want to grow

november prayer (kitchen cover)

brother sport (animal collective cover)

in the flowers (animal collective cover)

i could never get my shit together 
in a meaningful way
that worked for me 
shrugging off the mindless formalities
and broken cognition 
that leaks from me 
and no matter how many times over
this shit will bulldoze into you 
you say, what can you do?

i once existed in a binary state 
with granite walls and an iron door
i got so fucked up back then 
now i don’t cry, i just try to get by without death 
i got so fucked up by the things you said 

i peel back my skin to see what’s underneath 
pulling my blade out of its dusty sheath 
i’m ready to hurt, ready for it to work, 
i wanna cut deep this time 
but something makes me stop

magic of adolescence

my friend gave out on a monday
on the side of some old back road
breathing out a sigh of relief
as the old thing finally croaked
stared into his eyes and he stared back
he looked at me as if he’d seen it all
what he said next might’ve been quite outrageous
but that’s the one thing i could not recall

my friend was born into cycles of darkness and light
post-modern time in a contemporary life
don’t think he ever knew where he was going
but in the end he did alright
i never knew of his affliction
of all the ways we made him choke
doesn’t really feel like fiction
but i can’t hold a light to it anymore

well my friend said he wanted it all to stop
he said he could make a deal and call it off
he tried to break the mold he came in
but he remained the same
yeah he never really ever changed

when monday came around again
i looked up but didn’t see him there
something about the way he went felt like truth
when null and void was all he knew

post-modern time in a contemporary life

tonight i will astound
as i fall to the ground
into another world
that will unfurl
before my eyes
when it's time
to start anew
i'm so fucking confused

i stumble down the path
but you don't follow me
hard to believe that you're not angry
will i ever know just what it means
when i can't see 3 feet in front of me

well i haven't figured out
how to live without
i fell through a tunnel
and ended up by your house

magic trick

how to live without

here in spirit

safest in place

(theme song)

grateful

if i could drive

woke up the eyeballs

washer/dryer

cancer moon

damiana

in the spring 
after the thaw
comes a light 
shining through 
and the light 
speaks to you
it says, “you can move on, too”

and i’ve heard this all before 
but never quite this loud in my core 

i’ve learned to forgive myself 
and i am here if you need help
you always did think half as much 
about the sort of stuff that fucked me up 

but did you ever really believe in me 
or did you see what you wanted to see 

cause when you went 
under the stairs 
i was there 
i was there 

when you went 
under the stairs 
i was there 
i was there

caused u pain pt. 2

Black Country, New Road - Happier Than Ever (Billie Eilish)

forgive (alex g cover)

o superman (laurie anderson cover)

rory

applause (with lily may)

circles cover redux bc i wanted to do the song justice <3

circles (mac miller cover redux)

seaforth (king krule cover)

revivals

plumbing

most of the time (bob dylan cover)

we pass another junction
on our way to the function house
my dad didn’t want to give none
oh but yours had twice the income
and he’s still hanging around

you keep on telling me
to put some faith into the things
that we cannot see
but it goes down like it did before
signal out, then we hit the floor
and there’s still seven more

when we stop to take a breath
i start to forget about the rest
of the people just like you and me now
face down in the concrete as they bleed out

no time to commiserate
we’re making one last getaway
under the cover of night
to try to wipe the slate clean
would it just be wishful thinking
or could you call it a crime

and when the smoke finally clears
will you take it all in stride
we circle around the block
where you once lived
past the swing set
where you and me used to get high

and you remember the taste
that sweetly decayed
into another white lie
and you point out the place
where you cut the chain
and swore to my face
that you’d try to survive

so what are we supposed to do
now that i’m in free fall with you
so what are we supposed to do
now that i’m in free fall with you

absolute free fall

i’ll choose my next words carefully
to keep this focused on you
i know you’ve been trying
to bring it into view
and i gotta say, i’ve been squinting too

after all that we denied
rushed back through
after all that was implied
came looking for you
sinking lower to the tide
in crepuscule hues
but i am ready for the ride
yeah yeah yeah

we fuck up
and then we repent
we clean up
so we can make messes again
i’m a bird without a tree
on a highway stretch
you’re passing me

and i reach as far back as i can
in the throes of my mind
if i figure out this high-wire act
i know i’ll be fine
i’ll be alright
yeah i’ll be fine
i’ll be alright

you’re a moss covered shrine
with a thousand blinking eyes
i’m a bird without a tree
when you left, you planted a seed

after all that we denied
rushed back through
after all that was implied
came looking for you
sinking lower to the tide
in crepuscule hues
but i am ready for the ride
yeah yeah yeah

and i reach as far back as i can
in the throes of my mind
if i figure out this high-wire act
i know i’ll be fine

brass tax

perpetual state of disbelief

o dreaded c town (frankie cosmos cover)

wherever you go (beach house cover)

what should i do next

boys latin (panda bear cover)

dying out east (fog lake cover)

from the upcoming EP "so basically im goopy" out january 1st

saturday

nonbinary experimental artist/musician from boston, currently a student at bennington college studying video/sound/art

new album "i'll eat you, i love you" out now

they/them

bark dog

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