The aim is not to grow into someone other than who you are; the goal is to work through the layers of doubt and fear that you’ve accumulated on this earthwalk to remember who you truly are.

Use any fear surfacing to heal, grow and strengthen yourself. Hard times activate hidden wounds that can be remedied. Making you stronger, wiser and more loving when the pandemic ends.

Remember — times of discomfort are periods of elite growth. We don’t expand so much when everything’s fabulous.

Recode Your Emotional Architecture for Fearlessness

Ready to learn about “WRAM Syndrome”? [one of the primary reasons good people fail].

Set to learn how to maintain the “white-belt mentality” requires to dominate your domain and live the life of your highest ambitions?

Fascinated in learning what “the bald man in the big Mercedes” can teach us about winning, mastery and reaching legendary?

If yes, go ahead and listen to this episode of The Mastery Sessions.

The Bald Man In The Big Mercedes

Trailer Music — Homay Schmitz

We've all asked "what if" questions about our life: What if I had majored in art instead of business? What if I had let my best friend know I liked her as more than a friend? What if I had taken the job offer in Colorado? Sometimes contemplating the imagined possibilities of these alternative histories fills us with sharp pangs of regret.

My guest today says that's not necessarily a bad thing. His name is Neal Roese and he's a professor of psychology and marketing and the author of If Only: How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity. Neal and I begin our conversation by unpacking how asking "what if" is to engage in something called "counterfactual thinking," and how you can create a downward counterfactual, in which you imagine how a decision could have turned out worse, or an upward counterfactual, where you imagine how a decision could have turned out better. Neal then explains why living without regret isn't actually that healthy, and why even though regret is an unpleasant feeling, it can be an important spur towards greater improvement, action, and agency. We then do get into the circumstances in which regret can become a negative force, before turning to what Neal's research says are the most common regrets people have in life. At the end of our conversation, we pivot to talking about how imagining how your life could have turned out worse, can make you feel happier. 

Get the show notes at aom.is/regret.

#620: How to Deal With Life's Regrets

War is a violent and bloody business, but it's rarely a no-holds barred free-for-all. Instead, codes of conduct that determine what is and isn't honorable behavior on the battlefield have existed since ancient times.

My guest today explored these various codes in a book she wrote during the decade she spent teaching at the United States Naval Academy. Her name is Shannon French, she's a professor of ethics and philosophy, and her book is The Code of the Warrior: Exploring Warrior Values Past and Present. Shannon and I begin our conversation with the pointed questions she used to pose to the cadets she taught as to how being a warrior was different than being a killer or murderer, and when killing is and isn't ethical. She then explains how the warrior codes which developed all around the world arose organically from warriors themselves for their own protection, and how these codes are more about identity than rules. Shannon and I then take a tour of warrior codes across time and culture, starting with the code in Homer's Iliad, and then moving into the strengths and weaknesses of the Stoic philosophy which undergirded the code of the Romans. From there we unpack the code of the medieval knights of Arthurian legend, what American Indians can teach soldiers about the need to make clear transitions between the homefront and the warfront, and how the Bushido code of the samurais sought to balance the influence of four different religions. We end our conversation with the role warrior codes play today in an age of increasingly technologized combat. 

Get the show notes at aom.is/warriorcode.

#625: The Code of the Warrior

A few weeks ago, two nuclear-armed neighbors got into a fistfight. Actually, there were some clubs and other handheld weapons, too. It was bizarre and people died, more than 20 on the Indian side. The Chinese have been more coy about their numbers. To get a grip on what happened and what it means for the future, we have Maria Abi-Habib of the New York Times on the show. Abi-Habib is a South Asia correspondent who is based in India’s capital of Delhi. <ul><li>Recorded 7/22/20</li><li>India’s army focus</li><li>How the battle went down</li><li>How to project power without even trying</li><li>How to lose friends and influence your enemies</li></ul> War College has a substack! <a href="https://angryplanet.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Join the Information War</a> to get weekly insights into our angry planet and hear more conversations about a world in conflict. <a href="https://warcollege.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://angryplanet.substack.com/</a>You can listen to War College on<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/war-college/id1023774600?mt=2" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> iTunes</a>,<a href="https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jason-fields/war-college" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> Stitcher</a>,<a href="https://play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/Ioueaqtuifyfrxlbf6e6ec6difm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> Google Play</a> or follow our<a href="http://rss.acast.com/warcollege" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> RSS directly</a>. Our website is <a href="http://warcollegepodcast.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">warcollegepodcast.com</a>. You can reach us on our Facebook page:<a href="https://www.facebook.com/warcollegepodcast/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> https://www.facebook.com/warcollegepodcast/</a>; and on Twitter:<a href="https://twitter.com/War_College" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> @War_College</a>. &#10;&nbsp; <hr>See <a style='color: grey; ' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for privacy and opt-out information.

Why China and India are Fighting With Clubs

When people start on a self-development journey, they'll sometimes create a bucket list -- all the things, all the typically exciting and pleasurable things, they hope to do before they die. My guest started his own self-improvement journey very differently, by creating an anti-bucket list consisting of things he didn't want to do, and embarking on a "year of adversity."

