hey, thx 4 listening, seriously.
this is the first song i've mixed completely from scratch,
so i hope it doesn't sound too foul </3
prod. @prodskellington <3
cover art sketch by @bleulmao

~~~lyrics~~~
a minute away
i’m gonna fade
back into the nothing
shit what do you say
fear to be fake
look at my face
fucking disgusting
throughout the day

i can’t talk if i can’t even breathe out
she seems off there’s gotta be a reason
raindrops fall everywhere i don’t need it
think this calls for the death of a weakness

check, check, check,
troubled mind, covered ears
less, less, less, chitter-chat full of tears
let’s, let’s, let’s, get the fuck outta here
can’t afford being gone
but i’ve lost will to care again

the cycle ends
what’s the point in this
low love, slow thumbs, so numb

winter crept upon my hands
and all i am’s ideas through a screen
is it true that you were never meant to be?

troubled mind, covered ears [prod. skellington]

Biteki AMV: https://youtu.be/aMOX-qUEWMw
prod. farber
this 1 been in the works for a while 🖤
i hope some of you find relation & or clarity.
ft. @user-411557229

[autumn]
so seems you took away my breath
feels a little off where do i begin 
like oh~
why’d i get so bent 
starting to believe that i’m a bit obsessed
like oh~

cause i’ve always really wanted space
now i just wanna see your face
(see your face)

girl i want this bad
i told you that
i’m not just sad
my world’s been plaid

hello?
praying you’d pick up the phone 
how’d it go?
being on your god damn own

so seems you took away my breath
feels a little off where do i begin 
like oh~
why’d i get so bent 
starting to believe that i’m a bit obsessed
like oh~

[not home.]
they wanna be me
she gonna leave me
for somebody new
off of the shrooms
cold in my room 
lost in the ceiling
look at the moon

[autumn & not home.] 
(2x)
look at my face when you’re talking
(when you’re talking)
i get bored so i smoke now i’m coughing
(bitch i’m coughing)
all the friends at the house 
now i’m yawning
(what the fuck bitch)
they be chasing all the
shit up in my pockets

obsessed w/ not home. [prod. farber]

there's not much to say besides that i hope this song heals
whoever's soul is in need of it, because mine sure as hell is lmfao
prod. @splashgvng

~~~lyrics~~~

4x
(so wrong)
4x
(so i’ll rot)

wake up everything stays 
the way that it was
so angry, yet so numb
it was more than words that stung 
tell me, what have you done?
something might have begun 
i’m ready to move on
quit telling me to be strong
aren’t i more than you want?
all you put is a front
weight on my chest; got a ton
“i’ll care about what i want”
doesn’t it mean that we’re done?

i will crawl throughout fall
you’re so disgusting, trust me oh
want, want, don’t know what i want
legs were bloody, and so were her palms

i’ll say it again
you never meant 
swore you’d get better 
you fucked with my head
caught in the red 
but it doesn’t matter; 
the factors of how i express 
distance how could i miss it
i’m an example of agony shut up and listen
4 in the morning alone in the kitchen 
constantly mourning the 
thought of existence 

something might have begun 
i’m ready to move on
quit telling me to be strong
aren’t i more than you want?
all you put is a front
weight on my chest; got a ton
“i’ll care about what i want”
doesn’t it mean that we’re done?

(2x)
done
(4x)
yeah we’re done
(yeah we’re done)

her palms [prod. splashgvng]

amv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LT7FyConbo
thank you all for the amazing support just in general.
love you all. take care
featuring my extremely talented friend @sleepywater 💙
prod. @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~
[autumn]
you ok?..

so i tell myself
don't die on me
don't lie to me

i lie here, ask how i'm doing
words out my mouth 
is it trash that i'm spewing?
i deserve hell for every wrongdoing
you sewed up my heart
just after i skewed it

hate when anybody talk to me
there's not a lot to me
i'm just distraught and weak
there's so much to do in the day (day)
what do i have to do to make you stay (stay)

how does this world expect me to keep going
when all that i have are depleting emotions
and all that i am is pathetic and hopeless
and all that i ask, and all that i ask is to leave

i'm begging please
i'm falling down
whenever you leave
don't make a sound
don't even breathe
i finished counting all my steps
a cliff they lead

[sleepwater]
i'll be ready, drowning
heart beat too fast; anxiety
in my hollow frame
lost cause, puppet brain

spewing my heart 
over a fire; got dark
will you be my ember 
stuck in a cauldron
do you remember when i was holding
your achy arms i was all upon it
you got my clothes but 
you could of stopped it
sorry for the vacancy i wish i locked
it was a fucking job to you 
i wish i stopped it

[autumn]
lawless; aching doesn't stop
isn't this what i wanted from you
i'm so awful

[sleepwater]
don't make a sound, don't make a scene
filling my lungs with nicotine 
oh damn ur the one that i'll ever need
damn ur the one that just let me be

[autumn]
(let me be)
don't really know why you like me
are you just starving
for someone's pysche?
i can hear the hounds
yeah they're howling in the darkness
wonder what they found
either molly or a carcass

[sleepwater]
im prowling in the twilight
everything you say now its a delight
maybe ur an angel in disguise 
fucking up my psyche, cutting all my ties

[autumn]
i cannot talk for long
there's somewhere i gotta be
the green of the forest it calls
yeah i got a date with the-
i got a date with the trees

tell me who i am
and who i'm supposed to be
won't be here for long
bitemarks made with teeth
the frostwalker it crawls
arriving at your feet
let it rest beneath...

puppet brain w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

went for something different.
made this with the intention to expand my creativity as an artist
and the hopes to understand myself more as a person.
hope you enjoy :')
prod. @branwenmusic & @rvrhiv 🖤
cover art done by @akanenosketch

~~lyrics~~
(i got these daggers in my spine)
(they come right at me from the skies)
(just tell me why, why)

knowing that you’re safe
could you save me from this bad dream
know it’s kinda late
girl i’m sorry that i’m asking
glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat  
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within
until i meet an end
do you understand?

go into a rage 
when i see you in my sight
everyone the same 
and i always wonder why
tell me what it takes
just for you to stay mine

swear i’m fucking sick
everyone’s a prick 
running fucking swift
don’t ever stop, won’t ever quit
eh i was a mistake
in this world; why do i stay?
no, seriously.
THIS SHIT SUCKS!!!

hush…

glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat 
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within

i’m rotting from within!
i should probably go
there's blood under the snow 
infinity below
i hear the echoes of bellows

aren’t you just happy for me
i wanna be someone else
stuck inside a catacomb
it’s like my own personal hell 
just give me the signal 
and i’ll try to book it outta here
it’s not that i’m terrified
this is just how i look my dear 

i got these daggers in my spine
they started raining from the sky
i didn’t make it home in time
within your arms is where i lie

i rot, everything’s stupid 
i want you, but i’m useless
time’s not real, we are lucid 
i’m just, gonna lose it all


glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat 
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within
until i meet an end 
do you understand?…

infinity below [prod. branwen x rvrhiv]

hope you guys like this one, personal song n whtvr. love you guys sm. 
ty 4 the ongoing support with just everything.
i appreciate it more than meets the eye
prod. @sorrow_bringer 🖤


