Very inspiring for fatherless, mentorless, purposeless men of all ages, who dwell in fear and struggle to find courage living a meaningful life.

2021

In this conversation with Elizabeth Gilbert, our generation's "Mark Twain," we unpack the inherent magic of language, embracing the sacred "No," what it takes to have the things you say you want, and to sex or not to sex on book tour. Ha. Liz has an extraordinary way with words (but you knew that) and a rich perspective on what it means to share your magic with the world. Her eighth bestseller, BIG MAGIC is nothing short of brilliant and we're elated to have her with us. For more inspiring interviews with best-selling authors, subscribe to the Beautiful Writers Podcast on iTunes. To get access to our thriving community of writers visit TheBeautifulWritersGroup.com.

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Elizabeth Gilbert : The Big Magic of Creative Living

"All of a sudden you can program the world" -- it's the continuation of the software eating the world thesis we put out over five years ago, and of the trajectory of past and current technology shifts. So what are those shifts? What tech trends and platforms do we find most interesting on the heels of raising our fifth fund? Are we just building on and extending existing platforms though, or will there be new platforms; and if so, what will they be? Well, distributed systems for one...

This episode of the a16z Podcast covers all things distributed systems -- encompassing cloud and SaaS; A.I., machine learning, deep learning; and quantum computing -- to the role of hardware; future interfaces; and data, big and small. Podcast guests Marc Andreessen and Ben Horowitz (in conversation with Scott Kupor and Sonal Chokshi) also share the one piece of advice from a management and go-to-market perspective that all founders should know. And finally, why simulations matter... and what do we make of our current reality if we are all really living in a simulation as Elon Musk believes?

a16z Podcast: Software Programs the World

Rediscover the wonder in the mundane and the everyday with writer Paulo Coelho. He reframes the practice of pilgrimage as a journey into the mysterious question, “Who am I?” He says that every day holds “this possibility, this chance of discovering something new.”

Paulo Coelho is the author of many books including "The Pilgrimage," "Veronika Decides to Die," and "The Alchemist."

Find the transcript for this show at onbeing.org.

Becoming Wise — Season 2

The Pilgrimage of "Who Am I?" | Paulo Coelho [Becoming Wise]

The Healing Light (excerpt)

HEALING THE EARTH (excerpts)

For thousands of years, the study of rhetoric was a fundamental part of a man's education. Though it ceased to be commonly taught in the 19th century, my guest today argues that it's an art well worth reviving in the modern day.

His name is Jay Heinrichs, and he's an expert in language and persuasion and the author of Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion. Jay and I begin our conversation with a description of what rhetoric is, why after being taught around the world for centuries it fell out of favor as a component of education, and why it's still essential for everyone, especially leaders, to learn. We then unpack the difference between fighting and arguing, and how it’s the latter that’s a lost art, especially in our digital age. From there we discuss each of Aristotle’s three tools of rhetoric -- ethos, pathos, and logos -- including a dive into how the way your audience sees your character is so important, and how you can even do an ethos analysis of your resume. We then delve into Cicero's five canons of rhetoric, and Jay shares a smart technique for memorizing a presentation, and thus delivering it more persuasively. We end our conversation with a fun game you can play to sharpen your rhetorical skills. 

Get the show notes at aom.is/rhetoric.

#639: Why You Should Learn the Lost Art of Rhetoric

In 13 minutes, practice cultivating unconditional friendliness which research has shown to increase happiness, resilience and goal-attainment. As lawyers in training, this meditation can help you be more balanced, rather than needlessly adversarial or aggressive, in your practice.

Lovingkindness - 9-18-20

There’s this idea that the female orgasm is a complicated riddle, but for a man with a penis, getting off is easy peasy. Is there really an orgasm gap? And if so — can science explain it? To learn more, we talk to neuroscientist Dr. Nan Wise, neuroscientist Dr. Nicole Prause and psychologist Dr. Candice Hargons.

Here’s a link to our transcript: bit.ly/340vQDV

- Learn more about Dr. Nicole Prause’s’s lab, the Liberos Center: https://www.liberoscenter.com/

- Check out Dr. Nan Wise’s website and her book “Why Good Sex Matters”: https://askdoctornan.com/

- And check out Dr. Candice Hargons' website: http://drcandicenicole.com/

Thanks to everyone who participated in our survey and shared your orgasm stories with us!

