Resignation letter to HR.
Dedicated to all those who have fallen foul to Psycho Micro Managers everywhere!!

Original by Nicola Bloom & Neil Barnett (21.04.2014)

Psycho Micro Manager 
Verse 1
(G)I'm a broken man, 
I'm not sleeping (C7) well
I can't think (G) straight
My Mouth is (D) dry

Always on my back(G)/G7
No let up (C) STOP
Wear me (G) down
It’s (D)Never good enough(G)(G7)

Middle eight
And what she (C) does, she does so well x2 (C/G)
She's my (D) psycho micro (C) manager 
    (D) psycho micro (C) manager 
  	    (D) psycho micro (C) manager from hell (G/D7)

Verse 2
You ignore my opinion (G)
and progress your plans (C7)  
Discussions are a (G) one way street 
You're your (D)own number one fan 

Corporate mo (G) nkey (G7)
I wont com (C) pete 
You’ve pushed me (G) way too far
(D) I'm voting with my (G) feet (G7)

Middle eight
And what she (C) does, she does so well x2 (C/G)
She's my (D) psycho micro (C) manager from hell (G/G7)

(C)Always interrupting, always talking over me
always delegating(G), always wanting more for free (G7)
(D)Useless tasks fill up my (C) day, 
(D) Got my own list of things to do I say (C) 
(D) Psycho Micro (C) manager, I gotta get away! (G) (E7)

Oh (C) Psycho Micro /(D7) manager 
Oh (C) Psycho Micro /(D7) manager 
Oh (C) Psycho Micro /(D7) manager 

I gotta get (G) awa (G7)aaa (C) a (Eb) ayyyyy  x 3 [getting slower and quieter]
[pause for dramatc effect] I gotta get away (G)






Psycho Micro Manager

Hey-I set out to write the happiest song in the world - and here it is!  I can imagine Kermit and Chappell Roan singing this together with the cast of the muppets providing the backing vocals. Wherever you are in the world - spread a little happy everywhere ❤️

Happy

Hey-I set out to write the happiest song in the world for the muppets to sing! Wherever you are in the world - spread a little happiness  everywhere ❤️

Original song, written when I spent a week at Arvon Songwriting course. I played it to one of the tutors, Boo Hewerdine, and we recorded it together straight into the internal mic on my macbook - my on my uke, he played guitar - it was a real highlight for me! When I play this song in public, people always sing along with the chorus.

Nicola BLOOM's Album

Elephant in the Room (Live - BLOOM © 2010)

Love Dumb & Silly by Bloom & Layzell ‘Lazy Elk’  Copyright 21.06.2018 

This is a cheesy duet about opposites falling in love

Love Dumb & Silly:
 
V1: That night, love at first sight
You stopped me dead in my tracks thats right
I was smitten like a kitten that night.

V2: That night, oh what a night
you never left me alone for a minute
You wore me down being the clown that night

Bridge:
But somehow we work
We dont know why
Youre not my type
But you caught my eye

Chorus:
Like peaches and cream, you know what i mean, 
Cheese and picalily were love dumb & silly its true 
Im love dumb and silly for you

V3: Years fly, I straighten your tie
Kiss on your cheek as i wave you goodbye
Butterflies to my surprise how years fly by

V4: Years fly, Im the star in your sky
I leave you behind with a tear in your eye
I grew  on you, admit its true, years fly by

Bridge: 
But somehow we work
We don't know why
Youre not my type
you’re my girl 
you’re my guy

Double Chorus:
Like peaches and cream, you know what i mean, 
Cheese and picalily were love dumb & silly its true 
Im love dumb and silly for you

Like peaches and cream, you know what i mean, 
Cheese and picalily were love dumb & silly its true 
Im love dumb and silly for you
Im love dumb and silly for you
Im love dumb and silly for you

Chords:
Verse G/ D/C/G   G/D/G/C/G
Bridge Em/ B7/ Em/ D
Chorus  G/D/Em/ C7/ Em/ C HOLD G

Illustration by Charles Monroe Schulz.

Lazy Elk Volume 1

Love Dumb and Silly

This song was inspired by having completed the Jason Vale - 7lbs in 7day 2013 Juice Master Diet.  It's dedicated to everybody who completed this years juice detox and to those who want to make a change in their lives - what ever that may be! 

