The first of a concept album based off colors, I am currently writing.

Green

I wrote Run at a pivotal point in my life when I had just about reached the end my rope. It was the point at which the romance I had with depression no longer shielded me from my own torment. No matter how much validation I received that what I was feeling was real, it did not change that I was running out of reasons to stay alive. 

I won’t run anymore means turning around and fighting the darkness head on. The truth of your own suffering will chase you until it catches you or you die, whichever comes first. But I’m not going to run anymore.

You & I

TC, TC was inspired by two sections of music in two separate songs from two genres of artist. Kimbra and Joanna Newsom. What a combo, right??

TC, TC is looking back at a toxic relationship that you are finally escaping. A close friend of mine was leaving a marriage, I was letting go of a part of myself that I hated, that I needed to become in order to survive. 

It’s you, both the curse and the cure.

The Curse, The Cure

Inspired by IU’s Palette & eight, and Hayley Williams’s 26.

26 is about the thoughts surrounding realizing that you’re halfway through your 20s: struggling to find meaning and your unique place in the world, battling against depression, trying to find people like you so you can heal together. It’s about wondering if things will ever change, since they haven’t quite yet. It’s questioning reality. Surely, there is more to life than this.

Fine

‘Monologue’ is a conversation with God about being on the edge. Both a breath away from ending it all and a breath away from starting over again. So many thoughts ran through my head, I lived my life in anxiety over and over and over again in my head until it became too much bear anymore. Why did things have to be like this? What did I do to deserve this? Can you hear me Lord? Are you even listening?

And then I realized I had been talking to myself.

Monologue

Hi my name is Benedict Immanuel. And my artist name is .benedicT

I’ve been a musician most of my life, growing up playing violin. During my 2nd year in high school, I picked up the guitar, and began writing my own music. I have come a long way from writing mainly instrumental music, to becoming comfortable enough to share my experiences with everyone. 

As a result of depression and anxiety, I traveled to several pits of despair, countless chasms of darkness, often clinging the dregs of life for reasons to exist. But I took my guitar and my voice with me.

It’s a long ride. Buckle up.