sino ka (sino ako)
hindi kita kilala
hindi ko na masabi
kung ikaw yung hinahanap ko
kung ikaw yung sinungaling 
kung ikaw ang para sakin

lumaki ako
naghintay ako
humahanap ako
pero wala na kayo

naglakbay ako
nagpalakas ako
humahanap ako
pero wala na kayo

sino ka (sino ako)
hindi kita kilala
hindi ko na masabi
kung ikaw yung hinahanap ko
kung ikaw yung sinungaling
kung ikaw ang para sakin

sino ka?

masaya
ka na ba
masaya
na ako
totoo ba
sigurado ba

tumakbo
sa gabi
umalis
bilisin
pumunta na tayo
pumunta na tayo

masaya

minsan
hindi ko na alam
saan ako pupunta
nasaan ba yung daan

ito ba
hindi ko na ma kita
hindi ko na ma sabi 
kung tutuo ba

minsan

hello to your girl! ft. JJ

way back then
i used to sit and pretend
all the lies id admit
all this burden and sin
im getting tired of it
why you smell like gin?
lied to all of those close to you
lied to all of your kin

oh, all the pain
all alone in the rain
aim the gun at your head
should it go through your brain?

oh, what a shame 
you shot yourself in the neck
but from here you're alone
what's coming next?

only cared about checks
bet you'd sell your soul 
to be the best of the best

all the pain in your chest
cannot contain it
shame it, truly is
you fell in, the abyss
the darkness consuming
will you let it win?

will you let it win?

sitting here quietly
in my despair
while you are there laughing
i stare and stare

it's fair
it's not
i'd think a lot
if roses turned grey
fell dead and they rot

still holding it in
for a while now it's been
3 years i think? 
who knows, seven or eight

but maybe it's worth it
it's all up to fate
whatever it is
i'll destroy and create

despite that we'll all just rot someday
contemplate it or not
you'll just fade away
i think, i am
it's fake
like them

the beat of my heart
will end again

and this poem i made
just especially for you
i've been stuck way too long
so this time i'll be true

this is the end
the end of the fall and
i dedicate this message:
to the embodiment of my sorrows

embodiment of my sorrows

** original song credits go fully to The 1975.

i dont want your body
but i hate to think about you
with somebody else
our love has gone cold
you're intertwining your soul
with somebody else

somebody else, the 1975

i, will fly away
into a place
far from this world of torment
i, will fly away
to somewhere safe
somewhere i can lay in

i'll fly away 
and dissipate
to meditate
all of this
will complicate 
mix with my inner traits

i'll fly away
just for a day 
or maybe more
but what's for sure
is that i pray you're always safe

i always pray 
i pray and hope He's listening
and though i say 
"i want to die"
and though I cry
and always think
"i'm not okay"
i have no right to insult
all the sacrifices for me
why can't i see

all the things my momma did 
just to raise a kid
all the weight she done carried
all the pain she done buried
so that i could have a roof
that's sacrifice, real and true

so why am i complaining
i am not forsaken
i've dealt a lot at least i think
it may just be my head
it always lies 
at least it tries
to make me compromise
give up my truths

but i gotta maintain
live with the pain
don't lose myself
it's all i got
i only have myself
even on the day i rot
so fly away or not
i'll keep me in my thoughts

i, will fly away
into a place
far from this world of torment
i, will fly away
to somewhere safe
somewhere i can lay in

fly away

stay lookin at me uh yuh
depression machine uh yuh
just stay in vicinity 
you will feel energy
you cannot breathe uh yuh

just stay in your lane uh yuh
feel all of the pain uh yuh
just kidding i am, 
fly you to japan
along with your fam-i-ly

your mother is fat uh yuh
just kidding i am uh yuh
or am i just joking
she's got a real problem
diabetes uh yuh

within my soul 
is sadness and jokes
maybe to cope
or maybe to reap
all of the seeds
that i have sown
they have been blown 
away by the wind
divide those legs
call it dividend
what's up lil shawty
can i dm?

