To be honest with you
I'm not even mad
No I just wish I was
Instead of disappointed

No hard feelings
But I take it to heart
No offence
But it takes two hearts 
To love

The greatest conversation
That I ever had
Was of moving in
Sharing a bed

Or is that a 
False memory?
I don't know if that
Was even us

I wonder what you dream now
You're without me
Mine are vivid and broken
And you're a reoccurring theme

Why is it 
I am being haunted?
Is this
What you wanted?

I still have your picture
Crumpled in my wallet
And maybe you had a point my friend,
Maybe you had a point

Two Hearts

In her messy room she can't move
Her heart's broken... split ends
Toner in her hair but who cares?
When she becomes blonde, she'll be gone
She'll be gone

Suicide, Suicide, Suicide
She's suicide blonde now

Her boyfriend left, she's bereft
Bleach on her head stains the bed
She's getting good at this
She should do mine sometime
Sometime

Suicide, Suicide, Suicide
She's suicide blonde now

Suicide Blonde

I forged the big picture in invisible ink
I wonder what the artist turned artless thinks

Reverse Transverberation demo

The winter that I knew her
With her poison up in Oregon
Distressed oak on the bleak coast
Where the waves carve rocks to sawtooth

Her wide eyes diffused daylight
In the flood plane I drove all night
Hid in trunks of rotting redwood
In the green moss as the wind crooned

In the cold sand, stinging sea breeze
Amongst detritus on a dark beach
On the way out, south of ashland
The snowflakes shred her pale hands

The trees wind out the rearview
If you look back you can't see her
The last exit, she changed there
Into a labyrinth of ornate mirrors

I want her poison now

A broke blonde on my brass bed
I gave her new smiles, gave her new friends
Kissed her doll mouth in my dark house
She was a slim chance and she's gone now

She was so close, a stone's throw
'Cross the river where I pray for
A new rain to call her
Reanimated from the waters

I want her poison now

Poison Oak

i'm at the mercy of an unseen force
every curse has its blessing
every blessing has its curse
please don't remember me at my worst
otherwise it'll just hurt

comin on to greener fields
wonder if this is my last meal
why cant you fall head over heels
no more negotiatin'
no more making deals

strummin on my guitar
driving around in my old car
suddenly i feel just like an old star
life's been coming at me way too hard

i'ma take it all in stride
don't know if i wanna make you my bride
i just don't wanna lie
or i'll be ashamed of my life

--
rec jan 2023

Steakfry - Green Fields

something in the water
something in the sky
something i can't resist
keeping me locked inside

something in these pills
now I can't feel at all
giving me some chills
making my skin crawl

one thousand black sheep
under the black sun
enslaved and slaughtered
beating satan's drum

trails in the sky
capturing my eye
blood raining down
rivers run dry

nothing is safe
nowhere to lay
not even a place
to go hide away

one thousand black sheep
under the black sun
enslaved and slaughtered
beating satan's drum
--
rec nov '22

Steakfry - Black Sheep

Steakfry - I'D TEAR THE WORLD IN 2 4 U

these thoughts in my head are fuckin toxic
this hole in my heart is getting obnoxious
if you go this way i have the knowledge
to keep you at bay you must acknowledge

i ain't got nothin
nothin to lose
i ain't got nothin
except for the nowhere blues
i ain't got nothin
nothin to lose
i ain't got nothin
except for the nowhere blues

if you want some ripe fruit oh you must be
experienced and clad so scantily 
reach out your hand, take the knowledge from me
put it in your head turn it into somethin
somethin....

i ain't got nothin
nothin to lose
i ain't got nothin
except for the nowhere blues
i ain't got nothin
nothin to lose
i ain't got nothin
except for the nowhere blues

Steakfry - Nowhere Blues

lost for miles
been awhile
i've been around
setting tiles, organizing files

wind is blowin
waters flowin
nature's going
on and on

life's so simple
blink your eyes and it's gone
life's so simple
it goes on and on and on

lost for miles
left for dead
i can't escape
this world i'm living in

watching the sunset
bleed the blue from the sky
enjoying the ride
with my oh so weary eyes

life's so simple
blink your eyes and it's gone
life's so simple
it goes on and on and on

on and on and on and on and on and on

Steakfry - Life Is Simple

I'm am fading to gray
I've been burning out the day
I'm just looking at the sky
I've got two knives for eyes

And a gun for a heart
I only fire it in the dark
Oh to light the way in-between
All the pain and apathy

That's the way everything falls
Into place and crushes all
Here I am trying to make my way
To the promised land if it ain't too late

I just want some tenderness
I'll take whatever I can get
I need someone with tenderness
Open the gates I'm comin in

I just want happiness
I'll believe when I get my hands on it
I just want
To slow it down
Implode my life til it comes around

