black sunday [essentials]

prod. @kaonashibeats

how could you have left us broken?
how could you have left us broken?
broken
so broken
how could you have left us broken?
broken
broken

soulless soul
my shadow grows
they'll never know
they're letting go

i'm so alone
more than before
i cannot roam
i'm born at war

no matter all my efforts, i know it's not enough
i offer you my flesh cause our oath is wrote in blood
if you let go right now, perhaps i'll know freedom
before i'm down, killed by what's left of my love 

how could you have left us broken?
how could you have left us broken?
broken
so broken
how could you have left us broken?
broken
broken

don't let go
don't let go
ghost
can't escape
don't let go

spotify :)

broken vr. 2

prod. tapei

shadows glitch and disappear 
my skin rips and lives in fear 
a program of encoding 
one code preventing me from floating

at the cost of my self loathing
in the kitchen were tip toeing
like children we’re reborn 
a hope arrives that wasn’t there before 

mom and dad had used to scorn 
wearing sleeves, our skin was torn
living in a narrative, we wrote
just to escape her loving ghost

just to breathe in light in this eclipse
build a sanctuary for our love to live 
a love we didn’t know, craft a broken home
we grew to be alone  

***

this was everything i ever wanted i can’t let it go
you were older, guess your departure was not preventable 
camps and fires and tree houses
childhood dreams we barely knew about this 

our innocence was ignorance, a prison left us hopeless
didn’t know what hope is, so we found it in an opus
we had yet to comprehend, a world we could pretend 
a world that existed beyond the words they may have meant 

the words they never said, just two kids they neglect 
weak and can’t defend, the demons in their bed 
a world of our creation, enhancement of enchantment
a phantom lives between us, i can feel it where i’m standing

you had left, i lost my breath
i ran away, and no attempts to reconnect 
but i’m here now, begging for your memory 
tell me it was the same for you as it had meant for me

please tell me you remember me?
do you remember me?
do you remember?
do you remember?
please don't forget
don't move on
i need you
tell me
do you remember?
do you remember?

memory

prod. enluv (@enluv)

todoroki from my hero was sorta lowkey my hero 
if the toxins infiltrate my veins, then now your competition’s zero 
sheesh, you must be relieved 
i learned a lot in all the years i spent on rapper’s leave 

it’s time to pay your lease, it’s time to pay your fees
the dudes who joked a couple years ago, same dudes who treat me like a king
the clock forever spinning when i’m spitting, this is timeless
you’ve discovered treasure, it just took you years to find this

took some tears to write this, all my peers are lifeless
the bars are coming way faster than i can fucking type it 
i’ve captured your ear like i’m just mike tyson fighting 
though, you’re the one who’s biting, so enticing, when reciting

you wanna raise the bar, but cannot reach my height and 
i don’t need a ghost writer, i am too alive when writing 
you’re fearful of what god can’t see, so what i am providing 
is A and S tier projects, your shit the god of C’s, so it’s fuck poseidon 

my autobiography, synonymous with odysseus 
no modesty, fucking honestly,
you're lucky that the music that i make is free for all to see
otherwise i’d run this whole motherfucking economy 

i’ve been giving everything to see my portrait in the frame 
hand crafted, so no one else’s feels the same 
it’s ironic, my vision left me blinded 
i sought to find freedom, and i have yet to find it 

that same hunger, is the reason that i’m starving 
been grinding for 5 years, still feel like i just started 
if i am too unique, they don’t listen when i speak
if i sound like them, i’ve already accepted my defeat

running out the blood that's pumping my veins full of hate 
all my heroes fucking dead, jesus christ is not a saint 
freedom is a sin, and in my skin, i’m never safe 
i’ve become such an insomniac i only dream when i’m awake 

what i mean, is all my dreams, i cant perceive, they’re outta reach
halo deceive, the eyes with gleam, they don’t want me to just be me
but i’d rather die, than to ever be all the fucking same 
i’m not steering, but im swerving into every lane

what i’m hearing, my style needs to change it’s not enough to win the game 
it makes my ear ring, to your ear i’m always chained 
i’m arriving at the end of my road, look how far i came
happy dream manifested into nothing more than sorrow shame
sheeshhhhhh

feng shui

prod. enluv (@enluv)

check his spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5g8EUiiIZDqp2xd9eUUHin?si=FJr8Cws3S36sW-cHq1p7Rg

this goes for 'ms. what’s her name'
i know that there’s no differences between love and chains 
we said we wouldn’t grow apart but something’s changed 
this torture isn’t physical, it’s a bloodless pain 

