i made it through today, just to be brought back into tomorrow.

cover art done by me & @_bluberri 
entire project's vocals mixed/mastered by me
prods:
acey
@nate2timezz
@not-a-fucking-hero
@emptychest
thank you above and beyond to everyone involved in the making of this project.
this project holds extreme amounts of sentimental value to me, and i hope that whoever may be  listening to it, is able to find and capture your own version of whatever you may be going through, and use this to get you through it. 
none of this would be possible without the support from every single one of you for listening. it was just a singular year ago that i had hardly any of a following, let alone knew anyone that would lend me a hand to get to where i am now; i'm sincerely so grateful to how many amazing people i've met, and bonds i've made throughout my time creating. so i truly, truly, thank you. 
- autumn

tomorrow through today

start loving yourself, to quit loving yourself
i was sleeping on the edge of my bed till i fell
awaken to the morning sweat 
of being trapped in this hell
could i forgive like all i did to puncture holes in my health?

it's not about you
but i sorta wish it was
cause i hope you're doing well
i know we don't talk much 
but this is not the way i deserve to be treated
i'd do anything to have a sixth sense or a reason

cause i am constantly bleeding
but no one can see it
i'm sure they know a lot about it
and are sick of the sequence
since i have turned to a demon
do not come near me
you know i mean no harm
but i don't wanna feel guilty

cause i'm selfish as fuck
i hate what i make
yet i'll still put it out 
in hopes that it'll do great
it's way too hard to portray how i feel
when i'm sober as fuck, and not off on the pills

my brain is stupid
i find it useless
i only leave my room when it has to do with music
and you can call me pudent
that's only half what the truth is
sick of the tones on my phone
tryna convince me to use it
i know this won't make it easy
but you should know what i'm thinking
it helps me comprehend what's real
and not just imagination
(was it imagination?..)
WAS IT IMAGINATION

thank you ally, bow, everyone in rue
when i'm down on my luck
i know that ya'll will come through
but that's like all of the time
so how's my conscience alive?
(there's just been way too many times)
(that i've had to realign)

i always wonder
"am i still me?"
(do you feel me)
if i'm putting out a track
would you listen?
intentionally fucking up my health
just to heal me..
IT'S JUST A CYCLE THAT I LIVE WITH

if my mind is a prison
i'll call the guard and i'll sick him
i push through every division
while all the while feeling livid
you know, i must be the sickness
i'm the root in itself
when i come back to this shit
i still won't know how i felt

cause the tone in my voice,
whether i'm singing or speaking;
it makes me wanna vomit
oh dear god, now i'm shaking
yet they say it's amazing
i wish that i could believe em
so that once i'm gone
this could be my requiem

(oh, don't you know?..)

fuck
asking questions of questions upon answer-
you win.
(or is it just me?)

there weren't enough words 
within this timeline we call home
that moment had passed
and now i've come to understand..
that there still isn't
and won't ever be.
maybe it's the way we've all come to lie down 
next to who we were the day before
(the day before)
but never come to terms with that poor soul.
every now and then..
i wonder what would have been...
where i would be..
if i hadn't spoken at all..
silence speaks for itself
(but do you?..)
and engraved into thin air..
i rest.
(i rot.)

artemis//requiem (hero x emptychest)

let us make a deal
this is not a fill-in
it's just how i feel
and right now i'm the villian
lately i wanna waste this time of mine
watching myself as i decline

but this is everything to me
watching the moon as it recedes
into conclusion
there's no truth
back where i started

where is this going?
(i'm frozen in motion)
they're constantly groaning
(bout shit not important)
their interpretations of me doing better
is one of the reasons for making my head hurt

one chance just to trust myself
to portray myself
to betray myself
it's a cold, damp world
is it sick i'm all about it?
you'll never learn to grow if you
just go around it

being numb ain't enough
the fact that i'm here and i'm living 
is still reminiscence 
of everything that i'm not
gone in the beat of a heart
if you blink you would miss
don't call me a kid, or treat me like it
the key won't fit, cause you never locked in
i'm fuckin rottin'
(but not forgotten)
how long has my heart been made out of cotton?

are we humanoid, or programmed to become one
some day?
i'm diving into oblivion
when i'm tugging upon on my vocal strings
but they will snap
god i know that
feed on the wills of the ones who have once passed
their efforts all gone to waste
now i'm in their place
i promised i'd make it back

(oh, i'll make it back)
(i'll make it back)
(4x)
i gave up all of that

but this is everything to me
watching the moon as it recedes
into conclusion
there's no truth
back where i started

nowhere; incomplete where i am now
these alleys reek throughout this town
fingers pressed against a spindle
it's been years; can't get them out

cotton (acey x nate2timez)

can't tell if the room's getting big
or if i'm just small
cause it only takes a second to fall
i crawl into bed when the sun starts to rise
i simply can't handle the smoke and the smog

my ribs are transparent
must be malnutrition
i feel so decrepit
i'm clearly indifferent
yet heaving persistence
with every decision
the outcome is rigid

mortality hates
that there is an end
to everything we wanna protect
blue screens emulate when i was a kid
nothing would phase me
save me once again

verbally gone
no, i don't wanna talk
deteriorate what i ate till i rot 
it takes up a lot; my energy's shot
take in the scent of a bird that was caught
it's leading me home
mentally not or physically there
i continue to trot
i'm walking on air; mentality rose
but then i wake up to find out i'm alone

shadows approach as they
rip me apart from my desk
all they had wanted was means to an end
but i sense dishonesty filling their heads
you don't know grief till it's conquered your chest

i'm still not impressed
seventeen and counting
oh please, i digress
from everyone around me
i'll tear me to shreds;
fed up with the scowling
i'm a rodent; the fox it is prowling

it was so different long ago
i can't get rid of this vertigo
but honest to god, who would've known
that being hurt feels like home...

𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵-..
𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸?..

endow me
endow me
and i'll be your hatred

endow me 
endow me
endow me in all your hatred

tomorrow through today

autumndropsdead