I want you to know that I absolutely accept and honor your feelings ha, and naiintindihan at nkikita ko your willingness to put labels on things. My viewpoint on confronting each other's parents hits an intimate chord saken kase it implies a high degree of respect and devotion sa families naten, sa beliefs, and not just to each other . Standing in front of our parents as a couple shempre means that we are prepared to go on this journey together sa gantong age, asking for their blessings and direction as we negotiate the challenges of life na. While the labels may come in time naman, what truly mattered to me is the depth of our connection and the sincerity of our intentions despite our difficult situation. I am aware naman of the consequences of the decisions we have taken. But rest assured, my luv—despite the fact that we have made mistakes along the way, it is our decision to grow from them that defines who we are. 

but if youre going to ask me naman why i love you. im not sure kung kailan pero i just know. Nahihirapan akong masabi in words and madescribe why I love you, pero it doesn't lessen how deeply I feel.
 I thought yung mga nagustuhn at i thought i "loved" before,akala ko they were my first love but i was wrong. i didnt even know what love was until i met you. 

Yung nararamdamn ko sayo is a natural, visceral feeling na dumating sakin effortlessly and doesn't require any thinking or rationalization. I know in my heart na I value you greatly, even though I don't have a listahan of reasons to give you. It's in the way that seeing you makes my heart skip a beat and how, in comparison to everything else, yung presence mo makes me feel happy and at ease. I just know, with every heartbeat, that I love you; I don't need to know why. And all I want was to ramdam the warmth of your love, to live my life with you, and to be near you. Together, or should i say separately na ba? na, we'll continue to honor each other, our families, and our faith as we walk this path separately, with God's guidance lighting the way.

i'm not sure when it began, but I know I was already in love with you / september 14, 2023

nagsimula to nung may sinend ka saken na old video mo nung junior high ka before na may slight mustache ka, HAHAHAHHA natuwa ako.  inimagine ko lng ulet na kung papatubuin mo na kaya pinpilit kita na wag ishave. poging pogi ako lalo na kung ngingiti ka asus sasabog na ata ako gusto nlng kita kurutin HAHAHHA after ilang months na napapayag kita at nasatisfy na ako, okay na ako hehe + i helped u pa to shave it sa la union, i was scared pa na baka mashave ko labi mo  si oa AHHAHAHH i remember nkita pa tayo ni nico sa cr tas ung itsura nia naweweirduhan kung ano ginagawa naten sa cr HAHAHHAH pero till now nmn gusto ko paden meron man o wala, gusto mo man o hindi bleh

a phase where my luv affair w/ur tiny mustache drives me t convince u na wag ishave / july29,2023

everytime i walk pass the men section sa sm or things i know ure interested in, i always thought to myself " bagay kay seth" " magugustuhan nia kaya to?"  " kung may pera lng ako binili ko na " kung sa pagkain naman pag may nakakain akong bago im thingking den  " ayaw nia ng ganto, kase mas  mahilig sya sa sweets" i wanted to try new things with you or atleast kasama moko when you try or do something, in that way mas nasasaksihan ko ung mga gusto at ayaw mo. hahaha anywaysss your birthday was coming up na so lahat talaga napapaisip ako kung ano gagawin ko to make you feel extra special sa birthday mo. i want to treat you and i dont want you to think of anything when ure with me that time, i want you to feel free kahit minsan, i want you to experience how i love, how i care how i see you na hindi ko naiparamdam the past months na ure trying pursue me. so i prepared months to earn and really think kung anong ibibigay sayo. after sometime nakadecide and plano nako what to do. naplano ko na on what to give you, where to bring you i was so excited back then kase i didnt ask or told anybody sa plano ko. it was just me and my tiktok search ideas (haha pero wala den ako nkita sa tiktok na i liked kse puro cheesy). i chose the tie & pin beacuse i know its not just a thingy na usual gift or dahil cute sya kaya ko binagay.i planned to buy it for you and you only . and  to remind you also na if you feel alone and discouraged, you know where to go. not to me, but to Him. i want to remind you sa pin na all of your talents and what you have, He can take it away from you and u must always be grateful for what He has given to you, dont take it for granted and it applies to other things also na you have today. the tie naman is i hope na a reminder sayo to keep your trust in Him. na kung suot mo sya, it will remind you the times na you were struggling so much but He was still there and gave you strength to continue. it may seem before na i just gave it because because pero i didnt told you abt this kse dpako ganon kaconfident in expressing it. hahahah anywayssssssss everything was going well sa plano but nung days before your birthday i had a slight problem na hindi ko maisagawa agad yung plano ko. nagooverthink and nafrufrustrate ako na baka hindi ko magawa or hindi ko mabigay . hindi ko magawa na makabili ng gamit kase yung cinommision ko di pa nasesend yung bayad saken hahah so i  contacted my client na if pwepwede isend nia na early on, pumayag nmn na sya isend pero nadelay delay kase nasa ibang bansa sya that time. still, andon pa den ung problem ko na i dont have any cash kse wala nden pasok that time and malapit na birthday mo wala pa ung naplano ko HAHHAH so i asked my closest friends if meron silang malelend saken hahaha pero parepareho kming  hampaslupa kaya wala den silang napahiram, my last resort was to ask my working sister if pwede ako makahiram then bayadan ko agad pagkadating ng payment ng client ko hahahaa. pumayag naman sya kahit mejo napaquestion baket aanhin ko dw ung ganong klseng amount hahahah. thenn ayonn the same day na binigay ni ate lumabas na ako. tas i was sure na na aayain kita after ko nabili. i guess my plan was a success naman kahit papano, right? HAHAHAHHA just wanted to share this with you kase everytime i think of it natatawa ako sa struggles ko non and how i was so so happy after we celebrated your birthday. I even called that closest friend to share na it was a success ahhahaha

