*June 4th*
I struggle to explain myself, so hopefully this is something you can relate to.

I recorded myself while tripping, and I talked about a topic thats really personal to me. I get labeled a lot. And judged a lot. When my ex kept trying to change me, and try to convince me that I don't know who I am it really bothered me. Mainly because she was doing what everyone else did who barely know me. I know the structure is bad, but I wanted to keep it this way because I didn't even want to release this song in the first place.

Label Me

Apple Music

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Label Me

My ex girlfriend randomly out of nowhere sent me a text at 10pm while I was at this bar with my friends. The photo was taken five minutes before the text message, but once I saw "I see you" I panicked, ordered four shots, and asked them if they saw her in the bar. I tried so hard to calm down and it messed me up for 3 days, and I decided to make a song about it so I could just try to feel better.

This version is the rewrite because the first one was a little too sad, and too detailed about why Im scared of her.

I See You

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] I See You

My first feature on a track with a kick ass artist @saintsayso! https://soundcloud.com/saintsayso

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Glare (Sayso & Beyond the Midwest [Prod. by Miracle])

(This is not about the one who slandered my name)

Releases on other platforms 01/01/22

Produced and mixed by: @ibemxn

I am having a hard time letting go of you. But the person I remember and miss, I don't think even truly existed...after all, you told me that you said and did anything to make me like you... I just wanted you to be honest with me, instead of lying to me and calling it the grey area so you could avoid the truth. It still hurts inside but I didn't deserve someone who doesn't want me for who I am. Ending it was hard, but I can't be friends after how you hurt me.

Hurts Inside

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Hurts Inside

Beat produced by Siah Misd
mixed by @ibemxn
Now on all platforms

I used to use nicotine as a coping mechanism, and right now Im using weed as one. It has helped me a lot with being more in the moment. before I smoke all I can think about is someone else. After I smoke I focus on myself and feel a lot happier.

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Blood Red Eyes

(This is not about the one who slandered my name)

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4SBHvQhUFrPoc6UKKP8bCS?si=dPgvVMcLQfarluCtyzbfrg
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Beat Prod by (P4RA)@user-101178172 x 5Head
Mixed by @ibemxn
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I have been trying to fill a hole. Last night I tripped to try and let go. But I just experienced the same heart break I was trying to avoid. I wouldn't call it a bad trip, but when I was in the shower it looked like blood was in the water so I just sat down and hugged myself because I felt more alone than I ever have.

Red Lines

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Red Lines (prod P4RA x 5Head)

Beat Prod by - igormeal (thanks for sending this to me and letting me rearrange the stems)

Releases June 11th
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I have been using nicotine as a coping￼ mechanism every second of every day. Im struggling to quit because I cant get past the verbal abuse, threats, and mind games I was put through when I moved to California. I never had a problem with nicotine, but when I locked myself behind my door, the only thing I felt like I could do was smoke and smoke and smoke, hoping I would feel better and take my mind off of the banging and screaming on the other side of my door.

Since that day I cant stop because if I do, I feel like I’m here.

Nikkis Poison

📹 MUSIC VIDEO

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Nikkis Poison

(This is not about the one who slandered my name)

I love to dance because its one of the best ways for me to express myself. But that night Instead of trying to get out of the house and dance for me. I danced as if you were there, my beautiful wallflower. I fought the attention of others and instead of making me feel confident, I felt mentally tortured. I wished you were there. I wished you wanted me again. I wish you could see I was more than my appearance.

When recording this song. I spent all day trying to express myself about how this night at the downtown experiment made me feel. I became so depressed and disoriented, I ate what little I could. And I went to a bar. Later that night I was arrested for a DUI.
I don’t need you. And I didn’t need you when we met. But you hurt me. You lied to me. You were the one person who made me believe It was okay to let my guard down.

I Love To Dance

🆄🅽🅼🅸🆇🅴🅳 I <3 2 Dance

(This is not about the one who slandered my name)
Beat Prod by (P4RA)@user-101178172 x 5Head
I thought you were different, I spent so much time trying to make sure it was safe to trust you....just to hear you say "I said anything to make you like me"

When I cut my hair for my sisters wedding, it was clear you lost interest. That destroyed my confidence... and I drank until the chills made my nerves feel calm, and continued to drink until I forgot the last few hours. Repeating this process until I felt like I could erase the memory of you. No matter how far I sank, I struggled to let go of your words. “You deserve the bare minimum”
But I’m not worth that, if I don’t look your type.

