there's probably no one who will listen to this... but i thought it would be a fun little interesting thing to upload. this is the original piano recording on my phone of when i wrote the main melody for "what i feared you'd become." it's just me at the piano playing the chords in the left hand and going insane doing whatever with my right hand. i know it's quite rough, but i hope this could provide some insight to how my little songs are born. just messing around on piano is one of my favourite ways to write melodies and for this song in particular, i feel like the free, flowing, structureless nature of the original piano recording is something i wanted to reflect in the final. not sure if anyone finds this interesting, but if you're here and you've made it this far, thank you so much !!! please feel very free to share or repost. i hope you like it :)

what i feared you'd become (original piano recording)

a rough demo of a song I wrote recently featuring my trying-not-to-be-heard-down-the-hall voice and my unplugged electric guitar. (sorry, you might need to turn the volume up. this was just recorded on my phone). it's about feeling like you're not enough for your parents and never will be; feeling like I'm a burden to them and it would be better off if they disowned me because I know they don't want me around. of course I can't say that this is actually how they feel and even I don't feel like this all the time, but it's definitely a struggle I've been dealing with. especially being queer and wanting a career in the arts, I often feel like I'm not enough or they don't accept and support me (which again, I need to emphasise, I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS TRUE, THIS IS JUST HOW I FEEL SOMETIMES AND I KNOW THAT MY FEELINGS ARE SILLY, BUT IT'S STILL HOW I FEEL). I hope this song can help anyone with similar struggles. I want to encourage you that your family loves you and in the odd case they truly don't, family doesn't always have to be the people who share the same house and blood as you.
shares and reposts always appreciated. Thanks so much, have a nice day :)

lyrics:
I just scared you isn't that right
I won't believe that lie this time
You don't care if I want this life
Didn't even say goodnight

Don't look back twice
Not with those eyes
Walk back with a knife
Pretend it's something kind

I guess that I just wanted more
You won't see what this is for
Now I've got a compromise 
You don't want me just say it's fine
By the shade of candlelight 
I'll fly up off into the night
Leave the house to ring perfect chimes
I don't belong here I know it's fine

You don't want me that's fine
Just stop keeping up this lie
The veil has been down for quite a while
Cut the rope and I'll swallow the bile

you don't have to lie anymore - demo

this was the last of many songs i wrote about a friend who moved interstate. at first it was titled "progression" because i wrote the chord progression and saved it on my phone with that title, but then i wrote the lyrics and was like, oh that title actually works for this song. when i think about it, it's really just my dramatic way of saying how she wouldn't reply to my messages, hehe. but also about me learning to let go.
shares and reposts are very much appreciated! thank you for listening, have a wonderful day :))

lyrics:
Entering a new world
One I thought I'd never find
A place full of opportunity
I only had one in mind
A world that has no place for me
I try to live inside this new world
I do it all for you

But my effort is worthless
When you won't even try
You just took the plane as I couldn't say goodbye
It seems you never looked behind

Maybe you were destined for this life
Taking the train befriending flowers
A world that feels so distant to me
Maybe you were destined to lie

My persistence is worthless
‘Cause I've already tried
Just take a plane here so I can say goodbye
And you can break me from the ties

I finally got my wish
Just as I was getting used to it
When I saw you again it was different
As I realised now I feel that
Your world no longer appeals to me
Then you told me I could send a thousand chimes

But your promise is worthless
‘Cause I won't even try this time
Just take your plane ‘cause I'm ready to say goodbye
I'm ready to do it right
Ready for it to be the final time
I won't keep you from your life
And you'll be free from mine
This time I won't even look behind

progression

hello! I hope you're having a nice day. this is a very rough demo of a song I wrote a while ago. it's about feeling stuck and lost and like you're slowly plummeting to your demise; like you're gradually becoming a worse and worse version of yourself and it's too late to save you. (when I write it out like this I just noticed how sad that sounds, haha, sorry) I guess the positive part of this is that we have music to share these feelings and sort them out :)
sorry, it might to be really quiet and low quality became I just recorded it on my phone, but I hope it's alright. hope you enjoy, thanks so much for listening! shares and reposts always appreciated :)

lyrics:
My heart is in a lost place
Think that I need a new headspace
I should go back to how it was
I'm a changing individual
Only it's not beneficial
Been someone else for far too long

