a soliloquy that i can only tell this shit to myself. a confession to which i cannot confess enough. hindi ito beats. sound lang ito.

uhdf.irdkhtstorwwbtpttstaw.bftlttiky,ihfilwy.ihbdiairatstwtbvh.mta,imatlowwhrnaft.ifsa.

1 of 2 Commissioned Ambient Works for AQUARIUM Poetry Workshop together with Issay Rodriguez and Charms Tianzon. Tubig portrays a darker mood evoking oneself being drowned underwater and feeling everything all at once.

AQUARIUM Poetry Workshop is a subproject under Asian Contemporary Art Keywords Dictionary Project, which was launched in 2020. It has been carried out in the form of online workshops to facilitate transnational connections and is funded by Association of Visual Arts Taiwan, National Culture and Art Foundation and the Department of Cultural Affairs Taipei City Government.

Tubig

2 of 2 Commissioned Ambient Works for AQUARIUM Poetry Workshop together with Issay Rodriguez and Charms Tianzon. Kalmado portrays a lighter mood evoking oneself watching the sunset, contemplating things in life, at the seaside.

AQUARIUM Poetry Workshop is a subproject under Asian Contemporary Art Keywords Dictionary Project, which was launched in 2020. It has been carried out in the form of online workshops to facilitate transnational connections and is funded by Association of Visual Arts Taiwan, National Culture and Art Foundation and the Department of Cultural Affairs Taipei City Government.

Kalmado

Drowning In Displacement is my first work installed in a gallery at Gravity Art Space. This work was installed at Guided Agitation, an exhibition of works of media art and sound art on 10 February to 11 March 2023.

Guided Agitation attempts to think through sound, understanding it as a rich speculative terrain upon which potential futures can be encountered, engineered, and activated. The sonic field itself along with various acts of sound-ing constitute a site in which contrasting voices and divergent intensities play with and against one another. Harmony, cacophony, and polyphony all arise from the productive misuse of technical objects, from imaginative de- and re-couplings of established sets of relations, from the inventive restructuring of imagined wholes and their component parts. The exhibition presents works that use sound as a mode of inquiry to collapse the distance between the object and the observer, trouble the conventions around hierarchical stratification of audiovisual materials, and gesture toward alternative methods of engaging with different temporalities, histories, and presents.
-A. X. Ledesma

Drowning In Displacement

limbo pt. 1

i think the title is self-explanatory enough. the metaphor's up to you on how you would interpret it tho.

lumandi ako sa kalawakan at 'di ko na nakita kung nasaan ang puso ko

in celebration with world mental health day (kinda late)and as a person who has bipolar disorder 1, this is the best way that i could express myself in behalf of those who have different mental health illness/es.

mental health: now showing in outer space theaters near you

cant sleep so i finished this track which i started 3 weeks ago. i guess this would be the darkest (yet) i've made that would represent myself 12am onwards until i sleep.

photo by 8-bitfiction

the bipolar bear and his inner demons in his dark and complex emotional jungle

what do we really do when we're having feelings? how do or how should we react on this? are you always excited whenever you're waiting to see your admiration? how long is your afterglow after sex? is it sex after love? are we just living in fantasy? do i question this kind of human condition so much i cannot think of any rational way to reason love?

do you notice how silly we can be when we're having feelings?

it's been a very long time since i made something. i've been feeling down for quite a while and had some time to create something to express what i've been feeling since day 1 of lockdown. and yeah, i made something that would describe what would i feel after this shithole the world is going through right now, and that is seeing someone, or the people you'd want to see. or maybe i'm just denying the fact that i want to see someone in particular.

this is not the usual bearable noise stuff, and i'd like to try and explore new things. the mixing's kinda shit, though. i don't care.

is this how it feels like when i see you after lockdown?

it's been weeks since i've been dreaming waking up next to you. tbh i miss waking up next to someone. fuck you coronavirus for literally ruining everyone's lives. irdk anymore

lui // bearable noise

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