I just want you to know kinda of a million things that I probably won’t ever say
But if you could say it first and I could just confirm I guess that would be okay
Because every time I’ve been vulnerable I just give the knife away
To be used against me at any moment and I just wanna feel safe
Are you safe babe?
Can we make space?
Don’t wanna save face 
Just want you, all of you
Do you want me?
Do you see the same shades of the galaxy?
Is this feeling real?
Am I only feeling what you want me to feel?
Are you safe babe?
In the sky the fireball gives way to something cool and welcoming 
The full moon dictates our souls entwines hearts its a reckoning 
But every time things are meant to be it doesn’t always mean forever 
Lessons learned then we move on but I was hoping this would be better

Are You Safe?

This is the way it feels when the pieces fit together
Like a collectible puzzle thats been waiting forever

Chorus 
Now my head is in the clouds
We got here, Idk how
But everything is better now

Ill bring the rhythm if you bring the beat
We’re making music that would knock em off their feet
I’ll bring the water if you bring the heat
Youre coming to me like a new melody

Better Now

Wrote this in May 

I’m so cool with being wrong 🤣

This Is Love

Def going to add background vocals to this at some point.

Scent

Forget Me Not

Right now I wish I would hear from you
I don't know what else I can do
It feels like a million years
In reality it's only days

I'm falling apart 
because I don't know 
where I stand inside your heart
Am I even there? Is all this real? Do you even care?

I feel alone, everything's going wrong
And I'm just gonna write another song
Cuz everything that is not right
Is keeping me up at night
Up at night

It's all in my head now
And I wish I was dead now
Cuz everything you said
it's in my head x3 yeah

When the day goes wrong I just want to call
But I'm not sure we're there yet cuz you told me not to fall
So since we're not feeling anything
I come home instead and sing
I don't want to push you away if you're trying to figure it out
But I know there is more we should probably talk about
Because the last time I saw you you wanted more
Then gave me less than before

I'm trying to get the pattern down
Down down down
Let's start a new pattern now
It doesn't matter now

This what the silence feels like
Cuz I know you're thinking of me too
But we both don't reach out
We both just stay down
We both just play games because we've been hurt too many times

Da da da da da da higher da da da 

Well I'll give you space to figure it out
Cuz I know what this is about
When you come back it will all be okay
I know how it felt just the other day
And I wanna see you again and again
I feel like you're becoming more than a friend 

Forget Me Not

Forget Me Not

Some paths are hidden and hollow
I wonder where this road leads
I’m not afraid to follow
When I’ve got you here with me

The truth is hard to swallow
This life’s full of in betweens
You’ve taught me not to wallow
Shown me a different scene

Ba dah, settle into me
Mm mm mm, my body
Can be your harmony
Lay your head and rest
Nuzzle in my chest
I’ll be what you need
I’ll be your harmony

A subtle voice begins to rise
No longer silenced or ashamed
It weaves a song across the skies
Every note is self-proclaimed

The string of sound catches your ear
Pulls you in and holds you tight
My kiss is the melody, your heartbeats the drum
Now baby let’s dance all night

Ba dah, settle into me
Mm mm mm, my body can be your harmony
We don’t need to rest
Let’s do what we do best
I’ll be what you need
I’ll be your harmony

I’ll be your harmony
You can put me on repeat
Can’t wait to take a seat
Yeah, you knock me off my feet

Ba dah, settle into me
Mm mm mm, my body can be your harmony
Lay back your head
Let me do the rest
I’ll be what you need
I’ll be your harmony

Harmony

Ok go louder

It’s time to do stuff when you’re creative
And if you do you might get a little too creative 
And you might wanna do a lot of paint 
And you will if you get too creative
You might have too much ideas
And do them
And you might just get the idea-a-as

Idea-a-as

And you will get the ideas because you will have ideas

Isi’s first song: Too Creative

When I look out the window there’s nothing to see anymore 
Where did it all go? Where is it all? Oh
Nothing’s the same as before

We can play outside but there’s a sadness on the wind
Can’t trust it, no, the water from the hose
The carousel has lost its spin

We all fall down you know
Around and round we go
Nothing stays, nothing grows

I watch him ride his bike down past the lamp post on our street
Where did the time go? He doesn’t even know
This isn’t the way it will always be
It’s not the same as it was for me

It’s always on my mind if this will enough
Will we be okay? Is this better than their way?
Is it all just growing up?