Count the votes and it's a tie
Missing ballot's always mine
To tell the truth, I can't decide
Face the winds to no avail
I'm a train car off the rails
Far too young to go to jail
Withered flower
New gunpowder
I'm not the same
Withered flower
New gunpowder
They're both the same

My mind is where the parliament all congregate for fun
The goddess known as Nemesis won't stop until she's done
It's a warzone up there
Know that phrase is so cliche
But if there's one truth in here
Would be that in my current state
I can't think of better
Cliche or not
That line is gonna stay

Count the votes and it's a tie
Missing ballot's always mine
To tell the truth, I can't decide
childhood streets have gone away
Waited for spring out in the rain
Like apologies it never came
Withered flower
New gunpowder
I'm not the same
Withered flower
New gunpowder
They're both the same

new gunpowder - demo

I love adventure time and I love this song. it's so pretty and so cute with bmo singing it and so SAD, but a beautiful way to wrap up the series. here's to adventure time :~)
thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy it, sorry for cutting off the second verse, I hope it's alright... anyway, shares and reposts always appreciated, thank you so much :)

time adventure - adventure time (cover)

hello! hope you're doing well! a rough demo of a song I finished writing recently. it kind of jumps all over the place and probably only makes sense to my brain, haha, but I guess it's kind of supposed to seem disconnected and a little confusing. the lyrics just felt right to me and I didn't really understand them at first, but the more I worked on this song I understood where it was coming from. I spent a lot of this past year feeling really empty and lost and disconnected. this song definitely draws from a lot of that experience.
I hope you like it! thank you so much for listening and supporting my music. shares and reposts always appreciated :)

lyrics:
Steam on the mirror
Trying to make it make sense
Just holding back water
Killing my friends
Had a one step plan to get to you
I only wanna be there if you'll be there too

When all of the colours turn to a different hue
I'd bike across town in the rain just to be with you
Where did my conscience go?

A year of ballpoint doodles
Over blue grid lines
Rinse off your ink stained hands
Washed away like time

Shouldn't have been so easy
To compile it all in a single page
You think it should be so easy
To confide in you
Where did my conscience go?

holding back water - demo

i'm finally doing a steven universe cover! i love su so much, it's such a special show. all the songs are great and love like you is such a classic. anyway, I hope you're doing well and having a nice day and enjoy my little cover. thanks so much for listening, shares appreciated too :)

love like you - steven universe (cover)

hello! hope you're doing well. here's a VERY ROUGH demo of a song I wrote recently. (haha, sorry. i know it's not the best performance, but i was too tired to record it again. please forgive me.)
thanks so much for listening!

lyrics:
wantless needing and lossless bleeding
the incessant screw in your side
like the chime of a clock
the wind on a rock
decaying with time

what's it like when you hear
the inescapable cries of a child
how do you ignore the dial
when its flying past red
do you imagine the smile
as you're lying in bed

it's such a crooked line you've drawn to divide our differences
you can take it back, have it warm in your lap if you'd listen

Just how long will we last in this dance across spherical sides
I open like a blind eye

I relayed you my part and I thought it would spark something different
We could just sit back, watch it seep through the cracks as I let it

screw in your side - demo

hello! i hope you're well and having a nice day. this is a song i uploaded a demo for a few months ago. i've recorded it a bit better and added a strings section (just MIDI strings, not real strings, i don't have those kinds of resources, haha). the song is about my ongoing... complicated... relationship i have with my mum. i've probably said this before, but i just want to clarify that, although i write a lot of songs about our misunderstandings, i DO NOT at all mean to present her in a negative way. she is actually a wonderful human being who i am very grateful for and who does so much for my family every day. it's just that, like in any relationship, ours has had its difficult times and i tend to write about the difficult things in my life to help process them and move on.
thank you so much for listening and supporting my music, it means a lot to me. feel free to share it if you like, it helps out a lot :)

lyrics:
wantless needing and lossless bleeding
the incessant screw in your side
like the chime of a clock
the wind on a rock
decaying with time

what's it like when you hear
the inescapable cries of a child
how do you ignore the dial
when its flying past red
do you imagine the smile
as you're lying in bed

it's such a crooked line you've drawn to divide our differences
you can take it back, have it warm in your lap if you'd listen

Just how long will we last in this dance along parallel lines?
I open like a blind eye

I relayed you my part and I thought it would spark something different
We could just sit back, watch it seep through the cracks as I let it

