Dust & Shadow

Thinking of the time when we first met,
Since then so many words were left unsaid.
Don’t you think?
We could have salvaged something if you just let me in.
Never again am I to play the fool,
With every breath you take you are so cruel.
Can’t you see?
I am tired, I am done with this controversy.

Make it work,
I am done,
End it all and pull the plug.
Sweep it all under the rug.
In time you’ll see you’re not the one for me.

A history in a memory,
A miracle in time,
You better not forget me,
Cause you’re always on my mind.
And arguments aside you are
The one thing for which I would die
Don’t turn away, I won’t give up without a fight. 
(Fight, fight, fight,
I won’t give up without a fight, fight.)

We’re both at fault and we’ve both made mistakes,
A small slip of the tongue is all it takes,
And we’re back,
At the beginning of everything (more bones to break).
I’m tired of running circles around you.
I’m tired of jumping through your every hoop.
Cut some slack,
I just want to love you in a way that you can back.

Make it work,
I am done,
End it all and pull the plug.
Sweep it all under the rug.
In time you’ll see you’re not the one for me.

A history in a memory,
A miracle in time,
You better not forget me,
Cause you’re always on my mind.
And arguments aside you are
The one thing for which I would die
Don’t turn away, I won’t give up without a fight. 
(Fight, fight, fight,
I won’t give up without a fight, fight.)

Fight

All we do is break each other
No relying outward for cover.
God, I am so tired.
Expose yourself to words so deadly.
Listen to the taunts they throw thee.
Oh why? What do I expect to find?

I am the broken wall letting the light shine through.
I am that shred of hope emancipating you.
I am the mighty heart that will not break in two.
I am your guardian. I am your savior.

Think for a moment, stop a second.
Get on the ground and drop your weapons or die.
Just comply.
You shift the goalposts, break the rules and
Expect the world to hand you jewels and a life
Free of trials.
It costs nothing to be kind…

You are so pure of heart, one, which will remain true.
You are going to soar as thunderbolts ensue.
You are the specimen that I aspire to.
You are my champion. You are a leader.

We are the solution to the problem at hand.
We are responsible. And we must take a stand.
We are willing to change if it means we can live
In perfect harmony. We are our freedom.

I/You/We

Wait until spring.
Remember everything.
What I’ve done for you.
Sacrificed for you.
The least you could do is thank me.
Is thank me.

I pray you return.
I simply can’t discern.
Your intimacy,
Followed by swift retreat.
Just be straight with me.
Honesty.
Honesty.

Honesty

Gay

Take x12
Anything you want from me and
Make x12
My entire world complete cause
I x12
Cannot find a single reason
Why x12
Not to take this moment. Seize it.

Despite such distance
The heart persists
And in these moments where we resist
I find myself questioning just why
I’d pass up the privilege to reside
Between your lips
Hands on your hips
Embracing with every second I get
Sometimes its so strong I’d dare to say 

You make me
Gay x12
Every time I look at you I
Faint x12
Makes me wanna jump right on a 
Plane x12
Every part of you drives me in-
Sane x12
You just make me really fucking
Gay.

I fall apart for you
I’d sell my soul for you 
Walk through the fire for you
You x4
I’m losing my mind for you
All I dream of is you
Wait for that hello from you
You x4
I’m holding back from telling you the 
truth x4
Cause god only knows what it will do x8

Despite such distance
The heart persists
And in these moments where we resist
I find myself questioning just why
I’d pass up the privilege to reside
Between your lips
Hands on your hips
Embracing with every second I get
Sometimes its so strong I’d dare to 
Say x8

For you I’m
Gay x12
For you, I’m overstimulated,
Babe x12
You know I wanna go all the
Way x12
Fuck it, you’re so beautiful I’d
Pay x12 
If I wasn’t before now I’m
Gay x12
Every time I look at you I
Faint x12
Makes me wanna jump right on a 
Plane x12
Every part of you drives me in-
Sane x12
You just make me really fucking
Gay.

GAY.

I climb my way out of the scrapheap.
From the shrapnel buried deep.
I’m inferior,
but I’m fighting my way to be heard and seen.
I need a firmware remodelling,
I’m hoping for a view of defragmenting.
I’m overheating and i’m freezing.
& My motherboard is seizing up.

Years go by and I have changed
not for the best.
observe my dwindling state.
I’m turning to rust
I’m obsolete, it’s true.
But I’m not done, reboot, apply the upgrade.
Sleeker design owing to faster process rate.
I’m brushing up
I’m coming back brand new.

I’m taking back my life,
I’m searching for a sign
Eradicating yesterday,
I’m aiming for the sky,
No reasons why.
I’ll walk into the night,
Scrap every single part of me.
I finally see the light.
The end’s in sight.

You are the erosion in my skin.
The afflictions of my next of kin.
My exterior,
is reflecting the truth that I hide within.
I believe I’m indispensable.
But somehow I’m so expendable.
My waning shell i’ll reinvent,
and pull apart my old mind and augment.

Which am I - man or machine?
There’s such a fine line in between.
Oh, I fear we are
Reverting to models we used to be.


Obsolete

Peaceful thoughts. Try to block it out.
I’m distraught & drowning in this bout.
Clawing at backs turned just like old times.
Praying desperation will change your mind.
It won’t, I know.
Did I ever say sorry?
Did I ever. It’s not enough.

What are your terms? Because it’s lonely without you.
I’d endure your worst because I’m lonely...

I can’t cope knowing you’re okay
With the hope of loving somebody else someday.
The fear of passing by you in the street,
As you lock hands with someone I can’t be.
It’s agony.
How do I turn back time?
Turn back time. What’s done is done.