try not to rupture things, and then the suffer came 
you can see it in my face, i cannot cover shame 
you got me looking like a fool, hoping you texting back 
i get frustrated, no stepping back, i’m on a reckless path 

fuck now i’m regretting that, wonder where your head is at 
all while knowing, that that fucking bed’s a trap
i’m upset, you sent a text, now that’s a dangerous road 
soon as those legs spread, your back bends, now my anger folds

feel like i’m betting against cards that a stranger holds 
adam can’t avoid the curve of sins that the nature chose 
and eve’s a sexy broad, i guess that’s all that matters
i claim i’m better off alone, but from a distance, wish i had her 

i wish i mattered, i wish your matter took a different shape 
demons try to body jump, they target those with pretty face 
young love quite peculiar, starts with white petunias
ends in in bloody broken hearts on my computer, my abuser 

starts with "forever," "i would sacrifice an artery"
then i win the lottery, and now "departing is a part of me" 
that’s the irony of love, you cannot believe it 
quicker that you love her is the quicker that’s she’s leaving 

that’s just how i perceive it, i’m alone and what’s the reason 
i don’t know, you don’t know, i’m barely breathing, fucking season 
every season
that biddie wasn’t lying when she said i was a demon 
i’ll just pretend that i’m not bleeding 

i ain’t seeing blood stains bleeding through my shirt 
so i’ll keep vibing even though it hurts 
i ain’t seeing blood stains bleeding through my shirt 
so i’ll keep vibing even though it hurts

emotionless thoughts

prod. BROWN DAD (@user-995795810)

part 1:

verse 1:

in the burden of your absence 
i speak your name in past tense
you’re a shadow of my portrait 
i cant afford this distortion 

fortify what i find gorgeous 
seeing souls escape from corpses
i see them interact remorseless 
no one left to go to war with 

now the virus has gone viral
were in a crisis, no survival, lifeless, in a cycle
spending every night alone facing endless screens
they serve as a bridge between me and sacred dreams 

all and my favorite scenes, think what i created means 
i am almost free, i say i am almost free
sunrise in the distance is something i couldn’t see 
four walls that surround me, fading as i lay amongst the trees

verse 2:

i am my truest reflection in the absence of
anyone, even those i trust, that’s the irony of love 
my tongue tastes freedom in the midnight winds 
as the morning rises, is another day i fight again 

my rose has yet to blossom, my cape remains in gotham 
where i belong until i can say "i win," without "i fought him"
my soul is rotten, my deeds forgotten
amongst the carnage i’ve left is where i have fallen

don’t know where i go from here
but i know contemplation and complacency is what i fear 
so everyday i’m keeping pace
before my memory is vanished and erased 

i been in this cave for too long
the allegory is personified in song 
why am i overthinking my self portrait 
vulnerability is killing me, i can’t see through my own distortion

interlude:

i hope
we'll make
it through
the story
tonight

part 2:

verse 1:

in the burden of your absence 
i speak your name in past tense
you’re a shadow of my portrait 
i cant afford this distortion 

fortify what i find gorgeous 
seeing souls escape from corpses
i see them interact remorseless 
no one left to go to war with 

i guess it ain’t occurred to me, in the burden of eternity 
it’s burning me internally 
days the same breathe monotonous oxygen 
scattered thoughts leave my thoughtless conscious gone again

i cant seem to get a grip 
i press playback and i question who is this?
my bones feeling dense and weak, drifting the week
consumed by grief, don’t know nothing, who is me?

verse 2:

the tears scarring my face as i dig through ashes 
nothing left to scavenge, what happens after forever passes?
i recite my passage, they all seem so passive 
everyday seem more difficult to escape my mattress

what’s the point? i guess that i don’t have a choice 
i push them away, there’s loneliness i can’t avoid 
cuz i must sustain what the prophets prophesied 
engulfed in corporate corpses, the purging left me traumatized 

can’t tell if you’re changing or if
this is how you was before we met, and if it is 
when can i admit, i don’t bear the strength to forgive 
maybe at the point when i don’t bear the strength to live

nothing left to say
a soul you cannot save 
won’t recognize my face 
5 years
5 years
my tears

burden of your absence

prod. me :)

can’t escape the atmosphere that’s surrounding my breath 
oxygen enters and i can’t seem to take a step 
i’ve been mourning every morning since the dawn that you left

like the unsent letter that’s found in the pocket of a dead soldier 
i’m forever unwritten, and i’m step closer 
to a life within the shadows, i find comforting ￼
if no one heard my cries, am i truly suffering

my thoughts are scattered, tidal waves contain no pattern
if i have feet of clay i can’t ever touch the rings of saturn 
i create a hopeless opus in attempts to not lose focus 
so i’m hoping, for solar floating, my soulless soul is open 

