@prodvixlence I just uploaded one yesterday, lol

struggling with myself
cant feel anything anymore
learn to hate yourself

i cut my friends off
its all i had
i am desperate
for fucking love
i cant take this anymore
i dont wanna live
wont you save me
i wont be saved
unlovable face, unlovable personality deficiency
what the fuck is wrong with me
i dont know
i dont know

i cant see past these lies cause they burn so deep
burn my skin off, this pain is tranquility

hate on myself for good
youll leave once you see my face
i think im ugly
ugly fucking waste of space

living in constant fear
i dont know why im like this
everyone they judge me
judge me for all

learn to hate yourself

lyrics:

remember me by the name
before you set me aflame
i was the one that you blame
the one decided by pain

i have forgotten the taste
of having blood down my face
but you are here and i wish
that you'd bestow me with bliss 

if what we are
is the be all
reason for the suicide
i can be what
you decide
even if im meant to hide

my heart simply wont deny
soul is destined for the sky
theres an angel deep inside
crawling out from this disguise

you contain it
canvas painted
with all of your filthy lies
yet i waited
i can't take it 
why must they avert their eyes?

torture victim

I$EKVI - I Dont Need You [P. Princearmy]

i̸̢̛̛̛͔̬͈̘̲̟̦̮̞̳͉̘̙͍͇̦̲̱͚̞̻̲̲͙͒̔̌̊́͛̓̀͊̍̋͐̐̀̐͋͂̓̂̒́̀̏̽̿̽̋̑͊̍̀̅̃̈́͘̚̕͜͜͜͝͝͝͠͠͝͝ͅņ̸̢̢̢̣̭̥̪̜̩̣̠̳̻̬̞͎͍̮̣̮̯͎͖̜̺̝̙͔͖͕͚̖̩̙͎͋́̇͆͛́̀̓͆̑̅̏̎͘͘ͅ ̶̢͓̺̦̳̦̻͚̩̻̣̗̫̺̰͚̠̰͖͚̭̦̟̟̞͉̯̰͓̖̳̟͓̩̌̐́́̆͊̉̓͂͜t̶̢̧̗̻̫̫̦̠̱̟̓̃͋̄̉̊̾̅̒̒̇̃̍́͆̐͒͆́̽̐́̊̾́̒̓͘̚͘͝͠͠͝͝͠ḩ̷̨̡̧̧̧̟͕̦̥̱̫͉͚̫̹̜͕̘̫͓̠̠̦̩̖̻̘͔͙̞̖͖̪͇͍̖͋͋͑̏̔͗̽͛͆̃͌̎̀̄̂͊̒̊͂͆̚͜͝͠ë̵̡̧̛̦̳̜͓̦̲̹͈̝̗̼̰͇̫͚͉̮̲͈͈̯̣͕̝͕͖̭̖̲̺̰̭̫͚̩̱̯̮̭̞͙̓͐̄͌͒̔͊̍̽̊͋͊̅̍̎͑̍͛̕͘͜͜͜͜͠͝ ̵̢̞̟̜̞͉͉͖̖̦̥̼̼̮̟̯̩͓̹̯̘̈̾͗̎̌͌̑̄̐͂̈́̈͋͒͒̓̔̈̓̍̏́̋̔͌̄͆̈̀͂̀͐̇̕̚̕͝ͅf̷̧̙̫̠̦̬̻͈̺͍̻̙͔́͑̿̽͋̌͂̏͛̋́̇͛̂̓̔̂̔͛̋͊͘̕͝ư̵̧̢̖̙̺̞̩̼̞̭̦͓̞̒̾͌̾̍̋̀̈́̊̈́̑͑̋̍̍̀̃͆̊̋̍̂̔̇̆͠t̸̡̡͚̣͓̟͍͖̖̗̬͈̱͕͙̰͚̹̰̜͍̦̩͈̙̘̳̟̟͙̟͗͒̃̈́̅̐̊̐́̋͌́̔̕͜͝ͅu̴̢̝͓̣̺̫̖͉̼̮̦͚͇̝̥̮̪̗̺͍̰̠̎̂̊̌͋͋̅̈́͛̑͋͆́̔̈́̇̑̈̂͐̎͘͝͝r̷̢̡̡̡̢̹̬̝̻̹͈̺̩̻̳͉̙̼̦͍̮̠͇̬̻͇̮̜͎̭̯̼̹͖̓̽͆͆ͅͅĕ̵̢̼̞̠͎͍̺͚͙̙̥̮̖̼̗̱͚̟̤͊́̀̌̐̐̕͘͠͝ ̵̨̢̛̛̟̝̰̖͓̜̦̟̙̭͔̼̟͔̫͎̤̞̻̟͓̟͉͔͚̽̑̓̂̑̓̄̒̉̋͂́̓͛̓̈̂͒͆̾́̅̅͊̑̍͗̎̉̏͘̚͜͜͠͠͝͝l̶̜͎̹̝͖̘̻͐̔́̓̔̉̈́̅͘̚͝͝į̴̧̛̛͎̰̮̭͕̹͕̘̪̜̥̝̼̯̠̺̟̳͈̟̝̥̹̯̀̀̍͂̄̉̈̈́͋̈́̊͒͂́͋͆̈́̀͐͘͘͠ͅṽ̶̧̢̢̧̛͎̻̯͇̳͚͖̯̙̰͖͍͎̟̫̠̦̩̖̜̺̹̻̬͓̤̟͓̻͉̩̻̦͈̘͚̬̹̺̦̞͖̤̣̖̈̄̀̌̆̇̋̍̀̍̽̈́̆͋̎̾̅̀̅̽̐͒̋̓̒̆̈́͋̈́̏̒̎̓͊̋̓̾̚̚͜͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝ȩ̵̧̡̧̨͇̺̝̘̤̳͍̬̠̱͙̞͉̲͉̭̲̟̲̹̻͇̗̪̗̦͕̣͓̩̫̱̘̩̼̦̘͓͔̀̂̽̆̈́͌̈́͋̄͋͛͋͆͗̋͋͑̐͜͜͝ͅ ̸̨̡̛̠͎̖̗̼̺̝̙͓̑̆̎̀̋̊̈́̊̃̔̎͛̈́͝͝į̶̧̧̡̨̖͎͖͈̱̣͎̤̺̹͕͇̪̝͖̠̟̰̜̘̺͎̗̫̝̹͈͍̪͈̫̺̜̄̒͒͊̏̋͗͑̑̈̀̿͊͊̈́͑̅̋̊̓̓̋̿͑̊̔̒́̐̂͆͊̽̽̚̚͘͜͜͜͠͝͝͠ͅn̶̛͕̙̺̣̘̣̹̰̖̙̗̦̭̫̳̠̺͖̼̏̾͛̈́̐̾͛̃͐͆͊́́͗̓̀̀̋͊͗̂̈́̽̈́̓̈́̅̕͝͠ͅ ̸̡̪͍̲̤̻̠͚̝̣̥̦̣̯͍̪̝̱̹̲͕̟͇͙̣̥͇͓́̿̇̈̈̅͐͂̚ͅͅͅͅ2̷̨̨̨̧̢̧̢̛̱͍̝̭͔̞̰̙̲̗̮͍̯͛͆̈́̏͊̾͆̀́͛̈̎̀̇̈́͂̉̓̎̾͋̅̔̈̈́̉̿͛̌̓̐̒̿̀̋̓͂̂̒̏̕͘̚̚̚͘̚͜͠͝0̶̧̧̢̟͔̟̮̪̯̲̠̦̤̱͓̩̤̰̱͍͕͓̲̄̀̌̃͆̎̑̚͘͝9̸͉̰̟̘͖̮̑̃̔͛̔̀͊͊̈́̉́̐́́͌͛͠9̵̛̼̔̇͂͗̀̃́͋͗̔̉̍̒̿̐̒́̅͛̎̂͐͑̎͘͘͘͝͠͝͠͝.̶̨̱̮͇̖̬̳͉̞̠͖̽̀̈̀͒̾̾̏̿̀͜ͅ.̸̨̛̛̥̤̙̩̮͔͕̤̪̭̣̲̣̪̖̖̠͙̫̫̦̯̪́́̂̊͌̐̾̄͆̌͂̈́͆̇̓̀̒̑̓͊́̌̐̇̈͗̾͐͗͐͐̋̂͘̕̕͠͠͝͝͝͝.̶̧̨͔̥̩̠̤̥̗̲͖̻̏̇̐͛͆̄͒́̈͌̾̏͛̽͒̒̈́̊̈́̆͛̈̓̊͋̀͋̋͂͛̂́̊̔̆̌̃̌͐̃̚̚͘͝͠͠ͅ

