lyrics:
i get my back cracked every week
i trust my doctor and he trusts me
but, sometimes, I don’t know
when I need to when to say no

y-strap and torso twist
manipulations give me bliss
but my blood vessels pop
and it hurts a lot

turns out he was lying
(about his credentials)
now i'm paralyzed and dying
but it’s not that bad
cause the cracks were satisfying

"quack quack" the duck said
as he went chasing bread
didn’t matter who he hurt
as the snail oil burnt

agreeing with the AMA on this one,
not feeling so vital anymore...

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Nervous 'Bout The Nervous System

lyrics:
our story starts with a boy left in the dark
he wrote and wrote and wrote but got no spark
for his flint and steel
he’d beg and steal 
for the chance to be the new best

he piled rejection letters on his desk
he tied a rope and almost broke his neck
but he knew the way 
the world could pay
he snapped and went crazy 

heard one too many Nick Cave tracks, today
he was driving the LA 
and there was no coming back
'till the record label’s attacked
he felt it was his duty

he drove all night from new york to cali
he wore dark black clothes and felt so free
he looked out his window on the highway and said  

SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*guitar solo*

*a postrock buildup into literal hell*

he makes his way through the lobby
he passes the front desk
he takes the elevator
to the top floor
he's finally there
but he forgot what for

he enters quite slowly
he knew the way through
he knows the way out too

he storms into the CEO’s office
he pulls out his record
the CEO looked shocked
and he began to talk
he said:

"sorry, no unsolicited music."

And that was it, I guess
I went home, and uhh…
It’s still not released

I even, I even have some samples from it if you want to hear it

I-I know I already played some stuff from it earlier but there’s still one track…

Uh…it’s kinda like this uh kinda like a country song but it’s about *cough laugh* chiropractic, you know…I just…uhh…I just thought I’d combine the two *heh* it’s kinda-

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

A Business Trip (Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, And 5)

lyrics:
we made out to our favorite record: 
the audiobook of "Infinite Jest"
(yeah yeah yeah)
it’s a forty LP set
we’re not to the best part yet
(yeah yeah yeah)
i thought she was my wife
she thought I was annoying...

it was disheartening to say the least, 
no one left to discuss Pynchon with me
(yeah yeah yeah)
the calculus puns
oh we had so much fun
(yeah yeah yeah)
i even wrote you a song
come on! sing along:

this wasn’t a joke
we were the real deal
we listened to Weezer
and it wasn’t a one-off kind of occurrence!
we were the best together
why can’t we stay together?!?
i promise to write you everyday
with a quirky message that 
made it seem like everyday was valentine’s day 
Ooooh woo-oooh-oooh-oooh
my mind reads like "Finnegans Wake"!

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Infinite Jest

lyrics:
i woke up with a couple bites on my neck
and felt queasy when i felt the touch of the sun on my back
i looked up to see a girl with hair like oil and skin as pale as a summer moon and gasped aloud!

it didn’t seem odd when she donned a cape in the night   
nor when she held her mouth agape and flashed her oversized canine teeth...

it didn’t seem odd when she donned that cape in the night   
nor when she turned around on the roof and flashed her oversized canine teeth...

i left there with a penchant for o-negative
the outdoors became my ultimate nemesis
i got sucked dry for everything i ever had
now that i've left, i cannot say that i’m satisfied

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Weekend With a Vampire

lyrics:
my life was changed
after "Dr. Phil"

(send him, send him, send him, send him, 
to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch!
send him, send him, send him, send him, 
to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch!)

i can’t forgive you, baby
for you treated me so wrong the other day
on national television
on the global stage

you called me names
and exposed me as a fraud
now I’m forced to go look for another broad

ooh, hard to forgive you, baby! 

(send him, send him, send him, send him, 
to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch!
send him, send him, send him, send him, 
to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch!)

ooh, hard to forgive you, baby! oh no.

thanks to McGraw, i’m a changed man
he sent me to a resort with a rehab plan
not to mention he projected my struggles
to white suburban moms so they could chuckle
(at his suffering)

"in 2004, the National Alliance on Mental Illness called McGraw's conduct in one episode of his television show 'unethical' and 'incredibly irresponsible'. McGraw's critics regard advice given by him to be at best simplistic, and, at worst, ineffective."

he doesn’t have a license
and he gave us "The Doctors" (don’t get me started)
why do we worship this blatant fearmonger? 
he’s seen in nation’s hospital waiting rooms 
he’s definitive proof that america is doomed

(send him, send him, send him, send him, 
to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch!
send him, send him, send him, send him, 
to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch, to the ranch!)

*epic country guitar solo*

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Sent To The Ranch

lyrics:
on the corner of the street, you’ll see them
rolling around in fake blood
generally becoming a public nuisance
making sure those who eat meat are judged

P-E-T-A
PETA doesn’t care about your animals
P-E-T-A
the leaders in euthanasia

they run stupid advertisements
because they’re performative hacks
they’re run by celebrities that want to look good
but they often seem like maniacs

P-E-T-A
PETA doesn’t care about your animals
P-E-T-A
the leaders in euthanasia

the big bad factory
watch my documentary
"PETA cares so much about animals"
we don’t people to own pets at all
we use lots of pentobarbital
we’re somehow the most annoying vegans

P-E-T-A
PETA doesn’t care about your animals
P-E-T-A
the leaders in euthanasia

*various disturbing ad-libs and animal noises*

P-E-T-A
PETA doesn’t care about your animals
P-E-T-A
the leaders in euthanasia

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Euthanized

lyrics:
can I interest you
in an all expense paid cruise?
press 7 and i'll guide you!
think about all you will accrue.

you are the chosen one
 the one to bathe in the sun
we know all about you

*epic, sloppy, and boisterous guitar solo*

you are the chosen one
to be my estranged son
i’ll give my millions to you

robot callers on the run
we target everyone
but we only fool your grandma
we think we’re above the law

you are the chosen one
the IRS said you owe a ton
now they’re coming for you 

your family member’s in the hospital,
you didn’t even know!

you Mac computer has a Windows virus,
you didn’t even know!

