I was at a bar
Having a drink or four
If I had more money
I would have had more
A man leaned over, said
I’m in sales and your friend
Is in marketing, but you
What do you do, what do you do?

I said, I have a degree in mass media
But I work in the South End as a barista
And he replied, “y’all are the real MVPs.
I tip every morning when I buy my coffee.”
Do you?
What do you do? What do you do? 

Slake my anxiety with 
Caffeine uppers, whiskey downers
Smile like I mean it 
To designers and rich out-of-towners
This time next year, I could be on the streets
But what am I, I’m not a special piece of meat
What do you do? What do you do? 

Happier here than I ever was in Arkansas
And I feel guilty because I’m not really happy at all.
The worst of it is it’s better that I don’t go home. 
I’d rather destroy myself and die here all alone. 
All my friends think I’m on the up and up
And I’m too stupid to see whether it’s true or not. 
In the end, if I wrote a book or died in the park,
I’m just another name writ in water. 
What do you do? What do you do? 


What Do You Do?

lyrics 

typical maniacal obsessive psychotic girls
typical maniacal obsessive psychotic girls

what did they do to you
that made you go so wrong
we don't believe you 
and your stubborn will
your hatred is just a projection 
of how you feel about yourself.

[chorus]

why won't you talk to them
the psychiatric team
why won't you tell them
your whole life's been a dream
except you can't wake up
the weight just won't lift up
and when you try to sit up
you can no longer breathe. 

[chorus]

what will happen if you lose yourself
will you pull your hair or will you hurt yourself
it's better we keep you alive and burning
for to live is to suffer
and to suffer is learning. 

[chorus 2x]

T.M.O.P.G.

lyrics

my hands tremor, my heart beats
it's bursting out of my chest
but that's okay because i'm still alive
and if i'm still alive
then i'm doing my 
best day's gone, chicago sun, 
my accolades are over and done 
with all my might i pray and fight
like a soldier hidden in the quiet of
nighttime fears, relive the years
24 of them, how many more of them
i can't break there's too much at stake
as i live and breathe this is not my fate
i keep dreaming of a better life
of a better way to exist
but my mind won't let me go
it insists, it persists i obsess 


Soldier

Lyrics
Oh, is it okay to be scared?
When the hurt of the years
has been like blood in a drain...
Oh, do you really get me?
Or do you just see through me?
Am I flesh or object or alien?

Oh, if you're so perfect,
why are you so perfect?
You're like the sun 
after the flood 
that washed me away
to unfamiliar territories
and I'm afraid that if you bore me
I'll let you slip away. 

Oh, if I get hurt this time
I know I'll survive this time
but I'd rather it not happen. 

Wailing About Love

you can't help how you feel when you're down
or when your parents come around
It doesn't really matter what anyone says
you've always been stuck in your own head
you're too clever, you're too smart
you haven't got time to fall apart
yeah you're so clever and you're so smart
you haven't got time to go falling apart
you can't help what you do when you're low
time is real fast but you get real slow
the meds make you tired and they make you sleep
but you're in the hospital for the company
you can't help what you've seen
i wanna undo for you what's always been
we're getting raped
and we're really tired
we're really sick
and the system's conspired
yeah we're getting raped
we have PTSD
we're borderline
we're OCD
yeah we're really tired
yeah we're really tired
we're fighting 4 steps forward
5 steps back
don't step on the cracks
don't step on the cracks
don't step on the cracks
everyone we know is committing suicide
at least they've tried
at least they've tried
and all the little lights are going out
we twist and shout
it's agony now.
we need treatment, we need treatment
not constant commitment, persistent commitment
we need help, not apologies
we need help, not your i'm sorries
and we don't need the insurance companies
somebody do something
somebody do something.


Help

we are two people
stuck in a well
we've lost our ropes 
but oh well, oh well
we have each other, 
our joy and our pain
we have the darkness
and we still have the rain
how'd i get so lucky 
to have you and your bones
how'd i get so lucky to
never be alone
we swallowed each other's pain
below the black surface
it seemed impossible
'cause no one else could touch it
i love you dearly
i love you for life
i'll stay the night
i'll be your wife
how'd i get so lucky 
to have you and your bones
how'd i get so lucky to
never be alone
how'd i get so lucky 
to have you and your bones
how'd i get so lucky to
never be alone

Ashley Loftin's Album

Swallowed Your Pain

there's a lighthouse waiting for me
somewhere beyond the sea
and this light caresses me
as i stand on the shore
and i want more
and i want more
they say there are good days and bad
i've seen the worst i've ever had
but this light keeps holding me
it's winking and blinking
my sovereign beacon
it's winking and blinking
my sovereign beacon
no one can change my mind
my sails are set, i will survive
but i need my light to see
at night the ocean grows dark
and that's when i fall apart
ocean creatures and those on land
water in their ears, head in the sand
they don't know me, but i love them
spinning with me under the sun
and i want more
standing on the shore
there is a distant lighthouse waiting for me