Dating is a relatively recent phenomenon in human history. Given that, it shouldn't come as a surprise that many people aren't sure of the best way to go about it, especially since the rise of modern technology and dating apps has made an already murky landscape even more confusing.

If you feel like you could use some expert, research-backed guidance to navigating this world, enter today's guest, Logan Ury. Logan is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach, the Director of Relationship Science for the Hinge dating app, and the author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. Today on the show, Logan explains the three dating tendencies and the three types of attachment styles that can influence, and potentially sabotage, your ability to get into a healthy relationship. She shares the easiest thing you can do to be more successful in making connections on the dating apps, and the criteria to use for figuring out how to best meet people in person. Logan then gets into how to design a good first date, and what to tell the other person if the date doesn't go well, rather than ghosting them. She also makes the case for why you shouldn't be over reliant on feeling the proverbial spark when deciding whether to see someone again. We end our conversation with tips on breaking up with someone you've been dating for awhile.

#778: A Playbook for Modern Dating

WWhen we talk about conspiracy theories we tend to focus on what people believe instead of why, and, more importantly, why they believe those things and not other things. In this episode, we sit down with two psychologists working to change that, and in addition, change the term itself from conspiracy theory to conspiracy narrative, which more accurately describes what makes any one conspiracy appealing enough to form a community around it and in rare cases result in collective action.
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<li aria-level="1">Newsletter: <a href="https://davidmcraney.substack.com/">https://davidmcraney.substack.com</a></li>
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240 - QAnon and Conspiracy Narratives (rebroadcast)

Château de Sable

A lot of people really dislike conflict and have a low opinion of it. They're uncomfortable with disagreements at the office, think there's no room for contention at church, worry that fighting with their partner means their relationship is destined to dissolve, and generally feel that heated arguments tear communities apart.

My guest today, Ian Leslie, used to be one of these conflict-averse people. But as he discovered in researching his new book, Conflicted: How Productive Disagreements Lead to Better Outcomes, conflict not only brings us together, the lack of it, he says, just plain makes us stupider. Today on the show, Ian and I discuss why people get the idea that conflict is unproductive from watching online arguments and why these flame wars aren't actually indicative of the value of arguing offline. We then delve into this surprising value, from the way conflict makes us smarter, to how couples who have heated arguments are actually happier. Ian unpacks some of the myths around difficult conversations, such as the idea that they have to be done in a strictly rational and unemotional way to be fruitful, and he offers ways to approach conflict that will make it more productive, especially remembering to always prioritize the relationship above all.

Resources Related to the Podcast

AoM Article: The Rationality of Emotions
AoM Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations
Podcast #648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation (With Laurence Alison)
reddit — Change My View

Connect with Kevin Maurer

Ian's Website
Ian on Twitter

#799: Getting Along Is Overrated

Pour ne pas que les voix s’effacent, Sophie a gardé tous les messages du répondeur téléphonique de ses 20 ans. Des centaines de messages qui racontent les années 90, les amis, les amours et le temps qui passe... Désormais réalisatrice TV et radio, Sophie commente un montage dynamique de toutes ces voix. Elle revit ses vingt ans, ses histoires d’amour et ses débuts en radio… La saga s’achève à la veille de ses 40 ans, âge de la (pseudo) maturité professionnelle et amoureuse. Un formidable hommage aux pouvoirs du sonore et à la mémoire des voix, un documentaire exceptionnel à la recherche du temps perdu.

Episode 4
En 1994, Sophie profite de son stage à RFI à la Maison de la Radio pour aller toquer à la porte de son idole, Daniel Mermet, responsable de « Là-bas si j’y suis ». Pendant deux ans, elle travaille d’arrache-pied pour réponde à l’exigence hautement radiophonique de cette émission mythique. Elle trouve du réconfort auprès d’amoureux qu’elle rencontre, évidemment, dans les couloirs de la maison ronde. Mais en amour comme au boulot, il n’est pas facile de rester fidèle à ses idées…

Enregistrements : 1989-1994, 2022 - Mise en ondes & mix : Charlie Marcelet - Texte, voix, réalisation : Sophie Simonot - Illustration : Quentin Faucompré - Production : ARTE Radio

Vous êtes bien chez Sophie (4/6)

Ray Gillenwater and Nick Delgadillo discuss how becoming stronger often resolves pain, working through or around injuries, and when to see a PT. 

