sequence01

not a god, no savior either

i needed a reason, one to call it for what it is, isn't. if there were ever a time for one - at least i think,
i would have hoped to see you in the wake of a more, tepid ocean. 
one that is far better than the sea
one that will not pull beneath you, the current

one that does not drown you,
rather, it smothers you.
it loves you too, after all.

stay well :)

-alice

If Only Time Wasnt Imploding

oh lovely minds

i made this song maybe 3 years ago, since then i've remastered and mixed it a bit different.

probably still one of my most compelling pieces i've ever written, thinking back to it. i didnt think how it would age, everything was just raw, unfiltered, expression of everything i didnt even know was in me. i dont create much nowadays, im tired most of my days, and i struggle to keep up with the world. despite everything in my mind telling me those horrid thoughts. i have to remind myself, i'm put on the earth for a reason and i think that reason - like everyone, is to just be me. 

thanks for sticking around for all the years, the changes and what not. i appreciate you more than you could ever know, take care <3

-alice

they remind me, i'm me

sometimes i can linger in an awkward state, i think. it's somewhere between the cracks, at the center of the earth. and where the light beams through the fault lines. both are suspended in time, at that. a space so liminal that even my thoughts can stand still. 
it takes a special moment or place even, to do that. 
stand still. 
and i will forever search for that,
a place where i can stand still.
and i hope i can find you there, too.

you can't follow fiction

one of the rougher concepts from the past few months, saving the unfinished project file for a rainy day where i can dedicate some time to flesh it out. 

freshened up some forward facing pages too, like here.
there are quite a few full length projects of mine in the final stages, spanning more than enough time to properly enjoy. hoping to have them find the world sometime soon. 

im writing a novel as well.
my substack is a good idea of the prose & style for it.
hope you find something of mine that you can enjoy. 

im always around,,,,,posting,,,,,
twitter: @ atimetowait 
insta: @ freyathemoon

lover

monolith

recorded and performed 3 years ago, 
happy to be here, thanks
--------------------------------------------------------
'im still trying to shake you off my limbs, at least i can see the marks you left now. am i pretty now? am i fit to your cause? i think my age is starting to show, the notches are carved into my roots. 

and i still call myself a bastard for telling you to go deeper, silly of me, i know. i suppose i have nowhere to go, i will face this. 

you...one step at a time, i am filling my notches in. intricately, weaved with fine thread, taper me away with love.

i know i will linger. i know. i know. i know.'

nowhere to go

hiiiii, somehow this never came quite to fruition.
I enjoy it somehow more scattered. doin well for it 


love 
idk the original date of it all, no questions 

how to fall gracefully

floating is to be suspended in time, perfectly still. 

and i feel as if moving nowadays is similar to unlocking a chasm of doors behind a fragile psyche of mine.
i turn the knobs correctly, i even have the silver key, holding more of me than i'd like to admit.
i even recognize these fragments behind the doors, how could i ever forget?

why did i forget? 
who let me forget?

my mind blatantly becoming the martyr to protect everything that's soft in me did it's job. thank you.

please rest now, please heal. 
i need you now, more than ever.
please. 
we will continue.

-alice

it's like we were kin (reprised)

hey there, 
i was kinda back & forth w/ what i wanted to put in the description. 
most of the times, it's some stylized poem, or prose that i dont think anyone reads, let alone 'understands' - maybe u do, idk

a lot has been weighing on me. these days i worry about my health a lot, im zeroing in on trying to get a hold of my chronic illnesses, and while i chase an 'answer' more. it turns grime, rather fast, through it.

being between: a rather treatable but miserable disease, and or, something sinister manifesting in well, the same...but in the nature of it, being terminal...is rather terrifying, i must admit. 

the illness does more than just weigh me down, which i can take, most of the time. but it finally got to what i think, is the worst of it - seeping into others. maybe im just too 'strong' for it.

im no longer planning marriage, let alone have a life partner to tackle the world, let alone...this, with, anymore at least.

that's shot me for a loop, but i think im okay from it. 
this whole, ordeal too. i'll keep telling myself that, until proven otherwise i think.

