Suffering and survival of Blaise

like a rolling stone

mmm what you say

Coffee cigarette

Untitled #63

For Creeplainz

aroha wahine
arohanui
I want to watch taniwha with you, whilst eating kai moana
always kia kaha
but my wairua has been broken
 
I miss the woman who comes from Wairoa
there is a lost girl there
who smells a little too pleasant
she is writing in the dark
 
have babies, have a great life
just take a pillow and hold it over my face
 
you don’t want to know me
I’m trouble
I don’t have an apartment or a telephone
 

 
dark matter
I know you exist
I know you are mine
you are all around me
yet I cannot touch you
dark matter
you are created for my touch
I can wait 22 years
—
kai whiti mai to marama I roto
—
my ancestors are from aotearoa
the land of the long white cloud
I like kai moana in my puku
and I am like taniwha when I am enraged
 

if I say ta ringa
that means you listen
tuti tuti
please shut the fuck up
 
—
my whanau
my familia
my god is the sun
hence the small tattoo on my upper right bicep

when maui went fishing, he cast his line and caught that North island, his anchor was Stewart island
my anchor is nowhere
nothing
nada

my familia is from the city of sails
we are water people
and each time I feel like
my body cannot suffer the waves of pain
I take myself to the ocean to drown
 

I was fourteen
I walked to redcliffe beach and set sail in an abandoned paddle boat
trying to take myself out
it’s so utterly poetic and pathetic
the way I drift into an abyss as tragic and beautiful as the oceans
waves can destroy every ounce of my loneliness

I have many tangone
I love te rarawa
that is not a secret
I have been to many tangi
I have this manu atua
I want to bolster human wairua

kaha kia, I have to prepare for this journey
but I do not know te reo

do not call it temporary
I am not temporary
temporary is days to weeks
I am years
siabo
ka ki te

For my Aroha Wahine

Because unbecoming is easier than becoming

Have a good night

Blue lips, blur veins, blue the colour of our planet from far, far away

soundcloud:tracks:853468522

Blaise Schopenhauer