01:43 - We don't do rehab
10:32 - What we have to offer
15:09 - It's a programming problem
19:21 - Pain is in your head?
27:08 - Form issues/Fix your form
36:57 - Being consistent 
41:33 - Recovery factors to consider
50:09 - Making things heal
01:00:14 - When to get help/another opinion

SS Gyms Podcast

Rehab with Nick Delgadillo | Starting Strength Gyms Podcast #36

I talk to Cal Newport, author of the book So Good They Can't Ignore Ignore You. In his book Cal makes that case that "following your passion" is terrible career advice and can actually cause people needless anxiety and problems in their lives because they're constantly jumping from one career to the next.  Instead of "following your passion",  he argues that you should instead focus on developing mastery in a skill that will allow you to build up career capital,  which in turns opens up more opportunities for control of you work, which in turn allows you to cultivate a job that you're passionate about. Fulfilling work comes from cultivating your passion, not following it.  This is a must listen to podcast for our college-aged listeners as well as for folks who've felt a twinge of anxiety about whether they're in the right job. 

#78: The Myth of Following Your Passion With Cal Newport

Kattwarts: School of Pimpcraft & Niggatry

While there’s been a big push in recent decades to help girls thrive in school and in the workplace, boys in America have quietly been struggling. For example, boys are more likely to have learning and discipline issues in school and are less likely to graduate high school than girls, more women are now attending college than men and are earning more bachelors and masters degrees than men, the incarceration rate for boys has increased in the past few decades, and suicide rates have increased among teenage boys. What’s more, teachers and therapists have reported that boys seem increasingly disengaged from school and life.

If boys are having so much trouble, why don’t we hear more about it? And more importantly, what can we do as parents, teachers, and mentors to help them?

My guest today has spent his career researching childhood development and helping boys become fulfilled men. His name is Michael Gurian, and in his latest book, "Saving Our Sons: A New Path for Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys," he provides insights on why America’s boy problem is ignored, as well as concrete steps that parents and mentors can take to help these young men grow up well.

Today on the show, Michael explains what the "Dominant Gender Paradigm" is and why it causes institutions to ignore the problems of boys and young men, what people get wrong about male violence, and what male anhedonia is. He then argues that if we want to help boys (and girls) we need to approach things from what he calls a "Nature Based Theory," which recognizes that while boys and girls have a lot in common, there are biological differences that influence the way boys learn, socialize, and behave. Michael then provides concrete things parents and schools can do to cater to these differences in boys to help them thrive and become resilient men.

If you’re the parent of boy or if you teach or mentor young boys, you don’t want to miss this episode.

#326: Why Boys Are Struggling & What We Can Do To Help Them

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Rebel Without A Cause

Finally, we see Robert C. Kozletsky return with a dreary and guitar driven follow up to 2016's Stone Speak. Against Civilization is where Robert takes a different sonic path. Vastly different from past releases, but still wrapped in the solemn sound Apocryphos is known for.

Civilization is a curse. Your head hangs heavy in the windowpane as you gaze upon the dregs of society. It soon collapses and nature turns feral. Those desperate to cling to their hollow idols fall silent, eyes sunken. They are not there. They have abandoned us. They are against civilization...

Features stark and captivating artwork by Erik Osvald and a 12 page booklet with extended artwork and text emphasizing the turmoil within the music. Close friend and fellow collaborator Pär Bostrom (Kammarheit, Cities Last Broadcast, Hymnambulae) makes an appearance on two tracks.

Recommended for long nights, rainy days and fans of cold and emotional soundscapes

#778: A Playbook for Modern Dating

The Art of Manliness

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