the time i was preparing for your birthday/ july 7 2023

the song really felt like i was dreaming nung mga panahong toh. Production stuff, hatid pauwi nights, palagi tayong magkadikit sa room, it felt like i was dreaming na i didnt know na gragraduate ako ng senior high with you. meaning gragraduate na im thingking about you. lookong forward sa aten, sa possible future naten. felt like a dream na hindi ko inaakala na i'll witness myself. our story is very very different from others and i didnt expect it the first time you told me you liked me. the song and how you played it for me made me cry to this day na sinusulat ko to kase im reminiscing every moment of us whether masaya man o nakaklungkot. The nights na ihahatid moko then titignan ko muna kung may mga kakilala ako na baka makita tayo, pagkabyebye naten sa isat isa ramdam ko yung hug na hinahanap hanap ko at hug na gusto ko lng ibigay sayo. every hug naten when you hatid me, it felt really different, dko alam pano idedecribe pero ang alam ko lng kung pede lang kita mayakap pa ng matagal tgal during those moments at tayo lang andon? baka d na kita mabitawan non at d na sumakay ng jeep. kaya u know everytime na nakasakay nako, namimiss na agad kita na parang antagal naten nagkahiwalay. alam ko oa pakinggan pero ayun e. un nararamdaman ko na hindi ko maiexpress sayo fully. tho eto ako ngayon nakuha mo loob ko na konti konti mas nagiging expressive na on how i really feel sayo. and pag andto ka sa apartment ansaya saya ko, d lang minsan halata. especially nung unang gabi natin dto. kinakabahan ako non, i dont know how to act actually, hindi ko alam nararamdan ko, pero i just knew na im happy and safe with you. i remember todo aya ka pa na alis nako sa kusina e sabi ko "dto muna ako, mauna ka na dun" pero ikaw papalambing na lumipat na ahahha asuss asus. tapos nung gabi na nagkikilitian na tayo sa sofa halos mahulog na tayo kainis HAHAHAH pero mas strong kase akong ihold non kaya luge ka hahhahah grrrr pero nababadtrip paden ako wala na kiliti mo kaya ako na luge sayo jcnddjvncd hindi hindi ko makakalimutan ung badtrip ko jan che! 
kaya lahat lahat lahat nagflaflashback everytime i hear this song. mas lalong  kumikirot when i hear your version of the song.

