Hate Me

it only hurts when i laugh
so it never really hurts at all
but knowing that my smile will hurt again
is painful in itself

i've tried so hard, i swear i have
to turn it all around
my energy escapes me, my feet will never take me
where i need to go, oh oh oh

Misery, loves me more than you
it holds me by the hand
and won't let me alone

and anger is the whore
i'm cheating on it with
once its got me in its bed
it fucks me ragged

so where did you go
and why are you so rare?
if i focused my life on finding you
you'd think you'd fucking care

and when i have the strength to plead
im cautious to use it on you
cause happiness is fake to me, and faith was never placed in me
so why should i place it in you oh oh oh

Misery, loves me more than you
it holds me by the hand
and won't let me alone

and anger is the whore
i'm cheating on it with
once its got me in its bed
it fucks me ragged

and why do i
feel this way still now?
why should i be this way
oh me, why oh me, oh why me
oh~

Misery, loves me more than you
it holds me by the hand
and won't let me alone

and anger is the whore
i'm cheating on it with
once its got me in its bed
it puts me to sleep



In Loving Misery

it only hurts when i laugh
so it never really hurts at all
but knowing that my smile will hurt again
is painful in itself

i've tried so hard, i swear i have
to turn it all around
my energy escapes me, my feet will never take me
where i need to go, oh oh oh

Misery, loves me more than you
it holds me by the hand
and won't let me alone

and anger is the whore
i'm cheating on it with
once its got me in its bed
it fucks me ragged

so where did you go
and why are you so rare?
if i focused my life on finding you
you'd think you'd fucking care

and when i have the strength to plead
im cautious to use it on you
cause happiness is fake to me, and faith was never placed in me
so why should i place it in you oh oh oh

Misery, loves me more than you
it holds me by the hand
and won't let me alone

and anger is the whore
i'm cheating on it with
once its got me in its bed
it fucks me ragged

and why do i
feel this way still now?
why should i be this way
oh me, why oh me, oh why me
oh~

Misery, loves me more than you
it holds me by the hand
and won't let me alone

and anger is the whore
i'm cheating on it with
once its got me in its bed
it puts me to sleep




In Loving Misery (Acoustic)

I feel the need to say these things I can't come up with words to voice

And honestly, I probably should think a little harder on my choices. 

Cause why should I be where I need to spill anything more than once?

My guts are leaking on the floor, my heart is pumping even more, 
and here I go again I'm burning down.

And its getting even hotter
thats the sound
of my sanity
hitting the floor

But what else can I do?
Who else could I be?
Swallow down your demons now
and bite the heads of those you can. 

And just cause I find piece of mind, 
knowing that I'm gonna die,
doesn't mean I'm gonna try, 
only that it soothes my mind. 

So don't you worry, I'll be fine
Cause its only in my mind. 
They tell me, its okay. 

And in this life of live or die and love and hate and laugh and cry
I find myself

My eyes are rolling back again,
My fingers twitch, my headache spins
and here I go again I'm burning down

And its getting even hotter
thats the sound
of my sanity
hitting the floor

But what else can I do?
Who else could I be?
Swallow down your demons now
and bite the heads of those you can. 

Clean off
Don't let them choke you anymore
sleep through the fire, awake in the ash
rise up again, and learn from the past
let the flames grow wild again

here I go I'm burning down

And its getting even hotter
thats the sound
of my sanity
hitting the floor

But what else can I do?
Who else could I be?
Swallow down your demons now
and bite the heads of those you can.

Phoenix in My Hands

See you through a hole of black
Any memory in the past, looking back
My view of you is red
Knowing I won't see you again

Like a tree grows from the ground
How my mind explains what it feels
Still my leaves reach high and higher

Distancing me from you
Leaving you behind


And for all the things I can't recall
I'm sure some were things that I loved most of all
So a pain felt undeserved
Weighs so heavy underneath the surface

Still I still exist more as more
Time goes by as I grow older
And now so much more often, I think of before

Whats the point of dangling
perfection when you just take it away

Please stay with me 
Just a little longer
I don't know how to live without your 
Presence in my life

And we may never
Ever touch again
So hold on tighter than before
And make the moment last

But I know I have to let go
Yes I know, I have to let go.

Pictures in My Frame of Mind

I'm not at liberty to talk about myself
cause i might've lost my mind, so i'm looking for that first
imagination deprivation fucking psychiatric patient
those should get you started while I try to find the rest

Heres a bit, and theres a chunk, I must've fell apart
If it worked the way I wish, I'd trace it back to the start
of everything when I was just a little kid, I bet Id 
see just when the happiness died along with my heart

I'm sorry if I'm sorry too much
and I'm sorry that I'm like this
isn't what I wanted to be
Can I take it back? 

well I'm so fucking sick and tired of saying 
that i'm so fucking sick and tired all the
time is my enemy, 
Time is the enemy

How cliche, what a fag, he sings about his heart?
Man up pussy, grow a pair, be like the "real guys".
I'm sure that you'd be happy if you if let yourself be happy
why not try to just be happy, and then you won't be so sad?

