I haven't got a rival to feud with like all the best Rappers so I made one up, and trust me, that cunt had it coming.

[Basyc]
[Tough Cookie]

[Chorus x2]
All the rappers have a rival, they attacking for survival,
I conjured up a villain and I written him a spiteful,
Diss to fit the mold, so they don't think I'm a pussy,
Or a rookie at a rap, It’s the fucking tough cookie.
	

[Verse 1]
I'm bamboozling you bozo, fucking with me it's a no go, 
No homo but bro yo, would you like to go n get some froyo, 
Well sucker it's cursed, I’m dispersing ozone with some B.O,
Pheromone testosterone, you've an odor of rose though,
Estrogen, weak as East Berlin, you take it on the chin,
I'll cause your autism like Peppa Pig, I don't cave in, 
Ain't in a bit of a pickle, I'm the full fucking gherkin,
Caught you circle jerking, pre-pubescent pussy, wear a merkin,
Mad Cipher, after high fiver, home before beddy-bys, I'd,
Bet you'd crash, with a spider in the visor, type ta,   
Tip off the cops, I'll pop shots, n' ride over ya, 	
Watch out n duck, like anatidaephobia,
I'm coriander, lovely or hate thee,
It's in your genes like, the size your waist be,
You tasting soap now, wow how could that.. Please!
I'll wash your mouth out, for badmouthing about me. 



[Chorus x2]

  

[Verse 2]
I'll kill you deceased til you're dead and not living,
It's thrilling I’m winning, veni, vidi, vici,
A beast I am, no I ain't using a metaphor,   
Upper half Centaur and lower part Minotaur,
I'm sure footed, klutz, you be tripping my hook, 
Halfway crook, OG Loc, stealing Mad Dogs rhyme book,
As a kid you were shook, dreaming fame as a singer, 
Hell I ain't made it, til 'Basyc' pressed on a pinger,
I won't linger, know when it’s time to go, take the hint bro, 
Thief! make me hambone looking for my telephone, 
The life's low, and ya still repping area codes, 
You want beef like living with a vegan misso,
Yo, its games and fun, so bring a knife to my gun,
You fighting me, two minus three, 
They call me the negative one, you can lead a man to fucks, 
But you can't make him give some. 


[Chorus x2]


[Verse 3]
Don't take it personally, but I'll still be cursing see,
You in the hearse, while spitting verses at the sermon, 
Bring you back to life to murk you, guess we rehearsing, 
Think I'm quirky till I lay you out officially like QWERTY, then its curtains,
Your mum aborted you, at least attempted to,
Adding salt up in the wounds, assaulting you inside the womb,
Primordial ooze, shaped the earth its inhabitants too,
Son, round you no world orbits, nor no offers be calling,
Scrap ya plans of cash and fame and, go crash with the fam,
When you making lotsa dough its cause you're big into jam, 
Another gram for the party, of one the glass barbie, 
Poor behind the eight ball, to be late you couldn't afford,
It's a rap, of shooting flak at that Harry Imaginary, 
Who’d apparently, the audacity to scrap with and hassle me, 
Atta boy, that’s the point, looky looky I got hooky,
Took the heat n been cooked, by the  fucking tough cookie.


[Chorus x2]

Tough Cookie

Guess what, we're all gonna die. Forever. Permanently. Nothing to be scared of, unless you're religious cause you'll be judged. Embrace the void of possibilities, the great unknown. But also, don't forget to live until you're 95 scrubbing those pearly whites with Sensodyne.

You're Gonna Die Forever, Permanently (DEMO)

Guiena Pig Demo

Bottlewoes

It's Perfectly Normal for Men to Pee Sitting Down

[Chorus]
It's just the benefits of sitting down to pee,
It makes more sense comes down to practicality, 
The best position pissing liquid out of me,
So have a listen you'll admit that you agree. 

[Verse 1]
If ya missus is tripping, that your cistern is glistening,
And toilet pan's riddled with piddle man, start listening,
Don't fiddle your diddle, permit me some attention span,
I'll teach you a little, something don't flip me the middle finger, 
So bring ya, butt cheeks to meet with the toilet seat, 
No worries if you don't need to borrie lads, just take a leak,
Whip out your phone, relaxing, kick up your feet,
This therapeutical cubicle, safe space to take a pee,
It's not weak, don't fret on other’s insecurities, 
You don't shit while standing, so people fucking spare me,
Say that it ain't manly, to pop a squat not plopping off,
They're probably stall bandits, scared of standing in the middle trough,
So fuck off, don't wanna see a bunch of Ocker's cocks,
Or watch a Cogger dropping his pants to socks in spotted jocks,
Rock that spot and take your time, especially on the boss’s dime,
Please be kind, unwind and flick that toilet sign to occupied.

