For those times you understand that you're on the wrong side. When that time does come, will you change? Will you do what's right? Or, will you do what's best?
...
Just don't make a choice you know you'll regret.

Had this lying around. Felt it was worth sharing. Please enjoy.

Lyrics:

Summer calls me and you’re throwing down your drink, you said...
Said "Enough of silly things and playing house with me"
Twisting through devils in the details of my filthy hands
You’ll start to see the deadly plans I buried in the sand

Some introductions only work if they do not progress,
All of my victims love my torture by the time it ends
Coffee taste like iron, what’s in your brew today? 
When I, Sift through colored pages, pigment always turns to grey 

-
Bombshells about my orbit,
Come on down, my dear departed
You thought, you could run, guess you don’t think much 
It’s sad that you ever tried giving a fuck, but

I can’t dissolve all the shit we built,
It’s in your court, you wanna throw that towel in
I get kicks outta sick decisions
It’s not a good game if it’s any bit different
-

“God damn it I’m so sick of your shit. No fucking wonder you’re drunk you fucking psycho. What the fuck is your problem? I’m gonna call a ride, Don’t you dare fucking touch me… Leave me alone.”

Every body has an element, you know this...
You should not try convincing birds they don’t belong in the sky
You might repair a broken portal from the depths of hell...
This could be the one and only cage you rattle.

My case is overblown, I’m trying not to startle you...
It’s not that candy cane you’re oh so fond of sucking on.
Tasting pavements are ya? It’s no surprise to me,
I hope you’re sick of all my ignorant catastrophes

-
Bombshells about my orbit,
Come on down, my dear departed
You thought,you-could-run, guess you don’t think much 
It’s sad that you ever tried giving a fuck

I can’t dissolve all the shit that we built,
It’s in your court, you wanna throw that towel in
I get kicks outta sick decisions
It’s not a good game if it’s any bit different!
-

Sand Master

***Produced by the one and only ASHWOOD. Absolute beast.***

Got a lot off my chest this time around. Feels good. Vocals for this were recorded on... an iPhone???!! One of my favorite vocal mixes of all time.
Been working with the brother ASH for a while now, but this track is cool for release. Hopefully ya get something out of hearing it. Cheers.
(Shoutouts to geometry art. Love that stuff.)

Lyrics:
Yeah,
Up in the attic, found your collection
Tokens of home, you say,
They're painted in shades of grey,
You're biting your lip, sort of afraid

In that time, we made it a pact,
We'd try to be better and learn from the past
So heavily scarred and battered to shit
You're still lookin out that window

But when do you act on your visions?
battered, and beaten but can't stop breathing
I heard what you felt when your tears hit the crest
Letting it out doesn't measure your weakness
...And slowly you build up a distance
I prayed that your hatred would manifest different
But suddenly everything's covered in poison

...

All of us watch and the best we can do is assume you're beyond what you taught, now you're gone
It's a mess that you build and expect that we love but we're done getting fucked yet again
So
You sob for a hand but you bite every time,
I hate that you take what you feel on your fam,
All of this shit was your fault to begin, but
You're killing yourself and you say we're blame
The pain in your life is a fuckin disrupton,
You sub for the trauma you fuckin escaped
Paid for the price with a loan in disfunction
Pick up the phone just to float on your lungs

Buried in responsibilities claimin you did it for them but you live for the credit, like
Fuck everybody who lives in your house,
And fuck every life that you keep in the drought.

Poverty stricken and bare in your wake,
We're bleeding and praying you take out your stake
To think that I waited for all of your killing to stop on the hope that you'd love me when you hit the brakes...

I don't see how I can bring you back.
I don't want to see you fall even deeper.

Hoarding

Instrumental: J Cole's False Prophets
Words:

I’m afflicted,
Double 0’40 in the morning as I’m writing this,
I’ve never felt this kind of haunted,
By everyone around me and the visions of the mornin,
Ignored the signs and every single verbal warning,
‘Bout the dangers of a life in orbit,
Protecting prophecies and praying others turn a profit,
All of the while, I’m the absentee of pers-nal projects
Common courtesies of self-care been lost since,
Am I happy with my choices, not really.