What are your terms? Because it’s lonely without you.
I’d endure your worst because I’m lonely…
Could we ever return to when I wasn’t lonely, longing you.
When will I learn? Because I’m lonely, lonely, 
Lonely without you...

What went wrong?
Now I’m crying in my bed.
Just how long
Until you’re here with me instead?

What are your terms? Because it’s lonely without you.
I’d endure your worst because I’m lonely…
Could we ever return to when I wasn’t lonely, longing you.
When will I learn? Because I’m lonely…
Because I’m lonely…
Because I’m lonely… Without you.

Lonely Without You (Featuring Maria Gardner)

I see the light filter through my fingers as i
shield my eyes, from the fact that you linger in my sight,
stop haunting me.
but when night falls, nothing changes you’re still staring,
in the walls, eyes bloodshot and scaring me to death,
stop haunting me.

I admit you’re my haunter.
You’re my omen.
I admit you’re in control.
The arbiter.

I notice why, you’re entrapped within the fades
No black and white, immerse ourselves among the mass of grey.
Stop haunting me.
I pretend, figments of my imagination,
my mind defends, from you and your intentions why are you
still haunting me?

I admit you’re my haunter.
You’re my omen.
I admit you’re in control.
The arbiter.

Haunter

Phenomenal

I’ve said too much.
My eyes scream the tale.
My ageing skin.
I’m wearing thin.

Breathe slow, take a breath,
I know it’s harder to forget.
I love, I love, I love the thought,
Of the certainty I’m cured.

These scars run deep.
My home: the precipice.
This splinter in my mind,
Encourages the jump with time.
It’s getting harder to dismiss…

Breathe slow, take a breath,
I know it’s harder to forget.
I love, I love, I love the thought,
Of the certainty I’m cured.


Cured

Looking up at eyelids red,
On eggshells passersby tread,
And it leaves me so confused and upset.
waking to an open mouth,
my head swarming with self-doubt
I can't focus on a thing in my sight.

'Cause I'm cold & I'm alone,
Splayed upon etheric throne.
With a flushing in my lungs,
Invasive & useless tongues.

Reminiscing past events,
As I lay on the hard cement
Lest you save me, I am nothing but a vessel.
Assemble hands for futile prayer
for the man who is not there
Unsuccessful & completely out of your control.

Don't fret.
Don't fret.

I approach the path to home
Beyond this place & your own.
Justify your sentiment with a love that's heaven-sent.
as the door begins to close,
weights are lifted from my woes,
As I find a peace of mind, I pity what's left behind.

Tell me the world isn't over.
Tell me that lie.
Show me a version of hope that cannot die.
Cradle me until your arms give,
Until I decompose.
Find a peace in my demise & let it go.
(You're just no good at letting go)

(Letting go...)

I approach the path to home
Beyond this place & your own.
Justify your sentiment with a love that's heaven-sent.
as the door begins to close,
weights are lifted from my woes,
As I find a peace of mind, I pity what's left behind.

Lungs (Letting Go)

The pieces of the puzzle are fitting to so neatly.
Discovering you slowly & how you think you're so scene.
The substances a-plenty & all the smoke you inhale are causing rifts with me,
Not like you care cause...

You're not my friend.
I want revenge.
This is the story's end.
You cannot see.
It's killing me.
So much for harmony.

Don't you see how you've changed, in a moment of clarity?
How not giving a shit is your new favourite activity.
Don't you fear you might lose what you valued initially?
Well I'm sorry I cared, but I won't anymore you see...

You're not my friend.
I want revenge.
This is the story's end.
You cannot see.
It's killing me.
So much for harmony.

Story's End

Updated version of one of my fave tracks I've written,
Planning to feature Sally Garozzo on the new version, looking forward to it!
Levels are still shit, but hey! you get the gist! :P
Hope you enjoy!

End This.

I’ve waded through a thousand fires,
I’ve felt the burn of my empires.
Nothing compares to the smarting of your touch.
A brisk embrace.
I’m yet to see a satisfying history.
To play a hand I have lost continuously.

Frustration grows, it wages on.
I crave my missing dominion.
Are you him? Are you the power I still long?
I’m done with hope, I’m done with dreams,
I’m through with bargaining it seems.
The moment’s lost, my future rests in what redeems.

End this.
I’ll fight and resist.
I’m wasting my time,
Searching for a compromise.
End this.
I cannot resist, no.
Can you not see what you’re making of me?

This emptiness seems bottomless,
how can i see it through?
The light has been replaced,
with the shadow of you.
I'll storm the fire, fend off the beasts,
until our peace comes through.
(Even if it's without you)
A brighter day is followed by a darker night,
make me believe,
make me believe I have a chance,
That i have just one more night...

End This (Featuring Sally Garozzo)

One night you show up.
Thus far one night only.
One night was enough.
To make you a worthy story.
Pushed each others buttons.
We pulled each other’s strings.
And connected among other things.

When will I see you again?
Your fire entices the ash within.
I’m getting high off of your spell.
Could you tell? Could you tell?

Don’t wanna be that guy.
Don’t wanna be an intrusion.
I know you’re comfortable in life.
But spare me all the suspension.
Patience wears thin with time.
Craving you is no crime.
It just you and me exploring our dark side.

When will I see you again?
Your fire entices the ash within.
I’m getting high off of your spell.
Could you tell? Could you tell?
I feel you all over my skin.
Encouraging every cathartic sin.
I wonder if you feel me still.
I can’t tell. I can’t tell.
Could you tell? I can’t tell.

Spell

Music available to buy @ www.asheohara.bandcamp.com

Queer singer/songwriter & aspiring producer. 
In love with my alternative rock, pop, 80's inspired electro & cinematic. 
Please enjoy & thank you for listening.

Aysh

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