WHITE WINE

🆄🅽🅼🅸🆇🅴🅳 WHITE WINE (prod P4RA x 5Head)

I wrote this song a year ago, but wanted to save it for another day. Happy Valentines day.

🆄🅽🅼🅸🆇🅴🅳 Sour Sweet Sad

PRE SAVE ON SPOTIFY
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/beyondthemidwest/red-lines
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Beat Prod by (P4RA)@user-101178172 x 5Head
Mixed by @ibemxn
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I have been trying to fill a hole. Last night I tripped to try and let go. But I just experienced the same heart break again. I wouldn't call it a bad one, but when I was in the shower it looked like blood was in the water so I just sat down and hugged myself because I felt more alone than I ever have.

[Nightcore] Red Lines

PRESAVE

[Nightcore] Red Lines (prod P4RA x 5Head)

(this is the first draft, wanted to share this before making any changes.) 
Produced by: young taylor

This is the hardest song for me to share because I have had so much pain, trauma, stress, and more then ever broken trust on my mind. it is extremely hard for me to attempt to talk about this but I feel like I am loosing my sanity.
I am doing everything I can to improve my mental health within my own power, which feels like not enough.

I hope to improve the description of what this song is about, it’s just really hard to know where to start.

🆄🅽🅼🅸🆇🅴🅳 A LOT ON MY MIND

I wanted to share what I wrote yesterday, and will upload the artwork later tonight
Produced by 5head

Im afraid to sleep. Im afraid of seeing you in my dreams again and again and again. I tried so hard to forget you, loosing some of my sanity and health in the process. I miss when you lied to me about who you were. I cant handle the void I wake up to in the morning when your memory fades away. It still feels like a week ago, but its been months. Still shut in my room, unable to trust and feeling like Im an idiot.

But someone else lurks is in my dreams. I trusted you so much when everything happened while we were getting to know each other. You were on my side because you saw me for me. You saw for yourself I was not who that monster said I was. You filled my days with happiness and security, so it hurt when things ended because I already felt like I couldn't open up about that. Im trying to let go of you, but I don't think you understood how much you meant to me when you believed me.

🆄🅽🅼🅸🆇🅴🅳 Sleepless Nights

OPENING UP

Video of Expression

Stems produced by Young Taylor.
Mixed by yours truly.

This is the hardest song for me to elaborate on. Mainly because this song is about my trust issues, and my sanity's decline. A man only has his word, but California seems to have none. I feel like im crazy trying to make friends but its become too predictable. I dont want to generalize the state of California, but Im loosing hope trying to prove my judgment wrong.

When it comes to my sanity. I started talking to myself, I mean I always talked to myself but I started to get scared when I was responding to myself rather than thinking out loud. It started happening on my 3 hour commutes to work. and then started happening a lot more often. Maybe I felt like I was the only person I could trust, idk. But Ive moved and ever since I moved out of that trauma I only talk to myself very rarely. Please don’t judge me as crazy.

As far the artwork each sticky note holds the cover art for a girl I loved so much. But like the ending of the song, "she will attack me" is the figure in the right hand side. Again that's why I was so heartbroken when the one I loved ended, because she made me feel safe because she saw the truth and found out herself I was not what that monster said I was.

But Ive moved out of that terrible place. And I am taking my life back, my sanity back, and going to move forward healing.

A Lot On My Mind

🟢SPOTIFY🟢

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] A Lot On My Mind

Beat produced by: panther beats
Mixed and reproduced by yours truly.

I was let go from work Thursday. I wanted to open up about how they made me forget my worth, and not complain but try my best to focus on keeping my head up and being fearless. I can’t talk about what happened there but I survived two years. And I pray what happened to me doesn’t happen to the other 5 new people that just started. (But with all the screaming and yelling that happens there I don’t see them staying long.)

(honestly I’m panicking trying to find a job) so I hope this song will change my life for the better.

Rings of Saturn

[𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘𝗗] Rings of Saturn

This is my first draft.
Ive finally started to let myself move on from the relationship I sing about on "Hurts Inside"

I finally stopped lying to myself and accept she wasnt the person I thought she was. Man when you hear a girl say "you deserve the bare minimum" it makes you want to trust and believe in them forever. Good things always come to an end amd so my love for you follows.

🆄🅽🅼🅸🆇🅴🅳 Tellin Me Nothin

I’m just trying to make music to talk about my experiences outside the midwest. Hoping I can find others who relate. In the end, I hope you can connect with my artwork.
IN -> FL -> GA -> CA ->?

If you message me your song I’ll always listen. :)

𝕭𝖊𝖞𝖔𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 🅼🅸🅳🆆🅴🆂🆃

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