one of your songs that made me cry / may 2, 2023

june 19 2023 
the first time i tried to kiss you on the cheek,
i was planning to do it nung asa kalugong pa tayo. if ure going to view again ung videos naten nung 19th birthday mo, u'll see how i was trying to capture it on video pero umuurong palagi ung nguso ko when i "go for it na eto na gagawin ko na" u'll see it pero la e mahina ako kase i know for sure d ko kakayanin ung hiya ko after ko gawen there nung nakaupo tyo sa picnic tables habang nilalaro ung mga cats . baka bigla kita takbuhan sa hiya at kilig. kaya nung paalis na tayo sa kalugong i was so dissaappointed sa sarili ko na d ko nagawa there at umurong ung kaluluwa ko kahit excited ako gawen nung i was planning it. i dont want paden na matapos araw na hindi ko magawa. so i went with the pinaka safe na method para d kita takbuhan. we went na sa capitol, You said goodbye na saken, nagpara ka na ng jeep,  we hugged again then gave you na my last birthday gift before ur day ended. 

august 8,2023 
our first

her music always makes me think of you *iykyk / april 15, 2023

february 25,2023 dagupan
i wondered nung nasa dagupan tayo together just admiring the waves,apakaganda ng waves non, anlalaki and ang ganda ng pakiramdam na andon lng nakaupo staring the view, mas nakakgaan dahil katabi kita and i was wondering silently na hanggang kailan kaya tayo? hanggag kailan kaya ung nararamdaman mo saken? baka eventually after ilang months, wala k n mararamdaman saken. and suddenly youre gonna pull yourself away saken hanggang ako na ung lalayo sayo.   i was thingking abt it  that time pero at the same time being beside you gave me comfort na andito ka for me, andto ka katabi ko, pinaparamdam saken na mahalaga ako sayo. i felt loved by you. i felt happy and safe with you. and i kept on telling myself kahit walang kasiguraduhan, i will keep you and i will also make you completety feel safe with me when the time comes.

july 18,2023 la union
that morning when we were just standing sa shore and your hands r wrapped around me. ung time na may video kinuhanan si irish. that moment, i was thingking na kung hanggang kailan ka saken? hanggang kailan tayo magmamahalan? hanggang kailan ko maipaparamdam sayo na andito ako? hanggang kailan tayo maghahawak ng kamay? ikaw na ba? ikaw na ba mapapakilala ko? ikaw na ba hihingi ng permission sa parents ko soon? sabay na ba tayo na ifaface and struggles naten in life kahit na asa gantong age palang tayo? tayo na ba? i was silently asking ky Lord that time about us. about what plans He has for us.  then it led me to think  abt myself  also that caused me na to cry that time and share it with you. i guess i made it a sign kay Lord again na  He gave me you and u were right there to answer my questions. the time went by so fast na i didnt want to leave you sana pero i needed to. you dont know much it mattered to me na i questioned myself to God pero He instantly gave me answers i needed to hear. Until  I  really do believed na na we not just met dahil lang sa tukso or nadala lang ganon. we not just met dahil lang gusto mo ako. He gave me you. He gave us a chance. He gave us a chance to love diffrently at a young age in this innocent world.

wish we could sit on the beach together once again and listen to you sing / january 21, 2023