His name is Ben Aldridge and he's the author of How to Be Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable: 43 Weird & Wonderful Ways to Build a Strong, Resilient Mindset. Ben and I begin our conversation with how his struggle with debilitating panic attacks inspired him to study philosophical and psychological ideas on how to fight back against his anxiety, what he learned that can benefit anyone looking to be more resilient, and how he was particularly inspired by the Stoic idea of intentionally practicing adversity to prepare for adversity. We then talk about the project Ben set for himself of embarking on a year of mental, physical, and skill-based challenges designed to push himself outside his comfort zone, how he decided what kinds of challenges to do, and how doing hard things changed him. From there we get into the specific challenges Ben completed, from taking cold showers to learning Japanese, and what they taught him about self-discipline, facing your fears, and the human potential for growth. We end our conversation with the ways he's continued to push himself after the year of challenges was through, even in the midst of the pandemic lockdown, including climbing Mt. Everest from inside his house.

Get the show notes at aom.is/getuncomfortable.

#640: Weird and Wonderful Ways to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Losing stinks. Nobody wants to suffer defeat in a game, flunk a test, or get passed over for a promotion. Losses can feel like stinging humiliations, insurmountable setbacks, like the end of the world; they can even push us to quit pursuing something we love. And yet losses can be the most instructive and meaningful parts of our lives, and be central to our ultimate success.

My guest set out to study and explain these underappreciated upsides of getting bested. His name is Sam Weinman, he's a sportswriter, and he shares what he learned in his book, Win at Losing: How Our Greatest Setbacks Can Lead to Our Greatest Gains, as well as in today's episode. Sam and I begin our conversation with how losing is typically a lot more interesting than winning, the difference between losing and failing, and how you can lose without failing, as well as fail without losing. Sam then illustrates the lessons in humility, growth, personal responsibility, and resilience that can come from losing by sharing the stories of famous people who dealt with famously big losses, including golfer Greg Norman, soap star Susan Lucci, presidential candidate Michael Dukakis, and speed skater Dan Jansen. We end our conversation with how Sam's study of how to turn loss into gain has influenced his own children and the way they deal with setbacks.

Good insights here both on how to deal with your own losses as well as how to help your kids deal with theirs.

Get the show notes at aom.is/winatlosing.

#646: How to Win at Losing

Indigenous peoples burned their land for thousands of years to prevent much larger fires. Why it might be an important part of future wildfire prevention.

Science Friday

How Indigenous Burning Practices Could Prevent Massive Wildfires

We typically think of fear as a negative emotion. Something that feels terrible, and not only keeps us away from true danger, but also inhibits us from going after our life's goals and passions. 

Fear can indeed be an unwelcome hindrance, but, my guest today argues, it can also be a powerful propellant and a signpost towards success. His name is Patrick Sweeney, he's a tech entrepreneur, a university lecturer, a coach and consultant to CEOs, professional athletes, and Navy SEALs, and the author of Fear Is Fuel: The Surprising Power to Help You Find Purpose, Passion, and Performance. We begin our conversation with how a diagnosis of leukemia forced Patrick to confront the fact that he had led a life dominated and shrunken by fear, and inspired him to face those fears and to spend six years talking to leading neuroscientists about how to live more courageously. He explains how fear should be thought of not only as an early warning system for danger, but as an early warning system for opportunity. We then unpack the three kinds of fears which exist, and how you can be fearful in one area but courageous in another. Patrick then explains how it's possible to train the brain's courage center to control and reprogram its fear center, so you can get the best from fear, rather than letting it get the best of you. We discuss how uncertainty creates something called "free energy," how free energy creates fear, and how to reduce both forces by exposing yourself to a wide range of experiences. We end our conversation with how to find the motivation to take the first step into a fear, and three things you can do to gain the confidence to take action in the face of uncertainty.

Get the show notes at aom.is/fearisfuel.

#651: How to Turn Fear Into Fuel

Law and order, it’s one of the catchphrases of this election. Crime rates, in some cities in America, are on the rise but crime, in general, is down. But 2020 has been a chaotic year and our news feeds are filled with violent images of militant groups, protestors, riots, burning buildings, and everything in between. The sad fact is that not all crime in America is reported on in the same way, that the protest movement is overwhelmingly peaceful, but not always, and that police militarization has exacerbated all our current problems. Here to help us untangle some of this is Danny Gold. Gold is a Pulitzer Center grantee, a documentary producer whose work has appeared in VICE Nice, The New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal. He’s also the host of the new Underworld Podcast—a series about the global criminal underworld. <ul><li>Recorded 10/6/20</li></ul> Angry Planet has a substack! <a href="https://angryplanet.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Join the Information War</a> to get weekly insights into our angry planet and hear more conversations about a world in conflict. <a href="https://angryplanet.substack.com/subscribe" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://angryplanet.substack.com/subscribe</a>You can listen to Angry Planet on<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/war-college/id1023774600?mt=2" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> iTunes</a>,<a href="https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/jason-fields/war-college" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> Stitcher</a>,<a href="https://play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/Ioueaqtuifyfrxlbf6e6ec6difm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> Google Play</a> or follow our<a href="http://rss.acast.com/warcollege" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> RSS directly</a>. Our website is <a href="http://angryplanetpod.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">angryplanetpod.com</a>. You can reach us on our Facebook page:<a href="https://www.facebook.com/angryplanetpodcast/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> https://www.facebook.com/angryplanetpodcast/</a>; and on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/angryplanetpod" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@angryplanetpod</a>. &#10;&nbsp; <hr>See <a style='color: grey; ' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer' href='https://acast.com/privacy'>acast.com/privacy</a> for privacy and opt-out information.

#646: How to Win at Losing

The Art of Manliness

Related tracks