'I Got it Made'  : Lyrics by Nicola Bloom/ Music by Nicola Bloom & Neil Barnett (c) 2013

I GOT IT MADE (Super Juice Song)

Beggars Belief  (2 mins 30 seconds)
This is an uptempo country song about having the strength to live through a rotten dog gone relationship. 

Music by Nicola Bloom Lyrics by Nicola Bloom & David Logan (2020) © 

Lyrics: 
It beggars belief that you’re back in town
and you got the nerve to come around
asking for your old guitar, 
well it lost its shine like the Downtown bar,
where we first met it was smoky all right, 
we drank from the bottle and drove all night
and if i knew then what i know now
i would have cut those strings
Somehow

It beggars belief, that you dont remember
the promise you made to stay true and treasure
everything we had you sold for weed, dealing on 
the doorstep made my heart bleed,
red is the colour of love and danger
before my eyes you turned into a stranger
and if i knew then what i know now
i would have cut those strings
Somehow Somehow

It Beggars belief, what you put me through
To hell and back left me black and blue
i watched you leave in your girlfriends car
So I smashed out a tune on your old guitar 
crack went the neck when it broke it two
the bridge fell apart and I did too
and if i knew then what i know now
i would have cut those strings 
Somehow

It beggars belief I should have known better 
Should have changed my number, should have burned those letters
Written by a man with no regrets
Get off my porch with your empty threats
Fuck you and your guitar 
You never could play it and I threw it on the fire 🔥 . 
And if I knew I then what I know now
I would have Cut those strings x 3
Somehow, Somehow, Somehow.


If you would like to publish, record or cover this song please seek permission from Nicola Bloom 
nicolabloom@hotmail.co.uk

Beggars Belief

This country song is about choosing adventure over love.

Written and performed by N  Bloom  (c) 26 Aug 2010

Lyrics
V1		Gonna pack my bags, Gonna see the world
		I’ll leave behind,  A broken hearted girl
		Please understand, That I cant stay
		My heart belongs,  To no one but me


Bridge	There was a time, When I thought id settle down
		But the call of wild,  My sweet honey child
		Was too strong 

Solo instrumental 

Bridge

Verse 2	Gonna pack my bags, Gonna Leave tonight
		I got my ticket, Don’t want a fight
		Please understand, That I cant stay 
		My heart belongs, To no one but me
		
the end	My heart belongs, To no one but me
		My heart belongs, To no one but me





My heart belongs to no one but me

I don’t know about you but i’m gonna drink wine: Simon and I have been writing songs for a few years now, we call ourselves Lazy Elk. Simon played the killer hook chorus to me one evening and we wrote the song around it with our love of festivals at the forefront of our minds.   I recorded this version with a certain stadium band in mind - just in case Oasis ever reform - not that Liam would ever sing about drinking wine, although Noel might? (Layzell & Bloom © 2019)

I don't know about you but I'm gonna drink wine

I wrote 'Hundreds and thousands' for a children’s theatre production ‘Goldilocks’. In the bonus tracks you’ll hear the first time i recorded it for the other writers. I keep these song drafts because I like to hear how the songs develop over time. As the performance date got nearer the plight of refugee children was very much on my mind, so I changed the lyrics yet again because I felt Goldilocks was also looking for somewhere to belong. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. My vision for the song? In my wildest dreams I’d have an amazing singer like Idina Menzel (Frozen) or Keala Settle (Greatest Showman) on lead vocals (I’ll never in a hundred thousand years be able to hit those high notes) supported by a large children’s choir. Hundreds and Thousands belongs in a Disney film - maybe it will one day...(Bloom © 2016)

Hundreds And Thousands

Co-write with Simon Layzell.

I don’t know about you but i’m gonna drink wine: Simon and I have been writing songs for a few years now, we call ourselves Lazy Elk. Simon played the killer-hook chorus to me one evening and we wrote the song around it with our love of festivals at the forefront of our minds.  

I recorded this version with a certain stadium band in mind - just in case Oasis ever reform - not that Liam would ever sing about drinking wine, although Noel might? (Layzell & Bloom © 2019)

Hi. My name is Nicola and I am a songwriter based on the south east coast.
I write pop, country and folk songs. 

The dream? To write songs for other artists to perform and record. 

Absolute dream job.. to write songs for Sesame Street.

Musical influences, Prince,  The Beatles, Barry Manilow, Joni Mitchell, K D lang, Barenaked Ladies, Suzanne Vega, Simon & Garfunkel, Beyoncé, Shirley Brown,  Sia

bloomie : songwriter

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