Originally written by La Dispute
Performance + Production by Autumnboy
Mastered by Joe Booley

Lyrics: 
I think I saw you in my sleep, darling
I think I saw you in my dreams
You were stitching up the seams
On every broken promise
That your body couldn't keep
I think I saw you in my sleep

I think I saw you in my sleep darling
I think I saw you in my dreams
You were stitching up the seams
On every broken promise
That your body couldn't keep
I think I saw you in my sleep

I thought I heard the door open, oh no
I thought I heard the door open
But I only heard it close
I thought I heard a plane crashing
But now I think it was your passion snapping

I think you saw me confronting my fear
It went up with a bottle and went down with the beer
And I think you ought to stay away from here
There are ghosts in the walls
And they crawl in your head through your ear

I think I saw you in my sleep, lover
I think I saw you in my dreams
You were stitching up the seams
On every mangled promise
That your body couldn't keep
I think I saw you in my sleep

Such Small Hands

Prod. Realmskip

A really old demo me and Realmskip wrote for fun a decade ago. 

Lyrics:

I must become bolder, my lacklustre soldering just aint the same as it used to be. 
But I am the holder of The Black Lustre Soldier. Dang, oh my gosh… oh how I wish I was older. 

Nothing matters. 

So wheres your faith? Locked in a cage with an infinite rage that you’ll never be as high as the moon. Well guess what!? I’m as high as the sun, and I found out the world ain’t much fun. 

Climbing the ladder, looking swaggy and badder.
Nothing matters, sinking sadder and sadder. 

Nothing matters. 

You’re covered in black paint. 
You’re covered in lies.
I’m covered in holy water. 
Whatever the method, just open your eyes. 

Nothing matters.

An Optimists Problem List (Demo)

"Growing past the teenage angst, I find myself still trying to be something people would like to see. 

Its terrible.

Growing up the past three years, I know that I know better. Than to let the view from someones eyes, define the way that I see me.

Its terrible."

Check out the music video: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2mBKQHWVgs

Credit to Idy Mirza for the trumpet parts.

Terrible ☾

I find myself lost in the background of everything that really matters. 

I don't want to lose you. 

Lower Feel

I find this fear to be crippling. 

I wanna burn, I just don't wanna burn out. Don't step on my own toes. 

I wanna be realistic, but I don't wanna be imperfect. And if I hold onto you now I know its gonna be worth it. 

And every prayer that I can muster seems to be riddled with puddles of anxiety. For some reason I struggle to believe it when I tell myself you're close to me. But you are the most of me, so why do I find fear in serving the least of these? 

There is an irony that perplexes me and an irony that surrounds me and it is this: I'm so afraid of failure that I'll dwell inside it constantly. Like my passions don't matter to me and I don't match my morality. This isn't the way I wanna be. This isn't the way I'm supposed to be. 

So Father God please let me remember to be the man that I am supposed to be. Father God let me burn but not burn, knowing you are the strength of me. Father God I know that your past blessings flow in abundance further that what my eyes can see so Father God why do I doubt that there will be any change in me? 

Kill Yourself, Become The Sky

Track #6 of 'Ghost of a Broken Record'.

Written by Autumnboy + HXVNTED
Produced by Realmskip

Lyrics:

'I'm struggling again, not recovering again. I thought that these endeavours were a means to an end but I'm sore, and I'm torn. Same four walls, same problems, different friends. 

These addictions have got the best of me, wether its smoke in my lungs or fake intimacy. Now I'm living in the ghost of a broken record, forever I've been haunted by these same repeated words: 

"You know you've ruined everything? Your blackened heart is seeping in. 
You know you've ruined everything? To everyone thats let you in." 

I hope the needle stops some day. I hope these thoughts will stop some day. I hope the needle stops some day. I hope these thoughts will stop. 

"Start bleeding from the wrists again." 
The blood has never left my skin. 
"The smoke has filled your lungs again." 
Yet I will never cease to sing. 
"You can't escape addictive sin." 
I'll never let these demons win. 
"You know you've ruined everything?" 
I am a child of the king. 

I am a child of the king.'

Ghost of a Broken Record (feat. HXVNTED)

I love you all so much. Thank you for supporting me. I'll see you soon.

Music and lyrics: Autumnboy
Audio production and mixing: Realmskip
Album artwork: Realmskip + Nolan Danvers

Lyrics:

Do you ever feel worthless? Do you ever feel out of place? Like even on the best days, you've somehow lost your way? 'Cause even when I know the truth I still stray far away, and even when I trust in you these voices don't seem to fade.

If I hold myself together while I'm falling apart will you still see the truth in me? If I keep the smoke from my lungs and the blade from my wrist will you still see the change he's made in me? I know I'm doing this all wrong and its insulting, this isolation. Another glimpse of this anxious, jaded recluse. The man I've been, the man I run away from. 

I'm not worthless, I'm getting better.

Worthless

I've been drinking cold brew and walking so much that I've got holes in my shoes
Sometimes I get lost, you know that I do
Show me what really matters

The summer is gone, sometimes I get so cold 
The summer is gone, my way of life has become so old

Maybe I should drink something warm

Well I started drinking coffee at 15, and back then drinks meant taste not temperature, vibes not consistency, and convenience not necessity
But we're not talking about coffee anymore are we
Did I start drinking it because I liked the taste or because it sounded cool in a song I heard 
Oh man how I wanted to be cool, like the all of the guys in the songs that I heard 
I'd be lying if I said that boy still doesn't live inside but what resides is less of a dark side filled with loveless cries, I am changing 
The leaves are crinkling and falling off the tress. The colours change, I am changing 
I can feel the breeze and with a shiver I whisper I am in love. I am in love with changing 
I am in love with the idea of growth, but an idea never pulled me out of bed by my ankles and put my hands together
Oh no I need to go, father and father than ever before
Ignore the doubt, smash down the doors and shout I am a new man and I heat my drinks. 
Cause it's not summer any more and I think that otherwise I might catch a cold

I've been drinking cold brew and walking so much that I've got holes in my shoes
Sometimes I get lost, you know that I do
Show me what really matters

Show me what really matters
Show me
Show me
Show me
Show me
Show me
Show me
Show me what really matters

Maybe I should drink something warm, show me what really matters
Maybe I should drink something warm, show me what really matters
Maybe I should drink something warm, show me what really matters
Maybe I should drink something warm

Autumnboy

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