u were hoping i'd cave,
i heard u say it but you'd never say that shit to my face
'cos ur a leech baby taking trends and riding the waves
while im above put myself first i'm up and away
ur left overboard piecing back together the frame

got these fuckin people tryna talk to me, yeah
i don't wanna know where u've been or what girl ur with
i don't wanna know that your friends are so rebellious
i don't fuckin know why? i guess ur shit at picking 'em

Got you madder than me
You got your hands on my sleeves 
You try to put me to sleep 
But I will stay awake 
Don't tell me things wont change 
I always hide my face 
You never break so easily 

Take the pain you never had 
You wanna feel for me 
You set a target on my back 
I barely breathe for me 
Been drinking seven days have passed 
I barely live for me 
I feel addiction coming back

I feel this devil on my shoulder
And my eyes been going black 
I don't lack composure when I'm reading through these texts 
You never reply to me 
I never reply to you 
I don't even like these shades of black mixed in with navy blue

i been so lost i cant focus
bring me down now i dont want this
i dont stare much but youd notice
everytime i look at you im on edge

notice how my eyes stay frozen
i keep tryna run but you keep calling
everytime you speak to me its always
turning out the same its fucking boring

being here without you im much happier now
bury my emotions 60ft in the ground
taking my advice ill slap the bitch in the mouth
so the bullshit that shes spewing will stop fumbling out

waves w/ sinxi & erxn

big thanks to @sinxi for jumping on the song with me 
Prod me

grasior - 
who would you lie for when every single day just feels like a chore
nothing ever goes the way you want it too
so you bring it too war 

maybe lifes better alone
all this peace n quiet never hurt your soul
does the past always bring you home

i know deep inside your scared
the abyss never felt this eerie
its so dark i can barely stare
why it all so become dreary 

just behind feeling perfect
friends dont think your worth it
telling you to stay the same

makin you think that your crazy
sitting feeling lazy
laying in the inbetween

though i dont want to take you out
everything you do just drowns it out
do you feel it all again or
is it better with a way home
you never see a way
just for what ive done too
oh i dont wanna see you go away
when you take me out away

sinxi -
uv given your attention
mustang in your driveway waiting for ya
don’t wanna be pretentious 
but the way that your moving got me oh yeah 

i’ve been gone for hours 
and your friends text your phone like we’re outta here 
but i don’t wanna leave yet 
so i’ll stay here fixated on the same shit 

that you told me a month ago 
i can’t let it 
go yet u said that ur comfortable 
with being here and i don’t wanna lie 

i don’t understand your parables 
your a demon in plain disguise 
so i’ll tell u here in some syllables 
i don’t care right now if we just die 

you know that we’ll be fine 
my heart just straight declined
let me just close my eyes 
take me to the other side
i know you hate me 
but just let me back inside
don’t be so heartless 
let’s just give it another try
-----------------------------------------

flower petals ✾

again w/sinxi

@yokaidreams @tnvr555 

all black
nails, clothes
blacked out
coke nose
turned just for a second now she’s got me in a choke hold
pretty eyes you know it’s all to save face
i’m so used to all the acting 
i’ve got no time to waste

you’re a time bomb ticking baby 
i’m calling your bluff now
cardiac arrest you’re killing everyone you touch love
and for a mention you’d do ‘bout anything
but i don’t care for who you are so get the fuck out my face

kerosene love
i'm burning up at ur touch
i know the hate that u contain is so much more than i will
ever see love
so u should bite off ur tongue
and take the knife from my gut
cuz i've been bleeding out

left last night, didn't see u til the morning
scratch and bite ya, she's a fuckin animal
don't have a care at all
violating protocol
she's in my area code
looking fucking scary tho
but for you i swear that i could write another million lines
but we been running out of time

spotify

TIMEBOMB W/ YOKAI DREAMS [TNVR]

prod @tnvr555

// i'm geist 
try to prove yourself
but can’t do the minimal
don’t look at me
your eyes are so pitiful
took time took years
still invisible
just another day
fucking miserable

all stressed out
can’t numb it with nicotine
teeth drug stained
paranoia from the lsd
it’s all fake
all hate
making enemies
blood fresh red stacking bodies at the crime scene

i wake up dead
hardly functioning on caffeine
to the party everybody wants to fight me
swear to god i’ll put that bitch in the dirt
don’t dare you question my worth
or you’ll all end up hurt

// tnvr 
i just made a crime scene,
cut 'em up like denji
contract with my shadows
so they will not go against me
we're just wasting time see,
now i'm feeling empty
take take take all my energy
leave me with misery

feed them lies,
they won't ask you anything
push me off the edge
there's no empathy
it's all fake, all hate
now you're dead to me
you can find me at the morgue if you remember me

SPOTIFY

CRIME SCENE W/ TNVR

i seen your eyes turn to water
you must be so ahead idk what u wanna hear
from me, now im older
glass feels colder
inside looking out
what if this how they view me from the outside
ur looking down on me
ur looking down now
this blasphemy 
it all comes round 
you were bad for me
im so fucked now

i could take a knife out
put it through my wrist
let you grab it with your hand just so you can twist
i wont tell nobody
youd never hurt a soul
dont try to complicate it
ur doing it wrong
you can try and stop me however you want
ill put a hole through ur head
and then ill spin it off
im sick of being vulnerable
no one listens now
youll never get ahead of me 
ill just rip you down

ur splitting personalities 
i swear nobody gives a shit
walk right over me, ur never nice oh no one bit
i must be such a disgrace, im holding you back
covering my ears oh i love when you laugh
but its bad
i see ur faces walking round like you have
other family you throw me on my ass
never mine and its honestly sad

wrist

should have 
should have been my body
should have 
should have been my body

ill never get another chance now
and i dont want it, i just want you back now
i cannot deal with all these faces looking at me
i really think it should have been my body