There’s too much on my mind.
About the life I want to chase and all the shells I’d have to break to make it.
Between the clarity of sorrow and a shackle’d morrow

My social circle’s a tribunal of saguaros,
It’s a blessing at times, but far too hard to follow,
With time, gets hard to swallow,
Issues I face are always borrowed,
On some ensemble,
And as I deal with this I ponder to myself-

What could I be if I was free?
Of every burden, anxiety, depression and obsession?
Of listening to my parents have these fuckin arguments?
They’re gettin up the ladder but they’re fighting like they split the market,
And since economy is tankin, I-gotta-live, wit it,
Been a point of madness since I hanged wit other children,
Holed-up so quickly in my bed, pretend like I ain’t hear it,
Took 20 years for me to learn they wasn’t really perfect,
How ‘bout this stupid fuckin penchant,
My loyalty and tensions ‘bout supporting who-you-came up wit,
Well me not havin much it’s just my family and Joseph,
And even when the shit gets toxic, I don’t leave I got no options,
Cursing COVID for the times that I could almost stop it, huh
Soon as I’m meeting other vagrants on the strip and up in college,
We’re sent to rot away in private cells we callin bedrooms,
Absorbed and crucified on mobile applications makin money on our ignance,
….
Fuck,
I got nothin good to say,
Every day i take my drugs and say im just Okay,
Look in the mirror see a soul who never won the day,
And all the positive is washed away in shades of grey,
With all the evil in the world and contemplations in a whirl,
My truest feelings are corrupted in the spin, in the corner would I curl,
It’s coming from the core, the chest I’ve locked away and covered deeply in a furl,
I’m tired of my life and of the fuckin world…

School shootings daily lately, my dad is sending articles about em bein govmint ploys,
And before he’s tellin stories how he wish he had a passive wife, just like a fuckin toy,
And this man is what I’ve got, it’s the dream of every boy to have a father full of competence and poise,
The shit he says about my wonderful mother who make him breakfast lunch and dinner,
Do his dishes do his taxes, do his laundry keep his mothafuckin car in order,
And tooken care of me cause he was hardly there to see me,
Cause let’s face it there’s bread to make and he was bakin,
I can’t be mad at never seeing him but fuck,
When he do this shit my stomach turns,
I wonder if this is just dementia,
Or if he’s always been a lemon,
and-I’m obsessed with fixing something broken
How the fuck is every relationship a salvage,
The wreckage all around me, I’m tip-toein around ensuring I don’t make a mess,
And release another trap that make me lose another friend,
Eventually I’ll be solo in the wake of my contention,
(Collapsed up on my knees) and begging god to hear my cryin,
The ramblings of a demon in a garden of his making,
He scoffs, and I’m all the way at square one, awakened,
With the truth that all along, survival’s just a sentence
And walking just because I was born, that’s just repentance,
The sadness I endure is but part, of the experience,
The bitter fruits of mankind have, soured millions,
I wonder who can till they soul soil, and reveal it,
A seed of love and joy that not been tainted, by the masses,
What does it take to court the wisdom of the ancients?

Memo968

About the one that got away, you know. (Also, instrumental by me.)
Not perfect but I felt like this should be out there for a variety of reasons. Hope you enjoy.

Words:
Girl you know I’m goin crazy here,
I never really had it if it wasn’t wit ya,
New Years Eve and I got a little sauced up
Fucked things up, years go by, and I’m still alone

Been your best self, bookin hotels in Oslo,
They really need you there, kinda hate to see you go, but,
I know you’re lookin for more, 
Chasin a dream, you got a kinda radiant I’d never seen before

Centerfolds got nothin on a flame so gold
Set the bar so far, something I’m beholdin,
Ruined the rest, put yourself on a pedastal
I’m gettin older and I wish could do it beside you

Drink too much when I’m thinking bout feelin your touch,
I never had it, you was sayin enough is enough
Called my bluffs cause you knew a little too much, ahh
Wish I didn’t fold, makin a fool of your trust

Lips like silk, body of a divine goddess
Girl you teased me on that counter with your perfect lotus
You taught me all the ways sneak hoes try counterfeitin’
I’m inspired that you showed me something genuine

