sometimes i like to choose only one random phrase and sing it

the phrase here:

у меня начинается депрессия когда я долго не вижу себя в зеркале.
(I get depressed when I don't see myself in the mirror for a long time)



note 21.01.25

zerkalo

i really love how my voice sounded on the first take and i cant rerecord it better... feel stupid cause its very demo for the world but for me the process of recording felt like warm light in the cold corner -  i played the piano + loop the melody and record two voices in 20 mintues ((sorry im very new in this i cant be cool now im learning and study music for a year only and when i made this i was only 3 or 2 months of studying audio mind and do some practice)) – i couldnt believe that i can make it and i can just be and just sing on my stupid piano loop. the first freestyle in my life.  i dont think that i could rerecord my voice better than this so maybe its time to let go this song... maybe someday i'll do something with this.

made this in the middle of december 2024

its about the eternal love im looking for to share with somebody with. but you never know when, why and how. you just have to keep living and believe in love.
dedicated to my love of life. i know we gonna meet someday and share this life together. i love you.

lyrics:
где-то (somewhere)
спрятано твое сердечко (your heart is hidden)
где-то (somewhere)
оно сидит и смеется надо мной, над всеми (it sits and laughs at me, at everyone around)
где-то (somewhere)
можно взять и успокоится, наконец (you can finally take it and calm down)
где-то (somewhere)
спрятаны все ответы, на любой вопрос (all the answers to any question are hidden)
где-то (somewhere) 
где-то мы есть на самом деле (we really are somewhere)
где-то (somewhere)

gde-to

hahahaha it's a quick note of my insight about relationship between me and the world. i started to accept more my fate after i recorded this and more understanding came to my mind about my past. its just the truth that i have to admit. but anyway
it was very funny to record this - some day of february 2025, i was trying to sleep, but then decide to kill some time in Logic.Pro, i liked the beat and began to shout in a whisper the word "resource" (i couldnt be louder because everyone at home was sleeping) idk why but my mouth choose that word. and then i understood why and what it is about.... xDD

lyrics:

кто я для тебя?  ( who am i to you? )
музей?  (museum?)
костюм? (a suit?)
акссесуар? (accessory?)
ресурс (resource)
я твой ресурс (im your resource)

я здесь чтобы тебе стало легче, милый (im here to make you easier, honey) 
справляться с невзгодами в этом безумном мире (to cope with adversity in this sick world) 

ресурс (resource)
я твой ресурс (im your resource)

хавай сколько хочешь (hit as much as you want)
хавай сколько можешь (hit as much as you can)
но все равно ты меня никогда не догонишь (but you'll never catch me anyway)

resource

my random musical note from march 2025. 
i started to feel that somebody is watching me and the only thing that i could make for myself to feel less creepy - write a song about this hahaha

i love the melody i made on guitar! but unfortunately i was holding guitar not like a human being..... i was interested in strings and was very curious about how they would sound if i start to playing on them like a monster ( my guitar looked more like a double bass than guitar at that moment - but i was standing in front of her and used her strings like a mom brush child's hair). sorry im very new in music and i dont feel comfortable to hold a guitar but i like strings. dont want to hurt anyone feelings with that information, but i assure you - my guitars accept my autism and let me play on them and hold them how i want to. 

lyrics: 

why you standing there like a shadow 
don't look back
I want to scream on you asking 
are you there
do you want to say something 
why you standing there like a shadow
I see your eyes want to runaway 
runaway

RUNAWAY

it’s about feeling complete even in the total loneliness 

dedicated to the greatest spirit ive ever know (me and you)

i wrote this note? song? in the end of november 2024 and after that for the first time of my life i realise that i was looking for a spirit not just a human. 
i felt that spirit all my life and i tried to сreate from people something alike that spirit, but it always ended like not real thing because humans started to feel like projects. i always wanted a friend like me but i forgot about the spirit thing.   

so i stopped to make creative projects from people brains let go everyone and started to focus on myself and my legacy.

i would rather have all the time of the world but being alone,
than give everything to people and in the end stay like a squeezed lemon because there is no energy left for myself. 


and yeah i know that its sounds weird (im about music) but i dont care im still learning how to produce myself into the music. dont take it serious.

lyrics:

встала утром  (i got up in the morning)

и кудато снова делись все силы  (and suddenly all my strength was gone again)

день пройдёт а за ним и ночь (a day will pass, followed by a night)
и я не встречу вновь твою улыбку  (and I won't see your smile again)

все время сама с собой (all the time I'm with myself)
в поисках еще одной попытки (looking for another attempt)
чтобы стало жить чуть чуть легко (to make life a little easier)
пребывая в мире (exist in this world)

но никто на тебя не похож (but no one is like you)
пусть проходит мимо год (let another year passing by)
но никто на тебя не похож (but no one is like you)
никто ( no one) 

ищу во взглядах ту искру (looking for the spark in their eyes that)
с которой к звездам попаду (take me to the stars)
но в них вижу лишь былой огонь (but i see only old fire in them)
от которого бегу прочь (who im running away)
ничего я не найду ( i wont find anything)
поэтому одна продолжу путь (so i'll continue my way alone)
правда просто в том (the truth is)
что ты не похож ни на кого (you dont look like anyone else)


не похож (you dont look)
Не похож ни на кого  (you dont look like anyone else)
Мы не похожи ни на кого (we dont look like anyone else)


эти руки целовать красиво (these hands are beautiful to kiss)
устала разжевывать чужие мысли, (im done processing other people’s thoughts)
показывать людей под другим углом (show people their different sides)
жаль нельзя продублировать человека (how sad you cant dublicate a person)
мне б с собой стало поприятней и легко (i would feel more comfortable and easy with myself)

NIKTO/ETI RUKI TSELOVAT KRASIVO

YOU .
YOU BECAME WHAT YOU ATE ^_^


some note from the end of december 2024

yo became what you ate

die pokushat die die ._.


lyrics:
дай покушать то что ты сделал ( let me eat what you did)


if i correctly remember this note was recorded in the end of february 2025?? 

P.S. IM HUNGRY!!!!!!!

let me eat

merge my pdf.  random jam with myself on march 2025
freestyle + lyrics from another my song 

merge my pdf

i made this note on april and i forgot about its existence. glad to find it now! i love my voices here

somebody else

hi im newbie in music production
and this is my musically notebook
all notes created by my brain, voice and hands...
dont take it serious ^_^
thank you.

bibibakha superstar

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