[chorus]
she kills me, breaks me, buries me in cedar wood
this coffin can’t hold me down too long
i gotta break out
a heart cannot repair in the same place it broke
the dust settles on these pieces now
and i can’t cope

[verse]
break me down like decay now
the silence breaks the deafened sounds
she rots my core and throws me out
it’s like i never mattered and she doesn’t care now
i never wanna hear those words that’s coming out your mouth
they cut me and these wounds are steady bleeding me out
i gotta leave this fucking life and this shitty town
i cast myself into the river just to fucking drown

[verse 2]
i told that girl that i can’t love no more 
i swear to god you broke me all apart 
i know that some of it was all my fault 
we share the blame and hurt won’t mend the heart
you say you love me but love don’t feel this way
i hide my scars to maybe numb the pain
with no remorse you feel no fucking shame
just play with hearts like this is just a game

[chorus]
she kills me, breaks me, buries me in cedar wood
this coffin can’t hold me down too long
i gotta break out
a heart cannot repair in the same place it broke
the dust settles on these pieces now
and i can’t cope

cedar wood (prod. killedmyself)

iCarlby EP coming soon...
Produced by @horoshavibes & @jolst
Engineering, additional vocals & lyrics by Horosha
Art by Katie Imbro

LYRICS
When you ask me how I’ve been
I can honestly say
I’ve had better days
Here’s to plenty more up ahead of me
With blurry eyes and a clouded brain
It’s hard to keep straight
Current reality from memories

I’m not so sure
I’ll live to see tomorrow
Or pay back what’s been borrowed
So I’m holding onto this feeling
And even though we all go
I don’t plan on leaving

(Horosha)
No I don’t plan on leaving

Because beyond this frame of mind
I see something out in the distance
When clarity is hard to find
I know true growth comes from persistence

Put steel in your bones
We’ll make it through the storm
Because we all have tired souls
But I promise you
We’re not far from home

(Carlby & Horosha)
No I don’t plan on leaving
‘Cause not matter how fierce the storm
I know there’s something to fight for
And even though we all go
I don’t plan on leaving no

Listen on Spotify!

Even Though We All Go, I Don't Plan On Leaving (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

losing sleep and its just getting harder,
-+- mix & master, lyrics by me
prod. domesticsoul -+-
(lyrics)
ive been losing my sleep, and i dont wanna see the day end
ive been losing my sleep, and i dont wanna see the day end
ive been losing feeling, when i feel it in my head
you been so damn jealous, im just talking to all of my friends
cant make you my everything, trying to push me around just
rest a little, while you are thinking about me
life's so little, just want to clear my own head
but it doesn't work, it never works

it never works, just want to clear my head
while you are thinking about me.

i been losing all my sleep
i dont wanna see the day end
when i feel it all in my head
i dont wanna feel a thing
these thoughts are filled with suicide
never to be around again
a hidden message, held within

made and finished 7/12/22

losing sleep (domesticsoul)

prod. heydium

lyrics:
and ive got a lot of problems
stuck inside my head
and lookin in the mirror
i tell myself "man i wish u were fuckin dead"
and its always the same...
this fucking life is nothing but pain
i swear to god this isnt me
what happend 2 the person 
that i used to be...
the person that i used to be...

ive been this way for so damn long now
i cant seem to get my head above the clouds
its always raining on me now
i cant look up, there's only down
i think i dropped my sanity
somewhere on the ground 

it seems like all i do these days 
is run my mouth
i sit alone inside my room
and make these fuckin sound
and i dont know when 
it all went south
and everything 
just drags me down..
everything just drags me down
while this world just spins around...

problems in my head, p.2 [+heydium]

22@
nothing more than u.^^^^^^
,goodnight
-----------------------------------------------------------------
;lyrics
--------
dreaming, a nightmare, comes over my head!
i forgot, where I am
i drove out, too far, and somehow don't understand
every single thing in this world, hates all my plans!

in the middle, of nowhere, i been calling your name!
as the time, keeps on passing, i hope that youll stay!
everybody in this world, is too busy to stay!
ill drive, these kilometers, are too much to even say!