The Screw in Your Side

hello wonderful humans on soundcloud! i hope you're doing well :)
finally, a song that isn't filled to the brim with angst. i wrote this about returning to childhood aspects of a younger self and accepting them as integral parts of your identity.
i'm a loser, loner, freak, so, in primary school, i would go to the library during break times and just read fantasy novels because i was (what i'm now realising and laughing at in hindsight) a pretentious little idiot kid who was like, "friends? i don't need friends? haha, look at all these other people who think they need friends".
then, in high school, i kind of became affiliated with a group of friends and i thought i was like, going places and growing and changing and all that kind of thing, but towards the end of high school, i realised (not in a sad way), actually, i really don't like these people and don't belong here.
so, in my final year i found myself just going to the library and reading fantasy novels again without really thinking about it, until one time it hit me, "wow, buddy, you're literally the same loser kid", and i'm super content with that.
i mean, i have since realised, "actually, i am a human being and human beings need social interaction and connection"; i no longer think i'm exempt from the basic human need of companionship, but i am really happy being a loser who goes to the library by themself.
anyway, i don't know why i put my whole life story here, but um... yeah, that's the specific situation that the song describes, i guess. of course, it can be applied to other situations, it is generally just about returning to a childhood self and not following the adolescent tendency to run from their childhood self, trying to fit society's norms of adulthood (so i could've just left this at those first few sentences, but here we are).
thank you so much for listening to my music and reading my brain vomit! i really appreciate it!

lyrics:
Let the oil sludge settle to grime
Decanter the contents of your mind
Sticking my hands in jars of old sediment
Waiting for life to be new

The great plan, the program saying,
"Put it all away"
Reemerge, enter the next phase

Watch the grime line rise in the misty turpentine
Wax and wane just to fully revert
It's a cyclical old ritual attempting to hide the moon
When do you decide that you lose?

So much has happened
But nothing has changed
Stuck in the same loop
It's just in my veins

And I'm sticking my hands in jars of old sediment again...

The great plan
The program
The guiding hand

The nosebleed, the bird beak saying,
"Kid, you haven't changed"
Return to the library base

Stuck in a page again
Dizzy from the days of paints fuming
Does it damage my brain I guess
I didn't care to think
Just watch the five year growth float
Out the window
I'm coming home

Ramblings for the Library Kid

Hello friends, I hope you're doing well! Here is a very rough demo of this loony song I've been writing. I generally try not to take myself too seriously, otherwise I'll absolutely spiral in darkness, but I'm increasingly self-aware that I tend to take this approach too far into the realm of escapism and insanity (not literally insane of course, I hope people know that I write in a very exaggerated way, haha, sorry). I definitely hit a point where I thought, 'man, this isn't good, we should seriously try to achieve... like... peace and mindfulness and whatnot...', so I was seriously considering meditation.

The song became less about me, and more about overstimulation and burnout in society, so it is slightly satirical and takes on the persona of this very lost, loopy person who really knows nothing about mindfulness, hence the rather stereotypical representation of meditation with the humming. Just wanted to clear that up because I don't want to offend anyone who meditates. I'm genuinely in deep awe and admiration of people who practice meditation because my brain is absolute chaos.

Sorry for writing so much. Thanks if you read this far and thanks for listening to my music, it means a lot to me! I hope you have a wonderful day :)

Lyrics:
Hunks of metal sinking the timeline
The kids on the rise and 
Addicted to lights
Am I outdated
Making a call to the earth

I need a morning high
wake for coffee at sunrise
Inventing new crimes
The kids think it's fine
That we're slaves of the system
Labouring fools with
Timid and tired purple fingers
Cold at the desk
Fighting for rest and
Considering meditation
Let me give in to the spiritual realm

I've not yet grasped the reins of these foolish games we play
Shackling our chains and hunting for blame
It's a fruitless pursuit
Every day is the same but a number

Trapped in a vice
Sentenced for life now
Considering medication
Let me forfeit the physical world
Let me forfeit the physical world
And let me give in to the spiritual realm

Considering Meditation - Demo

Hello wonderful humans on SoundCloud! I hope you're well! Here is a very rough demo of a song I wrote recently.
This song started off kind of based on myself, or at least, the part of me that longs to do all these things, to be all these things, and to share my inner world with the world around me, but is too scared to actually do any of it; realising that I'm the only obstacle in the way of achieving everything I aspire to do.
I feel like the Hermit in the song became more of a character than representative of me because it was built upon such a specific singular aspect of myself that I don't really think of Hermit as me anymore, but it's definitely still an experience that relates to me and that I hope speaks to my fellow introverts of the world who have such beautiful and brilliant little worlds inside them.
Thank you so much for listening and supporting my music, it means a lot to me. Have a nice day :)

Lyrics:
Perpetual hermit
Haven't you learnt that your
Dimmed down days are dumb
They leave you young
And laying on
Crystalline dreams
Like a fizzled gun

Your days are aimless
Your provide nameless
Introductions of yourself
When will your dimmed down days be done?