shoulders folding, stomachs caving, the way that i’m behaving 
is truly monstrous and concerning, burning, what’s uncertain 
my body’s planted to the dirt while my soul’s in orbit
we’re consumed in one solar vortex so i cant forfeit 

my soul cant offer more
there’s nothing left to ration, bleeding passion in this war
a war i chose to fought, the hero knows the plot 
he knows that he meets his death, he stands tall though he’s froze in thought 

the thought of the life that stood before this moment 
he pleads and states his goodbye, even though they do not know it 
they’ll praise his bravery, label him heroic 
though he felt the same torture, they felt but never showed it

halt my thought before my faults conquer my plots
manifest the ending that only critics will applaud 
cuz in the end the hero always lives life so distraught 
in the ones that win awards, so unfortunately i’m taught 

to allow despair and desperation to reap my actions 
life is but torture and inspiration, all else is distractions
you and i were meant to die, i guess it’s sad to see 
either way, the story ends in tragedy

the hero

u would've loved it

All sounds used i this song belong to me, I personally recorded each and every sound, including my own voice.

© 2019 Sqorb Records

icy well

soundcloud / youtube exclusive 

prod. Hevi (@hevibeats)

check his spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4vv1FFVqxnHyQFLmWxjizb?si=vvGYkwPkTOOP8PnzEo5Rww

hook 1:

all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive 

verse 1:

theres a bridge deep in the woods
a ghost guards where it stood
you say to me just sleep, i know i should
but maybe we should go, there’s blood beneath my foot

we met amongst this bridge, back when we were kids
we’ve grown way too much trapped in this house that we live 
i know you know this, hope you notice, what i want to resurrect 
we fantasized as kids, but there’s more we could perfect 

we’ve left behind a planet, that’s a product of our age
we fell in love and rose above the magic, we no longer play
that’s what we say, but we really let go of happiness 
and now we look around what we thought was freedom but we trapped in this 

you ask why my why i sing this song
i cant tell you what is wrong
you say, well i’ll tell just what’s wrong
you don’t gotta prove you’re strong, by always holding on 

just let go

hook 1:

all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive 

verse 2:

but how could you forget, the world beyond the bridge 
the colors, the creatures, the reflections on our skin
the flowers that had bloomed our love? 
the river that consumed our blood

and healed our wounds, next to the fairy’s tomb
where the cherry’s bloom, under the scary moon, we were free very soon
you say we don’t belong, we must prove we’re strong
not by holding on

by letting go, pretend to grow, desperately i ask
why must we end it so, they lent a soul, on that narrow path
that led us home, and now they’re all alone 
so beautiful, so kind, their spirits must be etched in stone

so our children will protect them, in the same way they did us 
please join me, as i step across the bridge
i’ll leave this house for now, i hope you understand
you nod your head, stand up, and grab my hand 

let’s go


hook 1:

all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive

all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
all that i can say, i pray it’s not today 
it’s not the last day, i’ll ever see your face 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive 
stay alive, stay alive, you and i, we will survive

stay alive

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Dodging questions like a matador
Every time I fell there was no padded floor
Fuck the school grades this music matters more
Living with my cousins I ain’t had a door
Created my own the locks were padded
Sorta sad that I dun sat ashore
While everybody prosper around me 
They acting so reckless
Chains been holding me down 
And I got no necklace
They outgoing
I don’t even go out
Tryna be an idol
Yet I’m too shy to row out
This stings harder than a yellow jacket
Feelings boxed in like I bubble wrapped it
Life’s a war and I been thinking about another tactic
Either way I’m always caught up in some action
Slits on my palm from the pacts I made 
Back in the day
When this rapping was passionate, getting past my days
Wasn’t taxing
Write a verse or else I’ll go insane, batshit
Now a verse be driving me insane, been slacking
Use to say I’m pragmatic but I never have been
ill fortune’s automatic i just let it happen
And my passions live nomadically 
Remember back then
When I felt like people liked me or at least myself did
Nowadays my psyche really need protection 
When I look at my reflection I just miss affection
Pray this music is a blessing not a misdirection
Not a misdirection

