A track from an unreleased Tape Collage For Eloise album where I was experimenting with a more drum-machine, synth and electric guitar oriented sound. probably recorded sometime in early to mid 2010's I'd imagine, using a windows XP PC (that was outdated even then) loaded with an old version of audacity . Pretty sure the instruments used were a Korg Volca Beats, rewired Casiotone MT-65 keyboard, a Yamaha PSR-36 keyboard, and a telecaster guitar

Lyrics:

Tear me up
the blue estate
that you forgot
I was waiting
by the railing
you were rotting away

beyond the perfect summer haze
you were pretending that the dead
remembered dreaming of
their styrofoam mistakes

father these
stupid songs
like they're here
like they walk beside me
round the shallow mere
the stagnant pond

beyond the perfect summer haze
you were pretending that the dead
remembered dreaming of
their styrofoam mistakes

Songs From The Swallowed Sea

Styrofoam

*A slapdash cover of the Yazoo song which became a Christmas number one hit in the UK in 1983 when covered by the a cappella group The Flying Pickets.

Only You

Stone Tape Theory Song

Corridors

Hundred Corpses In An Irrigation Ditch

Nettle Stings

Teenaged Summer Anthem

Saints Be Praised For The Nuclear Winter

Elegy/Absentee

The sad dirty snow outside the window gathers trembling whiteness and the footprints disappear as though nobodies ever been here
Needles climb back up the pine tree that grows in the corner of the room and trinkets fill once empty boxes all patterned and bright and impossible to know
The dead walk backwards through carnival lit houses; plightless, warm and smiling like nobody smiles anymore

Songs Found in Areas of Standing Water

Rewinding Christmases in C

They came like that; in boxes with ribbons and bows
All my feelings buried under the snow
Fade like a memory of childhood shoes
Who'd have thought the first mutant I'd love would be you

So forget me
But Freyia I won't forget you
You broke the world in two
And out poured teeth and words and stars and I was new

Fade like a memory of childhood shoes
Who'd have thought your sweet song could spell my doom
Bring photographs and cassettes to the funeral
And plant them in the frozen soil

So forget me
But Freyia I won't forget you
You broke the world in two
And in fell butterflies and bright blue skies and I was new

Childhood Shoes

That is not me, that is not my heart
That is not the awkward life I strove to pull apart
Follow Michaels voice into the dark
And carefully avoid the eyes of friends you never had

Emaciated men forage in the junk
Try to find just anything to fill their bodies up
A septic plume of cloud, the grey goes on and on
And a rain that's broken children crying all night long

To think I could be right that when you looked in my eyes
There was something there: a self aware assurance of a life
But now the mirror boy just laughs, he is spiteful, he is sad
He is telling me that David's gone and he's not coming back


David is Vanishing

No one even knows that Joan Marie is dead
The snowdrift covered up her gentle form
Darkness finally gone from in her broken head
Promise me you're somewhere safe and warm

No one even cares that Joan Marie is dead
The snowdrift covered up her tiny bones
Darkness finally gone from in her broken head
God I hope you'll stay out of the cold

Goodbye Joan Marie

Had I known it was just a dream at the time I would never have crept up those winding stairs clutching the trunk tight to my chest. I reached the light-room and unlatched the doors, which snapped open in the reckless winds, the ocean there beyond swelling with malice. A salty haze rose from the rocks far below and I lifted the trunk letting its lid fall open and watched as a dozen colourful butterflies uncrumpled and took flight; your old clothes, just for a second and then falling into the sea.

My Heart is Broken For You (A Dozen Colourful Butterflies)

Imperfect perfect
Little fabulous object
Unnervingly nervous
Can't cope on your own

Collapsing building
So tragically soothing
So come on claim him
He's weak and alone

(Exasperated Moses
Pull these constant poses
A magazine baby all dotted in ink)

A little too perfect
Forgotten and worthless
If the ghosts are all dancing
Don't stand on their feet

All pallid and perverted
Contained and deserted
He's no one to blame but himself
Oh well!

Imperfect perfect
Little fabulous object
Unnervingly nervous
Awake and alone


Blame (Tape Collage Version)

There were days at Luke and Catherine's
When the sun would never set
And this acne scarred embarrassment
Could have some meaning yet
When we crept into the night time
And you lit your cigarette
I looked into those bad eyes
And I had some meaning yeah

You, you seemed so young then
I dare not recall

I lay dissected on the slab
They are pulling out my insides
Right before my eyes
And the gory scene I've painted
Has no meaning now
And I am a fool for staring
At things that are long gone
Like the distance makes them better
Then for further things I long
And I look into that mirror
And I can't remember how
I once believed I'd become
Something that would love
Just trying to make them proud


18th Summer

I'll always wait for you
I'll always wait for you
I'll always wait for you

Rose Coloured Insides

These songs are old now though even when they were new they seemed faded and dusty, dressed in cobwebs like cluttered junk forgotten in the corner of some attic. I clearly didn't know what I was doing and that at least hasn't changed.

A Tape Collage For Eloise

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