Look im sure you mean well, but why don't you fuck off?
if you really wanna help me out, then why not stop and talk to me
about existence or abuse or my afflictions or society and systems
and how it all just seems so fucked.

I'm sorry if I'm sorry too much
and I'm sorry that I'm like this
isn't who I wanted to be
Can I take it back? 

And I'm so fucking sick and tired of saying 
that i'm so fucking sick and tired all the
time is my enemy, 
Time is the enemy

It robs me of everything I ever am
and turns me more and more into a man
I don't recognize, in fact I hate
if I'm in control, why can't I change?

I'm sorry if I'm sorry too much
and I'm sorry that I'm like this
isn't who I wanted to be
Can I take it back? 

Oh I'm so fucking sick and tired of saying 
that i'm so fucking sick and tired all the
time is my enemy, 
No, I am the enemy

I'm sorry if I'm sorry too much
and I'm sorry for who I am
will I just be another one?
a casualty of living

Oh I'm so fucking sick and tired of feeling 
so fucking sick and tired of living
time is my enemy, 
I am the enemy

Fuck It

Wick

open your eyes, what do you see?
a bunch of lies you love
the shiny grins televised
the mouths without ears

and when the sun rolls around
and your rolling around too
time to leave, time to hunt
but not for food

and here we are, everyday
until we leave the soil
finds us all in the end

im so confused, why aren't you?
cause it doesn't make any sense
but theres the bell, theres the cue
put those thoughts away, and lets begin

I don't want to wake up
I don't want to wake up they say
I don't want to wake up
I don't want to wake up again

I guess they've seen it all before
Didn't like it, so they laid back down 
and pulled their covers, closed their lids
its time for bed and time for sleep
tomorrow we'll do it all again

I don't want to wake up
I don't want to wake up they say
I don't want to wake up
I don't want to wake up again

Safe in Sleep

hit the air
and it'll hit you back
it'll be the first of many things to strike you

take a breath
and take one after that
you'll breathe until you stop, from here on out

and I know you didn't ask for this
but no one ever does
Its the first decision made for you
and it won't be the last

all these things are new to you
a world full of firsts
that innocence is beautiful 
but sadly it'll pass

but don't worry now, baby
don't worry now
first lets have some fun
I'll show you everything
everything I know, like

How to ride a bike and
I'll teach you how to sing
we'll have some pillow fights
and we'll listen to the rain coming down, 

even if you don't have my eyes, 

I'll teach you to see like me

don't give up,
we're not all what we think
the world seems to shrink while you grow

and don't give in
I know it can be hard
but you can always wake up from that nightmare

and if the worlds hitting you
and I can't be your shield
I'll teach you how to punch it
and I'll teach you how to be unyielding
to all of those that only say stop
cause they don't know how to go

but don't worry now, baby
don't worry now
first lets have some fun
I'll show you everything
everything I know like

no matter how long you subscribe to life
its only a trial offer
tomorrow isn't promised
and today is almost gone

Our worth in this world is based by how you treat one another,
and your happiness is more important than anything else.

promise me you won't forget these words my darling girl

and maybe one day, you'll have your own

they'll see like you, so maybe like me too

and you could show them

How to ride a bike and
Teach em how to sing
have some pillow fights
and listen to the rain coming down, 

even if you don't have my eyes, 

I'll teach you to see like me

Isabella

I wanted to tell you, I wanted to share,
Some important details that you're unaware of
I want you to listen, I want you to care,
I'll choke to death if I don't clear the air
It's not a secret that I obsess,
And then I get angry, and then I get stressed
And you can't imagine and you can't compare,
You have no frame of reference and then you get scared
I'm doing my best to help make you see,
That it's not your fault, when I'll beg and I'll plead
It's much easier just to go back to sleep,
But we gotta find a place to start because I'm falling apart

I never feel happy, I never feel safe,
I can't let myself ever stay in one place
I look in the mirror and I see the face
Of a failure who will never be significant
The face that you see from the morning to night
Is the mask that I put on to hide what's inside
I don't take it off until you fall asleep,
I don't want you to see what live inside of me
I thought I'd get older and it'd go away,
But it only gets worse and causes more pain
And being alone is getting so hard,
I just got to tell you

God damnit, I'm falling apart
I'm down on my knees in the dark
Feeling for whatever is left
But the pieces are falling too far

God damnit, I'm falling apart
I'm down on my knees in the dark (I'm falling apart)
Feeling for whatever is left (I'm falling apart)
But the pieces are falling too far

Don't leave yet, I haven't got to the part that explains at all
Don't leave yet, I need somebody there to catch me before I fall
To catch me before I fall
God damnit, I'm falling apart

I wanted to tell you, I wanted to share,
Some important details that you're unaware
I want you to listen, I want you to care,
I'll choke to death if I don't clear the air right now

Clear the Air - [Off With Their Heads Cover]

I'm a solo-artist based out of San Antonio, TX.  I center around guitar, and post what I like, however I attribute my sound to most resemble the Smashing Pumpkins/Billy Corgan, with heavier sounding influences coming from ADTR, Avenged Sevenfold, BFMV, etc. - I'm up and coming, with music mostly still just a hobby which I'm passionate about.

Blithe