beef do better

i took a pencil to the stencil
had intention what’s envisioned but they didn’t so
i messed up but no worries it’s alright
i could try another time, but no i kinda like it
i’d be like five when i first tried to write this
story about lightning and dragons in the sky
i would brag and i would lie
despite it all i was bright then
mindless disciple of jesus christ
thought i saw the light until i left
when i was young i was told that i was blessed
because i had three quarters of a family
and cartoons that’d understand me
and a room now that you can’t beat
mr. hand and me would think up of all the things that we can be
plan b pan to the man’s greatest
boo clan the fan favorites
who stand three grand mavericks
who wile and keep smiling
act like we ain’t brainless
don’t try dividing, too tenacious
shouts kyle and nathan

i saw reflections of the moonlight in the rain
all my old perspectives move so new ones can bring change

at seventeen the biggest thing on my mind
was trying to find my people who wouldn’t lie to like me
at twenty found their sequels who would’ve lied to spite me
what a frightening time, thank gods i stayed off of that balcony
downing alcohol and frowning doubting loyalties
my boys were prolly plotting ploys feeling noided
enjoying little, hope had been becoming brittle
scarred from a pitiful cause leave lasting issues with commitment
grab for tissues while i’s written songs about it
shit had planted seeds of doubt which would sprout and stick around
went for round two and found, that shit was worse, outward bound
next up was a waste, all my relationships end in hate
so it’s fuck romance to this day, they say it’s great 
but all i see is faking, lying like we gotta try again
prying in each other’s shit, denying left and right
fighting over nothing but still fucking every night
but fuck it i’m grateful for all the shit that made me so great
i know complaining is my staple but i’m thankful that i’ve struggled
maybe not as much as others but that doesn’t make it nothing
my issues are legit and together have taught me something
it’s not about all your problems and your doubts
it’s you doing something with what you’ve been given that counts
and i’ve been given plenty so i’m always hard on myself
but i couldn’t have done half of this shit without some help 

i saw reflections of the moonlight in the rain
all my old perspectives move so new ones can bring change

i took you back to the beginning
given visions of the end
but i’m not in no position for prediction
i’m just a kid with a difficult mission
pissing away most of the minutes that i been given
made and lost a lot of friends along the way
and i still miss em to this day, wonder if they feel the same
either way know i think about you often
you made me who i am and now you’ll never be forgotten
metaphorically, at least

reflections

nobody gnomey (nobody gnomey)
if we're not homies don’t act like we homies, b
holy frijoles (holy frijoles)
you're full of beans you can’t sit with the king, if you
love me then show me (love me then show me)
my heart is empty so come take a seat, or
you could just blow me (you could just blow me)
i’m not too picky it’s all the same thing

feel like i’m losing it
remove a rib so i can suck my dick
and feel god in me
oh he’s just a little bit odd, inny?
you got it buddy
how couldn’t you love me
i’m cuddlier than a fucking panda
come hug me and purr like you’re fucking santa
sit on my lap here and make a wish
then if you rub on my sack you gon getcha gift
yes that which keeps giving
i have spent my time with shittier women
don’t hold this against me
i’m bold with my vitriol
but i bet it’s getting old
same tho i got problems with trust
in a similar vain may have problems with lust
scrolling through twitter cuckolding this winner
getting into skinny chicks with itty bitty tits
let me be one to admit this is it bitch!

nobody gnomey (nobody gnomey)
if we're not homies don’t act like we homies, b
holy frijoles (holy frijoles)
you're full of beans you can’t sit with the king, if you
love me then show me (love me then show me)
my heart is empty so come take a seat, or
you could just blow me (you could just blow me)
i’m not too picky it’s all the same thing

why did the chicken cross the road?
why did the spread eagle cross the block
talking pretentious shit i don’t know
like why my favorite movie’s casablanca
i walk with a stomp, i
need attention
recently friends seen depleting retention
i’m endless in vision
ambition is limitless
winning’s my mission
i sit when i piss
im bouta blow through this like a frat kid
hol up let me show you my asterisk
no nut november i was a contender
til on the first night i made an early winter
kid’s been a sinner bitch we know this
play the same song and hope nobody notice
but if you’re still around you musta chose this
cut to the chorus and hope somebody blow this, cmon!

