This is a song that we had written in late 2012 that really came together in mid-2013 with lyrics and bass written in 2014. This is one of our first songs that my band, Noctua, had written and started to figure out our actual sound that we wanted to pursue.

Lyrics for the song came from an incident that happened to friend of ours back in our hometown in Texas. It's definitely hard to talk/explain because it's a touchy subject and I really don't want to create any more drama or cause any pain with the family themselves. 

Either way, the prelude focuses on a young man that is spiraling out of control from depression and other dark thoughts/voices. Here he finally gives in and lets the voices takes control, which leads into Lesser Grandstander and the small subconscious that has morals is trying to keep him from doing something drastic, but fails.

Prelude into Descension:

In circles, we talk,
It's nothing we've never done before.
No surprises, walk out,
Numbed of this reaction now.

No closure, wide open,
Infectious behavior untreated.
Takes control, eats my soul.
New man created.

(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT IT SEEMS)
(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT IT SEEMS)
(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT IT SEEMS)
(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT IT SEEMS)
(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT IT SEEMS)
(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT IT SEEMS)
(EVERYTHING WE SEE IS NOTHING THAT HE SEES)

Lesser Grandstander:

Verse:
Doing research,
Where did things go wrong?
Will this be too much?
Is it not enough?
These questions won't stop until they're answered,
What goes inside my mind?

Pre-Chorus:
"I'll never forgive myself, (Oh good God, God please help me now)
I don't know why I did this..." (Oh good God, God please help me now)

Chorus:
What is thing that I have done?
What is this man that I have become?
Keep them from seeing the real me,
Keep them from feeling true pain,
End it now, before it....

Verse:
Racing thoughts,
Can't go back now,
Retractions no longer available.
Only faces shocked, followed by muffled voices,
Just repeating over and over and over and over again.

Pre-Chorus:
"God forgive me, (Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill them all)
Because I won't forgive myself." (Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill them all)

Chorus:
What is thing that I have done?
What is this man that I've become?
Keep them from seeing the real me,
Keep them from feeling more pain,
End it now before it starts...

Outro:
Faster, Faster they run,
Making this much harder than it has to be (Much harder than it has to be)
Faster, Faster they fall.
Run away, runaway,
From our mess I've made.



Noctua - Lesser Grandstander (Demo)

Singer-Songwriter. Active Composer.  Musician.

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Noctua - Lesser Grandstander (Demo)

Black Beanie Music