Kill me a river

To sink beyond the surf, pockets lined with heavy sermons
I put my head under the water
But she held my neck pinned against the river bed 
Upon final breath she stripped me bare
Leaving nothing but a cold hard stare

Festering falsehoods stirring from the shit that she is spewing
Mouth like a volcano, anal, poison that stains all
Unlike Midas all she touches turns to stone

My last stronghold to be cleared, of you
Smother the thoughts, 'til they're all dead
Grinding out all the rot, but now I'm left unwhole

I've killed us all but you've killed us both
You're an effigy of the ideal life
I think I'd rather kill myself
Than drown in you again

When she speaks it's freezing rain
Kill me a river
Bring me it's head

KILL ME A RIVER

Northwitch//Josh Hahn

Feeling my surroundings with swollen knuckles
Blindly in the dark
If I bite my tongue any harder I'll never speak again

The brush folds underneath my feet
The mountains gaze with shame
Subtle phrases cling to the air as my eyes open and close
Strip me of my senses

I am scared I won't understand 
Pinned to by self esteem
Eyes always seem to flutter

I'm running farther from myself
Bent to the cruel will of my own aspirations
Utopia has become my cell, a welcoming hell 
And I still can't find my home

She was something else
Not perfect, but nobody really is
Maybe I am just scared
To be fair it really hurts sometimes but that's life
You can't live as an anchor, rusting away
Set yourself free

Something Swelling, from inside
Breathing, craving
Something outside of these confines

A heartfelt apology to myself 
I've held this knife to my heart for too long now
It's time to take pride in my life what I've done where I've been
I am so proud

With no anchors to bear you know that I will be there
There is life, there is hope

I'll find it one day, one day for sure 
But between now and then is filled with such promise
It would be a shame to be squandered
A force to not love it above it all I've conquered this bitterness
And may it return I shall welcome it's presence
But never be consumed

With no anchors to bear you know that I will be there
There is life, there is hope

The Year that Never Happened

Anchors

Northwitch//Josh Hahn

This clock wears me down, every day's another frown
Colder I grow bitter I taste
Swimming in limbo like it's all that I know

Something like a vagabond
Caught between lust and desire
The unrest exists between the folds
Forever searching, forever lost

Pining for an exit, clinging to the comforts of the padded room
With the door unlocked
Toes pressed into the crumbling ledge

Exposing it's faults, ripping at the throat
The adulation peaks as the crowd falters
The throes of my self pity are muffled by the sound
The stones hit the ground, the stones hit the ground
Hanging in limbo I was found

The air is heavier here
Pickled by the salts of bitter days, nights, weeks
Becoming all of which I despise

Caressing the curves of the crevasse that we dub loneliness
Overburdened by a need to succeed
To excel or be forgotten like sharks propel
Sink or swim, my dear oh well

This clock wears me down, every day's another frown
Colder I grow bitter I taste
Swimming In limbo like it's all that I know

In Limbo

Northwitch//Josh Hahn

Running through a forest of mirrors
One begins to feel
The faster you run the quicker they twist, they mock
Stumbling like you always seem to do

When you look in the mirror does your face pour?
Does it water a desert heart?
Will it ever feed the yearning?
Oh how I've grown cold, oh how I've grown

With fleeting breaths I slip away, blow after blow I bruise empty souls
I wish I could hide but it comes from inside, comes from inside

Feed my indiscretion, feed my arrogance
Build me a fortress of narcissism just find me some balance

And I hate that I need this, I fear I need this
I'll never be whole

Is this hard rain?
Maybe it's fear, yeah I think it's fear
That's pulling me down, I'm just not social really not willing humility
is a strange place some mornings I wake up
I wake up, I wake up, just to fall down

And this feels like hard rain flows through my chest
Bringing me back, bringing me back, to life

I really wish I hadn't notice the  seconds on the clock
They didn't bring me any comfort, just reminded me to hurry
I didn't know why, I needed to run but it was urgent
I swear it was

So I found myself in the mirror 
I didn't like what I had come to see
I pressed my hands to the glass
But I couldn't put a finger on it
What I didn't want to see

And this feels like hard rain flows through my chest
Bringing me back, bringing me back to life

Hard Rain

The crutch of a blank space as a cure for my heavy heart
Has painted me pain this red does stain

Where are you? stay my hand
Oh the beasts at my bedside crave blood tonight
It's so cold the air we breathe
I miss the warmth of your loving arms
Share grace with me 

The crutch of a blank space as a cure for my heavy heart
Has painted me pain this red does stain

I'm so lost fear cuts me down
Mask my insecurities in a plastic smile
And take me home

The crutch of a blank space as a cure for my heavy heart
Has painted me pain this red does stain

The crutch of a blank space as a cure for my heavy heart
Has painted me pain this red does stain

If I could explain to you how it feels
To look in the mirror and see
A damned ugly face that's so out of place
I know not why I must feel this way 
I just want a taste of what it means to be real
Have I no honor?
Am I a disgrace

If I could explain to you how it feels
To look in the mirror and see
A damned ugly face that's so out of place
I know not why I must feel this way 
I just want a taste of what it means to be real
Have I no honor?
Am I a disgrace

Single

Stain Me Red

Well I don't have that beard or that truck and I'm stuck
In the past
Feeling dead last
Well maybe that's fine
And baby you're not mine
But I'd rather eat dinner alone

These girls always tell me they'll cook and they'll clean but
Believe me I'm fed and don't like sharing my bed
I crave conversation but nothing comes up
Except for, 'Hey how's your mom and your dad'

Every late night's a waste right
Searching for kind eyes after sunrise
I think I'd rather eat dinner alone

My girl left, my truck knocks, my nose bleeds, my life rocks
My knees ache I feel raped 
By life and all its problems
I went to the doctor because my balls hurt quite bad
She said, 'son you might have cancer.'
So she did some things  I felt crass
She put her finder in my ass 
I got a parking ticket and cried all the way home
'til the doctor called me back and said
'It's just chlamydia'
Oh life, I just can't win with ya

I woke up at 7 today
7 is too early my eyes weren't ready for the sun
So I shut them and slept in 'til 10
I woke up to the mess that I made last night
Dishes in the sink and the light was on
I don't have too much to impress these days
I think I'll make some music in my house coat with my balls out

You can throw yourself at women but they'll never make you happy
You can drink yourself to sleep but you will never truly rest
You can candy your nose for 3 or 4 days straight
But you'll never find light in a hole
You can fight all you want
You can even try and run 
But you'll never get far if you bag it up and take it to go
So let go, just let go
Enjoy your dinner alone

BOY NORTH

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