21. >lobster

20.  *C*

7. ugh

6. rip updike

5. IDBY

4. POIDH

I should explain this song for anyone who isn't familiar with this phrase. Someone on a message board once gave us this advice. It hints at a very interesting story but one that has not been elaborated on.  This boardie also likes to say matey occasionally so that's why that is mentioned and this song is sort of sea shanty-esque.

3. Never Take Acid at a Gay Club

Days Of Christmas (sleep windows version)

Lyrics:

Gonna get up early
have plenty of time
I know you think you got it
but its already mine 
on Black Friday
 Black Friday

I'm already here
I'm already in line
Don't try to take from me
what's already mine 
on Black Friday
Black Friday

I will gladly help you
 once its in my hands
until then I might edge you out
 like a madman
on Black Friday
 Black Friday

Its a day for bargains
leave your babies at home
look how many people 
want a new flip phone
on Black Friday
 Black Friday

Gonna get that tablet
get that new tv 
then I'm gonna buy
"Harry and the Hendersons" on dvd 
on Black Friday
Black Friday

Black FRIDAY, BLACK FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!

I GOT IT!!!!

A MOVIE ABOUT BIGFOOT!!!!!

STARRING JOHN LITHGOW!!!!!

ITS ONLY TWO BUCKS!!!!!!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!    
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

BLACK FRIDAY!

Black Friday

Hidden Wolf Kibble Ad

"Worst Gift Ever" lyrics:

Santa knew that he should not go/ Santa was feeling awful low/ Santa had caught a nasty cold/ but the children need him so/ So on Christmas Day/ all the girls and boys/ all got what they wanted/ all got books and toys /but by New Year's Eve/ they all were sick/ from the worst gift ever/ given by Saint Nick.

 It's a gift that you can't return/ of body aches and guts that burn / congested head / and fatigue/ all I want for Christmas next year is to breathe/ but on Christmas Day/ the house was overrun/ with friends and family/ hugging everyone/ but we didn't know/ how we did re-gift/ the worst gift ever/ from ol' Saint Nick. 

No one knows how he caught the flu/ from reindeers or elves or snotty kids like you/ sitting on his lap/ coughing in his beard/ that  turned  christmas into  a plague this year/ but on Christmas day/ oh, it was a joy/ eating Candy canes/ opening new toys/ now I'm in bed / watching Santa apologize on tv/ for the worst gift ever/ that he gave to me

Now Santa's been traumatized/ keeps his hands gloved and well Santa-tized/ "the worst gift ever" wasn't the flu you see/" the worst gift ever " was Santa's OCD/ but by next Christmas Day/ we'll all feel better/ singing Christmas songs/ wearing ugly sweaters (up yours*) / but Santa will be paranoid/ that he'll make us sick/the worst gift ever, oh Poor Saint Nick.

" Dear children of the world, Santa is very sorry.. that he made you all very sick!  Santa had to make a hard decision.. to disappoint you all...or to make you sick! Santa doesn't know if he made the right choice... but both choices were very bad... and both.. deserve an apology. So .. Santa thought ..he would give you Christmas .. at least that you' d have Christmas ..Santa is so .very sorry. he's  made you all very sick. He's seen all what he's caused .. he didn't mean to ..he tried to be very careful ..but not enough ..its very hard... Santa had the sniffles!.. Santa is so very sorry!"

* this is a reference to an earlier punky Christmas song I made years ago called "Oh Sweaters, Up Yours"

Worst Gift Ever

Thanks to Msfan93 for the song suggestion! Check them out at  https://www.twitch.tv/msfan93  

Lyrics:
people were complaining around Halloween 
they joked we should just sell Christmas pumpkins and paint them red and green 
cuz we set out all that christmas stuff even earlier this time
and they got really offended,  said it was a Christmas crime
but what they don't know is that we're involved in a secret war
between all the other retailers and all those superstores
there's a certain type of customer, they have Christmas OCD
they get prepared super early, and buy the first  things  that they see
and If we aren't first to put it out, it sets there on the shelf
because they already bought it early when they saw it somewhere else
So it just gets pushed out earlier and earlier every season
but we're going to win this war and here is the reason...

Come on down for Christmas in April
35 percent off all the usual Christmas staples
Get it off your mind, 7 months ahead of time
its 3 months more peace of mind  than Christmas in July x2

we'll start with Christmas trees next to Leprechaun hats
there'll  be stockings hung with care right next to our scary masks
Rolls of Christmas wrapping next to flip flops and kiddie pools
we'll have ornaments hanging over our sale for back to school
We'll be first and we'll win this war, and if its what it takes
you can have a mechanic dressed like Santa working on your brakes
and if they start even earlier, anywhere in town
then we'll have no other choice and we'll make it all year round
and we'll say :

Come on down for Xmas 4ever
come buy all your groceries and then get an ugly sweater
get all your prescription filled by a team of doctor elves
where any day you shop is an early Christmas sale
where everyday you shop is an after Christmas sale

Come on down for Xmas 4ever
buy yourself a stocking and then pick up some shredded cheddar
there's a reindeer petting zoo right next to where we sell the nails
where any day you shop is an early Christmas sale 
where everyday you shop is an after Christmas sale

Xmas 4ever x 4

("your brakes will be ready on Friday! ho,ho,ho!")

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