I JUST WANNA BE WITH YOU
I JUST WANNA DREAM WITH YOU!
im sorry that im broke my dear, 
there isn't much i can do

sell the car, and stop buying food
cancel trips, and seeing all my dudes
the ciggs, the drugs, the alcohol too\
the fun is over, death, number 2

see me in the streets tonight!
i just wanna feel, alive
i just wanna be someone, before i finally die

in the middle, of nowhere, i been calling your name!
as the time, keeps on passing, i hope that you'll stay!
everybody in this world, is too busy to stay!
ill drive, these kilometers, are too much to even say!

death number 2

@navyxower
@strivemusicau
@northshoremusic
@torvamia
@shizukesaaa

h3art_3at3r w/ NAVYXOWER, strivesad, The North Shore, torvamia & shizukesa. [+ sogimura]

mixed by me
mastered by Ally Holloway
produced by metlast
artwork by my gf <3

constantly looking towards the sky
and wondering why i’m even alive
i can never begin to fathom
why i was even put here on this earth
was it just suffer?
beyond what i could imagine?..
i’ll let gravity, grab me by the feet
to pull me 6ft deep

(oh underneath 
their decaying bodies still haunt me)

dragging me under the ground
slowly suffocating so i can’t make a sound
it seems i’ve found a new home
with the ghost around im less alone
hoping i could find a better way
to rid the world of my lunacy
looking for any opportunity
to fade away and ameliorate this world…

of me
so cold
and empty

so i solidified the thoughts inside my head
the thoughts that were telling me i’m better off dead
no matter what you said to me
6ft deep is where i fended up being
so as the light from the tunnel grew darker and darker 
my mind grew further and further away
you should’ve stayed stayed with me 
but you left my body alone to decay

(you left me alone
traversing the unknown)

ameliorate this world (metlast)

lyrics:

Kick back 
Smokin’ weed with my boys now 
I don’t really give a fuck about the noise now 
Turnt up head banging to the breakdown 
Double cup, I’m fucked up, I been feeling like a letdown 

Kick back 
Smokin’ weed with my boys now 
I don’t really give a fuck about the noise now 
Turnt up head banging to the breakdown 
Double cup, I’m fucked up, I been feeling like a letdown 

I been feelin’ like a letdown again 
I can barely breathe and keep it together I’m in my head 
Living check to check to invest in myself so I’m the best 
At what I do 
Music saved my life when I thought popping pills was cool 

I coulda been on the news 
Liquor in my cup, and my blood just became infused 
I was getting fucked up every night to forget you 
Fighting all the demons in my head that you let loose 

Kick back 
Smokin’ weed with my boys now 
I don’t really give a fuck about the noise now 
Turnt up head banging to the breakdown 
Double cup, I’m fucked up, I been feeling like a letdown 

Kick back 
Smokin’ weed with my boys now 
I don’t really give a fuck about the noise now 
Turnt up head banging to the breakdown 
Double cup, I’m fucked up, I been feeling like a letdown 

5 AM I’m gettin outta bed
Guess I gotta face another fuckin’ day again 
Barely getting by I got myself in debt again 
But I’m out in Denver, it don’t matter I still pay my rent 

I been making music every day 
Workin a job I slave away 
60 hours a week 
I put my OT in me 
Make a sacrifice to live this life 
I’m feelin’ so geeked 
Cause I got everything that I ever wanted right front of me 

Kick back 
Smokin’ weed with my boys now 
I don’t really give a fuck about the noise now 
Turnt up head banging to the breakdown 
Double cup, I’m fucked up, I been feeling like a letdown 

Kick back 
Smokin’ weed with my boys now 
I don’t really give a fuck about the noise now 
Turnt up head banging to the breakdown 
Double cup, I’m fucked up, I been feeling like a letdown 

Stayin’ mile high 
Rollin up a backwood 
I’mma roll it tight 
Take a puff I’m in cut 
Bitch, you down to ride?