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

i really thought i tried my best
im putting all my scent across your messsages
just to ruin it again
youre my love and all my medicine

whats stopping me
nobody can stop me now
what is happening 
words barely leaving my mouth
but im lost again
gaps of air barely creep out
im asleep again
i dont mean to let you down

ive been lost now for a while and i need some help
but none of my friends even seem to care
throw me on the ground while youre walking out
say its all because of me you know its not fair

have so much to tell you bout my come down
its not funny its not funny im still bleeding
how much do i need for me to pass out
if im gone before the morning then i need it

should have
should have been my body...

body

long nights of the figting and its been getting old 
so you packed up boxes and you said hit the road
jack all in my system you try to play yhe victim 
but
the writings on the ceiling,
the walls were just depleting 

i try to be my best and im doing all i can 
but im falling the thru the floor 
and im sinking where i stand 
its hard to cope with less and i hope you understand that im nothing more than flesh if i couodnt be your man

winter cold tells me something thay i dont know
wind chill on my heart sub zero word to homie nick i tried but not a hero 
tried to make a list but i left it up in reno
i don’t know whats gotten into you but i cant help but wonder why you lost our love 
i know im not enough x2

yeah i know its hard x2


long nights of the figting and its been getting old 
so you packed up boxes and you said hit the road
jack all in my system you try to play the victim 
but
the writings on the ceiling,
the walls were just depleting 

i try to be my best and im doing all i can 
but im falling the thru the floor 
and im sinking where i stand 
its hard to cope with less and i hope you understand that im nothing more than flesh if i couodnt be your man

guess i couldn’t be your man
3 years gone now i dont know who i am
but i know its hard
but i know its hard

flesh [sorrow bringer]

lyrics!!

let me go, i’m not home
picking flowers and i guess we made a mess right 
two hours i’ll be boarding on the next flight
let me go, im not home
rain showers taint the letters i would hand wright
so two hours i’ll be boarding flight

what’s right what’s wrong?
i know it’s hard
i know they try to beat you till you break apart

(beat you till you break apart)

watching the devil walk in
i do no talking
my pockets been full since august
so thanks for that bitch
lost in a broken promise so dishonest
my fault was never flawless 
just a problem 
act up i’m the only reason i get no love
did it to myself
you know that’s bad luck
watch me tear my eyes out
all my bridges fall down
omg i guess iv been smoking every night now

but you never cared dosent matter 
you were always scared of moving backwards
girl that’s all i ever did for you
girl that’s all i ever did for you

let me go, i’m not home
picking flowers and i guess we made a mess right 
two hours i’ll be boarding on the next flight
let me go, im not home
rain showers taint the letters i would hand wright
so two hours i’ll be boarding flight

let me go [boyfifty]

lyrics //

wrong turn, girl it hurt
idk why
been having visions of ur face almost every night

walk down, every broken road
and ill tell you that im homebound
you just wanna play me like a joke
idk how
u could never get it out ur throat
spit it all out

make a list of every rule i broke
write it all down
just another number in a phone
i wont call now
autumn came and it left me so damn cold

(chorus)

just avoid all my pain god its pushing me down 
im not better now x2
got me scratching at my face
god i hate what you found
scared to sleep
ion wake up now
harder to speak 
when my head so loud
people and pressure be weighing  me down
walk in the function my eyes my eyes to the ground


(verse 2)

last week
spent some time got my mind out the gutter
and all you do is waste my time
girl that’s word to my mother 
it’s got me breaking every night
god i hope this gets better
 wrote down all my love
on the parchment  and paper
if i wasent enoigh
take it up with my maker
put ur knife in my gut
twist the fate with the saber
now im leaking out blood
and all the love that i gave her

(chorus)


(outro)
way too long iv been cointing my sheep
you love to break each bone
get me down ok my knees

scared to sleep [sorrow bringer]

yeah we never did it right
try to switch sides but its too late
take the rib out my side
every waking thought feels insane 
but i know thay im alive
been tryna find comfort in this pain
but boy its been a ride
saw that look up on ur face ur gone tonight

when a star collides
or an angel gets its wings
when the night sky’s
reflecting on to me
it’s like i couldn’t help it
you smile while you say im selfish
my bad that you couldn’t tell
when i tried to yell
i was busy breathless

we can waste time
thinking bout the past 
but im offline
since you made my heart black
and i gave my phone a crack

in the front seat of a new car
felt u cut me, got a new scar
aint it lovely when you’re so far?
family found me in the front yard 

been ashamed of the man that i was 
been off of the gram, cuz its only fake love
i came to conclusion im stuck in a rut
but im stronger than this so im not giving up

when a star collides
or an angel gets its wings
when the night sky’s
reflecting on to me
like i couodnt help it
you smile while you say im selfish
my bad that u couldn’t tell
when i tried to yell
i was busy breathless

breathless [under the maple tree]

YouTube  
@Awayuki404

BG Art | イラスト 
https://x.com/kyanora3141

I won't return | もう戻れない

もしも百年が　この一瞬の間にたつたとしても　何の不思議もないだらう。

I won't return | もう戻れない

Awayuki | 淡雪

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