I had this melody stuck in my head last night and had to get it out. It definitely conjures up images of a rain soaked battle field for me. Something with grizzled warriors in armor...

A Warriors Dream

Just in time for the holidays, when everyone is making a mad dash for something that ultimately may not be as important as they may think.

Running Out Of Time

This melody popped into my head the other night and when I sat down to try and get it out, it transformed into something entirely different. I got to explore a lot of new things in this that I haven't tried before, which was really fun. Word of caution: Prepare to be rocked extremely hard when listening to this.

sample by Dpoggioli used.

Fever Dreams

A little over a year ago I was going through one of the darkest and hardest times of my life. One particular day a song came into my head and when I went to make it, I found it to be the most physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting songs I've ever composed. It felt like I was extracting some kind of poison from me as I created it.  As soon as I finished it I was in a bit of a daze and the following weeks after that I saw that I was getting better. I wouldn't say this one song completely healed me, but it certainly helped. That and the constant love and support from my friends and family. 

I'm releasing it because until now I was scared to show it to the public. It's one of the more revealing things I've done. There's a lot of me in it. But it feels like it's time to get it out there. I'm at a place where the emotions associated with this song are far enough in the past, and I'm wanting to take more artistic risks in the future.

Healing

"I think I am beginning to understand why grief feels like suspense. It comes from the frustration of so many impulses that had become habitual. Thought after thought, feeling after feeling, action after action, had H. for their object. Now their target is gone. I keep on through habit fitting an arrow to the string, then I remember and have to lay the bow down. So many roads lead thought to H. I set out on one of them. But now there's an impassable frontierpost across it. So many roads once; now so many cul de sacs."

- C.S. Lewis, from A Grief Observed

Black And White

Sorry I'm here
Your words were clear
Vows broke I fear
Sorry I'm here

Don't say those words
Don't sound absurd
Let me be heard
Don't say those words

Remember when
We were best friends
It had to end
Remember when

Hard to let go what I had no
right to take, it's my mistake
I'm sorry I'm here

Lost another part of my soul
Loving you was impossible
Sorry I'm here

Sorry I'm Here

White noise fills my head
and I try to bury it

Memories won't stay dead
I try to bury it

My gut ties to knots
and I try to bury it

Lost control of my thoughts
I have to bury it

My rage takes it's toll
and dares me to bury it

Bury it

Bury It

Distractions

Draw a line in the sand
Show me where you stand
This was never the plan
But you've gone and shown your hand

The players of war have been chosen
The tattered banners have been hung
I can hear the war drums beating in my head
When will my justice come?

Our lives soldier on
No one feels they've won
Where did we go wrong
It's darkest before the dawn

The players of war have been chosen
The tattered banners have been hung
I can hear the war drums beating in my head
When will my justice come?

Line In The Sand

This was originally inspired by Phillip Glass motifs that would not get out of my head. There was a couple of days when I could hear nothing else. So in an attempt to exorcise it I made this. Along the way it definitely got influenced by the Zimmer monster.

I'd love to hear what kind of things you imagine while listening to this. Let me know!

austinhillawhat