In the worst year of my life I depended on those I was the closest to to pull me out of despair. Things got worse when I was left to deal with things on my own.

Drown

Age 25. Belief. Disbelief. Hope. Doubt. Planning. Existentialism.

So Far Gone

People in relationships can form an unhealthy dependency on one another. 

LYRICS:

And she asked if I was Okay 
When I'd stare up at the Moon
You know when you go running 
I just don't know what to do 
So don't ask me if I'm Okay 
If you just want to hear me say 
Girl I'm only Okay when I'm with you

Okay - Concept

We all get caught up in the stress of life sometimes. I find it's best not to worry too much about what our purpose is, and rather just live while we can and enjoy it.

LYRICS:

Sometimes Life can be a little complicated 
Lately I've been thinking understanding is so overrated
Something deep inside of me was activated
I'm just trying to find a place where I can be appreciated 

Find a corner share my story with a face that's new 
Maybe find the time to make a friend or two
But be careful who you let inside and trust ‘cause 
You never really know someone until you know what they've been through

But when I'm hurt I’ll keep you at an arm’s reach
Isolation medication something that they won't preach
It’s a product of the pain inside we all feel
But loneliness will never let your wounds heal

I found a way to move on but I still haven't 
Holding onto things I'm scared to lose is a bad habit
Bitterness reminds me who I am and who I was
Don't get along so well and it’s tragic 

Time moves on
But I'm standing still 
Wondering 
If ever I will 
Find the reason 
Why I'm still here 
But I will disappear 

Some day
My problems they will fade 
But today’s not that day 
So I'll keep moving on anyway 

I 
Will try to free my mind 
From the cage I’m living in 
And when it's time I’ll jump into the sunset

If I’m honest with myself I think I haven’t been
And honestly I'm tired of regretting when
Success meant more to me then my own happiness
And I’d trade it all away if I could be less stressed 

I’m working on a way to leave a legacy 
Of something more than hurt fear and jealousy 
And I want to leave a mark on the world behind  
A stepping stone to lead us into better times

The truth is I don't know what the truth is
I'm always on the search for something else to amuse me
To distract myself from fear of never finding 
The location where the truth continues hiding

I move forward with my questions left behind 
Afraid of what's to come but I can't wait for what I’ll find
Life’s too short to be concerned with the unknown
And I’ve never had a problem with doing it alone 

People change 
Some things never will 
If I left today
Tell me how'd you feel
I’ll pave my way
Nothing left to fate 
Everything erased 

Some day
My problems they will fade 
But today’s not that day 
So I'll keep moving on anyway 

I 
Will try to free my mind 
From the cage I’m living in 
And when it's time I’ll jump into the sunset

Some day
My problems they will fade 
But today’s not that day 
So I'll keep moving on anyway 

I 
Will try to free my mind 
From the cage I’m living in 
And when it's time I’ll jump into the sunset

Sunset

This track was a good test for me to try mixing and mastering my songs with FL Studio, which is a new tool for me. It is certainly far from perfect, but I had fun recording it. 

LYRICS:

Live today like its your last You might not see tomorrow 
Don't fall in love with the money cause everything is borrowed
Chasing success but this greed will leave you feeling hollow 
The pursuit of happiness can often lead to sorrow

Live for yourself don’t ever chase a dream that isn't yours 
Hate everything that holds you back but see that love endures
The road is winding so don't be afraid to take detours 
I'm learning who to trust and listen to as I mature 


Trying to be a better man
Take me back where I began 
My mistakes and my regrets
They don't make me who I am

Running from my troubled past 
Will this feeling ever pass
I'm afraid of who I am 
Cause who I am knows who I’ve been

And what I’ve done
You count me out and cut me down before I have begun
I was destined for this moment       I won’t stop until I’ve done
The impossible it's probable that i’ve already won

You might be hurting but understand that you’re not alone 
Don't look back to relationships you know that you’ve outgrown 
Elevate your self worth but don't end up on a throne
Don't be afraid to make mistakes and search through the unknown

Surround yourself with the people that you can love the most 
Cause negativity’s a parasite don't be the host
I used to think when I got older everything would slow
I killed the man I used to be but I’ve been seeing ghosts

Trying to be a better man
Take me back where I began 
My mistakes and my regrets
They don't make me who I am

Running from my troubled past 
Will this feeling ever pass
I'm afraid of who I am 
Cause who I am knows who I’ve been

Who I Am

navigating the existential cycle of creating things before tearing them apart

b.e.n.

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