i think one of your ears is bigger than the other
and you just dropped a pupusa on your nice sundress
asked me about my grandpa
you laughed when i started to cry
you tell me i look ugly
you tell me i look like my tio
i like you
my dishwasher hands looked ugly
i looked at my hands
i had water in my socks
i fell asleep on my break
i dreamt of a lot of things
i dreampt of my grandpa
i dreampt i lived in texas
i dreamt i made my mom proud
mexican girl
i woke up and rubbed my eyes
my hands were still raisins
i stood up and walked back to the dishes
on my way back there was a young girl my age
walking on the same side of the street
as me,towards me
i crossed the street to the other sidewalk where she wasn't walking
i was scared i was gonna scare her
why do i write these things
why am i ever anywhere
you'll hate me if you meet me i hope i never meet you
its all in my head, please let me see
i think i feel okay now
but you are all over the sky to me
i think that means i love you
why do i write these things
why am i ever anywhere
i'lll cut my finger dishwasing and go home 3 hours later
and feel the weight of how mean i really am to myself
and hold it all back
i'm lonley and happiest that way
i hold it back and layed down on my bed and cried harder than i ever cried that everything just ends up funny
and hope it takes a while to fall asleep
the dark room and my reflection
i get so scared it makes me sick
banuelos' eyes whispered i wish you weren't so sad my love
when she tried to help me
when all i saw was powder brick finger and i never could
the nights warm and raspy and my cuts still wet
i kicked off my dishwasher shoes and thought about my brother and how he always tries his best
my cuts taring bigger
a bad year in one day
but there's an especially beautiful cricket singing outside my window
when the sun comes up it smells like Mexico
my heart warms up in my raisen hands


NAST

Melon Sharing On My Dishwasher Break

Niko was hanging out down the street
his head down
and looking lost
his fleas were eating the insides of his ears
Nikos whole face was wet with trash
he had cigarette burns on his back and he had worms
dirty brown dog why don't you run away
Niko came up and licked my hands
his fleas were hopping on my arm
Niko's fleas bite me
his fleas bite me
Niko was afraid of the passing cars so we carried him all the way home
that night Niko slept in Panchito's bed
At night
Nikos fleas bite me
his fleas bite me

Niko

green and grimy stupid ass rats
chewing up
my brown socks
screaming at each other on the carpets on our roof
rainy nights smoking spice
while the vampires above us mistook us for mice
headless swimsuit barbies
sinking to the bottom of some Jacuzzi
Christmas lights wrapped around the virgin Mary's feet drowning ice blocked size hails shrieking out the sky
my chancals so deep in the mud
i cant see them
watching the hungry homeless cows
stand under the messed up bridge next to my grandpas house
my mom bathed me and my brother en la manguera
i hated visiting my grandpas house
i walked down my hallways
i see all the fish
except there is no fish
except just me
color in me and my childhood hieroglyphics
the stray dogs scared me
i was scared they were gonna pee on my grandpa
the mosquito bite on my eyes burned
and at night we slept on the floor and listened to my grandpa snore
color in me and my childhood hieroglyphics
when i cant take it

Childhood Hieroglyphics

writing romantic haiku's on my desk
my counselor walks in breathes down the back of my neck
he tells me he wants to name his Persian kitten Cesar chaves
my counselor looks at me sadly
sees the naked muscular morgan freeman i drew on my desk
ADHD kicking in
my pupils dilate
my counselor lays his hand on my shoulder tells me
maybe you oughta be in those slower paced classrooms
but i want to be a mysterious poet
i tell him
but i want to be a poet
i'll get my degree in poetry
but i'll be in those slower paced classrooms
college
my counselor pulls on his grey mustache
he tells me hel istend to my bands album i left on his table
he asks me if he could give me some constructive criticism
then he gave me
constructive criticism
i drag my feet to the anime club sadly and meet up with my good friend
chris hernandez
he asks me why my eyes are so wattery while he counted his yu gi oh cars
my counselor says my band fucking stinks
and ya hurt my darn tootin feelings
i'll be a college boy instead
i'll study things i read
walking to my basic algebra class room why am i here
sociology 103 why am i here
slower paced classrooms i am here

College

well the squid tells me that i cant play the trumpet even tho the shy sensitive poet that this world has turn me into actually writes poetic brass lines while i can play the pendejo ass trumpet
Furthermore i believe that this narration inspired by this bothersome squid has indeed shut the heck up please
has indeed smeared the deep meaning of this heart warming song since i can play the darn tootin trumpet
when the cholo approaches me
his shirt is like 3 of my shirt
its very big
its vergy big
and he's approaching me
and he looks
not
pleased
the cholo slapped my head he says i'm too loud
his big shaved head stared me down made me a mutt
my obnoxious voice it made him howl
careful what you say the large cholo said
maybe
i was a little m3ean to that nce german lady
maybe
all she wanted to do was help me
seeping thru my guts it made my heart darker
my evil heart heard by freddie the cholo
he stole my cup and he threated my life
just to defend the german lady i harassed
my obnoxious voice it made him howl
weeks later that dumbass cholo got fucking jumped
seems wrong my fingers start to turn into forgotten hands
seems wrong where do these evil thoughts come from
seems wrong my stomach laughed at the cholo's pain
seems wrong my heart cries for the cholos pain
seems wrong

Freddie The Cholo And I The Squid

in my tree house, by myself
i wipe my snot tears, by myself
i smell like hamster food, by myself
i'm climbing down, by myself
i see greaseball and petunia he's gonna fix her up
his thick mustache in petunia like don chente
steam rising from petunia he's gonna cool her down
petunia's overheating pull her over close the hood
my huge brown nipples sensitive
greaseball asks me why mascara's running down my face
i changed the subject like poet n stared into the night
petunia's greaseballs whip on her last legs she starts to shake
more steam rolls up
cinco de mayo trumpets vomiting thru the radio
petunia trembles
pull up her hood
fill her up with some H2O
the clouds grow sarcastic
petunia trembles
greaseball hops in and backs her up
he goes down baseline then he whips it left
and there's a huge grease spot
where petunia was parked
and it smells like burning car seat