fatigue is the better parts of me these days, but i powered through into some strength to get a performance i could feel proud of, the other day.

this is 'that' song/performance. and i hope u like it, thank u too, regardless.
keep in touch on insta: @'atimewaiting'
email me in - atimetowait@gmail.com
read some wordy words at https://substack.com/@atimetowait

and go have a good talk w/ yourself. 
check in to it, 'you' - that is.
love ya for it, be well 
<3

-alice

cannot catch anyone

i'm trying to take things a lot less seriously, and it's working well honestly. there was a weird limbo at the start, but in some ways i'm too tired these days. 
im not sure. maybe that's luxurious in nature.

but i can't play into doom-saying either.
i'd encourage the same for anyone else. i'm not going anywhere, that's for sure
many things to make

i've been purposefully slow, being ill sucks...whatcha gonna do though

be well <3 :) 



it tore through me

*~~“cynicism is obedience”~~*
*~~“cynicism is obedience”~~*
*~~“cynicism is obedience”~~*
*~~“cynicism is obedience”~~*
*~~“cynicism is obedience”~~*

forgot about this, 9 month old thing that got lost to an Abyss. welcome back the lfos

i cannot stop thinking about the flood

i think i mastered this one like 4-5 times, each different bounces. i picked a random one to upload

i hope this one is the 'good' version 
u decide?
love ya

one more shot

5 years ago me and wip made songs, this was the best :)

more soon
! @its.wip

won't ever hold you down w/ wip

update: i have a discord server! feel free to join and hang out with me
discord.gg/hVQZaVdHRv


working on much bigger things. this is just a small song for now. 

thank you for listening, for caring 

it's been rough but this keeps me going, 

music is always free. download if you wish x 


lyrics:
i hate myself 
every night
I’m drowning in apathy and ecstasy of all of these pills that i take every night
i can’t get up 
i can’t wake up 
i can’t be the man that you think i can 
be 
im a waste of space 
pathetic and weak   

what if i said 
this was my last day 
said fuck this life 
and cut my breath
maybe then i could live
maybe then i could be the person i thought i could be

i can't be anything

it's all for you.

as usual, download if you wish. all is free x 

thank you for listening.

lyrics:
and i dont know what you thought we were
a hookup that went wrong
and i dont know where im going
but it's anywhere but here

i want you to know
im not doing well 
i thought of you
it's all for you
i changed the way i thought of you
revolving you 
the sun the moon
and seasons change 
they fall for you

indecisions//decisions

one day
when your eyes burn out, and all that’s left is your blood
i’ll climb inside, like salt on a wound 
burn all that’s inside
burn all that’s you
maybe then we can be 
together 
my dear, is it too soon to say i love you

you and your mind are both really beautiful

i'll suck it up 
because i know boys don't cry

home is a place called you

my ninetales and i

@jaythehutt
@jaythehutt
@jaythehutt
@jaythehutt
@jaythehutt
@jaythehutt

feeling w/ ceecide

huge thanks to will for letting me contribute to this project,
another thanks to justin for the amazing song 
thank you for the memories this song holds with me 

hope you enjoy it

ghosts (prod. will goodwin) (crywolf cover)

you look really pretty in that dress

prod. foxwedding 
shout out brody
@prodbybrody

spotify!!

and everything that makes you whole (feat. brody)

taken from Rudy Francisco - "Love Poem Medley"
thank you
see you soon, 
love.
take care of yourself 
your body is your temple 
i believe in you,
fight.

[WHEN THEY BURIED ME THEY PUT COINS OVER MY EYES]

[they put coins over my eyes]

aporia - crywolf  (will goodwin)

you made my body fuse with yours till i no longer had myself to hold.

a walk, a stroll, whatever it is, it's short lived

i tried calling, you didnt pick up, i was worried that you'd get lost on the way home

drift off and fade away 
night time plays
like we were when we were kids
i loved it then
still love you now
please never come back

runaway

spotify

halo w/ flourysh

literature&music w/ prose
manic dev w/ a heart
lover




atimetowait@gmail.com - for all intents & purpose
https://atimetowait.com
'blog_here_soon.com'
<3

freya langley

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