[Verse 2]
Alright, I'm a start listing the benefits of pissing, 
Whilst sitting, let me showcase all that I've written,
Number one, not the idiom, and not in any order, umm,
You don't need to aim or strain, let it trickle out some
Always drips standing, even if you shake that rattlesnake,
Wet stains, perchance you dried hands on your jeans mate,
Needn’t lift the lid or drop it down, a happy wife, happy life,
Don't scrub your mitts only gotta touch the pants and fly,
Whilst targeting, that little cache of water stash,
You’re bound to get a bit of splashback, or hit the toilet mat,
We ain't sharp shooters, especially as it’s taking off,
You've hit the seat before and had to use a sock to mop it up,  
No piss drips, mishaps with zips, can shart or shit, 
For improved urodynamic’s sit, so sayeth scientists, 
The Deutche practice this, with that German efficient pee,
Placate the prostate risks, of cysts and take a seat.

[Verse 3] 
It ain't all sunshine and roses, its urine and grossness,
The dark side to sitting, I'm a tell ya blokes, focus,
You spend too long, and your legs go numb,
If that smell is foul, then you'd best get out, 
Asparagus wow, to shake a leg yeah I'll take a stand,
Without a doubt though, I'm a get some piss on my pants,
Don't have a shy bladder, public pissing doesn't bother me,
I'll happily boost the acidity of your lemon tree, 
Mark my territory, careful don't squirt underlid,
Down ya pants, if they leather double tanning regrets,
In truth, a summer sitter, in winter a quick pisser,
They lied it ain’t sterile, jellyfish stings a myth the,
Boner trick’s a shower as the loo is of an effort,  
Do my words induce your flow like a natural diuretic,
Or ya need ear antiseptic, from hearing my Magnum O’piss,  
Mind your pee's and poo's, toilet humour up in this bitch.

[Outro]
It sounds like, I want my urinal cake and eat it too,
I ain't a vile urophile, just got some pee tips dudes,
So let’s change the view, how we use our poles in bowls,
Sit down, change the stigma, help achieve our pee hole goals.

Ballad Number One - Prod. XL

[Verse 1]
Living a life that's normal be, living a life of conformity, 
I try reside beside the sheep, but watch for wolves, they're stalking me,
Go to sleep, but keep a peeper open treat ya foes like hide and seek,
Meet ‘em meek, when they sneak unleash the beast and prove them weak,
But who they be, we got so many enemies but it ain't the ones you see,
Cause it's the, government officials keeping us crippled, 
The judicial systems superficial, crooks on top who cook their books
And took our rights it's beneficial,
So in the initial, it gave us hope butwhat a joke, 
If we'd known, we'd give Cleisthenes a motherfucking rope,
And watch him choke, this system veils the simpleminded folk,
Think you vote but all you do is give away your pride you know,
Here we go, we spiral outside of the times, stand in line to cast our voice,
But the choice is fucking blind, 
Two parties in our mind we lose our sight each time they fight,
Little by little's fine, so no need to call it a crime.

[Chorus]
Let's remove hypocrisy from bureaucracy,
Can't you see, we're getting fucked like theocracy,
Come on, even Socrates opposed democracy, 
Ain’t youse had enough of the aristocracy.

[Verse 2]
We got our leaders greeting seniors to gauge the meter,
What can we take from them, whilst keeping em scared enough to keep us,
The media see's to this thus, creating uneasiness cause,
They need to halve their pensions without causing a fuss,
It's fucked, but it’s if's and Mithras, are you left or right,
Align on either side, no ambidextrous, 
Fitting moulds like Tetris, keep yourself in check cause, 
Independent’s ineptness, it's like plebiscites for rights,
Despite, the illusion, that you can choose one, 
The figurehead gets bigger bread, we all lose some, 
The scapegoats got no escape though, we argue and blue its nothing new,
What’s to do, the legislation goes through,
Behind the battle lines, they devise their lies,
And share the prize that is our lives, we lose rights most every night, 
They make the hype and play the fight, we think we won but we should cry,
The agenda continues.

