2 nights ago i was feeling run down except it was clear that life in the last couple of months got to me. people, money, the universe sending aggressive signals i've been trying to avoid. i wanted to come back to writing-recording rough records to feel better. i did. written at 1 in the morning, April 16. recorded at 2. i'm coming back to myself

lyrics:

2 bodies in a room
full of books to read
a piano to play
but i hear no words echoing
no sound

do you still believe
there's a way to
light up a fire 
easen the cold
but we have nothing left to burn
what can we get in return

i sit on the dinner table
quiet as fog
reading the movement of your hand
passing me by
as i wait for a little surprise

everytime
wishing your eyes would finally land on mine
whatever is left, I still wait in line
i wonder, how long will i wait in line

reaching my hand out
i only noticed now

a piano to play

that one song midnight favors. in my quiet time, i think about tenderness and loving– forces that bind us to sanity. song by coco 💌

it wouldn't hurt us both / cover

another 2 am project. light song but ouchy. i have small tears. yabag man, pero bahala na hahaha

feels like home (cover)

a very barren cover of Ariel's song. when you're the first one to arrive at a meeting, sing. 💜🧜‍♀️

part of your world (au naturel)

IM CRAWLING THROUGH LIFE AND THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS MAKING ME FEEL. yes it's super raw, raw veggie. it's sad and crumbling, as always.

lyrics:

haze and maze in my head
i should be happy with myself, instead
the dark plays with my barrenness
i keep myself from my very best

see how the heart goes so tired
do you hear my words slip out when i sigh
where do i turn
the nights now burn
i long to be happy

when does it all end
where can i find my place to be
happy

i can choose to be bla bla

(wrote this december time. so, it's not just yesterday that i feel like shit okay thanks bye)

crying vegetable

nearly morning by luke sital-singh.

this bad boy helped me get through tuf times. listen to luke and the version with gabrielle and just feel the warmth soak through your chest YES

(layering this baby took looonger than i thought. especially working from scrap it was like a scavenger hunt on my ugly takes. dont yell at me if u hear cracks cause theyre either dogs and roosters or just the fact that i dont have real recording shit, your guess)

nearly morning (cover)

welcoming may 1 with, SAY IT WITH ME, a sad song. 

nicko and i were talking about songs earlier and i got inspyred lmao. jelly belly so here is the roughest record yet. magically transformed by garageband to make it sound untrashy. written, recorded and uploaded in a night? lets talk about glowup sksks ok

lyrics:

was it like the way you hold my hand indoors
was it like the way you make me feel secure
i know i have to stop the damage in my head but i
can’t, i can’t stop

was it like the way you whisper in my ear
how much you love me so
there are so many thoughts of what it was before, now im
sore, im sorry for my

weak composure, my
gloomy behaviour
my sickening stare
of the truth i cant bear oh
tomorrow might hurt me
tomorrow might mend me
now there’s only me and
my fading reveries

was it like the blazing fire between our skin
oh how i wish i wondered where you’ve been
i know i have to break the glaciers in my chest
tell me how, how to live again

THE END

boo boo baby

a reply song to Coco's no more paradise (link below)

Lyrics:

the world is spinning way too fast for me
my heart is beating way too slow, i cant breathe
where in the universe can i hold myself and sing until i sleep

make me a river or a bed of stars, a million fireflies
besides there’s so much to see

flowers will subside in my mind and grow

and grow, i know

i thought i did so well, 
i think i’m lost again

THE END


no more paradise: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRTwLVjNOHI

idyll

if youd ever decide to come back im here

for my sister, aurora. and for those who have forgotten their spirit. xo

process: sang in the air and decided to add instruments on garageband (i dreaded adding in the instru [kay yabAg] so i cant tell if pre-singing was a good decision). kyut project i did on my spare time cause i just needed to do some music like aloe vera on skin

i wish for better prod in the future :)

10:19:20, 1.49 PM

aurora — through the eyes of a child (experimental cover)

Ray on the guitar <3 cherry wine by hozier, a test cover from a year ago that i completely forgot about!!

cherry wine test cover from a year ago

i'm not great at anything but i have room. i sing to calm myself :) rough records ahead

bjork colao

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