This episode was produced by Hannah Harris Green, with help from Wendy Zukerman, Michelle Dang, Rose Rimler and Nick DelRose. We’re edited by Blythe Terrell. Fact checking by Eva Dasher. Mix and sound design by Peter Leonard. Music written by Peter Leonard, Marcus Bagala, Emma Munger, and Bobby Lord. Data Analysis by Morgan Green. Consulting by Rebecca Kling. Thanks to everyone we got in touch with for this episode including Dr. Adam Safron, Professor Larry Baskin, Professor Caroline Pukall, Dr. Laurence Levine, Dr. Jasmine Abrams, Dr. Justin Garcia, Dr. Laurie Mintz, Dr. Michael Brecht, Dr. Marcalee Alexander and Dr. Erica Marchand. A special thanks to the Zukerman family, Patty Harris, Richard Green and Joseph Lavelle Wilson.

Science Vs

Orgasms: Come for the Science

Chances are, you've got a job right now. Chances are even good that you have a pretty decent job. But there's also a good chance that you often desire something more from your work life. Not just a better job, but the kind of job you've always wanted. A dream job.

Whether you're currently employed or not, my guest today has concrete advice on how to turn your longing for a dream job into a reality. His name is Ramit Sethi and he's a personal finance expert, the owner of I Will Teach You to Be Rich, and the creator of the Find Your Dream Job program. Today on the show, Ramit explains why finding your dream job, even in our current economic environment, is entirely viable, as long as you understand that this pursuit is a skill like any other. He then walks listeners through what the average job seeker does wrong, and what the skill of landing your dream job actually involves, beginning with knowing which of three career seasons you’re currently in. We get into why you shouldn't just look for an opening with the same job title that you have now, but should figure out what your dream company and dream role look like instead. Ramit shares the 10-second test you should do to determine if you've got a winning resume, and what you should put in and take out of your resume as well as your cover letter. We also get into how to prepare for and ace a job interview, including how to answer the infamous "Tell me about yourself" question, as well as other sticky questions like why you've been out of work for a long time or were fired from your last job. We end our conversation with considerations to think about if you're contemplating changing careers to a completely different field.

Get the show notes at aom.is/dreamjob.

How to Land Your Dream Job

Research, not to mention anecdotal observation, shows that a lot of narcissists end up in leadership positions. That's because the qualities narcissism enlarges into extremes -- confidence, assertiveness, a sense of destiny -- help people rise to the top.

Unfortunately, the same qualities of narcissism that help an individual obtain a leadership position, can prevent them from being effective in that position, and from holding onto it.

My guest's research has uncovered what can be a solution to this dilemma: the timeless virtue of humility. His name is Brad Owens, he's a professor of business ethics, and we begin our discussion today by digging into the fact that studies done on the effect of narcissism on leadership have been inconsistent, with some showing it to have a positive effect, and others a negative one. Brad explains that the reason these studies may have been inconclusive, is that while narcissism can get someone into a leadership role, it then gets in the way of them succeeding in that role. We then turn to the idea that cultivating humility can temper the negative effects of narcissism, and the three aspects of humility every leader, whether narcissistic or not, should cultivate. We discuss whether there are situations where you do want to be more narcissistic than humble, what a humble, narcissistic leader looks like, and how Steve Jobs and George Washington serve as examples of this combination of qualities.

#675: The Humble, Narcissistic Leader

Do you ever have moments of terrible realization where you recognize that you're living on autopilot? Instead of feeling like you're in the driver's seat, you feel like life is happening to you. You're just going through the motions, you've lost your spark, and the months and years slide by in an indistinct blur. 

My guest today has been there himself, and has an action plan for how to find your way out. His name is Antonio Neves, and he's a writer, speaker, and success coach, as well as the author of Stop Living on Autopilot: Take Responsibility for Your Life and Rediscover a Bolder, Happier You. At the start of our conversation, Antonio shares his own experience with outwardly having a life that seemed happy and successful, while inwardly feeling totally lost and stuck. We then turn to some really great, incisive questions to ask yourself to assess if you’re coasting in life and to become more accountable to the changes you need to make to start intentionally steering again. We talk about what you're really missing when you say you miss the good old days, how to ensure the best of your life is ahead of you instead of behind you, and why you need to make a list of all your current complaints. We then discuss the importance of who you surround yourself with, why you need allies instead of thieves in your circle, and the difference something called "Man Mornings" has made in Antonio's life. We end our conversation with concrete steps you can start taking today to shift out of autopilot, including Antonio's personal checklist of five things he does every day to ensure it's a good one.

Get the show notes aom.is/autopilot.

#676: Stop Living on Autopilot and Take Responsibility for Your Life

When you were a kid, you not only went to school, where you did academics, art, and PE, but you probably also took extracurricular lessons in music or sports, and likely even taught yourself things like how to do magic tricks.