nobody gnomey (nobody gnomey)
if we're not homies don’t act like we homies, b
holy frijoles (holy frijoles)
you're full of beans you can’t sit with the king, if you
love me then show me (love me then show me)
my heart is empty so come take a seat, or
you could just blow me (you could just blow me)
i’m not too picky it’s all the same thing

tried so hard to find my rap voice
sound like a pussy choking on some cat toys
horny i’m looking to hit and quit it
not bi but won’t lie some men could really get it
i present you with the truth on the plate
don’t care what you think of me why would i fake?
lemme redirect you to the prequel
say the fifth line with me: i like to fuck with people!

nobody gnomey (nobody gnomey)
if we're not homies don’t act like we homies, b
holy frijoles (holy frijoles)
you're full of beans you can’t sit with the king, if you
love me then show me (love me then show me)
my heart is empty so come take a seat, or
you could just blow me (you could just blow me)
i’m not too picky it’s all the same thing

nobody gnomey

[i heard joke once, man goes to doctor, says he's depressed.  life seems harsh, and cruel]

sick, bitter kid alone in his room at night
sitting in his forever home, or his tomb more like
listening to dopethrone, yeah this doom is right
this world is so fucked let’s end it tonight, i
turned to drugs cuz the cool kids would do it
now i turn to drugs cuz i’m used to it
feeling blue?  got this thing to say screw it
now his dreams fucked and he’s less loopy when he’s using
who, me?  wait, who’s the q producing?
i choose to do this, but who am i is what’s confusing
i make music but how much of it is illusion
i’m only oozing with talents and grandeurly delusions
sin again, then i'll inhale the tranq stitch
listening to grief, getting choked on my lame sitch
i’m an entertainer, prolly one of the most brainless
do this shit for me?
no if you need someone to thank, it’s

pagliacci, only one i got’s me
talking like i got something to say but
i’m an entertainer, push into the aether,
one ear out the other, i’ll paint you up a rainbow, i said
i’m pagliacci, only one i got’s me
talking like i got something to say but
i’m an entertainer, one of the most brainless
hoping i could make it rain with my pain, huh
i’m going crazy

[he feels all alone in threatening world.  doctor says treatment is simple.  the great clown pagliacci is in town]

looking for a job because i know i’ll never make it
walk into the interview, hop around naked
bend over like a whore, fuck me till you hate me
dump me on the floor when i’m eighty
bottles piling, as i sink into the ground
damn that’s wishful thinking, that i’ll even be around
long enough to get to drinking
tell my doctor that i’m feeling down
says the great pagliacci is in town,
but i look in the mirror and i see that famous frown
swaddled by a single tear that’s when i know that i’m bound
for a life filled with fear cuz i’ll always be the clown
recipient of people jeering say we want more music now
but i know what i signed up for
this the life of a talent
people need new shit
fuck your feelings fuck your balance
want silence, less its to a beat
keep your thinking down
we all forgot about your last feat
we need something now

pagliacci, only one i got’s me
talking like i got something to say but
i’m an entertainer, push into the aether,
one ear out the other, i’ll paint you up a rainbow, i said
i’m pagliacci, only one i got’s me
talking like i got something to say but
i’m an entertainer, one of the most brainless
hoping i could make it rain with my pain, huh
i’m going crazy

[go see him, that should pick you up.  man bursts into tears.  but doctor, i am pagliacci]

pagliacci, only one i got’s me
talking like i got something to say but
i’m an entertainer, push into the aether,
one ear out the other, i’ll paint you up a rainbow, i said
i’m pagliacci, only one i got’s me
talking like i got something to say but
i’m an entertainer, one of the most brainless
hoping i could make it rain with my pain, huh
i’m going crazy

[good joke.  everybody laugh.  roll on snare drum.  curtains]

pagliacci

where do i begin? um i’m not fucking cool
i mean i used to be but that was way back in high school
cult of followers who’d call me god and bow to the ground i walk on
saying oh d pitt i love you even though we'd never talked once
you know who you are, i still remember in that hallway
how you’d act like we’re homies so i’m like alright i’ll play
along witcha keep this going on for the popularity
keep baring teeth and glaring like this guy doesn’t even know me
we’re not homies, he’s just faking which then got me to thinking
how many others are there, are my brothers really just tryna trick me
into doing some stupid shit, like that dance and exclaiming d pitt
trained animal on display like i had nothing else to say
there’s a little bit more to me than a guitar and a black shirt
saying i’m perfect when you hadn’t scratched the surface of my worth
but it’s honestly prolly my fault i ever allowed it to happen
can’t say i regret it but i hate to admit to lapsing