~~lyrics~~
fuck where’s the trust
leading lust, between us 
heating up, on the cusp 
self-destruct, blowing up
into dust
i wanna fall
(don't wanna fall)
into my own hellish spiral

fuck, gotta suffocate
just another day where i can’t breathe
out my airways
but, that’s what it takes
drowning in the sound of yourself
tryna climb the stairways

fate isn’t funny i could be dead
blow my brains out my fucking head
was it worth every second bled?
are you happy with yourself again?

co-depend, don’t forget
that i’m fucked up in the head
leavings cuts cause i’m not enough
and you won’t believe a single thing i said

i got too much on my plate
so i just puke it up & regurgitate
i do not fuck with the fate
pushing away the people
that would try to relate

trust my spirit
(where is the trust?!)
do you hear it now?
(i’m not enough)
it hurts falling down
just let me drown

fuck, gotta suffocate
just another day where i can’t breathe
out my airways
but, that’s what it takes
drowning in the sound of yourself
tryna climb the stairways

fate isn’t funny i could be dead
blew my brains out my fucking head
was it worth every second bled?
are you happy with yourself again?

i know what i’m doing, i know what i did
what i would give to go back to a kid
selfishness underneath my skin
to begin again, i would have to end
i’m a letdown, fight it off
hellbound, so fucking lost
count down, until i’m gone
ultimately i’m not what you want

(3x)
not what you want
(yeah…)

hellish spirals [prod. sorrowbringer]

w/ @sleepywater <3
prod @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~

easy to target
swear i’ve been honest
i’m still tryna rejuvenate
from the memories last august
ink drip from the ceiling
familiar feelings
to take time is to realize
what it really means to be healing

knees go numb when i reach for the shelf
there’s an old song that speaks of myself
but i’ve lost it; my subconscious 
won’t take away this blockage
it’s irritating; the way i hate it
all you are is full of nonsense

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

i’m unfair & i know it
frustration; i bestow it
i’m shaking baby, yeah i’m aching,
maybe this is punishment for the broken
the sight that i see through my eye 
isn’t blind
a sigh of relief comforted by a lie
i can’t really take it, 
the pace that i’m making is 
turning me into the me i despise

fuck, i'll turn my back on ur ass & won't
 give it a thought or the time of the day
it doesn't matter, the wounds & the plaster are begging me
“autumn, you just gotta change”
if i go any faster, my body will splatter
 yet i'll be alive, put me outta the pain 
i pick up the fragments of me that just happen
to still be in tact, even after the rain

everything i spew out
i tell the same story
bout how you don't want me
never ever want me
how comes ur all up on me
i pull u, you don’t pull me
im stressed out, can't relax
another pill, i might relapse

i just don’t get it how this life
taught revenge and left me behind
no time to cry…
cause in the end you’ll be fine

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

wounds & plaster w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

prod. @afterlife66
cover art drawn by @wolfff_art <3

i get that it's all my fault
i should've never called..

my bones are melting, again
(again)
so guilty; i'm better than that
(better than that)

thread caught in us all
you're not in control
& i'm just a soul
for the manufacturing of an end that was meant
another casualty but without the consent

and all my life, been feeling scorn
i've tried to hide,
but these feelings tore up my insides
and left nothing more
than pitiful lies; tangled wires and cords

now why did i think that was okay?
remembered that moment was so vague

turning, learning; does it matter?
undeserving; losing stature, oh
swear i'm hurting, breath is flatter
"just desert me, leave me shattered"

guilt every night, and i can't move 
on when she's right by
& she fucking hates me, 
but it's alright, 
in some way, there's no way...
THIS ISN'T RIGHT

my bones are melting, again
(again)
so guilty; i'm better than that
(better than that)
better than that
(better than that)

i don't wanna make it out alive
it's a part of life, i'm sorry that i lied
there isn't excuses for the way i treated this
i'm just a vessel losing grip

(4x)
grip, grip, grip
losing

i'm craving my last breath
when i change it'll be for the best
but nobody'll fucking believe me anymore
for everything i said and did
like are you fucking deaf???
i feel your resent...

vessel [prod. afterlife]

@sorrow_bringer 🖤
mixed & mastered by me 💛
[Audio Sample from King's Game]
~~lyrics~~
it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
sugar in the spice
fuck i'm outta luck

it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
everybody want a chance 
but they stay fucking up
ion wanna talk
think i've had enough
i'm staring at the knife 
like it wants in my gut

sugar in the spice
fuck i'm outta luck
but i never went in 
cause it wouldn't be enough
colder than the night
wonder if your touch
feels a saint from above throwing up
from above throwing up

hoping i heal, but i'm proof of the damage
everyone i kill's either hungry or manic
refuse any pills that i'm offered, then panic
if i'm really real, would you feel if i vanish?
let's trace back to the start
i ain't got no time here to waste on my heart
if i wanted peace, i believe i would be "anybody"
can't feel defeat when i'm coated in honey

permanently flawed; let me get my head straight
living at the cost; on the brink of being dead weight
no headspace, just silence.
what do you expect when the sky's blaring sirens?
but i knew the consequences all along
i used too much strength tryna grow stronger
the rapture, and endless disaster

take me by the head 
(okay)
leave no evidence 
(nor trace)

the moon is turning red
the air is so condensed 
simple lives and foolish lies
i raise a knife up to my eye
if one should seek, then one shall find
but what if i've already died?

it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
everybody want a chance 
but they stay fucking up
ion wanna talk
think i've had enough
i'm staring at the knife
like it wants in my gut

sugar in the spice
fuck i'm outta luck
but i never went in 
cause it wouldn't be enough
colder than the night
wonder if your touch
feels a saint from above throwing up
from above throwing up

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬...
𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦?
𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦... 𝘢 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦,
𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?

it'd be hella nice
if i knew what i want
everybody want a chance 
but they stay fucking up
ion wanna talk
think i've had enough
i'm staring at the knife 
like it wants in my gut
like it wants in my gut...

sugar in the spice (sorrow bringer)

