http://stadiumsandshrines.com/johnny-ripper-observer/

words/voice • Natalie Reid

sometimes i hate to think that i exist inside of other people's heads
to think that there are nonconsensual perceptions of me 
that i have scarcely any control of fashioning
i am shaped by their past, not mine

shaped by the light shining forth 
from every mother's womb
into that of the earth
which is a different tone for everybody
and casts their life ethereally
accordingly to the hue that this ray has taken

Camus wrote that we exist as these dichotomies -
who we believe ourselves to be and what we are perceived as
the latter reminds me of the fruit whose beginning and whose end is forgotten
because people only fare attention to it's ripening, when it is ready for the taking
presented prettily and perfectly, when its at it's most fruitful so to speak
when you can get the most from it

but do you know what a lime tree looks like in the spring? 
have you ever thought about the juxtaposition of the apple pit in the plastic bag? 
does it make you feel anything? 

sometimes i hate to think that I make other people feel
that my mother has shed tears for me
i remember some nights ago rolling a spliff mind trance-like, rambling
i saw her hands in my own and recognized her voice in mine
sometimes I wonder if i'm easy to forget
my hands
my words

whenever it so happens that i catch a stranger's gaze on the street
i try my best to smile and dreamily wonder
whether they too feel rapture from ephemeral connections
i like to linger on the impressions of those to whom i exist merely as a body cloaked in cloth, abstracted minds, earbuds spewing indeterminacy, kicking salt stained boots forth trying not to slip on ice
they'll remember me so simply, so simply
as i remember them, as i've invented them

isn't it strange that we can fall in love with the idea of someone?
isn't it strange that everyone you know, you don't really know.
you've painted a picture of them in your head, picasso-like fragments of reality
and everyone you know exists differently to everyone else
like schrodinger's cat, do i exist if you cannot see me? is it really me that you'll remember then? 

i think in order to know someone, you must have seen them all alone
or have some notion of that rawness
when they're waking
stretching
dancing
in the morning
truthful
still naked
still dazed in dreams
while coffee coats
their singing tongue

and the rising sun paints them
for who they are

observer (natalie's song)

Type2

Suffocate

You.let.her.in

SN02 - SO BAD // ZHEN
STRANGE NEIGHBOR - 2017

SO BAD
PRODUCED BY SWARVY FT. MNDSGN AND CLARK AND THE COMMUNITY

SN02 - SO BAD // ZHEN - SWARVY FT. MNDSGN / LOJII / CLARK AND THE COMMUNITY.

SOBAD - SWARVY FT MNDSGN // CLARK AND THE COMMUNITY [SN02]

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Lost for a time, an interval. Though no time lost. Besides, this familiarity is amorphous, this nostalgia unplaced. Where was I? 

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