SPAM AAAAAAAAAAAA

when i fall asleep to dream 
i hear their voices

dream

They Call It Christmas I Call It Grief

you told me it was written in the stars,
i cant read them because of the light pollution,

god has sloppy handwriting

god's sloppy handwriting

i wanna tell you how i feel but im afraid itll hurt you

It hurts when i yell
From the nails in my mouth
Ill scream n ill shout

The urge to yell with these bolts
Poking the roof every time words come out
Knowing these bolts werent installed to help
I found speaking out causes blood to come out
So much ive decided to not speak up, bout how i feel

Its getting hard to speak, followed with silence is blood in my teeth
Ive attempted to scream, havin blood stain every inch of my jeans
Ill just rinse and repeat, sealing my lips so my mouth wouldnt leak
Im content with my dream, of wishing one day all my pain will be seen

Diggin in my mouth
Makin me bleed more

It hurts when i yell
From the nails in my mouth
Ill scream n ill shout
But nothing comes except the blood from my mouth

^x-x^

im fine w!th it

you make leaving so damn difficult

Your eyes look so damn desperate
Hold tight baby im your leverage
I wanna fuck you good
Treat you like a good girl and fuck you like a bad one

My pheramones they drive you crazy
Your terrible at thinkin straightly
Desireable you are my craving
I want you bad baby im aching

Youre so pretty
Youre so gorgeous
Youre the prettiest thing
I love you flower

I think i like the way that you feel
My fingertips runnin up and down your hips
As im dripping out your lips
I love to make you my little bitch
Youre good girl

We're outa breath we're quickly gettin undressed
You talk to me with ppl, you tell me about your friends
I know you love the feeling of me dripping down your leg
Im kissin on your body leavin hickeys down your neck

Your eyes look so damn desperate
Hold tight baby im your leverage
I wanna fuck you good
Treat you like a good girl and fuck you like a bad one

Ya know
I love your face
The things it does to me, baby i cant explain
I love the way you feel
Youre body feels so real
My fingers drunk from your skin
So let me kiss your lips

Your eyes look so damn desperate
Hold tight baby im your leverage
I wanna fuck you good
Treat you like a good girl and fuck you like a bad one

^x-x^

aftercare

im really a piece of shi

I ruined somethin good
I through it away for good
I ruined somethin good
I through it away for good

You gave me your whole self, and i still through it out
We built a perfect thing i had to burn it down
You had the perfect taste yet i still spat it out
I had the whole damn world yet i still went to mars

I ruined
Somethin good again
Im provin
Provin you right in all the worst ways

We had a good thing yet i still ruined it
I took a good girl and made her hate herself
Im such a piece of shit, im such a selfish fuck
How could i let myself fall victim to selflish lust

Lemme prove it baby, lemme make you proud
Lemme change my actions, lemme take you out
I promise ill love you
Ill prove it just give it time baby

uhhhhhh
FUCK
We had a good thing yet i still ruined it
I took a good girl and made her hate herself
Im such a piece of shit, im such a selfish fuck
How could i let myself fall victim to selflish lust

^x-x^

i ruined another good thing

welp im a piece of shi

i dont know what love is but i dont think its this

Do i really love you
When i don't even know what love is
How am i suppose to love you
I don't even know what love is
Do i really love you
When i don't even know what love is
Fabricated by the shi i did
Late night sex got me feelin like this

Im tryna win in my own game okay now
Fallin in love to quick i don't feel like thats okay
I really need to work on my self
Breakin hearts of ppl that just wanna feel held

I found that i am the issue
Initiating these kisses
Just to act mad an dismiss it
Makin you mad i don't listen

I cant be upset
I dug this hole for myself
Im to afraid to yell
And make you cry my dear

Do i really love you
When i don't even know what love is
How am i suppose to love you
I don't even know what love is
Do i really love you
When i don't even know what love is
Fabricated by the shi i did
Late night sex got me feelin like this

^x-x^

idefk

i made my bed now let me rot in it please

Tree lose their green after spring
Plants wilt away and leave there seed
Animals burrow up and sleep
Yet im here struggling to make it through the week

Romantisizing death
The reapers seems so tender sweet
Taking in the weak for eternal peace
Tearing  them away from their heavy baggage
Including the ulgy flesh and meat
Leaving the catacombs we call bones

Better off
By myself
I need space

Im countin on
My selfish doubts
To choreograph
The perfect out

You see me fallin, beneath your feet
Ya see me crawlin, away from here
I see the alter, followin me
I tried to argue but it would never help

I need this time to myself
I need time to myself
Im countin on
My selfish doubts
Yo choreograph
The perfect out

Made my bed
Cleared my head
Closed my eyes
Let me rest
Fuck the help
Fuck my friends
Fuck my life
Let me end

I think... i think.... i think
I think i need this time to myself
I need time to myself
Im countin on
My selfish doubts
To choreograph
The perfect out

^x-x^

They Call It Christmas I Call It Grief

Blue

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