2099 🕷[PROD. JESSE]

i have no reason to fight anymore

its my 18th birthday today. 
made this in 5 hours after getting out of the icu a week ago

produced by me
guitar solo by me
recorded/mixed/mastered by me

lyrics:

Oh
What have I done?
Where do I go?
Bullet in lung?
Oh way too young
What have I done?
Didn’t wanna run
Now it’s all gone
Isn’t life wonderful?
(Isn’t life wonderful!?)

And I hate to fall to the war with self,
Man control yo self
Always looking for something to be wrong even when there’s no goddamn problem at all 
“Oh keep pushing through brother, you might as well deal with the pain, you’ll just get stronger anyway, It’s gonna be okay”
Well sure, then fuck this game me and countless others playing, 
Well, why don’t you stitch me up crochet?
And I have all these scars to say things like how I got em, 
“How the fuck did you breathe?” 
Oh bro, I didn't bother
Breathing was venting and I never just let myself be fucking fostered
That’s why I struggled with the fucking mental doctor
Too stubborn for therapy and 
I’ve been the same weight for four years with a fear to eat, not supply. 
Weigh 125 (LBS)
And I might take some amphetamines just to give me a better reason to say that I need help, ugh

Oh
What have I done?
Where do I go?
Bullet in lung?
Oh, way too young
What have I done?
Didn’t wanna run
Now it’s all gone
Isn’t life wonderful?

“911, what’s your emergency?”
Agh, agh,
“Oh I feel like I’m gonna fucking hurt myself!”
“Calm down sir it’s gonna be okay,”
It’s gonna be okay!?
No it’s fucking not
Cops take me to the fucking ICU
Now I rot on top of a fucking hospital bed
While you just fucking living not knowing what I’ve almost done
And you wont know

You wont ever know
But why’d I make it this far to throw away all I sewed?
“Oh he was packed with talent”
Oh, but you don't get it though 
Being good at something comes with a malice-filled price 
You either give and you get and/or you give and you're met with the in-equal shares of bets you cant even make with yourself,
Cant wait to say fuck it and just off myself
Don't want attention but this a fucking cry for help

Oh
What have I done?
Where do I go? 
Bullet in lung?
Oh way too young
What have I done?
Didn’t wanna run
Now it’s all gone
Isn’t life wonderful?
(What have I done?)

ISNT LIFE WONDERFUL?!?
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
WHERE DO I GO?
I DON’T KNOW
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
HELP!
ISN’T-ISN’T LIFE-ISN’T LIFE WONDERFUL?!?

lava- narcissist (ft. eloimmeth) [atrxphy flip]

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