Do you expect them to guess your name?
Do you expect them to fill the frame?
It's a long-shot expectation for the non-Hermatine nation
Don't you think?

Take the old train hoping to get somewhere
Wait the loop and wonder why you're still here

Holding back
Forgotten strands
And gentle hands
And painted plans
You're an inflamed gland
An unsung prayer
Desperately waiting to be stripped bare

Do you expect them to guess your name?
Do you expect them to fill the frame?

When will your dimmed down days be done?

Perpetual Hermit - Demo

Hello! I hope you're well and safe and happy wherever you are in the world!
Here is a slightly better version of a song that I uploaded a demo of last week. I put the whole story behind it there, so I don't want to repeat myself. In short, it's about having this huge inner world or person you are on the inside that you want to share, but being too scared to actually do that; being the only obstacle in the way of being your ideal self.
I still consider this version a demo, but it at least has a full band arrangement and I retook the vocals until they were somewhat acceptable, so there you go. I actually have a very different vision of how this song will eventually sound, but this silly little messy rock-angsty kid version feels like it has a place in the journey of this song, so I decided to upload it as a little marking of where this song is at right now.
Thank you so much for listening and supporting my music, it genuinely means a lot :) Have a nice day :))

Lyrics:
Perpetual hermit
Haven't you learnt that your
Dimmed down days are dumb
They leave you young
And laying on
Crystalline dreams
Like a fizzled gun

Your days are aimless
Your provide nameless
Introductions of yourself
When will your dimmed down days be done?

Do you expect them to guess your name?
Do you expect them to fill the frame?
It's a long-shot expectation for the non-Hermatine nation
Don't you think?

Take the old train hoping to get somewhere
Wait the loop and wonder why you're still here

Holding back
Forgotten strands
And gentle hands
And painted plans
You're an inflamed gland
An unsung prayer
Desperately waiting to be stripped bare

Do you expect them to guess your name?
Do you expect them to fill the frame?

When will your dimmed down days be done?

Perpetual Hermit (less bad version, but still a demo)

Hello wonderful humans, I hope you're well :) Here's my cover of Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers.
Decided to return to my roots of dodgy phone recordings of my unplugged guitar.
Gonna be so honest, I'm not even a massive Phoebe Bridgers fan or anything but I definitely have a real soft spot for her and boygenius as music that exists outside of my usual bubble of stuff I listen to. They're like... my guilty pleasure pop artists, even though they're not even 'pop' as such, just that they've achieved mainstream success. And also, I've been coming around to 'pop' music, there's definitely a place for it in the world and I can appreciate it for sure. Haha, I don't know why I had to add this little tangent. Just some thoughts. Anyway, this song is nice and chill, but meaningful and fun to play, so... here we are.
Thanks so much for listening, I hope you enjoy. Have a nice day :)

**also, ahhh, I know it's "out to the suburbs", I messed up, I'm so sorry

Kyoto - Phoebe Bridgers (Cover)

Hello wonderful humans on SoundCloud! It's been a while, but I promise I haven't forgotten about this, haha.

Here's a song I wrote in response to an Earth Day prompt. I'll let the song speak for itself, but the main thing is: IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT WE PROTECT OUR PLANET!!

Thank you so much for being here and listening, I hope you enjoy. Have a nice day wherever you are in the world :)

Lyrics:
Creatures of earth
We forget your worth
Never stop to see Her
But the sky's eyes are nice
The sky has a nice kind of temperament
When I imagine that she blinks
What is she thinking of our handiwork

Does it make Her cry?
Does it make you cry?

Still we think we are a blessing
Not infecting our home
We think the future is bright
The future's a nice kind of permanent
Until it's not
And She's already lost a fight
She'd trusted we'd never start

It makes her cry
It makes you cry

And when she cries
You feel it too

In the leaves at your feet
In the water you drink
Fallen water like tears
Choking on air plagued through years

And when you cry
She feels it too

If only tears could water the Earth
Bring life back to Her
And if our tears could make time reverse
I'd give my tears all to Her
Mother,

I hope I cry them for you
I hope I cry
I hope cry enough for a thousand years, love
Don't you?