stay lookin at me uh yuh
depression machine uh yuh
just stay in vicinity 
you will feel energy
you cannot breathe uh yuh

just stay in your lane uh yuh
feel all of the pain uh yuh
just kidding i am, 
fly you to japan
along with your fam-i-ly

your mother is fat uh yuh
just kidding i am uh yuh
or am i just joking
she's got a real problem
diabetes uh yuh

-

stream pt.2 (https://soundcloud.com/ayjezzz/whatdoititlethistoo)

whatdoititlethis

kiss kill im stealin yo girl
like a left right
show her how i won't lie
gonna show her, real ride
shawty like an up down
taking her to down town

she won't be back with you
you're just a clown frown

kiss kill im stealin yo girl
like a left right
self-sufficient gold mine
bro i swear she so fine
shawty like an up down
taking her to down town

i swear she's glowing 
i'll give her a gold crown

ocean eyes 
all mine
say hello
same time
like i'm joji
give attention
you're my drug
like deep injection
88 are you niki
i wish i could give you
(di-)

kiss kill im stealin yo girl
like a left right
show her how i won't lie
gonna show her, real ride
shawty like an up down
taking her to down town

she won't be back with you
you're just a clown frown

kiss kill im stealin yo girl
like a left right
self-sufficient gold mine
bro i swear she so fine
shawty like an up down
taking her to down town

i swear she's glowing 
i'll give her a gold crown

KissKillSteal!

i want u 
or maybe i don't?

i'd kill for u
or maybe i won't

i'm stuck on u
or maybe i'm not

but in the end 
i am all that i got

i want u

what you will be hearing, comes from within my soul. 
i am hiding nothing. this is me, nothing else. enjoy.

the intro

ikaw na ang
pinaka
maganda na dalaga

-
heehee
original: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1x_x1rj3Yw)

dalaga, arvey

the reason why
my world kept on spinning 
for a while it revolved 
with an ocean of tears i bawled
and i crawled in desparation 

and finally one day,
i arrived at the revelation

you were a fad 
an obsession 
add your name 
to my collection of 
thoughts that keep me up

bad luck  

while i continue to stare
i'm only hurting myself 
i'm draining life force
allowing no one to help

it's my pain 
don't carry it
i'll hold the weight
i'll bury it

won't hesitate
alleviate 
i'll demonstrate
my willingness 
to be a martyr
so in the end 
a final message i'll send

do not resuscitate
i'll accept my fate
the blame on no one but i
i am the reason i die
for a purpose i was begun
and for a purpose i'll end
a purpose for everything
we cannot comprehend

it comes

the clock is ticking
and waiting for me
whether for decades more 
or only seconds are left 
all that awaits us in the end
is our final breath

final breath

I wanna see her again
Maybe, I'll just be a friend
Or a lover to lean on
I'm catching the pieces again
Of a heart that would like to pretend
That it isn't bleeding

Say you'll call me, baby
Tell me you'll be okay
If I leave you alone today

- 
this is a cover.
original: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfUeYV_Tx9E)

call me, keshi

walking
talking
laughing
reaction
a facial
expression
laughter
disaster
backwards
it's spelt out
a name 
like cobain
blow out brains
call shotgun
don't got one
maybe for the fun
i'll buy one!

May's disaster
it's a cynical thing
a quick moving pace 
nothing stays the same

rollercoaster
it's all over the place
once up, next low
next thing you know

it's gone

May's disaster

shawty lookin cute uh yuh
that's the truth huh?
pull up on ya momma
on osama
like i'm zoom!

like i'm chilling
i'm not trippin
but i'm trimming down these lines

it's not good to second guess 
or you'll run out of time

i turn isis
into was was 
one day yeah you'll see
are we playing block game?
break you like a tree

i smell cap in here
or maybe it's your fear
or maybe you haven't showered
honestly that's weird (please shower)

so back to what i was saying
i would punch you like a tree
who'd they see your girl with?
oops was that me?