AMV 💜: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC996g3VWGc
one of two songs released under @bitekivibes <3
prod. @sorrow_bringer & @boyfifty

s/o to my friend @kittiyu 
for getting the cover art done on such short notice 

i should leave her cause i’m always grey
watch a second turn to minutes
now the crowd fades away
i’m a little fucking prick
leprosy all up in my brain
everyone is so pathetic
but so am i so i break fate

you stay vague, make way
i speak to me in tongues
and watch while they play
i swear i try my best to open doors
i’m afraid it’s far too late
to be the way i was before
(way i was before)

the ruckus of the press
corrupted everyone around me
is there anybody left to tape
my mouth when i am shouting
why’s it always cloudy?
what’s the point in doubting?
i’m stuck up & fucked up
my head’s always drowsy

let’s fill the lies with glue
so they’re stuck on track
if i knew what i know now, would it be bad?
i could tell by the way
she would hold me back
i could tell by the way
i had to hold my breath

eh i can’t seem to break the silence
so i decide to lie beside it
coincide with all the violence

and i admit it...
that i’m so fucking garbage
but i wouldn’t ever want you back

i should leave her cause i’m always grey
watch a second turn to minutes
now the crowd fades away
i’m a little fucking prick
leprosy all up in my brain
everyone is so pathetic
but so am i so i break fate

you stay vague, make way
i speak to me in tongues
and watch while they play
i swear i try my best to open doors
i’m afraid it’s far too late
to be the way i was before
(way i was before)

body’s shaking
head is split and torn
the fall felt weightless
you’re all i adore
adore... (3x)
you’re all i adore…

leprosy [sorrow bringer x boyfifty]

https://open.spotify.com/track/47m9QOCl9GBaznSaAELQIJ?si=bb470e6ea22a4041

mix master n all that by me
cover art sketch drawn by @punimonnn 
tysm 4 listening, hope u enjoy 
this song means a lot to me
show some love to the goat  @012207 who popped tf off on the prod <3

(2x)
i said i gotchu, don't you worry
shit ain't ever gonna happen
till my heart; it filled with fury
now i'm losing all attraction
don't wanna live inside the past-tense (past tense)
but i'm way too weak for taking action

everyone wanna party
while i can barely stand; fucking hardly
pack up my shit and just move on
treating myself like a nuisance
counting the days i've been awake
even in my dreams, i can't catch a break
"how many followers does it?!"
never enough, you fuckers are fake

i'm on ice, catchin' colds
in the night, crackin' codes
hold me tight; never leave
but it's nice being lone
laying low every week
in a hope that i peak
how your soul stayin' content
when the feelings never leave?

ion go outside
i'll just get another migraine
head and heart collide;
i guess that i'm a lightweight
blame it on bad timing
chakras ain't aligning
every step; i love me less
how long have i been crying?

four years; still despise me
took a lot to come out of hiding
took a lot right outta my psyche
but i'm putting all that shit behind me
this story's mine for the taking
i woke up, hands shaking
doing my best to face this
why can't i just erase it?

i said i gotchu, don't you worry
shit ain't ever gonna happen
till my heart; it filled with fury
now i'm losing all attraction
don't wanna live inside the past-tense (past tense)
but i'm way too weak for taking action

evil dances on my spine
twists of fate prove i'll be fine
i miss my sanctuary
find my sky like aviaries

(2x)
i'll re-find just another sunken hole in the ground
maybe then i'd rewrite
the pages that are scattered all around me

i said i gotchu, don't you worry
shit ain't ever gonna happen
till my heart; it filled with fury
now i'm losing all attraction
don't wanna live inside the past-tense (past tense)
but i'm way too weak for taking action

i-i-i
miss my- miss
w-weary
my sky like aviaries

attraction [prod. baz]

hope you enjoy, or something <3 :")
prod. @user-230494921 <3

𝘪 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵.
𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦, 
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦.

(2x)
down on all fours, like a dog speakin' prayers
if i miss a call, it was on purpose, i swear
yellow-tainted teeth biting down into my hair
if i'm meaning what i preach
would my god even care?

she said i'm "hella right"
everything i say past three is hella right
and the night time 
welcomes me with open arms to tight bind
bright lights; everybody trusts it
i don't trust it at all
i'm terrified right now
wish i could give you a call :(

i overthink and scrap everything
i'm trapped behind these bars
that you could never see
a majority of the time
i'm disgusted by the industry
but if it's okay with you
then it's okay with me aswell

as the essence surrounds me 
and corrupts my soul
what a blinding gaze
i wish i could break it's hold
as i'm marching through a land
that is unknownst to me
i've only seen it inside of my dreams

(2x)
down on all fours, like a dog speakin' prayers
if i miss a call, it was on purpose, i swear
yellow-tainted teeth biting down into my hair
if i'm meaning what i preach
would my god even care?

purple fingers
makes these feelings linger
been staring into empty space
for way too long
caught up on what is "right"
and what is "wrong"

i thought about her
again, last night
again (3x)
last night

these thoughts give me dopa- 
dopamine
as long as i believe they're real

it always comes back to this...

would my god even care [prod. 4lexf]

enjoy; haven't done something like this in a while
prod. @isitmalloy & @sorrow_bringer <3

got tripwire hooks where i'm standing
they taunt me cause i'm too outlandish
i'll scorch their skin like a god damn dragon
they ask me "autie, how the fuck do you manage"

told me i reap what i sow
i ain't do shit; i'm on the go
so many people i don't even know
wishing me well; i just wanna compose
write me a eulogy, be sure to show
all that i overcame way down the road
you wouldn't believe it 
coming from the mouth of the one 
who's already been disposed

it's like i'm not here
and i can't take it
i'll set off a flare on my tongue
till i'm breaking
and she don't hit up my line, but i get it
we're one in the same
i love isolation
i'm living in a masquerade 
my mind had mutated from it's radiation
i know me best when it hits dusk
but then i'm falling off by dawn
this patience forsaken me; heartless and gone
so i stay prolongued
well, more-so i'm stunned
this madness that was casted
i honestly love.

got tripwire hooks where i'm standing
they taunt me cause i'm too outlandish
i'll scorch their skin like a god damn dragon
they ask me "autie, how the fuck do you manage"

hate in my veins
i do not self-proclaim
bit the metal in my mouth
i'm pouring red right outta my face
empty tank, but i'm up
i'm exhausted and i rank
for every fodder, it's our father 
that'll grant you heavy rain

it's too calm
for such an uneventful evening
my stomach's in the corner teething
scold me as my breath's depleting

i guess that you ain't understand the first time
i ain't gonna run it back, there's way too many landmines
i'm numbing to nostalgia
that's the only thing that's kept me in a safe space
I'M SICK OF FEELING STUCK INSIDE THE SAME PLACE

got tripwire hooks where i'm standing
they taunt me cause i'm too outlandish
i'll scorch their skin like a god damn dragon
they ask me "autie, how the fuck do you manage"

this is not where i belong
there's piranhas in the pond
pawn-
pawn-
pawn-paw-paw-p-p-p-

fuck
i need a challenger
i'm up so early, i'm my own manager
even if my name is someone's you haven't heard
they'd still wanna 
rip me out of the fucking earth
these scissors and wine are combining
shut the fuck up
let me get back to dining
the taste of acceptance is oh so refreshing
when mixed in with vengeance
old habits are tempting

they ask me, "autie, how the the fuck do you manage?.."