How I pray
For tears to be rain

cry for Her

Hello wonderful humans on SoundCloud, I hope you're doing well! I feel like it's been a while, but here's a new song :)

This one's a little moody. It's about the sort of nihilism or cynicism in society and just watching people in your life being sucked into these terrible cycles of negativity and this feeling of meaninglessness. While they maybe have fairly reasonable claims or you secretly agree with them sometimes, it's also pretty pointless to get so caught up in this destructive mindset; it doesn't really get anyone anywhere and just makes you miserable.

I was thinking about this idea and applied it to this character I've created for a couple songs (more on that later... probably much later to be honest, haha). They're basically an extreme embodiment of these negative aspects/characteristics I see in myself or other people; a bit of a warning, like "you don't want to become this!". Anyway, I don't know why I'm explaining this project because it's still very much being developed, but I've written a couple songs based on this character and I'm starting to see it come together.

Thank you so much for listening to and supporting my music and also for reading my brain vomit. I hope you enjoy, have a great day :)

Lyrics:
Sad dribble dripping out of your mouth
Sad dribble like the bed of a couch
Sad dribble is the garbage you eat
Sad dribble is a poisonous feast

Sad dribble is a valuable thing
Sad dribble is the line that your ring
Sad dribble like the edge of a corner
Sad dribble in a world without order

So cry
Choke on the dribble falling out of your eyes
Choke on the promise lingering from the sky
Choke like you know that it's the last time

Sad dribble seeping into your sheets
Sad dribble making mess at your feet
Sad dribble like a miserable hoarder
Sad dribble knows a world without borders

So I watch you die
Choking on the dribble falling out of your eyes
Choking on the sniffle that you sing to the sky
Choking on the fiddle playing at your demise

Sad Dribble

Hello SoundCloud! I hope you're doing well. It feels like I've been away for a while, but here's a new demo!

This is actually a bit of an old song. I wrote the lyrics around a year ago when I was still dealing with this conflict I had with my mum. Things are a lot better now, so it's crazy to look back on everything I wrote back then; how much I wrote about it and how intensely I felt things, especially with the current perspective of, 'wow, buddy, it didn't have to be that dramatic, it's fine, you're fine, you're gonna be fine'. I wrote so many songs about it, but this was one that really felt right to me as a way of describing how I felt at the time.

I had these lyrics just sitting there for a while because I'd kinda written them to the melody or at least the rhythm of another song. It sounded very different and I'd been intending to properly sit down and write some chords for it so that I could write a new melody but I just hadn't gotten around to it until now.

Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day wherever you are in the world :))

Lyrics:
I told you I was broken and I thought that you would care
I told you I was broken and you pushed me down the stairs
Was it unfair to hope that you would catch me on the fall?
Would I have been too blind to see you there at all?

You cry for your friend and for fiction too
I even saw your tears for that kid on the news
Am I not your family?
Am I not your spawn?
Am I just the youthly spent potential that you mourn?

Will I ever outlive this imaginary cell?
Will I ever earn my place?

Watch the rift
Bear the cold
Repair the fractures
As I seep through the mould

Don't want another part time trade, I just want to be a kid
I didn't want to hurt you, mother, but I guess that I did
And it turns out the wordless voice can utter more harm than I thought
I promise I was trying but I didn't have the gall

I always thought I wasn't bitter
But I guess that isn't true
Turns out I'm withered citrus rind when it comes to you
I told you I was broken when you asked me why I cry
I told you I was broken and that you're the reason why

Now I'm a decomposing body reaching up above the soil
I had so much more to paint upon the dried and dying oils
Like your smile from my dreaming
Like your laugh that hurts my ears
Like a dull unpolished trophy
Decaying through the years

spent potential - demo

Hello wonderful human on the internet, I hope you're doing well! This is just a (very) little something fun to upload.

I watched Over the Garden Wall for the first time this year and absolutely loved it. I love animation and was a massive Cartoon Network kid (still am) but I missed out on this show and had been meaning to watch it for a while. It wasn't really what I was expecting; I thought it was just gonna be a fun whimsical brothers in a forest thing, which it was, but it was also way darker and spookier than I thought. It defied my expectations in the best way possible though, it's so brilliant. Wirt is so me-core, he's such a loser, I love him. Also it just reminds me why I love a good limited series and a show that knows when to end. You can really see that the creators care about crafting stories and made this show with so much thought and intention.