[Verse 3]
The MP's passing the parcel, our financial arsenal, 
A bunch of arseholes,
The PM's bargaining charcoal, the countries impartial, 
Like yeah what, we got our arms full,    
Give that man a raise who slashed the penalty rates,
Bridging the gap, nah fuck it, reduce their wage,
Cover-up the rage, debate, then set up the stage,
Watch the chickens fight until they forget that they are caged,
We got pollies copping lobbyist gobbies for foreplay,
Those wallies, follow dollars and hollow like frack hey,
Such cockiness they wallow and swallow the fact they,
Stab in the back, increase tax and don't pay,
So dictators will fall, not meaning bangers and mash,
Autocrats will live, and simply belay the facts,
We're we better off with who, in truth, we ain't got jack,
Everyone one is fucked, no matter how the chips' stacked.

Demoncracy - Remix

First verse I writ to a free beat online, in the middle of writing the rest to a new beat being put together by the very talented Axel Saredo

Some Place Cheap DEMO

[Verse 1]
I just don't know what to do,
With writing hip hop to this,
I never learned how to sing,
Especially at Seventy-Seven BPM,
I'm out my comfort zone, 
RNB makes me uncomfortable,
It's too slow and it's sensual, 
I've no confidence to dance at all,
I'm a wall weed, with low self-esteem,
Some guys make it all look so easy,
But to me, it just seems so cheesy, 
Yes, ya'll

[Chorus x2]
Oh baby, oh baby, simple hooks, 
You don't even need to rhyme, 
Repeat yo self, oh baby, oh baby,
Slow down

[Verse 2]
Once you get the hang of this,
You'll see that it takes no practice,
It's a piece of piss, which is why R Kelly was good at it,
That piece of shit, cut off his dick,
Take a breather, slow that pace down, 
You can accentuate,
and draw your words out, ohhh ya'llll
I didn't want to research this, 
It just, shows how little fucks I give,
Did a wiki search and found out with,
RNB you need to have a pre-chorus,
So here is the pre-chorus, 
With female vocal clips, 
Now here's the promised chorus.
The same as the first one. 

[Chorus x2]
Oh baby, oh baby, simple hooks, 
You don't even need to rhyme, 
Repeat yo self, oh baby, oh baby,
Slow down

[Verse 3]
There's RNB, Contemporary
It sounds way too artsy for me,
Long words I hate to read, I abbrev,
I'dn't've vibed with Biebs,
Usher should've killed that kid,
Instead got him double commas, 9 figs, 
People be bumping and grinding to him,
While I'm poor ragging on rhythm and blues.

Ran dB

[Verse 1]
I was kicking in the city sitting by the Sugar Shack, 
Thought stuff it, bought a Dr. Pepper 6 pack 'n Grape Zap-
-pos for the walk home, stinging for a drink stat,
Got back, mixed in, Gentleman Jack, time to relax,
Opened a packet, delicious, sugar fix,
Reminiscing, as a kid with, 
Lollies the economy never had a worry we,
Had intentions of spending our few cents on, 
Sweets, we bought Streets Ice Creams and eat treats,
Deplete mixed bags, buy more repeat,
No trick or treat for Aussies, that didn't stop me,
Knocked and got a lemon cause I didn't have a cozzie,
No worries, as my mummy had a tab at the milk bar, 
So I'd fill my tummy up often with a plethora, 
Of gum, Choccy, Jellies 'n Gummies,
And then she’d pummel me when that bill came monthly

[Chorus x2]
Remember when life it was so easy,
Sweet like Chocolate, you'd better believe me,
Don't wanna sound cheesy, cause sugar over savory,
Lollies on the daily, after school tasty

[Verse 2]
Chickitty china, scrap that, where the snacks at,
A sugar fiend heart pumping, like a lab rat,
Smashing chip packs for Tazo's, 
I died inside when they decided to take away cereal prizes,
Samboys were the flavor bomb, 
Black cats would get hated on,
At the school Caf, the snack alternatives were whack,
Keep ya Milky Freeze, Jupiter, and Carob I hate that,
And stale scoops of grouped cinema mix, 
How'd I get these scars? consuming, Zooper Dooper’s it's 
A ten-cent hit ta sour up a Slush Puppy cup,
Rough as guts with Tonka Trucks, eating all the Wonka stuff,
The townsfolk were stoked vanilla coke,
Icecream turf wars didn't know, which shop to go,
The one near the Sweet Co. or the one across the road,
Macavity's not there when the dental van's in tow 