pawn [prod. malloy x sorrow bringer]

prod @sorrow_bringer
cover art by wolfff_art

 it really does kill me that i'm not able to showcase what i create/put out how i want it to be, but the piece itself matters the most to me. hopefully one day i'll be able to put together like a music video/lyric for a majority of what i put out, but for now, this is all i got. thank you so much for supporting me and music to this point. i really, really appreciate it. more than just that. this is everything to me. thank you for listening. <3

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

brass knuckles mounted on my fists
sweat n grease; let it drip
like a typhlosion, my body is molten
i will not let opportunity slip
it's all for the kid, that i had been
i fucking miss him, but i shouldn't let
adolescence turn to codependence
just how in the fuck did we grow up to this

i'm sorry if you don't like my voice
cause i don't either, i do not have a choice
i take a break for a couple days
then i come back, just to fill the void
i'm so annoyed by every noise
and a breath away from breathing poison
a leap of faith isn't what i'd take
just freefall into clairvoyance

i don't keep track of the shit i accomplish
trying my best to avoid being pompous
now the weight of the world's being pushed on the girl who had given me hope
for the things i had wanted
ain't that some bullshit
honesty lies in between the cracks
of what we deem that is evil
but we can't live without it
can't live without it

oh, it feels like i stall time
when i submerge myself in a foreign pathogen
all feels well, till i cross that path again
flicker the blood off your hands into mine
what an orthodox method of covering crime
i just wanna cry
she just wanna crash
just leave me behind
there's no going back

but, what if i fuck this up again
would you be my only friend
my mentality's kicking the bin
cause honesty lies within sin
with every thought, grows ornery tension
every night i'm a loss, and i'm building retention
stars don't cross if you don't pay attention
my tears don't drop if they're not worth a mention
you cannot feel what i feel.
she's probably not even real
i'm probably not even real
so i'm going in for the kill

i'd fuck off if you'd just ask me
but everybody else just stands there, laughing
i really thought this through
yeah, it's you
something bout the way you stab me
then patch up the wounds
kinda like it never happened

did it ever happen..

retention [prod. sorrow bringer]

【﻿ｏｎｅ　ｄａｙ　ｔｈｅｙ＇ｌｌ　ｈｅａｒ　ｍｅ　ｏｕｔ】



prod. @jeweler737
thank you so much for listening.
thank you for being here.
x

i won't get this right
i never do
just another night,
where i think of you
and i know it's hard to cover all that spite
i do it really well, with a dulled knife
mom i'm sorry if you hear this
i never wanna speak up on how i'm really feeling
i know that you fear it; me leaving this planet
but i want to every moment
i've been caught in my own headlights
they're too blind to notice
turned to my own hand, in search of an answer
but all i receive are emotion enhancers
i've been down like forever
as far as i can possibly remember
(so dismembered)
i wouldn't wanna hurt an ant,
but i'm so selfish
i just can't help it
and i'm so sorry, i'm just not sober
here comes october
i'm getting older
just another disorder, that i didn't order
goodbye sweet child
i no longer can hold you
i don't even know you
here come's the morning
i'm one step closer
maybe i'll get an answer
but i don't have the energy to speak right now
(nor feel)
one day they'll hear me out.
oh,
we're among the earth, beneath the dirt
i feel it all, besides my worth
so all i have are these verbal words
i can't figure out if it's a bless or curse
oh what a mess i've made of me
i won't get past twenty-three
so here i am, still brittling
imagining all that i wanna be
will i ever be?

splitting hairs while the universe has it's back turnt.
a naive child leading oneself into great danger
letting greater danger bid on the outcome.
eyes creeping open ever so softly
are we in
are we...
how come?

fomalhaut [prod. jewelryboy]

【﻿ｉ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｎｅｅｄ　ｎｏ　ｓｈｏｕｌｄｅｒ】
   【ｗｈｅｎ　ｆａｌｌ　ｃｏｍｅｓ　ａｒｏｕｎｄ】

AMV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqpbPsXyY1g
thank you so much for listening
produced by @user-230494921 🧡
cover art drawn by @HoneyDMilkTeax on twitter <3

i don't got time, always less
make straight shit, cry about it in my bed
irritation over when i try to improve a mix
wishing i was at my max
i don't know where i'm at
don't know where i'm-

when the fog lifts up from my head
i let the mist drip down from my eyes, to my lips
and i know that note was "off",
but i can't bother to fix it
i accept that i'm blessed with the curse of a sickness

the light shines down; radiate the heat
i feel it like an oven
the sun'll switch up
when it's got enough lovin'
but i'm used to it; anticipate the ruining
at any chance i'll ruin it
idle in my room again, feeling like a-

i'd let down my hair but it keeps falling out
but it's too complicated
they scream, "what's that bout?"
i'll just down another substance
in a hope it takes me out
and i don't need no shoulder when fall comes around

so thankful for those that have helped me along
despite how i'm trash, despite all my flaws
i hope all i work for one day'll pay off
cause every time i look at myself i scoff

don't ask me what's wrong
you won't like what you're hearing
or probably just not even get it
(you'll probably just not even get it, get it?)

(2x)
i don't got time, always less
make straight shit, cry about it in my bed
irritation over when i try to improve a mix
wishing i was at my max
i don't know where i'm at
don't know where i'm-

slipped through the vines
then i landed in the underground
if i was lost in the first place
then i was never found
wow
you'd really go through all of that?
just to feel like you have a sense of yourself on track?
no shit
i've dreamt of this for ages
you really don't get how many people don't "make it"
but that's their fault
i don't want it to be mine
it's more than just a matter of time

scoff [prod. 4lexf]

【﻿ｉｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｒｕｔｈ　ｗｏｎ＇ｔ　ｓｅｌｌ，　ｋｅｅｐ　ｏｎ　ｂａｒｇａｉｎｉｎｇ．】

thank you so much for listening.

cover art done by @tssukki3 & me
prod. farber x @jang0x
(additional piano implemented by me)

another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

i cannot leave when the ground has been holding me
weep and repeat, cause the cycle has grown on me
you'll brush it off, "oh he's spittin some poetry"
but really i'm trying my best so you'll notice me
i ain't been up on my luck in a minute
it must be my fault that my health has diminished
but i'll fight my way through this shit to the finish
cause i'm all i got, and it's all i was given
i wish they saw what i see on the daily
but i no longer desire a saving
i've learnt a lot, but i still fuck it over (i always fuck it up)
birds feeding out of my chest while i smolder

i watch them fly away
my intestines in their veins
i'm in an empty space
in a stagnant state

this moment's passing me by
but just whose fault is it this time?
with wings made of sludge
blue is more than just the color it's made out to be
what chilled lips to cave into the temptation of frost
if the truth won't sell, keep on bargaining.
having the upper-hand doesn't determine how many fingers it's broken
but you can assume a lot, right?..
RIGHT?
-
another day wasted, sitting in my room
i sleep through the dread
i skip through the news
i bet when i wake that nothing is new..
but i can dream, oh can't i?
what's wrong with the sky
it left me behind
now i don't go outside
why won't you ever ask why
the day is faster than the night
(let me go, the night, let me die)

with wings to fly [prod. farber x jang0]