Anyway, this is just becoming my Over the Garden Wall review/ramble, so I'll stop here. Just watch the show if you haven't already, it's a masterpiece.

This song has been in my head all week, so I decided to learn it, which lead to me deciding to record it for this because little unplugged covers are fun.

Thanks so much for listening! I hope you have a great day :))

The Fight Is Over - Over the Garden Wall (Cover)

Hello wonderful human on SoundCloud, I hope you're doing well wherever you are in the world!

Here's a new song! This is kind of another I'm lost/tired/feeling weird kind of song. Haha, I don't know, I seem to write about this a lot. I feel like this one leans a bit more into being concerned about humanity/society and the crazy injustices going on in the world, but being so burnt out and mentally brought down by it all to the point of not having the will to do anything about it, and then feeling guilty about that, etc., etc., destructive mental cycle, haha, yay, fun.

Sorry, the quality of the recording isn't that great right now, but I'm trying to be more willing to just share my music without being too fussed over it. Thanks so much for listening, I hope you enjoy! Have a nice day :))

Lyrics:
Kicked to the curb in a search for words that matter
Did it ever really matter at all?
Sidelined, but it's all well deserved
I serve no purpose
Let me clatter and fall

Inventing a movement to pass the time
Revolution's coming by and by
The body's a temple but the soul can't decide
Where to reside
It slides and slides

Feeling like I woke up inside of a can
Hearing that the grown ups are at it again
Just pushing the timeline back with a finger
Blaming the child with the soft, cold whisper again

Sit on my ass until it's sore
Make up a plan just to ignore it
Washing my hands in mud and oil
Write down a grand story to spoil

Feeling like I woke up inside of a can
Hearing that the grown ups are at it again
Just filling the air with the mumbled mutter
Shaking your head with the jumbled clutter again

Strip the wire
Let the fire
Infiltrate your eyes
Light your burdens
Wait for something
New to plague your mind

Woke Up Inside of a Can - (rough version for now)

Hello friends on soundcloud! I hope you're doing well wherever you are in the world.

I uploaded a voice memo demo thing for this song a couple weeks ago, so I'm gonna keep this brief because I don't wanna repeat myself, hehe. It's basically about this conflict I had with my mum that messed with me for ages. I was writing about it A LOT and this particular song was peculiar in that I had just written the lyrics and left them sitting there for a while. But it stuck with me and remained a song that stood out to me from that time, even if I never finished it. It just meant a lot to me and was a huge part of figuring out exactly how I felt and how I could move forward; probably because it was a later song during that conflict/time in my life.

I look back on all of that now and think, 'haha, wow buddy, you were so dramatic, ahahahaha', but these songs still mean a lot to me, so it was important that I finish and record the ones that I still hold dear; just on a personal level.

(Damn, I said I'd keep this brief, but here we are.)

I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for listening to my music and reading my rambles!!! Your support means a lot to me! Have a lovely day :))

Lyrics:
I told you I was broken and I thought that you would care
I told you I was broken and you pushed me down the stairs
Was it unfair to hope that you would catch me on the fall?
Would I have been too blind to see you there at all?

You cry for your friend and for fiction too
I even saw your tears for that kid on the news
Am I not your family?
Am I not your spawn?
Am I just the youthly spent potential that you mourn?

Will I ever outlive this imaginary cell?
Will I ever earn my place?

Watch the rift
Bear the cold
Repair the fractures
As I seep through the mould

Don't want another part time trade, I just want to be a kid
I didn't want to hurt you, mother, but I guess that I did
And it turns out the wordless voice can utter more harm than I thought
I promise I was trying but I didn't have the gall

I always thought I wasn't bitter
But I guess that isn't true
Turns out I'm withered citrus rind when it comes to you
I told you I was broken when you asked me why I cry
I told you I was broken and that you're the reason why

Now I'm a decomposing body reaching up above the soil
I had so much more to paint upon the dried and dying oils
Like your smile from my dreaming
Like your laugh that hurts my ears
Like a dull unpolished trophy
Decaying through the years

Spent Potential

hello, i'm charlize! (also bobby, formerly sleepy mushrooms...) ~ they/she ~ i hope you're having a nice day ~ thanks for stopping by and listening to my music, it means a lot :)

Bobby Loonin

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