Mitsubishi eclipse 
We goin out for a drive
Six speed in the foreign we ride 
NeverxHappy a vibe 
Grinding, rapping, making it happen singing songs about his life 

Fuckin’ up the nightlife, I’m from the 305 
Living life like a movie, one frame at a time 

I’ve been feeling like a letdown 
I’ve been feeling like a letdown 

>self produced<

letdown

is there anyone home?

lyrics

[mæsk]

i cant listen to to u speak, gone and not coming back
she’s the one that fucked me up 
now she wanna blame her past now
feeling sloshed baby so u wanna talk now
i just needa stop 4 ur pushing me around

i should not
but now she in my arms
the face that look like heaven but behind 
its a ahhhhh
she calls my name like a saint
she fucked me up
but when in arms we can run it back

im running back on my own, dirt shoes
but she right on my neck to pay her dues
she said “i just hate it, i dont wanna make it if im not with you”
know ur on ur own on this one
but i can make it fun
my angel speaks, i wont listen
i think the horns have won

[flesh]
you can say you're sorry all you want know you dont mean it
you just wanted someone you could fuck and share your weed with
never really gave a shit about how i was feeling
im a hollow body to you none of it had meaning

hollow bodies w/ flesh golem (flesh x nihil空)

this song is not mine, all rights belong to Currents, their label, and distributor 

Instrumental: https://youtu.be/zmIre3J1ojk

Currents spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5pqvAI85RMxL9K0xHvSwGu?si=FJwbbjQOQQGA58Y_kqlQcQ

LYRICS

All alone inside my head
All alone inside my head

To escape the thought of loneliness is to resist
There's no point to refuse this
Crawling toward something serious
I'm not trying to push you, I'm just too distant
Is this who you are?
'Cause it's not who I am
You can't make me change
I'm just a shell with no substance

Now I know that I'm all alone
And nobody will come to save me
This is how, how I fall apart
All alone with these nightmares in my head

In time the walls surround me
Decrepit fixtures on the shelf all fade from my memory
Trembling behind the mask
Devoid of anything resembling humanity
Always under pressure, I dissolve
Void in my vacancy
Buried underneath it all
In silence, I sink

Now I know that I'm all alone
And nobody will come to save me
This is how, how I fall apart
All alone with these nightmares in my head

All alone inside my head
All alone inside my head

I can't give myself to you further
For everything's so meaningless to me
I'll rip out your heart 'cause that's all I'm good for
I can't be your shepherd if I'm lost

Now I know that I'm all alone
And nobody will come to save me
This is how, how I fall apart
All alone with these nightmares in my head
Now I know that I'm all alone
And nobody will come to save me
Now I know that I'm all alone
All alone with these nightmares in my head

WRITTEN BY CURRENTS

how i fall apart (Currents cover)

prod. secre swallowtail x heyrick
mixed/mastered by me
quote from spice and wolf <3

Lyrics:

oh, i been feelin lately, the hole you left in my cardiac
i guess you could say it, but i really want the privilege
every conversation we're having always feels frivolous
oh yea you think her tongues sharp, just wait until the knife comes
i really hope he loves you, in the same way that i did
cause i gave half my life in pursuit of what you said
blood been pumpin faster, she a heart attacker
these chains around my ventricles shackle me to the chapel

don't wanna break it down but i got words for you baby
this sonnet i'm singing, oh it don't do it justice
oh, im so full of rage uhh, all i feel is hate now
every syllable from your mouth feels fuckin disgustin
i can't shed now, my tears have burned away
oh my passionate admiration for ya, has only turned to disdain

[bridge]

my heart's been disfigured by the shadow of a sinner
every time you text me oh my sanity runnin thinner
we were meant to be but baby we can never be
cause i see right through you and every lie ya said to me
you thought of yourself as knowledgeable and worldly
but honestly you're as immature as it gets
and with every nerve ending in my body
i wanna be loved in the same way i love another

clearly you dont see me
heart's green with bleeding envy
i see right through you chest untempered glass
even the holy blessed temple won't offer sanctuary to your ass
everything you wrought, was of your own accord
and honestly i think you left cause you were bored
and that might just be fine if i could get you out my mind
striving for that point where i don't love you anymore

cardiac_arrest (secre x heyrick)

❤ IV | Stay safe, | ❤
˅˅ i destroyed myself to repair you, ˅˅
i miss your voice,
official bizzies archive.
some songs ive put a lot of effort into, others i have not. you'll find them here