【﻿ｎｕｍｂ　ｍｙ　ｔａｓｔｅ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｄ　ｍｅ　ｔｒｕｔｈ】

thank you for listening. i really, really appreciate it.

produced by @prod_death 🖤
hope you enjoy.


walking with grace 
behind closed curtains
and i know that pain
finding out they're not the same
it's just not the same.

i feel like i can touch hades
but the thought of you's the only thing that's kept me saving
from all the bloodshed
i take it all in
i let that deep breath
enter my skin
i haven't felt formaldehyde in a while
it's become so difficult to work up a smile
hit me back if i'm worth every mile
i used to believe what i wanted was peace
but when i open my mouth i feel like a mime

fuck that
i'm ripping the tape off of my face
but don't look at the paste please :(
i wake up and i'm already shaking
there's only so much i can take in
loss of dexterity causes corrosion
i missed every note that i needed the most
don't open their heart till' you've opened your own

the truth (i'm boutta fall through)
i guess you never really knew me (knew me)
that's why i never get through (give a fuck abt you)
it's connection we're losing (losing)
i'll reach my hands through the screen
till i see the spark's out
they're starin' at me; said
"you should be star-bound"
take in the scene
and don't you forget it
the ocean'll sink (sink)
just cause i let it
(let it)

is there even a deeper meaning?
i study her every pattern
i ache then break but they don't seem to take it as a heavy matter
and that's hefty ladder that i'm probably gonna climb forever
and if she goes i let her
and if she goes i let-

kay, i've opened the shades
i thought it was grace, i guess that it's hate
fool me once and take my change
no wonder why i feel the same
fool me twice; i'll start anew
my misfortune falls right back to you
the scent of colors fill my room
to numb my taste and feed me truth

(truth)(4x)
i don't know what does it mean to you..
what do i mean to you? (you-you)
what do i mean to you
you-you-you-you

i feel like i can touch hades
but the thought of you's the only thing that's kept me saving
from all the bloodshed
i take it all in
i let that deep breath
enter my skin
i haven't felt formaldehyde in a while
it's become so difficult to work up a smile
hit me back if i'm worth every mile
i used to believe what i wanted was peace
but when i open my mouth i feel like a mime

i feel like a mime (4x)
(i feel like a mime...)
(am i wasting my time?)

feed me truth [prod. death]

[AMV]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNv4eGItpyg 
produced by @nate2timezz & i
thank you endlessly for listening.
more to come in time
🖤

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
they scream, "don't.. go"
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you just missed it

i'm losing my grip on reality
i need some help or just someone around me
not a physical family
the moment feelings all erupt
they can't handle your trust
guess i was too much of a burden from the cut
but don't let yourself go and doubt on me
the ocean is howling
that's my kind of outing
you don't know the hurt that it brings
can't focus, can't breathe
i love you, but you know what i think?

i'm way too detached
you don't got my back
been tryna distract
"that boy's such a drag"
i lay in my bed; think things never meant
her hand; never leant
where have you been, love

that girl made me feel like i didn't wanna suffer
validated all my reasons
and then continued to smother
cards all on the table
the table's brittle as fuck
cause you leave with no intentions of hurting me
that's enough-

if what you say is what you mean
then fall back onto me
i'll swallow up your misery
i don't care what it brings
i'll be your puppet with no strings
just show me that i have meaning
like a matter, or a purpose
just a reason that i'm breathing
i've been wishing on the stars since a kid
they're where my arms don't reach
but my eyes look past them
the scars make a pretty constellation
they connect all i see
but at the end of the day, they still look past it

you gotta hope it lasts
you're holding yourself back
if you're falling, your wings' cracked
you gotta snap em back
and when the sky becomes the ceiling,
i'll throw rocks to make it crash
oh, don't look back (2x)

through and through
every time i break down my own recluse
just because i thought they understood me too
from my point of view
they never do (2x)

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
you've never known
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you dismissed it.

everlast [prod. nate2timez x autumndropsdead]

everything by me
been working on a lot
seriously way more to come
hope you enjoy. 
thank you so much for listening.
your support means beyond any means to me.

i know i can't keep killing me off slowly
putting my dreams behind me
i find it so damn unlikely; 
remind me
quite lifestyle, but defiled by this thoughts of mine
memories are heaven
'till you are what you forgot in time
don't care..
you don't care
you don't care, anymore.

i can see appeal (a pill)
conflicted with the feeling
a burden on myself
it feels like i just killed me
get over that hill
down another cup of coffee
relive how it felt
to think, see, hear, and feel nothing

oversensitized and ill
aye, when's it my turn to heal?
insinuate that better place you've always dreamt of only kills
until we fall and call it quits
by stone or gun that don't exist
i was here for all of this
(i was here for all of this)

i know i can't keep killing me off slowly
putting my dreams behind me
i find it so damn unlikely; remind me

how i got here, and who i am to stand by
'cause with fragile ears and hearts,
we've always been paralyzed, paralyzed
no wonder, why.

(killing me off slowly)
(putting my dreams behind me)
(i find it so damn unlikely)
(remind me)

all of this

ｓｃａｔｔｅｒ　ｍｙ　ａｓｈ　ｔｈｅｎ　ｐｕｔ　ｆｌｏｗｅｒｓ　ｉｎ

keep going
love you guys.
ty all so so much for the support recently
check up on your friends, and in retrospect, more importantly yourself.
thank you so much for listening.
prod @cartermetro x @gavinhadley 🖤

(i barely feel at home right now)
(so i sedate through the drink and hope it all works out)

cauterize with the lime
press on the wound 'till i start feeling fine
why are the genuine so hard to find
but if i was counterfeit,
i would shatter on the ground when i fall
call; anyone but me at all
i'm out my element, don't be afraid though
i feel like porcelain
scatter my ash then put flowers in

i ain't want screen time
they think i ain't worth shit when my light dies
but i'll brush it off and say, "fine, yeah."
just don't get back to me for highs
'cause that was our last goodbye

(who am i?) (2x)

avoid coming 'cross me
i don't talk often
sugarcoated but without the chocolate
you got the message, so ignore the comments
but my heart is nauseous, that's the problem
i drink and repeat 'cause i love the peak
down with his men-tal, knights, now the king
stuck in this hell, into hell i will sink
if i died, would you grieve?
i'd like to believe
and i can't remember how i felt
the moment had seized me, it's really so evident
all that remains are reminders and remnants
i wish i told you how i felt.