[Chorus x2]
Remember when life it was so easy,
Sweet like Chocolate, you'd better believe me,
Don't wanna sound cheesy, cause sugar over savory,
Lollies on the daily, after school tasty

[Verse 3]
Back in the nineties if, I could write a shopping list:
Tic Toc Bickies, Minties, Choc Ciggies,
Wizz Fizz, Skittles, Jelly Bellies, and Brittle,
Fizzers and Twizzlers, Fruit Tingles, Kindas,
Push Pops, Ghost Drops, Gobstops, Big Boss,
Paddle pops, Euco Drops, Pop Rocks, Sherbert Bombs,
Yowies, Ovalteenies, Snakes, Teeth, Smarties,
Mint Leaves, Strawberry Creams, Red Frogs and Green, 
Dunkaroos, Fruit Jubes, Zombie chews, Gum Tattoos,
Bubble-O's, Snap 'n Crackle, Curly Wurly's, Caramello's
Milkos, Sherbert Pops, Freddo's, Acid Drops, 
Double Dip, Bubble Jugs, Hubba Bubba Bubblegum,
Pop-Tarts, Milky Bars, Candy Hearts, Racing Cars,
Red Skins, Musk Sticks, Kool Mints, Fun Dip,
Jaw Breakers, Snow Balls, Jaffas, Giant Rainbow Straws,
Allsorts, Cola wars, I can't take it anymore

[Chorus x2]
Remember when life it was so easy,
Sweet like Chocolate, you'd better believe me,
Don't wanna sound cheesy, cause sugar over savory,
Lollies on the daily, after school tasty

[Outro]
Nidoking, Farfetch'd, Abra, Jigglypuff,
Kingler, Rhyhorn, Clefable, Wigglytuff,
Obtuse, Rubber Goose, Green Moose, Guava Juice,
Giant Snake, Birthday Cake, Large Fries, Chocolate Shake






[Didn't Make The Cut]
Tic Tacs, Ka-Bluey's, LCM's, Gummybears, 
Choo Choo's, Ring Pops, Fantales,
Warheads, Chocolate Money,
Nerds, Bananas, Mammee Noodles, Freckles,
Malteasers, Bullets, Trollies so much of that,
Lifesavers, M&M Mini's, Fads,
Pez, Sunny Boys, Melody Pops,
Starburst, Killer Pythons, Runts,
Candy Watches and Bracelets, 
Tim Tams, Polly Waffles, White Knight,
Klinkers, Sour Worms, Chicko's, Pez,
Cola Bottles, Jerseys, and many many more.

Sweet Teeth

[Chorus x2]
Damn, man I'm so motherfucking ugly, 
Not even the ugly’s will hug me,
Man, damn I'm so motherfucking ugly, 
Not even, not even

[Verse]
Ain't no joke that I'm ugly, my mother wouldn't touch me,
At birth lucky the nurse had gloves otherwise I'd be,
A lot worse off in the medical waste bin, 
My pockmark face just like Marvel's The Thing,
As a teen my teacher got stung in a pedo ring,
Was in his demographic he attempted nothing, 
A real face for radio if you paper bagged it,
If my dad just stayed flaccid, I'd've never happened,
Then you'd all be glad that this face never made it,
Not just my face but my cranium's misshapen,
Was born a redhead, then it went a little brown,
Now my hairs falling out recedings all round,
I'm proceeding to the lounge I need to sit down,
My weight, makes me sweat when I breathe for the count,
I'm out like the lights in the house, 
Though I live alone my roomy hates my sight I got a hand for a spouse.  

[Chorus x2]
Damn, man I'm so motherfucking ugly, 
Not even the ugly’s will hug me,
Man, damn I'm so motherfucking ugly, 
Not even, not even

[Verse 2]
Haven't left the house in a week, cause I think I'm freak,
It's not only me judging from peoples shouts in the street,
And the sign that they keep, turning green when we meet, 
Vomiting they leave, but I believe,
I'm beautiful maybe not on the outside or the inside,
Or you know, like on any side,
Anyways despite it, I'm a fight this, 
I've got basic human rights, right?
You can't deny this, gotta show me some respect, 
It took a lot of guts for me to get up out of bed,
And I don't mean courage I'm talking about my waist,
Gotta use weight, to counterbalance myself straight,
So see me waddling, triple chins all wobbling, 
Collagen like porridge, and complexion is worrisome,
Cleft palette, humpbacked, leg dragging, ball sac torn bad
All that and a coupla chip packs. 