nagbabackread ako sa messages naten  sa different phases na dinaanan nten nung 2023, and up until now, kinikilig paden ako sa conversations naten. natatawa paden ako sa inside jokes naten and yung mga conversations na apakapriceless. ngumingiti nga nnmn ako magisa habng binabasa lang e kahit yung conversations naten na very senti and emotional, hanggang ngayon, hanggang ngyon i feel like im still in the moment. kahit hindi tayo madalas magcall, kahit hindi tayo madalas magkita, yung conversations in person/chat naten r very precious to met kase almost all of it was meaningful and hindi lang sya kung ano anong convo. i mean like kung maguusp tyo abt serious matters, either i express my thoughts also, i listen , i learn something from it or i look through it in another perspective. i wanted to learn new things with you, i wanted to open my mind through the things na i was blinded and you were there at the right moment to help me realize things den. i always tell you na i really appreciate everything you do for me and for us kahit nasasaktan ka, kahit na natatakot kang may magawa or masabi then you'll lose me na. i know seth. i know how much it cost you den to try to be with me.   U dont know how much i appreciate everything. i really cant express it into words pero if i am given  the chance to pick a choice on how i can express my love and appreciation between giving you lots of hugs and kisses or giving gifts which is one of my love language simula nung elem pako hahahah mahirap na tanong for me pero i'd choose both pero kung isa lang talaga, it would be giving you lots of hugs and kisses.kaya ni di kita mabitawan nung saturday e . kase i realized na since it was my first time doing both with a boy khit sa cheeck lng yan (ps ikaw nga una ko sa lahat) i discovered sa sarili ko na i love expressing it that way. i noticed how ung nafefeel ko evrytime i do it, it felt love. i give hugs and kisses naman sa friends ko pero ours really felt something na in comparison, when i kiss and hug my friends, it was like i just do it pero wala yung feeling of love na love haha i cant describe it, pero yung aten i realized after we did it na when you love and express it iba sa feeling e thats why everytime, i get and give kisses to you and to my friends i learned and i started to feel the genuine" love" already while expressing it. teka weird pagkakaexplain wait pano ba uhmm.. ngayon, natutunan kong humalik at yumakap ng with genuine love simula nung ginawa ko sya sayo. sa gift giving naman, it will always remain saken kahit minsan naghihingalo na ung bulsa ko pero i will make ways to still do it kase if not parang ang feeling ko pag d ako nakapgbigay hindi ko fully naexpress yung nilalaman ng heart at utak ko, esp pag regaregalo naeexcite ako on what to give, ano kayang ang magugustuhan mo, ano kaya yung magagamit mo, ano kaya yung machecherish mo, ano ung may meaning sayo mga ganon, and my gift giving thing is something na hindi ko ipagkakait sayo + isa natong page nato. che balak mo pa hindi kunin ung keychain kainis ka

told you i was protecting my shield, yet you responded with this instead / january 16, 2023

not sure kung kailan exact pero eto ung mga time na nakikita ko push na push ka talaga to have a conversation with me. nakikita ko kung pano ka nagtrtry to have small interactions with me or kahit manlang makausap ako, pipicture ka pa sa phone ko para isend ko sa tg o makatabi manlang ako, matanong kung kamusta ako.  alalang alala ko pa na nagtaka ako bat mo ako finollow non sa dump ko, nagwowonder ako non pake elam mo saken at pati dump ko ff mo? until hinayaan lng kita sa requests ko hanggng sa umamin ka. hahaha i saw and noticed how you really put into effort ung pagsama sa grupo ko kahit na nagtataka sila minsan. i noticed how yung small gestures mo tuwing magkasama tayo and being close saken makes me feel safe when im with u. hahanapin kita sa classroom non. kept wondering asan ka, ano ginagawa mo. alalang alala ko bwat details and exact scenario nung moments na aasarin tayo o mangaasar tayo ng kaklse, ihahatid moko pauwi kahit ayoko na ihatid moko. ayoko ihatid moko kase sabi ko nga sayo ayoko masanay then eventually  i know na it'll never happen again. but u still insisted kahit malayo paradahan mo samin. u still made so much effort to make me feel safe with you. i remember it den one time na i didnt hug you once sa magsaysaay like i used to, finist bump ko lng chest mo hahaha because masyado na kita iniispoil. i didnt realize after i got home and nagsorry ka na u were thingking about what i did. i didnt realize agad abt it na habang papunta ka sa paradahan mo, u were thingking na bat ganon ginawa ko. kaya i really felt bad after it, and reminded u na to not overthink abt it kase sa intention ko lang was masyado nakita naspospoil derederetyo and para d ka makampante things like dat.HAHAHAH mejo hard to get pero pag nagiging easy ako ginigising ako ng pagiging hard to get attitude ko. si oa. ayon HAHAHHA   i kept it to myself na it kepts reminding me now how  very happy i was those times.  times na i keep on refraining myself to show it kase ayoko ko pa ipakita na kuha mo nako. pero sa totoo lang, lahat. lahat lahat i saw it, i just acted like it didnt bother me that much. i acted like i was blind to see everything pero u dont know how much impact it gave me sa nararamdamn ko sayo ngayon.