wade through the rain
cherish the moment
difficulties only prove they're golden
full exhaust, eyes sewn wide open
regard me as dust
just a road with no bliss

foaming at the lips
if i'm human, i admit
i hold a heavy distaste for what you have to say
but i'll listen
i'll listen anyways

cauterize with the lime
press on the wound 'till i start feeling fine
why are the genuine so hard to find
but if i was counterfeit,
i would shatter on the ground when i fall
call; anyone but me at all
i'm out my element, don't be afraid though
i feel like porcelain
scatter my ash then put flowers in

porcelain [prod. cxrter x gavin hadley]

ｎｏ　ａｉｒ，　ｂｕｔ　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｉ　ｂｒｅａｔｈｅ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ

prod by my guy @solofttt
fucking love you all.
more on the way
stay strong
take care; drink water
try to get some rest.
thank you for being here

too much
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways

that's the price that i'll pay
not to be overcome by my emotions
a hallow frame, left to be hung on it's own
where nobody'll noticed it's changed
feel that pain of your confusion
and just turn it into music
orchestrations of my patience
retrospective-made illusions

just be cautious not to lose it
'cause some bitch said something stupid
trust me, god i know it hurts
but know your worth and keep on moving
somewhere in the sky
just go outside and raise your head
there's reclusive ways to cleanse yourself
without this constant dread
but this toxin's running deeper
i don't know how long i'll last
i misplaced my fate with hatred
as i'm staring down the glass
i ain't hitting you up like i know you (but i do)
but i'm up a few notches, i'll understand
'cause the past, it haunts you (it does)
i try to reach out, but i got ghost hands

felt too much
now i don't feel enough
felt too much
i may have dove a little deep in the ocean
for my lungs,
couldn't handle the pressure that they had been holding
y'all folding, but i'm focused
honestly i feel omnipotent
only when i get my hands on the potion
or i'm broken, i'm not joking
but maybe if i break daylight, then i'll get shit done
and i'll feel alright
with a tone so stale there was no real cry
on a blood-stained trail, we still bleed overnight
fuck, i bet that you feel it again
incisions embellish your skin
and now you're all alone again
deprived of the people you thought were your friends
i made a couple calls, did they go through?
it ain't fair, i really don't wanna miss you
take care, i'll be blowing on tissues
no air, but, somehow i breathe through
it's 4 in the morning, my guardian's snoring
i'm sorry i lied, i've been sippin away
i'd make me some porridge, but puke it by morning
the cycle is horrid, but i ain't complain

indefinite pain ain't just part of my day
it's been shrouding my brain
like a vulturous gate
this shit's an escape
i'm always afraid
of being locked out of my own mental state
try not to run away just yet, i feel you
breaching my skin, for the meantime

too much 
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways
(anyways)

woodworks [prod. soloft]

ｕｎｔｉｌ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｕｓｋ　ｅｒｏｄｅｓ，　ｏｒ　ｆｉｎａｌｌｙ　ｇｅｔｓ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ

produced by @cartermetro & @gualabeatz

hey, 
workng on a lot; it's been difficult to come by many things lately, 
but i'm really trying to get there
thank you so much for all your support
thank you so much for listening
thank you for being here
take care of yourselves
i love you
drink water 

i don't wanna lose the emotion
i don't wanna sweep it under the floor
'kay girl fuel that substance
like, somehow it knows you need something more
i don't wanna feel real love yet
'cauese love ain't love, it's knowing your core
and i know you know that you're running
better shape up 'fore you keep that

this is not gonna work
imagine reinvention
tryna recollect my worth, yea
i hope you hear it in the words
or at least over the phone
i'm just a broken bird

when my neck goes stiff i try to stretch it
get some leverage into heaven
seen a lot of angry faces, disappointed my decisions
cold bed, lost friends, time spent just forgetting
sharp pains, dull fate; stimulate the seven senses

oh my, don't cry, feel fine that you're falling (2x)

fuck time killed over cheap thrills
like wine spills for some dopamine
i still that i'm unreal, so i choose to be who i wanna be
not swept up like room dust, when it turns dusk and i can't see
how i once felt, if i did well, for the person who had wanted me

never really know if it's a drill
am i really dying? wish i'd know that
write it all on the will
this windowsill really goes back
when all i had was to heal
now all i have is to collapse
coffee cans over pills
hands quake from the cold blast

this is not gonna work
imagine reinvention
tryna recollect my worth, yea
i hope you hear it in the words
or at least over the phone
i'm just a broken bird
(i'm just broken)

40 minutes pass uh
hot water still rolls off of back yo
never can relax, i
step out the moment the feeling retracts
now i feel in mass
got nowhere to go, so i'm making a track
easy as that
you know that you feel it so fade in the grass

neither fight or flight 'cause i'm aware of my abilities
i'll chalk it up until the dusk erodes or finally gets to me
i guess we tend to trust in what we fight for
but don't let a road become an eyesore
open up your mental, persevere and take a dip
just because you weren't there, it doesn't mean they ain't exist
i create to stimulate when no one's there to fill me in
'cause when your home's a hollow body, i could a little pinch, so

we can probably make it work
imagine reinvention
tryna recollect your worth
(worth) 2x
i hope you hear it in the words
or at least over the phone
i am just a broken bird
(i'm just broken)

cans [prod. cxrter x gualabeatz]

ｔｈａｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｇｕａｒｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｓｈａｄｏｗｓ　ｍｅ

produced by dash vv
https://www.youtube.com/@dash8518

love y'all so much.
last single before the ep, most likely
thank you for listening <3
thank you for being here
more to come, in hopes

realistically wasting my time, and
don't claim you understand
you'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
we'll never last this
i wanna know myself 'fore i should take my life

the other side's so inviting
why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
i can see through the white lies
fuck a check, i ain't switch sides
matter of fact, think i'll own mine
call it wraps, called her 5 times
colon cramps, body's prolly fine
i been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
what the fuck

i hardly get any rest
when i lay me some ground
all my dreams make me sweat
well, honestly what'd i expect, i'm a tremor
who's born to make course with a crest
and since you've got room to assume,
i'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
but i'll say it once to conclude
it's only to falter youth

sending it down through my face to my gut
fireworks sound while i've waited enough
i ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
after effect of it damage and lunges
kicking and punching
wonder and covet
smoke in this oven i claim to be nothing
under the covers, i wake into sunder
and panic then start to malfunction
these eyes are so indecisive
catching the sights that are so uninvited
well, anything but ultraviolet
going outside, my anxiety heightens
so i'll stay inside and be silent
minus the music and all of the crying
don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

she told me that i'm smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can start to feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

no one
to lend a hand
through the sawdust
in this foreign land
is this all that you want?
forever we run, even if we're not
indefinite rot
smoldered lungs while i talk

