A quiet winter morning during a lockdown…
The day I wrote this song, I woke up with a heavy feeling. While laying in bed, I noted down the lyrics and later composed the music first on the piano and then on the guitar. If you’re like me - the “quietness” of the pandemic forced you to look inward. Reflect on your past and those decisions you took that lead you to now. This song is a reflection on a few moments I wish had turned out differently. It is a letter to say I’m sorry.

almost love (demo version)

my song „always been no“ was inspired by a long conversation on a snowy rooftop during a freezing winter afternoon. Being twenty years old, I remember that it was a conversation about moving out and moving in, about the pains of moving on as well as the pandemic-induced prospect of never moving at all.. all while experiencing a fundamental fear of failing and a never-ending search for one‘s home.

always been no

The song is based on the idea that as a twenty-something you might set up life plans to move to places you’ve never been. It is scary but you aim to have fun and experience in order to make mistakes and grow. The execution of these plans is on the line when we meet someone who feels like coming home. In life, we have to ask us constantly do we move or do we stay. We then painfully ask ourselves the question of whether it makes sense to hold onto people who we desire a feeling of stability from, even when the relationship itself has perhaps faded.. the memory itself wants to convince us that we should stay.

Bella Green

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