my kilig made me block you on telegram / december 19, 2022

january 12,2023 
u took the courage na kumanta sa harap para sa subject ni sir ariel. pero dahil supportive classmates naten  gumawa pa sila ng space para maitapat ako sayo nung nagigitara ka sa harap habang kinakanta ung "sila". hindi ko mapigilan ung kilig ko non alam mo ba yon at naiinis ako na kitang kita na kinikilig ako non. sabi ko nga sa sarili non e buti nlng nakamask ako, slightly naitago ung abot tenga ngiti ko don. kukusikusilap lang ako pero hindi ko na kaya magpigil hanggang sa nangamatis nako. hahahaah i kept on telling you na ayoko makita ung videos kase nga nagiging maingat ako sa actions ko sayo . pero looking back at it, i can tell na we really are happy that time pero palihim.

sa isang munting harana para kay "vonde" / december 16,2022

production days early 2023
im letting you na to have slight access saken. letting you touch me, hug me, started to feel more comfortble around you na. those times it was like just the two of us. kahit alam ko na ung mga tingin ng kaklse naten, ung asar nila saten, i started not to care anymore kung ano sasabihin nila or kung ano tingin nila. what i know lang is im comftble wid you, i want to stay close to you, i want to be with you.

cali sent me this a day before my birthday / december 16, 2022

MY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY DECEMBER 17,2022.
I turned eighteen when the clock struck twelve. My first notification was from you. I got a happy birthday message from you the first time. yet, this isn't just any old birthday greeting. I actually started crying when you recorded a heartfelt message. nonetheless, your music filled the tears with much joy instead nung paulit ulit kong pineplay. you dont how much you made my day. i know my response that time was not enough to show na naappreciate ko ng sobra kase im still pulling myself back. o dba umaabot sa ganon na im controlling myself na wag ipakita pero yon. the message and song gave me so much love and joy just to let u know againn. thankyou so much seth. i really appreciate the time and effort you made to make me smile kahit d ko pinpakita gaano pero my heart was very happy  that day . i wont forget it. thank you.

first time you sang for me / december 17, 2022

FIRST TIME WE HELD HANDS was nung after birthday celebration ni jury sa irisan. That was February 18,2023. I was so happy that moment and i dont really know what to feel nung nararamdaman kong tinatry mong hawakan kamay ko. we were sitting in the middle sa car nung ihahatid na tayo ng parents ni jury. Despite how chilly and dark it was, being next to you made me feel light and warm. and i noticed na u r trying to hold my hand, and binigyan kita ng challenge to make it not that easy for you dzuh. i was looking in the opposite direction to hide my totoong reaction. kunwari ka pa na nilalaro ung kamay ko hanggang sa magtapat na yung palms naten. Pero shempre pasimple ko inaalis until susubukan mo ulet. it lasted for about i dont know mybe 15-20 mins or so. until naalala ko malapit ka na ibaba, so sa continuous mong pagtatry, sinlide at i held your hand na. that moment, that moment na naghawak na, i just felt like the world was so slow yet so fast. i dont what it was pero what i know lng is ,  i cant really breathe properly, parang ang sikip sikip ng dibdib ko na cinoconvince ko sarili ko na magrelax and maging chill just to hide my true reaction, as always naman. 
i love the feeling of holding on to  you, i loved that it was you, after we dropped you off, i cant stop thingking abt it. i cant stop thingking about you. about us. para nga akong nababliw sa kilig e, d ko kinaya na isarili lang, i called my friends kinwento ko hanggang sa napagod sila sa kakadada ko. Thinking back on it makes me smile every time, even now. did you know ba na everytime i miss you,pagdidikitin ko ung kamay ko just to feel and witness again ung nafeel ko the exact moment we first held hands. shempre hindi mo yun alam kase duh bat ko ipapaalam noh.

first time we held hands / january 15,2023

in the same way like any other unsuccessful love story, i hope that in another lifetime, we'll find a way back to each other and make things right for us to end up together. for now, i'll continue to love you from afar until the end of time in this life, my beloved.Even though falling in love with you has been one of the most deep experiences of my life, I still feel pain because I might not be able to keep you. My love for you is strong despite the uncertain future we have ahead of us. I treasure every laugh, every sweet touch, and every moment we have spent together. As much as it hurts to know that our time together may be limited, I find comfort in the memories we've made and the love we've shared. Your presence has brought light into my life, and though I may not be able to grasp onto you forever, I will cherish you in my heart always. You have shown me the extent of my affection, and for that, I will always be grateful.

and here ends the story that never began

Popular tracks