And the carousel
The summer wind
The fading sun
Kissing our skin
And the carousel 
Has lost its spin
Though we try
Again and again

Carousel

I just played guitar and stream of consciousness sang and this is what came out:

My son left the house that night and i wnet up to the shower 
thought i would start the weekend with a self care hour 
but instead i cried cried cried 
sat in the shower and i cried listened to damocles and cried my fuxking eyes out
 I thought id feel relief or 
Give myself what i need or 
go out and party or 
fuck people like a whore but 
instead i cried i cried i cried 
i cried so much the snot was going down the drain with the soap 
and i felt insane 
and i felt kinda lame 
and i felt like 
i dont have anyone to reach out to 
i dont have anyone i can trust 
i dont have anyone to reach out to 
i am always too much 
And i thought i was kind of over that
But im only over that when im
Appropriate
And inappropriately funny
Or useful
Or perfect
Just not human 
I cant be a human
Dont wanna be that
Never that
Never snot
Never crying 
That not me 
Thats everyone else around yeah
Cuz what is vulnerability but being human in front of another human being ( laughs)
And whats growing up with trauma but never knowing how to be vulnerable safely
And what is my life but never being sick in front of another person or letting them see me suffer
I realize how much of my life Ive lived alone
Dont even know why i have a fucking phone
And im not fucking depressed anymore i feel nothing at all
But i can feel so much joy
Just cant open the wall
The wall the wall the wall i built
Out of all the years of independent pain
Not just pain and joy too
My excitement has never been witnessed 
My beauty has never been witnessed
My sickness has never been witnessed 
My quirks have never been witnessed 
Me crying not really been witnessed
My humanity has never been witnessed 
Im alone in a room my entire fucking life 
And i dont know how to sleep at night
I dont know how to be supported or how to be helped
I can help everyone but myself
Everyone but myself
So 
Everything is fine
Everythings ok
I will get by
Day by day
I figure it all out
Ive got no choice 
I will take care of my son
And i will never let him see me fall
I never fail, ill never fail
I wont let you see me be a human being 
Im not a fucking human being
Im super fucking woman
Im something other
Or im nothing at all
I still cant decide
I guess it depends on the day anymore 
But either way youll never see it
(No youll never see it)
Ive never been witnessed 
Ive never been witnessed

Stream of Consciousness: Witnessed

Came home and vibed immediately and did this rough record in one random take off the top of my head. Felt like it was worth sharing.

How do I tell you
When I hear a car in the street
I think it's you pulling up
To come running back to me?

How do I say
The things on my mind
When I know you're gonna go
Back to her at night?

I know you're not sure
I know you think this could be wrong
But I also know you knew
It was me all along
That you've been missing

You've been missing something
And so have I
Feel like I've known you in another life

But this life is the only one we'll see
Tell me will you live this life with me? 

Or

Did you drive away?
Am I hearing things? 
That's not you, you didn't turn around
And I'm not growing wings...

Baby I'm hearing things
That's not you, it never was
Tell me, tell me if I'm wrong
Tell me

How do I look you
In the eye every day
And know what kind of life we could have?
Please ask me to stay

Cuz it's not me and I can't
You have to be the one
I promise anything you say 
Unfortunately I would probably go along

Cuz I'm not strong enough to withstand you
Wouldn't even reprimand you

Just wanna...
I don't know
I don't know what I was gonna say there but it's okay
Cuz you're not gonna hear this song anyway

Oooooooooo

How can I be so naive
To think this time 
it might finally
Go right for me?

There's so many places and things
In the way
So many things 
That we cannot say
It's getting harder and harder
Every single day
To call you friend
I've never called you that before
I've always known that you were more
I can't lie
You're my guy
You're my person

What could be worse than
Losing you?
So I'll stay quiet
I'll stay me
If the words are I love you I just won't speak

Oooooooo

Won’t Speak

Just a singing poet who plays a little guitar

Banjofarts

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