metanoia (noun)
me·ta·​noi·a

a transformative change of heart,
especially a spiritual conversion.

metanoia

anagapesis (noun)
an·​uh·​gah·​pee·​sis

when a person loses feelings for one they've formerly loved;
completely falling out of love.

anagapesis

malotype (noun)
mal·uh·tahyp

a person, or thing, which embodies everything 
that you deeply hate about yourself.

malotype

when a silence is deemed "loud," it means that there has been things left unsaid and things left undone - communication, respect, and actions were thrown aside.

whether you are receiving this loud silence because of a broken relationship, death, or many other reasons, please realize that you are not alone. there are many others with you in the dark, waiting for that one letter, text, call, or knock at the door. some people think they know how to handle the "end" of things, but they do not know how to act or react to sorrow - so, they do nothing for you. they carry on because they want to avoid burdens themselves. this isn't healthy for either party.

this leaves you reeling from a compounded pain - a deep feeling of abandonment. the broken marriage, the engagement, the relationship, the friendship.. and now only the confusion of silence from those you love, and who you thought loved you too. someone's silence during an extremely difficult time speaks volumes more than anything they could or would ever possibly say - the action and choice in itself already tells you their motivations, intentions, and priorities. 

you're there, and now you once were. 

please remember that there is no closure in the quiet. 
if and when you do find yourself in the position of the silencer against another’s feelings, actions, decisions, or life choices, please... do not just disappear from their life. we have been taught and conditioned that communication during these situations equals obsession, attachment, or a nuisance and a bother - there is nothing wrong with frequent communication, as long as it is done correctly in a healthy manner.

remember that you just may very be the one anchor holding that person to a place of safety and security, no matter what happened between the both of you. 

i truly understand not wanting to argue, defend, fight, and or to not be miserable... but have you considered that silence is horrifying and painful to the person receiving it? the hurt do not know that you don’t know what to say. that you do not know how to act, or what to offer, or how to be there for them. there is no closure, and there is no resolution to what you've left them. all they just see and know now is that you, too, are gone forever after everything you've done for them, just as it would be for you doing everything for someone else and being silenced. it is really a vicious thing to do to another human being - you are forcing them to grieve yet again, and to try to do the work set out for two. if you are going to become quiet against another person, then communicate this - but only communicate it once everything is tied off and resolved. never leave loose-ends.

silence is, and always will be, a killer. in more ways than one.

the loudest silence is a broken heart

ochisia (noun)
o·​kee·​si·​a

the fear that the role you once occupied in someone’s life 
can and will be refilled without a second thought.

ochisia

⁹₉⁹ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ᵇ ˡ ᵏ ᵍ ʰ ˢ ᵗ  ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ⁱ ˢ
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ °+   ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ʰ ⁱ ᵇ ᵉ ʳ ⁿ ᵃ ᵗ ⁱ ⁿ ᵍ
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎@natural-habitat‎

  ‎ ‎ᵐʸ ᵐᵘˢⁱᶜ ⁱˢ ʰᵒʷ ⁱ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ⁻ ⁱ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵃ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ

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