PRAY

prod. nobody

lyrics:
I ain’t joking when I say I’ve had some dark nights 
Deep discussions til they turning on the park lights
I’ve thrown my hopes right out the window like a bar fight
Uh
It’s hard to sleep with these scarred eyes
And these cursed ears
I pray we’ve gotten through the worst years
How your family the root of all your worst fears?
I cleanse myself of all the feeling when I serve tears
Just a numb body tryna be a somebody
Hard to smell the roses when the nose runs snotty
I’ll prolly end up at a desk with countless regrets
Maybe look upon this past as a fun hobby
With a chuckle like the people lookin down on me
Shit’s fishy man my life on the line
Been debating my demons
They tryna tackle my pride 
Got an angel on the other side 
Racking my mind
I ain’t tryna do backflips to bag in the dimes
Tryna strive unsigned
Can’t even live independent 
Yeah I’m tryna take it home
Really gettin the pennant
Life only getting harder didn’t think that they meant it
Poof! there goes all my hope
Need to tell it and penn it
Stay glancing out my window like a damsel in distress
Mind wandering
Ain’t no telling where it’s headed next
And I fear I’m headed nowhere
Bandolier across my chest
Just to fight off all my fears
More weary with every step

NIGHTS

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Hitting the sack
This ceiling gives feelings I wish I ain’t had
Tryna get bags
Found em right under my lashes
Lashing out cuz of my past
I need a rest
Pops used to hold me to chest
Now he hold me to the standards he set
Now I gotta keep these stanzas in check
Discomfort in fam so I ran to my set
And I’m never gon deal with it uh
No matter the case
I keep it brief and I shield from it 
So many years and I’m still running
Still running
For temporary bliss
It’s been cold since birth I’m a January kid
Snow fall into my fist
Reminiscent of my dreams melting at my fingertips 
Tryna catch z’s but I keep wildin
Like the mattress is a ceiling for the beasts hiding
Saw the past in a dream
And that shit’s violent
I’m expressing all my feelings when I speak silence
Blood runs thick I might drown in it
All my water turned to wine and they downing it
Nowhere left to go
I’m surrounded
Tryna drown it out leave me frowning
Frowning

FROWNIN'

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Yeah, yeah
Internal discourse
We ain’t piss poor but we living in misfortune
Pops said the flame died
Nobody passing torches
Now we go to war, so we rally up the horses
Tally up the corpses
I could never stomach pain, so I’m always nauseous 
I was feeling numb to pain, heading out the hospice
You could tell I grew up on the West, I’m always heartless
Music kept me going, I could feel it in my cartilage 
Still my pops prolly wish I had the dirt on my cleats
Those dreams are obsolete
Nowadays we run in games but we not in a league
Chopping samples, it’s the only thing that keep me beating
Nobody saving me
So many visions I dun had to hold some funerals
Too many to count on all my cuticles
My futility is truly nothing short of beautiful
Pitiful per usual
Pit full of 
Buried memories
Obscenities 
Thank allah I never turned to toxic remedies or caught up with the law
The world told me that this ain’t where I belong 
We tipped the scales, nobody seeing what I saw
Nobody seeing what I saw

BURIED

prod. nobody

lyrics:
I fought all my own battles huh
Remember when the snakes had me rattled
Had to toughen up
And I’m still toughening
This rapping shit used to be a puppy love
Now it’s my whole passion
They could give a fuck
They saw the mic and picked it up
I saw the mic and let it sit
Never thought I’m good enough
I still ain’t met my requisites 
I say it’s ambition but my folks say that it’s recklessness 
Honestly I’m restless
Exclamation for the emphasis
Thinking maybe I ain’t meant for this
Too many tears I’ve cried
Hurt that still ain’t mended yet
I wrote this verse
The paper wet just as I’m penning it
There’s even more beneath the surface
With the sediment
And with this sentiment
I hope to strive
Overcome these foreboding times
Lord knows I’ve tried
This my confession
Now I’ve spoke the crimes
No lies
This shit is bonafide 
No lies 
This shit is bonafide

BONAFIDE

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Bad blood
I be looking down to see the souls
Get angrier as I get old
And more knowledge make me cold
Been made aware to what been here along
I been so alone
Beneath the surface is so low
Beneath the burdens there’s a kid
Nobody see unless you show em
Surprised my momma’s pride isn’t mummified
I know that mine is
She don’t even know my grind
Please forgive me for my shyness
I know sometimes I might be mindless
You take all the weight with kindness
Don’t repay you much
Uh
Never saying much
Uh
They wanted change I never gave a buck
Same roof separate lives 
Same booth different lies
Same dude many passions
Didn’t suit me, cut the ties
Blood run thinner by the day
See my brother don’t know what to say
Granny didn’t recognize my face
Looked into the mirror, felt the same
Like a sniper, loving long distance 
Too much time alone is lonely living
Wish to bear the barest fruits
Straws the only thing I’m picking
Hide when I am needed most
If I can’t see it, it can’t be imposed
Eyes closed
I ain’t seen the ropes
All the nicest people mean the most
They try to hold me in their cove
I wanna flee the coast
I tend to flee the coast
I tend to flee the coast