Now that you're an adult, can you think of the last new skill you learned?

My guest today explains why there's a good chance that you'll struggle to answer that question, and how that's a tragedy you ought to do something about. His name is Tom Vanderbilt, and he's the author of several books, including his latest, Beginners: The Joy and Transformative Power of Lifelong Learning. Tom and I discuss why his daughter's desire to learn chess inspired him to spend a year learning the game himself, as well as to take on a project of learning other new skills. Tom explains the reasons adults give up learning, and why, while it is harder for adults to learn new things than it is for children, it's still worth becoming a novice all over again. We then explore how to harness the beginner's mind, using Tom's experiences in learning how to sing, surf, juggle, and draw as examples. We end our conversation with Tom's takeaways from his experiment, and how becoming a lifelong learner is really all about pushing through the mental barriers that hold us back from the many possibilities for growth that remain in adulthood.

Get the show notes at aom.is/lifelonglearning.

#677: The Value of Learning New Skills in Adulthood

As men, we all want to be physically capable. We want to be able to save our own life in two ways: in the more metaphorical sense of wanting to preserve it in healthy, fit form for as long as possible, and in the more literal sense of being able to make it through an emergency unscathed. How do you know if you do possess that kind of lifesaving physical capability?

It's time to do more than wonder, and really check in with yourself. My guest today has some helpful benchmarks that guys from age 8 to 80 can use to see if they've got an operative level of strength, mobility, and conditioning. His name is Dan John, and he's a strength coach and the author of numerous books and articles on health and fitness. Dan walks us through the fitness standards the average male should be able to meet from childhood to old age, beginning with the assessments he gives to those who are 55 years old and older, which includes carrying their body weight, a long jump, and something called "the toilet test." We then reach back to childhood, and Dan discusses the physical skills kids should become adept in, which were inspired by a turn-of-the-20th-century physical culturist who thought every individual ought to be able to save his own life, and which can be broken down into the categories of pursuit, escape, and attack. We end our conversation with the physical standards those in the 18-55 range should be able to meet, including how much a man should be able to bench press, squat, and deadlift, and the walking test that's an excellent assessment of your cardiovascular conditioning.

Get the show notes at aom.is/benchmarks.

#678: Physical Benchmarks Every Man Should Meet, At Every Age

When we think of hacking, we think of a tech-savvy dude breaking into computer systems to steal data. But hackers can also take the form of "social engineers" who get what they want by building rapport and penetrating psychological defenses.

My guest is an expert and pioneer in the area of human hacking, and shows individuals and companies the weaknesses of their security systems by breaking into their offices and computers, not by bypassing pass codes and firewalls, but simply by walking in the front door, and knowing how to ask for and receive access from the humans who run the show

His name is Chris Hadnagy, and he's the author of Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You, which takes the social engineering principles con men and malicious social hackers use to breach security systems and steal data, and shows the average person how to use them for positive ends in their personal and professional relationships. Today on the show, Chris shares how assessing which of four styles of communication someone prefers can help you better connect with them, why you should approach every interaction knowing your pretext, the keys for building rapport, and the difference between manipulation and influence. We end our conversation with tips on the art of elicitation -- how to get information from someone without directly asking for it.

#680: Influence and Persuade Through Human Hacking

You probably know a young man, or several, who's struggled to transition from adolescence to adulthood. He's in his twenties or even thirties, and seems lost and in limbo, unsure of how to create an independent, flourishing life. Maybe you're this man yourself.

My guest today has some ideas on what has gone wrong in these cases and how to break out of the debilitating cycles many young men, whom he calls "emerging men," find themselves stuck in. His name is Gregory Koufacos and he's a therapist, addiction counselor, and the author of The Primal Method: A Book for Emerging Men. Greg and I begin our discussion with why men are getting stuck in their transition from boyhood to manhood, Greg's own story of arrested and frustrated development, and how working as a 26-year-old under a 16-year-old manager was part of what he needed to do to move on from his dream of playing professional football. We then discuss why traditional therapy methods typically don't work for men, how Greg developed his own form of counseling that emphasizes getting outside the therapist's office to move, take action, and participate in real life -- what Greg calls "entering the agora" -- and why this approach is so effective. We also discuss the things that help young men move forward, which include Greg's concepts of "empathetic challenge" and "holding the line," as well as finding good mentors and friends. We end our conversation with what men can do to start nurturing their small, latent spark into a more powerful and purposeful fire.

Get the show notes at aom.is/emergingmen.

#684: Help for Those Stuck Between Boyhood and Manhood

The Art of Manliness

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