Petunia

i walk down my street
nobody wants to look at me
i got no money in my pockets
thought i at least had a peso
last week your hyna said she saw me screaming at the wells fargo ATM machine
guess they stole my shit
I'm broke
i live in a trap
guess i cant make this money yet
I'm probably gonna blast myself
or maybe this song will make it to the billboard top 100
and make me all the money i need
but probably not I'm probably just gonna die alone
I'm broke
that's how it goes in cookie world

Broke

i wont amount too much to them
i held it in what have i done
i knew it I'd miss you what have i done
i hang out in front of the laundry machine
i watch the clothes swirl around and scream
my blank stare fills in the spaces you left
my heart breaks and the world makes sense
i feel you in my sweater holes
i feel you in my shoes and toes
i feel you in my gross ass hair
i feel you in the time passed by
I'll throw huge ice bags through my neighbors car doors
and chase all the mangy pigeons outside
I'll set fire to San dimas baseball field
and share chocolate in my pocket i want to share with you

Chocolate

you scratched up my back
i feel your long ugly fingers
they're scratching off my eye brows
you scream at me in Chinese
your tail goes down my pants
my legs they start to shake
you bite on my lips
i punch you in your flea collar
little iguana i see you in my dreams
when my dream starts to end
i know I'll wake up alone
covered in sweat
and I'll stare
at the mold on my ceiling
chanlito opens my door
and sees me smashing my monkey
i walk out my room and see Niko in the mud
he looks at me and doesn't care
his paws are covered in dirt
the suns too bright for me
i walk back to my room
these nightmares follow me

Little Iguana

am i a loser?
i ask my grandma am i a loser?
i practice anime fighting moves while I'm watching hentai
i sit alone at my cousins quinceneara am i a loser?
all these Marilyn Manson girls laughed at my gothic poetry
i tried to show them my sexy heart and now my heart oh the shame
oh snikies am i just a freak? they're laughing at my jean shorts
those marylin mansons girls they're laughing at my jean shorts
feeling fucked in my dishwasher shoes
so fucked in my dishwasher shoes
its the debt in my cerebral estoy arrecho carino
while these fat snakes are laughing out birote the musical
you all laughed at my gothic poetry
you all laughed
Breathe in deep
or forget it
i'll hide
these humans voices scare me
these conversations scare me
i always feel like i need to hide the throb in my pants conversations with humans terrify me
let me hide
i am worried loser you humans terrify me
am i a loser? my dog louie sleeps in my arms am i a loser?

Loser

El viejito
me dijo
mi hijo no tengas miedo
estoy arrecho carino
Puso su brazo sobre me
y me levante y le oi decir
estoy arrecho carino
cuando llege a mi cuarto havia una rata muerta en mi piso
y paresia
cansado y mojado
Solo adentro en mi cuarto

Estoy Arrecho Cariño

this taste in my mouth
while this mutt tries to kill me
this taste in my mouth while these ghosts strawberry vanilla kiss me
a mutt from Guadalajara semi circles around me
he shows me dirty crooked orphan teeth
i held out a sandwich
for his dying mouth
sad hate and hurt stare Cobain and Lennon's corpses 69ing in his eyes
oh no
this mutt tries to kill me
jalisco street mutt don't want sandwich from my shaking hand
jalisco street mutt creeps closer
all the angles in Guadalajara were no where to be found
oh my dying bones they dry up like those ghost tongues
his face takes one step closer all i wanted to do was feed him
showing me all his teeth
all those dirty teeth
i stared into that mutts eyes too long this time
lone masked
cacooned love
me in bed oh me in bed
hurt eyes attracting flies
jalisco street mutt left an itchy puppy deep in my eyes
its not the pups fault
its not the mutts fault
i think i let it grow in me
Deje mi miedo bajo de mi lengua

Jalisco Street Mutt

behind the 99 cents store
a little girl called my dog ugly
yes it hurt my feelings
i guess i'm not as tough as i look
i held my dog
in my buff brown arms
and shed a lil tear
and i walked home
the short way home
My dog isnt ugly, just one of his legs is a little shorter than the other
Lola la mokosa with her tiny judgemental forehead
by the bus stop i saw Lola's older brother jake doing community service
jake saw me
and pulled out his house keys
white powder on the tip of his keys
he says this is called kitty
now here take this
i snorted it up my nose and felt nothing
my feet turned into Aretha Franklin voice
charcoal leather feathers lined in the funny feelings in my throat
where did my dog go?
i couldnt find my dog anywhere
Jake held out what he called 2CE he said "here take this you'll feel better right away
i put it under my tounge
Jake watched and smiled
Lola showed up and saw me ripping my shoe
she sat next to jake and they watched my fate
my penial gland was a red carpet for sea otters
my fingers became the falling brown sky
fuck
i looked around to see where my dog went
the 2CE rubbed on the kitty up in my nose
i felt my life end in La Chilendrinas voice

Lola La Mokosa

My nose bled all over my hands
my hands smelled like gasoline
comi la naranja que robe
held back the fear in my eyes
my brother gave me a swollen black eye
i burnt all the last pictures of his dog
peluche hopped the fence
my brother's scared now he'll forget how he looks
why did i wake up
my brother smushed chili peppers in my cut
the bite peluche left on my cheek
was turning purple and yellow
i laughed with the honey in my teeth
burns my throat

Birote The Musical

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