying a copy of the album. He woke up, he'd had his keys, shoes, wallet and loose change from his pocket stolen - but still had the record.  He left the country soon after and I never spoke to him again. My true homie Justin announced it was... TOO SHIT TO STEAL.

We recorded this 5 years ago, gave up on it, started again two years ago, with a brand new set that included the smash hits: 
- Holiday In A Suitcase
- I Hope The Devil's On TradeMe Tonight I'm Selling My Soul
- Codeine (vague Jolene cover)
- I Don't Know The Last Time That I Was Happy Sober
- Crying and Wanking


Anyway, the new album "Music To Stab Girls By" had appalling vocals so we never did anything with that either.

So here it is, half-finished, incomplete... perfect.

FUN FACT: Only Gypsy Devil Woman and Book Of The Dead were on the vinyl recording, but these sound pretty different; everyone but me and Oly quit the band between Dellamorte Dellamore and Too Shit To Steal

FUN FACT 2: We played our first ever show at the same show as the Mint Chicks' first ever show at a party in a living room in Kingsland (The Legendary 339 New North Rd)... They went on to international success; we didn't play any gigs bigger than that living room. Perhaps I should have learnt to backflip?

To Oly, Dan, Simon, Naughty, Joe, Myles, Mihka, Tom, Dave and Angus and anyone unfortunate to have had anything to do with these albums - I apologise unreservedly.

I THINK WE'VE JUMPED THE SHARK ALREADY.

This Is Just A Joke To Me Outro

Army_Of_Darkness

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