young child with a passionate drive
always needing to be better than before
nevermind all the pride in his life
hope this feeling will persist forevermore
until i try to glide and i find
am i really all that? oh, i don’t know…
once i knew there was something more inside
but that was a time long ago

second things second i’m sick of always stressing
obsession with being the best borne of incessant praise
like i know that i was great but does it translate to today
broke the generator in my brain and now i’m feeling drained
but i gotta keep going, i know it, i’m still hoping for
the pittman name to be household which is why
i’m tryna take my time with growing older, keep on holding the boulder
up on top of my shoulders, feel like i’m finally gonna fold
not to take away from the potential of my priors
i have faith despite your constant sighs and efforts tossed aside
it really kills me every time that i hear about you crying
and i’m sorry if this life isn’t quite what you had in mind
i hope i’ve done a decent job of being what you needed
at the time, sorry about the drinking and the weed
but i try to keep it mild, i just gotta do mine
even if that means doing things we both know ain’t right
and i hate when we fight, i swear that it’s the worst
cuz i know it doesn’t show but you’re my favorite thing on this earth
so if you’re searching for some worth then i hope that this might work
and though you try to keep the pain inside i know that it hurts
sometimes i catch a glimpse and i don’t know how to fix it
so i just dismiss it and act like i just simply just missed it
if i could only wish it away then i wouldn’t hesitate
if not for you then who would i be with no one to imitate
i’m a creation of environment and you my prime inspirer 
i know i’ve been a liar i apologize but
you have to recognize who i would’ve been without you
no humor, no music, no future, no doubt
look now your product is legit
old habits still kicking
still ripping off, guess i’ll never switch
but you can bet this bitter bitch is
an accomplished mission
thanks to my accomplice i got
spotting me to rob my vision
thank you

young child with a passionate drive
always needing to be better than before
nevermind all the pride in his life
hope this feeling will persist forevermore
until i try to glide and i find
am i really all that? oh, i don’t know…
once i knew there was something more inside
but that was a time long ago

long ago

maybe i could love myself
maybe my life could have a greater value
that's right!  i'm no more or less than myself
i am me!  i want to be myself
i want to continue existing in this world!
my life is worth living here!

congratulations

oh, thank you all

congradulations

h-a-p-p-why did i let this happen?
this is not an act of men, i’m
done making amends
h-a-p-p-why did i wait for the end?
if it won’t be now then when? i
think we should be friends 

not to say i want nothing to do with you
i used to miss when i could be cool with you
talking all night, staying up late
playing games, you sucked dick, but i wasn’t fazed
then you latched on to me, and i couldn’t escape it
getting pissed at stupid shit i’d forget, i couldn’t take it
nothing that i’d do was ever worthy of forgiveness
but you’d turn my life to shit and act like you were the victim
but i get it cuz you were, i was the worst i’ve ever been
we were hurting each other, which is why i needed the end
always waiting waiting waiting for the change you said was coming
never seen a sign but that was fine cuz i was dumb
as time past you came to suck the life out of my eyes
perpetual pain, interests waned and friendships die
you became my bane, lifted me up and broke my spine
but it wouldn’t be right for me to deny the good times

like when we’d lay on the couch and cuddle and watch all your stupid shows
or how we would get in trouble for hugging in our work clothes
or struggle to say i love you so that you would let me doze
i don’t know, i don’t know…just what the
fuck i was thinking when i asked you to be mine
red flags from the beginning but i pretended that it was fine
eyes were always squinting to see if the end’s in sight
oh no, but you make me so

h-a-p-p-why did i let this happen?
this is not an act of men, i’m
done making amends
h-a-p-p-why did i wait for the end?
if it won’t be now then when? i
think we should be friends 

let’s hope that’s no mistake
same shit every day
learn to pump your fucking brakes
with your dumb, “i want to play!”
as if i don’t have a say
my patience is wearing thin
to the point it’s about to break
appointed my designated lay
because i’m so desperate
fucking nut and then get dressed
pretend like it never happened
i think my memories repressed themselves
but how could you blame them
spent nearly a year inside a hell
and so little’s changed
don’t know why i do this to myself
maybe i like the pain
maybe i’m too nice to say fuck off
and just walk away
other memories may be bitter
but it wasn’t my heart you’d break
it was me and that’s the one thing
that i couldn’t let you take
so here you go you get that fucking
song that you always longed for
even though i know
it’s not enough you’re gonna want more
i’m sorry that i tend to focus on each and every
negative, i guess in the end we have some decent memories