and no it ain't from the green
from birth i've been clean
but i kinda wanna be, to escape reality
no way this life was meant for me
never will i come to be fine with low expectancies
i'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
a frozen-hearted entity
thaw the guard that shadows me
too intolerant to speak
cut my lips and break my teeth
numb my limbs, but make it brief
i've got nowhere else to be
but miss the way it used to be
did you feel the same for me

my eyes cry with the help of high life
can't you tell i repel with a fat lie
any sort of love will numb me;
numb enough to pass life
i sense two decisions
one's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

it was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
i ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
a couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
this not a game, fuck a charade
pressin the keys until i feel okay
throughout the day
'till i collapse and wake up on my face
block out the sound with a video game
or something to drink
lemon and sugar remind me of fate
it's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
sweet by the grain, ay

she told me i was smart
"i'm better than that?"
she told me i can feel something
she told me i could be something greater
then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

by the grain [prod. dash]

no samples used
visuals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKv2MdMEQ5I

hey guys, i haven't been able to record much vocals lately, so here's this instrumental i've been working on & off on for the past few months.
hope you enjoy 🖤
i appreciate you all so much.
thank you for being here & listening

ａｍｏｎｇ　ｔｈｅ　ｅａｒｔｈ，
ｂｅｎｅａｔｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｄｉｒｔ

i don't expect this to last

prod me
no samples used
take care

up in the trees is where i would hang
'till i tumbled down when he told me to stay
back in the bush; cast on my arm
shall i never heal, i'll be happy a pine.
yet i'm full of shit, atone every word
but this is for you, so i'll try not to hurt
choked up every verse though.
you cannot reverse

what a fine young man, i wonder where his head's at
too far gone, now i needa take a step back
all that i want is to live in my notepad
feeding me lyrics for songs 'till my days' last
genuine crave, and i don't wanna change that
mental array in a haze getting whiplash
honest display, but there isn't a playback
trust in the heart of your cards when it fades black

patch on the leg; how the fuck do i move it
i miss your laugh, and with friends, watching movies
oh, i'll try a bit harder to step out my comfort,
but being alone is just way too damn soothing

i cannot bear this weight,
so i'll just eat it up and stomach it
your words they spoke to me,
i'd always wonder what would come of it

you were nervous, well, i'm anxious
but for you, did you know i would fucking get back on my feet,
though, not complaining
seldom i held any care, wouldn't budge, wouldn't speak
years, haven't walked down the street
i took a walk down the street.
bubbling grief
if only you knew what you meant to me, 
god i would hope you had felt what you meant to me

june arrived, i almost felt alive
but then i heard the news and felt the water rise
capsized the thought of letting go of life
but now it's even harder getting sleep at night
what a gentle soul, grown out the mold
with the sky his home, and for the earth, a stone
beyond the ozone; inside the mind
what an ethereal one, and of a joyous kind.

suck in the rain, spit out the clouds
our synergy now resides in the ground

yeah i know the rain is real important when it's pouring down the evergreens
thought about you often, so i hope that you remembered me
'cause you took your leave
autumn and sleep
we ran our shit up until '23
growing the seeds; sowing their seams
if i make it out of this, hoping you see, yeah.

sycamore

guitar by magicDz

love y'all a ton.
thank you for listening
thank you for being here, truly
hope you enjoy

ep postponed, but i got a lot else i've been working on
yea



take me apart
reassemble and recharge what you erased
no regards
zip my lip, i cannot communicate

above every scent they embellish
it's rotten, yet fresh, so i cannot repel it

they ain't know me like that
do my homies got my back?
rigor mortis 'till i crack
brought me back in, yet we're never patching
glass, all up in this brittle back
always lacking what i have, like a magnet
opposites attracting

(i don't) i don't wanna feel this bitter
but i don't wanna rock that mask, no
redacting myself from the present when i wanna end it
pelt dust at my mental
cavities build in my dental
skipping toothpaste for the mentos
everything felt so common
i hurt so often; bent like a stencil

caffeination, isolation, what a cycle, what a day
couple people that i talk to; very seldom light the way
i do it myself it seems
shot down like it's belomancy

sat recluse in my room every noon, glued to youtube
if i had somebody special, it'd be them too
won't you settle down and tell me what you're going through
call me up for once, 'cause honestly you never do
so when the clock strikes, i feel the curse so tight
staying up 'till it's twilight
green flash in my eyesight
black cat in the moonlight
waving bye when i'm boutta cry
i hit you up 'cause i had to cry
spirit guide lurkin' hindsight

drill in my head, got a shovel in my chest
but i leave it like that, let it grow like grass
i'm a fucked up kid, can't live in the past
and the moment don't last, break shit when i laugh
no meds and i'm gassed, but deflate real fast
real friends hit back, understand where i'm at?
why you treat 'em like ass though?
do you got a moat for the castle?
been down every ounce, now i'm fragile
she had meant so much, what a hassle
days into weeks, now months
stolen my crutch
fuck it i'll hunch
punching my gut 'till the air flows
cornering stare with an echo
licking the tip of the arrow
wove in a rope like a pharoah
sooner than late i won't care, no

like that
do my homies got my back?
rigor mortis 'till i crack
brought me back in, yet we're never patching
glass, all up in this brittle back
always lacking what i have, like a magnet
opposites attracting

they ain't know me like that
do my homies got my back?
rigor mortis 'till i crack
brought me back in, yet we're never patching
glass, all up in this brittle back
always lacking what i have, like a magnet
opposites attracting

bombay

prod @nate2timezz <3

hope you enjoy
thank you for listening, like seriously, so much
gotta keep moving, somehow

irregulation; my heart, it still beats though
necromancy like i'm beyond the grave
sleeping a 14, or i'm up for days
but either way, i'll still feel the same
i'd rather feel burnout over withdrawals
repression, it kills me a lot, i can't sing it off
and it never stops
never stops
and it never stops
it never stops

how'd another worm get caught in the rain?
sun come out to enhance that pain
shame, shame
all that you wanted was someone to save
now that you're lost, you treat them as god
paying your dues, they've been clogging like clots
don't care about being 'part of your mirage
fuck an applause, this all i got

that weight upon the water's nothing more than just a storm
so what we drinking for? 
what we drinking for?
those ideals are everything you've only felt with utter scorn
so i can't take no more
i can't take none

fluid ghosts, i can feel them haunt my bones
i cannot break through the drapes though
radiation burn my halo
don't you go ask how my day goes
you're not concerned anyway
you're plastic as legos

quiet down while break the seal
'cause i'm numbin' down from what they claim is real
every day i wake just to fuckin break, then rejuvenate
i'm in shock, kinda like an eel

hit em with a swift so fast like an aipom
they went from a real to fake in a day; gone.
rollout like an autobot, waiting for december sun
who am i depending? 
honestly, not anyone anymore

so, you like to target? 
trust me there's no need to implore
inside my cartilage, there's already arrows galore
you're my narcotic, the thought of you imposes me warmth
or so i thought it; ultimately leaving me sore


irregulation; my heart, it still beats though
necromancy like i'm beyond the grave
sleeping a 14, or i'm up for days
but either way, i'll still feel the same
i'd rather feel burnout over withdrawals
repression, it kills me a lot, i can't sing it off
and it never stops
never stops
and it never stops
it never stops

so i can try to fill in all the blanks
when shrouded in mirage, i'll take the blame
poison in the pot,
love it 'till you hate the fact that you forgot
what mattered anyways

aipom (nate2timez)

