Nostalgic Hypomania

Morphine

We must not be prisoners of our current circumstances.
The power lies in each one of us to change.
However, that decision is often a lonely journey.

Life

Mentha Piperita

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Ekphrasis - The word comes from the Greek for the description of a work of art produced as a rhetorical exercise. It is a vivid, often dramatic, verbal description of a visual work of art, either real or imagined.

Here we are presented as a mood setter for the whole album. A melody that keeps on increasing: a love for a wrong person that keeps growing willingly without ever retreating, until it hits the subject's consciousness with such impact they can no longer control their emotions - feelings in a detailed ekphrasis.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

ekphrasis

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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ˈləʊnli - Phonetic transcription of the word "lonely".

Lonely (orˈləʊnli ) feelings wrap the subject's mind. A toxic mood is emerging: the subject feels lonely even with other people. They can no longer be present in the moment as their mind is filled with thoughts of being alone with the person who brought about their sadness even though the subject can not understand that yet.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

ˈləʊnli

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Nonplussed -  so surprised and confused that one is unsure how to react.

Litost - A Czech term which can be understood/translated as "a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery".

For a change, we get to see the other side of the story, the perspective of whom the subject's in love with. The reason as to why things had begun to fall apart. Looking at a mirror, one recognizes litost surfacing. All of the feelings they went through and why this was their final decision. A phone call needs to be done.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

litost // nonplussed part I

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Woe - Great sorrow or distress (often used hyperbolically).

Coming back to the main subject's perspective, we get to hear the final words from someone they thought couldn't hurt them more than what they've hurt in the past. Nonplussed, once again. Woe is the only feeling that comes with being in this situation.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

woe feat. Stephanie Kay // nonplussed part II

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Belladonna - With Italian roots, its literal meaning is "beautiful lady", but Belladonna is more than that: it's also the name of a poisonous plant known as the Deadly Nightshade.

Knowing this, we can already see the "belladonna effect" happen: taking in a beautiful lover only to be surprised they have been poisoned and corrupted.
A final goodbye is heard. At first, the subject feels like they are in a dream: as this couldn't ever happen to them. But, as they relive past events in their memories and thus becoming more and more aware of what they got out of, a scream of agony and a mental breakdown take place. The climax of the album has been reached. We have come to the end of the first part of the album.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

belladonna & all that it could be but isn't because im lost

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Abyss - A deep or seemingly bottomless chasm.

As the beginning of the second part of the album, we start to understand what it is like to hit rock bottom after a hurtful separation. The subject has now fallen into the abyss. Not knowing how to get out of it, they try to grab onto anything they see fit to help them.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

abyss

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.


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Doomscrolling - Obsessively reading social media posts about how utterly f*cked we are.

Feelings of emptiness and hopelessness drown the subject as they are now trying to cope with their own existence. "I'll just scroll a bit on social media to unwind" they say, only to find out they feel worse than before that. With this, the subject understands the change needs to come from within.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

doomscrolling (BLI Edit)

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Bubble Wrap - Plastic packaging material in sheets containing numerous small air cushions designed to protect fragile goods.

Everything feels different. Not everything seems far away as it used to be. One views themself as something fragile, something that must be protected from the harsh world out there. An urge to wrap oneself (metaphorically) in bubble wrap as a means of protection so as to find a way to endure the weight of solitude that might break them.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

bubble wrap

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Purple -  A colour that has a variety of effects, one of which is calming the mind and nerves. It is associated with higher self and fulfilment.

One day, the night fell and the sky turned pink and then purple and it continued to get darker until there was nothing but a pitch black evening. A sense of relief finally hits the subject, as if they had let go of a burden they long beared. They feel accomplished. There was nothing restraining them, nothing they longed to do, to feel or to be.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

midnight purple

This album tells a story about being trapped in the idea of fooling oneself to think they are fine, trying to understand why they are not, abruptedly leaving their source of sadness, continuously failing over and over again. 

It is comprised of 2 parts. In the first, the listener will experience what made the subject reach the bottommost point of their life. In the second, how the subject coped and continued on living.

Ouroboros - a circular symbol depicting a snake, or less commonly a dragon, swallowing its tail, as an emblem of wholeness or infinity.

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Masking - a process in which an individual changes or "masks" their natural personality to conform to social pressures.

Adagio - (especially as a direction) in slow time.

As the subject now reflects on what happened during their hurtful time, they wonder what were their lover's intent. There are so many questions left to answer that they will never know the answer for. They feel trapped in a vicious cicle - they can no longer understand why or how it happened, it feeds on the unknown. They don't feel content but they don't show it. They can not get closure so they try to find it in another person. A love for a wrong person begins to emerge as an adagio. We are back at the beginning.

Album Artwork by Catarina Monteiro
www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

adagio // masking part I

Born in Madeira Island 
I like music 

Designed and directed by Miguel Mendes 
https://www.behance.net/2slendy 
( mmslendyzo@gmail.com )

Artwork for Belladonna or the Ouroboric Melody of One's Self done by Catarina Monteiro
https://www.catarinafelixmonteiro.com/

BLI

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