Steakfry - Tenderness

give me a reason
to keep on breathing
coulda had it my way
but my way's shot

i drank from the chalice
gave my life to malice
i was the only cynic
in your ancient arms

i houdini'd my love
my hedonic mileage
gave me a face
with a forgotten name

we can't go back
to the promised land
but we'll be redeemed
in the golden light

i had a dream
we were 16
every single thing burnt with meaning

this dead end decay
ruins of a highway
some summer
i knew someone well

bone tired crashes
operatic ashes
past forsaken towns
out  on the hunger fields

godspeed to no one
they're cryogenically frozen
with weapons lurking
out in plain sight

they threw us in rivers
in chains of silver
left us for dead
under the blood moon night

i had a dream 
we were 16
every single thing burnt with meaning

Weapons Lurking

calling up Jeff 
the guy with the stuff 
i hand him the money
i see him more than anyone
it's not funny
calling him up last minute 
saying we gotta meet up in a rush
Jeff doesn't care as long as it all works out

i look at Jeff with a smile on my face
cuz i cannot wait to be put back in my place 

every month 
i gotta pay the bills and rent 
but most importantly can't forget
to pay jeff
cuz that's what'll make him happy
put that little smile on his face
Jeff did it just the other day

i look at Jeff with a smile on my face
cuz i cannot wait to be put back in my place 

ok so it's thanksgiving
just wanted to say a couple nice things to Jeff
youre tall and you spent some time
in the psychiatric ward of the hospital
but who else is up for me like him
he takes me on a shopping spree
for a new high
every time

i look at Jeff with a smile on my face
cuz i cannot wait to be put back in my place

Jeff

i live in ages
come to pass
i mourn the death of those alive
as their modern visage cracks

i know they'll put me
in a home
where all the has been actors 
unmasked as never weres go

find me a girl
with roses in her eyes
who lives her life 
in black and white
and to fall in love
it only takes one kiss
i'd throw my life away
for any time but this

i guess i wanted
to leave
my body for the night
and see my face up on the screen
i guess i wanted
to be
an actor for the night
and have my place up on the screen

now that i think
about it i once had her
a hawksian girl
in technicolor grandeur
i'd burn the whole town
down just to get her back
i used to be the icon
but now i'm the laugh track 

i guess i won the
award
actor of the year
on her full cutting room floor

Golden Age of Never Weres

sorry i couldn't be better
sorry my voice is spent
sorry i misplaced your love
don't know where any of my shit went

something erased the days
bathed them in the night
left here this dark object
with familiar outline and height

you gave me the flame in your chest
i gave you a void i can't repossess
i made you a trade i can't annul
it's blood welded, you paid in full

i'm no angel
i'm infection in disguise
i see you know it in your eyes
in my dreams where you haunt me

i don't recall their names
i was just passing through
but they stole the rest of what i had
and their beauty just paled to you

i know i deserve this dark
missing hissing light from your eyes
i lost the only thing that i loved
any else's a consolation prize

you gave me the flame in your chest
i gave you a void i can't repossess
i made you a trade i can't annul
it's blood welded, you paid in full

i'm no angel
i'm infection in disguise
i see you know it in your eyes
it's written in the skies
you gave your love to my
beauty turned inverse
to in the end receive
nothing in return
should've known better
should've known better
than to trust my cripple heart

it's the art of losing
you
and everything else i ever had

No Angel

Truck shit you either know or you don't

I don't park in no lines
I drive on curbs
Ignore speed signs 
Thru the suburbs
But it's all good
Its just truck shit 
Some feeble minds 
Can't understand it

My truck is old
Gets 10 in town 
Messed up exhaust
Is making sounds
The tach don't read
And the paints messed up 
Transmission leaks
But I love my truck 

I'm on truck shit

Need to find out
How many chicks 
My crew cab
Can fit inside it 
It's so reliable 
Pretty fast 
Always gets me
To the bar and back

I believe in fate 
I believe in luck
I thank the Lord
For granting me a truck
When everyone tells you to car
You know you have to truck
You know its time to truck

I'm on my truck shit

Just beyond the threshold of life 
I see your icon dancing in the night
4 wheels 4 high 4 lo
Then you shift it into drive 
We haul ass we burn gas
We'll see how long the freedom fuckin lasts 
New paint on old truck
Oil pan is full of leaked luck 
I don't know if this is it
But I'm about to do some truck shit

Truck Shit

Vacant Fronts

dark and brooding 
i count the cuts
25 good ones 
and the rest is rust

faustian
bargain bin
an invitation
to oblivion

poisonous
elements
steam pistons
machine gun out the venom lips

dark and brooding 
i count the cuts
25 good ones 
then you turn to dust

vanish act
shadowgraphed
the botched escape
of some lesser half

cosmic grief
submit deceived
bleeding in reverse
it's time to leave

dark and brooding 
i count the cuts
25 good ones 
and the rest is rust

written on the classic page
it is written in the muses lore

Counted Cuts

Scrimshaw Teeth V2

everywhere i go
bad thing follows me
seeking to collect
on its reckoning

to veil it's face
and disappear again 
to subsist on nothing
returned to its den

to degrade the souls
out on these flatlands
halfway from here to
portable ruin

to run out my clock
with exotic technology
leave a quicksand of a shadow
of a century 

it's only desert for you now
it's only desert in your home town
it's only desert from here on out
I'll walk the sands as it runs out

turning back the sands
bondage readorned
underneath the lash of
collosus reformed

he desolates our home
with exotic technology 
leaves a quicksand of a shadow
of a century 

it's only desert for you now
it's only desert in your home town
it's only desert from here on out
I'll walk the sands as they run out

it's only desert for you



Exotic Technology

End Times

she once had eyes
for only me
when i met her
down by the sea

in ancient chill
we were young
under judgement
of the sun

her skin was blanched
her hair flowed free
every cell she had
cried for me

she gave complete
i gave her half
she gave me her heart 
and i just laughed

and laughed and laughed

mastered the art
of theme life

the men that i am
that i built out
of spare car parts
when flesh ran out

refurbd by blade
and old razors 
valley carved
by lost glacier

watch bullet now
self discharge
pierce trachea
of choking stars

comedy moon
daybreaks in half
apollo vanished
now i just laugh

and laughed and laughed

master the art
of theme life

Arizona Young

Pinned to spotlight

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