ｔｈｉｓ　ｆｉｒｅ　ｂｕｒｎｔ　ｉｔｓｅｌｆ　ｆｏｒ　ｏｘｙｇｅｎ

prod @user-230494921
hope you enjoy 
still more to come
thank you for being here
i appreciate you all so much

could do without a hubris
i barely feel human
tuck it all inside, the heat'll rise until i'm fuming
i wonder what the use is
'cause i ain't wanna do this
no amount of joy could mute the noise the mind produces

quick, you gotta hurt me just to prove that blood was bled
tried every solution
but this one, it feels the best
i can feel my pulse work it's way out of my chest
so tired that this fire burnt itself for oxygen

my mind won't humor me
i feel like a failed attempted lucid dream
a eulogy to send me off, then kick into a flowing stream
(closed my eyes) i'm still the only one that's staring back at me
let her disposition grant a wish of living happily

it took too long just to move on
learnt nuance bared clarities
not headstrong, just kept on
given all the bullshit i was parrying

i can't fill this heart yet
'cause nothing's staying in
(but it might be)

colder than snow
dry like a carcass
cut by the throat
motion; lathergic
left on my own, to my own devices
liquid will flow, i've grown to like it
seldom approach
zero will manage
the older the ghost, the faster they vanish
that home was your home, 'till you've known that you've grown out it's place
with no one in sight, now i throw down the mace

could do without a hubris
i barely feel human
tuck it all inside, the heat'll rise until i'm fuming
i wonder what the use is
'cause i ain't wanna do this
no amount of joy could mute the noise the mind produces

she said i had hopeful eyes, and
that had me mesmerized
if there was time we had left,
then she'd want none of mine

i drowned out all my anger in the water
but that made my heart much hotter
lent a hand, now mine's in sulfur
just so others wouldn't falter

jinn (4lexf)

ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔ　ｍｅ　ｉｓ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｌｏｏｓｅ　ｅｎｄ

i love all of you guys seriously so much.
this is the only thing  i ever want to do, and your support helps push me to continue with all of this; i would regardless, but i'm grateful to no ends for whatever kind of reception is given back. things have been seriously difficult as of late, and so all i can say is thank you for being here. thank you for listening.
shit's kinda cliche when i say that, but that cliche shit is true sometimes, and i mean it; whatever. thank you 
hopefully just the beginning 

prod @cartermetro & @vito2300 

you left (you left)
i crashed (i crashed)
now all we ever had is in the past
(it's all in the past)
i'll stay (away)
detached (from that)
until the very moment i collapse

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
but i couldn't give a shit
hammered down any spite, bring out the knife
lying outside again

and my notes are filled with solutions,
that you might consider delusion
the old me is buried in ruins
the present me is just a loose end
turned off the phone for monochrome daydreams
'cause i don't give a shit if i'm wavy
i mean look at what happened to davy

making a point to you's crazy
crissin' it 'cross like an apple, how tasty
stuck in a drench, while i'm soaking in sweat
more or less i'm expecting nobody to save me
pokemon quest on the blue 2DS
nowadays i'm a wreck, and i stench what i'm craving
heart full of rust,
when the musk fermentates in my chest you can leave what you're hating

i got a pain in my neck, can't stretch it
the hurt in my voice can't be heard over message
so let's make a break where we got no connections
only direction, never perfection
when i talk to the sky, it'll always rain hail
bulimia fucking me up 'till i'm well
"the truth doesn't sell"
leave me for dead with the dread in my head and no breath to inhale

004, blunt force on the baby
there ain't a lure with the potent to save me
getting by as a passerby,
keeping lowered eyes, i'm already hazy
not that i'm lazy,
just marinating in lost time they never gave me
i'm short on breath, should i recollect
or detach, while i'm still straining
i hate that when i fall back into relapse
it's me i'm saving
what a nuisance, when i do this
you're clueless about what i'm saying
so, deuces, 'cause few stick when the roof lifts
i'm sick of waiting
got mucus on my blue lips
from fucked shit i feel on the daily

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
why should i give a shit
hammered down any spite, brought in the knife
i wanna die again

my heart's open
why is my heart open
quick, gotta close it
quick, gotta close it

collapse [prod. cxrter x vito]

prod me

sick & haven't been able to record much of anything for some time now, but i wanted to get something out both for myself, and possibly you;
been sitting on this one for a while
hope you enjoy.
take care

hey, i'll trade you for your sorrows
i've grown used to feeling that
and if we're talking 'bout tomorrows
i've grown used to losing them too

the voices i read with my ears, tend to bleed
choking up every piece of the letters i speak
wasn't always afraid of the pictures i paint
guess the brush needs a wash, mutilate, then repeat

hate when i reach out again
people speculate my head
you're not me, you're not my friend
frequently, wish i was..

thoughts reflected through my brain
too bad they can't do the same
shattered past and future pains
guide me home through rough terrain

i'm ugly with words
keep it blunt, little passive
hoping that i'll make it up with some actions
feel so trash, bounce back like elastic
i'm doing that for the sake of my casket
hurting myself in a hope i'll be gone
suck how the ones that we trust do you wrong
playing along
it's not even fair i can bare all the tears that i've once undergone

this life makes me sick; can't trade it
i've been pushing through the lame shit
stay averted; bad relations
let my room for hate stay vacant
pour it all on my own psyche
ain't no one 'round here feel like me
it's not a nice thing
never sight-see inside my mind
i'm mostly agonizing

i told them it'd be okay
it sure as hell don't feel that way
your limitations never stay
you're pulling pins to thought grenades

it's all the same
cast a wave and send me to a sunken grave
only then i'll know my place

woke up in a sweat so cold
in a room pale white, and a heart full of woe
passed out 'round noon, now i'm ten on my toes
from the sun's red hue, passed through what imposed
any chafe on my brain by the stains from the mulch
what kind of weight doesn't make you implode?
phasing a gate into heaven's abode
but that ain't a place i ain't think imma know

i haven't changed my sheets in like a week or two
(get outta bed)
summer's passed, and suddenly, our meanings too
(it's all that i have)

my eyes stayed tied into my mind
to undermine it's barbed wires

i'm trying to be what i need
choosing escape over delicacies
they weren't a choice i would seek
nothing was ever created for me

(4x)
i'm trying to be what i need

autumndropsdead

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