[Chorus x2]
Damn, man I'm so motherfucking ugly, 
Not even the ugly’s will hug me,
Man, damn I'm so motherfucking ugly, 
Not even, not even

[Verse 3]
A thing that tends to bum me out, is dating when you’re ugly how,
I’m supposed to get a wife, with no money and not funny, now
A days it’s all on tinder, can’t bring myself to sling a, 
Pic of my ding-a-linger, as it’s a spaghetti stringer,
No right swipes for nice guys, I’m negging bitches online,
In real life, I can’t hide, they gouge out their own eyes,
A blind date, this other chick be staring down my way,
A case of Cacospectamania, and so I say,
Hey baby, I’m easy, like one, to, three, please be, 
No more like four, deplore that I have ABCD,
An ugly little duck I be, I’ll grow you see, you don’t know me,
Murphy’s law, the breed is probably a fucking Muscovy, 
My councilor is helping me, he quacked it’s a doc,
Explaining games and love, mono and poly but I shrugged,
Misjudged, unloved, so in perpetuity I tug, 
Cause I’m ugly, so motherfucking ugly, damn

No Alibi

It's Perfectly Normal for Men to Pee Sitting Down

[Chorus]
It's just the benefits of sitting down to pee,
It makes more sense comes down to practicality,
The best position pissing liquid out of me,
So have a listen you'll admit that you agree.

[Verse 1]
If ya missus is tripping, that your cistern is glistening,
And toilet pan's riddled with piddle man, start listening,
Don't fiddle your diddle, permit me some attention span,
I'll teach you a little, something don't flip me the middle finger,
So bring ya, butt cheeks to meet with the toilet seat,
No worries if you don't need to borrie lads, just take a leak,
Whip out your phone, relaxing, kick up your feet,
This therapeutical cubicle, safe space to take a pee,
It's not weak, don't fret on other’s insecurities,
You don't shit while standing, so people fucking spare me,
Say that it ain't manly, to pop a squat not plopping off,
They're probably stall bandits, scared of standing in the middle trough,
So fuck off, don't wanna see a bunch of Ocker's cocks,
Or watch a Cogger dropping his pants to socks in spotted jocks,
Rock that spot and take your time, especially on the boss’s dime,
Please be kind, unwind and flick that toilet sign to occupied.

[Verse 2]
Alright, I'm a start listing the benefits of pissing,
Whilst sitting, let me showcase all that I've written,
Number one, not the idiom, and not in any order, umm,
You don't need to aim or strain, let it trickle out some
Always drips standing, even if you shake that rattlesnake,
Wet stains, perchance you dried hands on your jeans mate,
Needn’t lift the lid or drop it down, a happy wife, happy life,
Don't scrub your mitts only gotta touch the pants and fly,
Whilst targeting, that little cache of water stash,
You’re bound to get a bit of splashback, or hit the toilet mat,
We ain't sharp shooters, especially as it’s taking off,
You've hit the seat before and had to use a sock to mop it up,
No piss drips, mishaps with zips, can shart or shit,
For improved urodynamic’s sit, so sayeth scientists,
The Deutche practice this, with that German efficient pee,
Placate the prostate risks, of cysts and take a seat.

[Verse 3]
It ain't all sunshine and roses, its urine and grossness,
The dark side to sitting, I'm a tell ya blokes, focus,
You spend too long, and your legs go numb,
If that smell is foul, then you'd best get out,
Asparagus wow, to shake a leg yeah I'll take a stand,
Without a doubt though, I'm a get some piss on my pants,
Don't have a shy bladder, public pissing doesn't bother me,
I'll happily boost the acidity of your lemon tree,
Mark my territory, careful don't squirt underlid,
Down ya pants, if they leather double tanning regrets,
In truth, a summer sitter, in winter a quick pisser,
They lied it ain’t sterile, jellyfish stings a myth the,
Boner trick’s a shower as the loo is of an effort,
Do my words induce your flow like a natural diuretic,
Or ya need ear antiseptic, from hearing my Magnum O’piss,
Mind your pee's and poo's, toilet humour up in this bitch.

Ballad Number One Mastered

My first radio play ever. South Australian Community Radio station BBB FM 98.1 saw my tracks in a Facebook group and plugged them. Berossa After Hours with Edey and Cheyenne. Loving it, quality a bit compressed

bASYC

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