how delightful
how insightful
shawty's truly like a meal
like tupac once said
"stream kiss kill steal"  

shawty lookin cute uh yuh
that's the truth huh?
pull up on ya momma
on osama
like i'm zoom!

like i'm chilling
i'm not trippin
but i'm trimming down these lines

it's not good to second guess 
or you'll run out of time

(interlude)

shawty lookin cute uh yuh
that's the truth huh?
pull up on ya momma
on osama
like i'm zoom!

like i'm chilling
i'm not trippin
but i'm trimming down these lines

it's not good to second guess 
or you'll run out of time

shawty lookin fine uh yuh 
is she mine huh? 
pull up 88 on zefanya
get in line!

might be tripping
might be feeling
lots of things inside

but one day 
i promise an asian cutie will be mine

-

stream pt.1: (https://soundcloud.com/ayjezzz/whatdoititlethis?in=ayjezzz/sets/within-my-soul)

whatdoititlethis pt.2

about time i posted this 
-
asian girl
my demise
yellow skin
slanted eyes
eating rice
she'll suffice
yellow only
favorite type

she must be shorter
must be cute
i hope and pray 
that she's not mute

she pulls in bread
makes house a home
got ocean eyes
to drown my soul

got me attached 
like a firm latch
velcro type beat
yeah it's whack

yeah think about it all day 
what am i going to say 
i might just say some random things
either way just to grab attention

i'll try confession
if it won't work 
all y'all will know is that
she's an 

(x2)

ASIAN GIRL!

thinking about all the times long gone
and i wonder if you 
ever think of calling

have you ever fallen, in love?

you were nothing more than a friend
but how could i ever pretend
i wanted it to end
oh i never wanted it to end

season's change
nothing feels the same
i've dug my nails into my arms
can you feel my scars?

i'm the one to blame
'cause i'm the one that took your heart

i never wanted it to end

pull up in a drop top
they lookin my way
i asked how they found me
but they wouldn't say

i've been running, running, running,
i'm trying to escape 

i've been searching, searching, searching,
for a way out this place

where do i go?
where do i run?
i just wanna get away

i've been running, running running, 
i'm trying to escape

i've been lost for some years now
but i'm stuck in a cage
can somebody free me?
unshackle my chains

i've been running, running, running,
i'm trying to escape 

i've been searching, searching, searching,
for a way out this place

where do i go?
where do i run?
i just wanna get away

i've been running, running running, 
i'm trying to escape

escape

co-written by audracity.
-
lack of passion
feeling so empty
finding my direction
embracing the tranquility 
i'm sitting in the dark
and the silence is consuming
i'm lost in my thoughts
all i need is serendipity

i don't know what i'm doing
i don't know where to go
i'm falling in the black
and i think i'm losing hope

i'm searching for the answers
to the questions i impose
impossible
improbable
i think life's a joke

lack of passion
feeling so empty
finding my direction
embracing the tranquility 
i'm sitting in the dark
and the silence is consuming
i'm lost in my thoughts
all i need is serendipity

lack of passion; serendipity

hello friend (intro)

spending all my nights alone, waiting for you to call me
you're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep
tell me what I'm waiting for
tell me what I'm waiting for
i know it's hard, but we need each other
i know it's hard, but we need each other
- 
i wanna do more covers is that ok with u
original: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2eG5Bty8Z0Z)

sugar, brockhampton

this will be the end, for now. 
i need time to evolute my mind.

- 

(https://azrayje.tumblr.com/)

GOLDEN EYE

drifting away
to another land
far from this place
i'm tired of the race

triple ex sent huh
no regrets huh
sms 
texting 
i just wanna go to bed

in her bed slept huh
no regrets huh
woke up kinda early
and there's something in my head huh

thinking 'bout you
and i swear i can't get rid of it
dreaming 'bout you
and i swear i can't wake up from it

o' what would i do
if i could get rid of you
anything and everything
sky is the limit and
finding what's important
then suddenly you're falling again
falling again
in the never ending trend  

drifting away
to another land
far from this place
i'm tired of the race

24/7

// top vocals are over bottom vocals //

[top vocals]
i'm not really feeling myself 
if i'll be honest
feeling like i can't feel at all
maybe i forgot 
how to love a little
cry a little
die a little
smile a little
look into your eyes 
and i lose myself a little

[bottom vocals]
you know the real me
i know the real you
you wanna trust me, baby
i wanna trust you
tell me all your secrets
i'll tell you all of mine
i'll go first, did you know i over-analyze?