like when we’d play 40k and you’d always win with those fucking wraiths
or one of us would have a shitty day and we’d fuck to make it okay
or we’d fuck because you’re lazy and fucking was just your fav
oh no, i don’t know, just how the fuck
i let you take away all the things that made me me
when fucking’s my only hobby, just fuck all my other needs
fucking to shut you the fuck up cuz fucking was misery
oh no, but you make me so

h-a-p-p-why did i let this happen?
this is not an act of men, i’m
done making amends
h-a-p-p-why did i wait for the end?
if it won’t be now then when? i
think we should be friends 

why did i do this to myself?  now i’m sure that 
we both need professional help

happy

who remembers back when i was a musician
that intuition thousand albums i had something to say
who remembers when i had all that ambition
now my ian curtis wishlist growin every day
who remembers back when i was a musician
my shit uplifting in some whiny kinda nihilist way
who remembers when i had all that ambition
now its slippin feel a little less every day

i know better than to be a bitch but imma be a bitch for a bit
eyes on parallel lives where success is more than existence
limp fisted pissed about the situation i been given
second best rapper i know but that dont mean shit cuz i dont got it ya dig
connections or the inflections what am i missin i got the gimmick
too bad i was born so titless cuz you know id sell that shit in an instance
no dissin id never get it i will admit it i am a prick
but is it too much to ask for some money for being intelligent pretty and slick

im told that im funny i hold that im loving but that dont seem to be enough
im bold and im cunning im gold in the jungle but that dont seem to be enough
i know im talented as shit nobody dare call my bluff
but turns out that thats worth a whole bag of dicks when nobody gives a fuck

back when i was a musician 
i had a vision changing lives was my motivation
who remembers when i had all that ambition
but now i get it to survive i need someone to pay
who remembers back when i was a musician
my shit uplifting in some whiny kinda nihilist way
who remembers when i had all that ambition
now its slippin feel a little less every day

did you know i was a banker for a year
thank the gods for that shitty job i dodged a lame career
now lets move on down the list of ways that i can finally settle
economist claims adjuster fuck it ill just play with metal
forty hour weeks are perfect forty five with commute
six hours of sleep a day leaves me with less than half shoot
least on weekends i can waste away in bed man i am thriving
then monday its more of the same were back to try surviving

i was sold a fictional world in which i could grow old with kids
a house a spouse a couple of pets occasional vacation
but thats dependent on occupation and their spendings been minimization
no wonder im crazed what a wonderful waste of a costly ass education

back when i was a musician
etc

whoremember

ya favorite bitch is back to get it again
im sick of sittin in bed somebody better get him a pen and
get him to jottin the clock is about to pop
the commies coming to take my music thought i asked em to stop
could you imagine me being that fuckin stupid
things ive done and im doing i may be loony but im lucid
full translucence anything but a loser
im the king who you think they invented the number two fer
ya need some help? theres no shame in admittance
i walked in the mental health ward and played with the kittens
they kicked me out got to saying good riddance
hell he'll never kill himself hes too afraid of commitment
thats life innit all the pain and patience business
surviving a plague and coming of age is one and the same bitches
and ill hear no complaining bout all the things that we made shit
20k in debt but thanks what a wonderful way were living

been lost in life since i turned 22 so now i really dont know what to do
i did everything that i was supposed to so how come i been feelin like im screwed
to tell the truth among the best of the youth so wait a sec remind me who are you
i excel at everything that i do thats why youre looking like another number 2

now listen kid theres some wisdom in these lyrics
more than youd think so focus if you blink you might not hear it
im impressed when people listen to this shit
its just i jest and im the best and then i end on the depressed bit
theres no lesson to be learned this aint the message
im just a nerd stressin bout the things i shant address
i prefer to lessen my burdens with cess and bourbon
lest i try to get a word in get deflected to death
but really whats the point
could lead a hog to the water but couldnt stop it from oinking
prolly oughta get a job and hop on out of this joint
had an interview this week but they missed the appointment
immeasurable disappointment my day was ruined
if theyre looking to settle then i shoulda been a shooin
what can you do i can rap better than you
and i took a couple of classes on ancient ruins and evolution

blackshirt

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