*another arena-ready solo*

you are the chosen one
need your password and we’re done
i’ll do anything to fool the vulnerable

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Lucky Caller!

lyrics:
beaten battered and slammed 
i still know who i am 
i write with my two left hands 
yeah, with my two left hands 
fly too close to sun 
become liked by everyone 
when i write with left hands 
i wish i had a right hand 
man, i’m so mad 

mad at the world 
i lost all my pearls 
at the bottom of the ocean 
let's simulate the motion 

nuggets of (g)old 
that i just can’t get a hold 
of, just out of reach 
i need to get away from the beach 

beaten battered and slammed 
i still know who i am 
'cause i write with my two left hands 
yeah, with these two left hands 
i flew too close to sun 
i didn't become liked by everyone 
when i wrote with my left hands 
i never had a right hand man 

versus self 
i took inspiration from the bookshelf 
and sat still for a while 
and tried to fake a smile 

this needs to be my career 
but i need to get far away from here 
first, with a big old trampoline 
takes you further than you’ve ever seen 

words being crammed 
and lines being enjambed 
and i’ll still write with my left hands 
they’re unique, those two left hands 
i don’t care about icarus 
morals are superfluous 
when it comes to my two left hands 
as i crawl through the badlands 

but i can do this alone 
i don’t need someone else to come along 
and ruin this for me 
i know the way 
to write and write and write 
i’ll get there one day 
at least i think I might... 
but what if i don’t? 
it’s too much *ugh* 

i might 
i might 
i will 
i won’t 
i might 
i don’t know 
i just know one thing 
and that it's over 
back at square one 
i guess it’s ok 
i’m writing stream of consciousness everyday 
but how can I start and stop and start and stop 
when I just don’t know where my morals are aligned 
i stopped trying to rhyme 
i'm running out of time 
i think that it's over 
you think that it's over 
so that means that it is over 

maybe it's not 
maybe it's not 
maybe it's not 
maybe i can keep going 
i can play the album too 
but it's only an ep at the moment 
here it is i guess 
you have been warned

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

Two Left Hands

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it

The Music Industry, the Themes from

lyrics:
i saw a bird perched outside my window
 and it said to me 
“Brandon set yourself free” 
“Brandon set yourself free”  
i followed the bird out my window 
when i remembered i couldn’t fly 
i almost died 
yeah, i almost died  

my imagination station 
it leads you down 
and never brings you up 
i’m hopeless it seems 
Only in Dreams  

i’m a bumbling fool sometimes 
i can’t see 
when I need to be
more involved with what’s around me  
my teenage illusions of grandeur  
are detrimental 
i think i’m going mental 
yeah, i think i’m going mental  

my imagination station 
it leads you down 
and never brings you up 
i’m hopeless it seems 
Only in Dreams 
i know you and you know me
so hopefully you can see
i’m hopeless it seems 
Only in Dreams  

i write to you but you never write to me
i send you letters everyday hoping you will see
i wasted all my stamps for just one chance  
that you will see  
i wasted all my stationary so you will see, see, see!  

*epic break*

my imagination station
it leads you down 
and never brings you up 
i’m hopeless it seems 
Only in Dreams 
i know you and you know me
 so hopefully you can see 
i’m hopeless it seems 
Only in Dreams

This album came as a result of a long and arduous journey through the depths of the world in an effort to find the lowest lows of humanity: Dr. Phil, indie guys, call scammers, chiropractic, cults, and PETA (apologies for repeating myself there a few times). Building on my more focused previous project regarding new religious movements, this album incorporates a myriad of other kooky aspects of our dangerously postmodern society. However, I found that, regardless of whatever ideas I could conjure into an album about true idiocy in the world, the true idiot was me...for attempting to package and release it. Thus, we have a concept album about the creation of the record you're hearing (featuring criticisms of the music world as a whole, of course). Sure, it's idiotic and makes zero sense on a conceptual level, but...that's kind of the point (if you couldn't tell by the title of the record). A mise en abyme of a release, "Dedicated to Idiots" is the accumulation of my entire high school music "career". I'm not sure what is in store for beandon next to tell you the truth. In the meantime, I really hope that you enjoy this record for what it is - a lot of fun. 

Cheers. I love you all. :* 



Obligatory Legal Notice: 
As to all figures and movements which are satirized in this release, please remember that these songs are exactly that: satire. Over-the-top descriptions presented in the album are sometimes not true to life (i.e. I'm sure that Dr. Phil's horrific excuse for a TV show is not EXCLUSIVELY played in hospital waiting rooms, as I've also seen him in car repair shops, Macy's fitting room waiting areas, etc.) If you realistically think that people are believing the word of a recent high school graduate making orchestral pop about euthanasia, you are more insane than PET- you know what I mean.

guitars* - me 
bass - me 
drums - me 
keyboards - me 
pianos - me 
singing - give a wild guess 
misc. instruments - me 
arrangement - me 
writing* - me 
me = beandon 

special thanks to my friend Roland for providing horn and harpsichord parts - beep boop! 

*Weekend with A Vampire was co-written with Evan Kerr (who is certainly NOT an idiot)...oh and he also plays guitar on it