[top vocals]
and shawty said i'm complicated
that's understandable
she can see who i truly am 
that's impossible
improbable
what ever were the chances
to find out there, a person
who won't use you for advantages

[bottom vocals]
you could see right through me, girl
you could see right through my pure disguise
you could see right through me, girl
you could see right through

you could see right through me, girl
you could see right through my pure disguise
you could see right through me, girl
you could see right through
you

you found the key to the 
lock of my soul
if i'll be honest
feeling like you changed me a lot
you taught me how to 
how to love a little
cry a little
smile a little
die a little

look into your eyes 
and i lose myself a little

and shawty said i'm complicated
that's understandable
she can see who i truly am 
that's impossible
improbable
what ever were the chances
to find out there, a person
who won't use you for advantages

and shawty said i'm complicated
that's understandable
she can see who i truly am 
that's impossible
improbable
what ever were the chances?

to find out there, a person
who surpasses even standards

youknowtherealme*

5 centimeters apart 
distances? they're so far
oh i would go to war
if it would fix all my scars

// top vocals are over bottom vocals //

[top vocals]
she's nothing like my ex
'cause lil shawty drip like water
call her beyblade   
'cause her top
game 
better 
than a dollar
call her anion 
'cause that's negative
she sleep
gave her a sedative
im better than those others
in ya dm  
ima reverend
pull up to my service
i just blessed you
call it heaven and
please give me a chance
swear that i could change your life
i know you've mistreated
i swear that i could treat you right


[bottom vocals]
game we playing 
solo
riding lonely
on the road
where does it lead?
i don't know
an empty exit 
like my soul
far apart
hands within range
but i'm drowning in the tar
bottomed
black sky
raining 
on my head
wish that i was dead
fading, drifting, falling
and i wonder
what's wrong with my head?

5 centimeters apart 
distances? they're so far
oh i would go to war
if it would fix all my scars

5 centimeters apart

mask lifted up
sky's all above
i know
i'm opened up 
thoughts run amok

vulnerable
vulnerable
you make me
vulnerable 
vulnerable

glass ceiling
shattered dreams thinking 
wondering
where did they all go 
are they still following?

have you opened up your mind?
or unlocked the master key?
are you trapped inside a cage?
...

vulnerable
vulnerable
you make me
vulnerable 
vulnerable

vulnerable (interlude) - ft. baisemaine

spitting all the truth in my head
please stop complaining
bullet to the base of my skull
maybe i'll say it
"please oh please
i truly care for my life
save me from this fate
i'll turn my wrongs to a right" 

no hesitation
speak your mind
like you're talking to 
Obama, the president
your Father, the reverend

please make yourself at home
take a seat on the couch
while you sit they got the clip
and you know what that's about

black shirt around your eyes
so you can't see what they see
gun now pointed at your heart 
so you can't be 
if you don't speak 
and so 
you realize 
how useless your attempts are

how futile
if you die 

how either way 
if you lie
compromise

don't speak your mind

try

don't speak your mind

at the end of the day 
once everyone's left
you turn off your lights
you say "i'm going to bed"
then you stare at ceiling for a bit
and recollect
do you remember that day?
the tears that you wept?

i'm feeling kinda numb to the feeling
i truly hate it 
then it grows, losing my sanity
i don't need no medication 

losing track of time 
and it's killing 
me by the minute
what'll happen first
lose my chance 
or try and take it
 
when i'm alone 
who do i call?
who do i call?
at the end of it all
who do i call?
i don't want to fall
who should  i call?

who do i call?

a place for me to express a fun hobby of mine

azra [MIA]

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