90% of time, saw that ponytail behind ya,
Always had the view with different perspective in mind,
Way I fantasize, I saw you like a picasso
All of you colors soaring above, love in the cold

Can’t forget that scene of you lying top of my bed,
Truly an image of heaven, I pray for the rest
A Half smile and a bite of your lip, I’m gone
Knowing I would take it to the bank that night, for long 

Maybe you were just teasing me for the hell of it
But girl you’re too efficient and effective, I fell for it
I’ll work on myself, try to get paid
So the next time you see me imma be down on one knee wit a ring...

yeah.

Yeah well,
I fucked up I’ll admit it,
Got a lotta work, I bet it,
Living in the past, I get it
Baggage like can I deal wit it

I’ll be real wit it,
Stay calm wit it,
Collect myself, and then conquer it

Shit, 
I live inside a circle of regret,
Got to fuckin move, if I don’t I’m dead
Struggle just to keep myself fed
Struggle gettin out my damn head
Nothing comes free, that I dread,
Hanging over me, many debts
I was bound to crumble down til I wept
Many moments I overslept, are now

Lost to time, not to youth,
Felt the lies, fine toothed, look
Even if I lost those chances,Gotta move on find new ones,
Not everybody finds good endings
Not everybody needs one
Yeah. ..I can’t forgive myself.

Don’t wanna live as a footnote,
Need a page in the book, do you feel that
Long ago what I said,
Look at you know, you made your mind and I'm read.

LYSEFJORD

i haven't done any singing excercises in nearly a year, my voice is shit now... but I'm thinkin im gonna start doing the exercises again. It's nice to be able to sing when I hope to, eheh... will someday release this with refined lyrics, a good mix that isn't just from my phone memo recording, and with a much better voice. Cheers.

This is also just a juice world instrumental, i did not create this beat lmao.

stream song demo

hope you enjoy. Felt really good making something different this time around. I think I may be able to accomplish just as much, if not more, ith raw sound over vocals. who knows?

refrain of spirit

I initially had a theme for Calamitas in mind, and I think it still functions in that way. But, I do think Yasuho from Jojo Part 8 was a big inspiration for this.

This is the 8th revision.
Cheers.

Yasuho Composition / Calamitas Saved,  #8

[=======]
Ooh, something tells me it’s all wrong
You were never really here
Living in my mind

Ooh, something tells me it’s all wrong
All along
All along
[=======]

ice fell, cold shut the window
I’m trapped, still taste the gun smoke
Missed calls and videos I don’t know
The walls talking, I don’t wanna go

Sickened, preaching, I can’t show
What’s left, it’s all overblown
I lost the vision, I can’t grow
Left behind on the plateau

I’m tired of getting up and outside
I lost the power to god damn cry
6 pops a day, need peace of mind
Prescribed, redefined my good side

Fished out, nobody stay around
The well dry, but I still found a way to drown
It’s so loud, I hate the goddamn sound
My life is safe underground

So long so depressed and addicted,
These fucks know I love contradiction
I’m alone it’s a mess, I’m afflicted
How the fuck was it all so predicted

This heat make a motherfucker wanna die
I can’t believe I want to suicide
Too pussy to act, I just try to hide
When the seed’s on the table, can’t apologize

Hate the fact that I lie when I’m washed up
Given up making friend cause I’m fucked up
Came down from a light, now my time’s up
God laughed and I’m waiting on Jesus

Face on the floor vision blurred,
Body weak, words turned,
No love left in the world,
Flesh and bone never cured.

and so on.

vocal sample is me, there are no external sources for this track. melodies and instruments modeled and sequenced from VSTs.

Reuploaded cause I literally just learned how to master and now it sounds fkin great lmao, at least compared to before

Weather

This was a fun one. It's not perfect, the ending needs improvement, but it's stuck the way it is because Logic pro loves me so, so much.

Please enjoy. More than anything I wanted a galactic, ADD type song that just leaves you out of breathe, bewildered. There were better ways to go about that I suppose... but I like this one quite a lot. Cheers.

AROMA_X

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