i’m looking for the place 
the spirit meets the skin
cant figure out why that place 
feels so hard to be in
we’re all of us in this ill fitting party
busy pretending to relate
and it’s getting harder and harder to fake 
acting like everything’s in its place

(grouper cover)

living room

i went out for water 
came back with an orange sweater 
never thought i’d lose it
nothing is a lesson
can only keep me guessing 
i should watch a movie 

recorded in 2020

lesson

This Party

You Turn Me

unfinished demo of bonsai's song "waiting."
vocals: breezy lozano
lead guitar: breezy lozano
rhythm guitar: jorge moreno
bass: billy komisar
drums: luke shelton
mixed, mastered, and recorded by desi scaglione 


i thought i would like to mention
that i can see you and me in another
dimension
somewhere in the distance 
find me in ten years
somewhere in the future
when we're both ready 
we can go steady, but until then i'll be here
waiting

waiting (demo)

my body feels numb
i cant see what you see
and i will never
be what you want me to be
good luck forever 
ignorance is bliss
eyes always tired
it's sleep that i miss
you could've mentioned
your true intentions
and you could've told me
i was giving you too much attention
bad thoughts forever 
ignorance is bliss
eyes always tired
it's sleep that i miss 
it would have been nice
to know 
that all the words that were said
didn't mean we were friends

guitar: whorge moreno, billy tha killa
bass: b(onsai)reezy lozano
drums: mateo $o$a

from 2017/2018

6/8 song (good luck/bad thoughts forever)

would you make it stop
if i 
made it all disappear
i just wanna watch everything 
fade away as 
we just lay here
my necklace on your chest
‘round your neck 
like i’m your savior



unmixed demo sorta thing

christ (demo)

seeing figures
in bed all day
don't sleep at night 
dehydrated
don't want to eat
hallucinated
won't brush my hair

autumn violence

your picture in my bathroom drawer 
and you’ll miss her 
but i’ll miss her more 
and i tried to tell you baby 
i’ve never seen this before 

you’re so caught up in who she’s with
you forgot to give us our goodnight kiss
i tried to get to know you 
but i shot and i missed

remember when our shoes stuck 
to the kitchen floor? 
i wish i knew then 
i wouldn’t see you anymore 

remember sitting on the living room floor? 
i’ll miss you but she’ll miss you more

heavy goodbye

seeing figures
in bed all day 
don’t sleep at night
dehydrated
don’t want to eat
hallucinated
won’t brush my hair

i could be there for you
if you let me
i could love you 
if you let me 
(x2)

if you let me

why’re you so scared of me
why’re you so scared of intimacy 

i could love you if you just let me

if you let me (x2)

schroeder's song

golden skulls in my room
leaving, leaving you soon
can i come over to your house
subliminal sounds now arouse 

to go and die soon (x2)

writing to see ahead
looking back it was never dead
full of coal and sound
alone and feeding the hounds

to go and die

bonsai

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