BLOOD

prod. nobody shoutout @jordanisdead

lyrics:
verse 1 (allblue):

Trying so hard to be happy
Making up what my memories lack
Remember crying in the back seat
Counting the blessings we had
Counting
Uh
Counting the blessings we had
I used to think I won’t last
Tryna be better at last
Alas
Not sure it’s possible 
Man
Didn’t shed a tear when my granny never came out of that hospital
Jotting my cons til it’s comical
Desensitized and I tell not a soul
Uh
No cap but it’s bottled though
Tryna learn that I am not alone
At this point I don’t know

verse 2 (Jordanisdead):

so alone, so alone that it’s ripping to my bone 
so hypnotized that they disregard my tone 
looking at the world we’re shown, how can we not feel alone?

silent travels, evolve to these violent battles
serving serpents, disguised with these vibrant rattles 
refugees escape the fleet, amongst the infantry’s defeat, im just a sailor lost at sea

swear to god i recognizing my reflection 
please dear god, you gave me a chance, i’m begging for a second 
i know that i been living reckless 
i left it as a ghost when I walked up out of that wreckage 

now me and my uncle are adjacent i guess 
and i’m pacing with no rest, and i’m anxious for death 
armageddon, please don’t save me with the rest 
uncle lee, i’m getting closer as i chase your every step 
like 

verse 3 (allblue):

So much self doubt it could go around
Insecurities that I don’t even know about
They say embrace your impurities 
They’ll take ya down
So desensitized from never having made a sound
We cower still
I’ll be shocked if I get to know how power feel
Uh
So I count blessings
Account for every bit of hope before my evanescence 
It’s a depressing presence
I’m 16 really worried bout death
Wanna make history
I mean, when 12 done
Nobody’ll be left to miss me
Dark hoodie just to match my psyche
Still catch me bawling in my bed
And balling up so tightly
Show no emotion
I was socially distancing way before the COVID 
Push myself to being lonely I’m just that devoted
Really nothin’s as it seem I just sugar coat it
I just sugar coat it

BLESSINGS (feat. jordanisdead)

prod. nobody

lyrics:
All my days so azul 
My own mind been tryna play me for a fool
Been lost 
We ain’t won in a minute uh
Got lots of work to do
When things fall apart you best pick up the tools
And get to work with it
Desperately reconstructing til it hurt again
Can’t grasp reality
When I’m gone the birds still gonna chirp man
Only way to live is through another person
I still distance
A crippling hypocrite who begs no assistance 
All I see is closed blinds but I swear I got the vision
Can’t grow out of the sadness nor in rap with this division
I keep swearing it will change
Fall in their places, rearrange
Yeah these notions so deranged 
Pain is such a bitter tang
I spit it on the mic and still my mindset is the same
Yeah this rapping is my truth huh
Thought it’s supposed to set you free huh
Guess I’m lying in the booth man
When the lion shows it’s teeth
This where you find what’s left of me

AZUL

prod. nobody

lyrics:
Making amends
Shaking some hands
Fall in a pit 
Do it again
Do it again
Losing my shit
Losing my friends
Throwing a fit
Using my pen 
Inking the tip 
Watching it float
Sinking the ship
Sinking the ship

The wisest words are most quietly spoke
We crashed and burned I signaled with the smoke
They kicked my SOS’s off the coast
Now we in different boats
And though it’s shitty, this the one I chose
They swear they know me, struggle never been the same
Dodging COVID, homies on a different strain
Uh
Maybe no one understands my pain
I don’t know myself, I may just be insane
I be talking to my momma hazardly
Learning everything ain’t how it has to be
Or how it should at least
Tripping over people that I couldn’t please
Tripping over me
Uh
Young man, plate full but he starving
Try to stay cool
Try to be an artist
Dreams fetched far it’s alarming
If I made it, doubt I’d face the stardom

Making amends
Shaking some hands
Fall in a pit 
Do it again
Do it again
Losing my shit
Losing my friends
Throwing a fit
Using my pen 
Inking the tip 
Watching it float
Sinking the ship
Sinking the ship

AMENDS

gone memory

letting go II

art collective from all over the u.s.

members include:

jordanisdead (@jordanisdead)
allblue (@allblueraps)
CYRUS. (@cyrusiszuuded)
JuannyOG (@juannyog)
s q o r b (@sqorb)
Rokaii (@nakhi-lankford)
kaonashi (@kaonashivibes)
nobody (@nobodymakesbeats)
mizu yūrei (@mizuyurei)
gUts (@deejayguts)
faceless (@entitynoidentity)

black sunday [essentials]

BLACK SUNDAY