First new track in a long time. Had to record the vocals in my car because I had no other space of my own. It'll get better. Have a few new beats to share as well

i know who you are now export

soft chord break

Unappreciated

A hard share of a hard time in my life. Gripped by stress, anxiety, and emerging mental illness, this is the story of the time I lost myself and my mind. I was yelling into a dark room, hearing voices and experiencing paranoid psychosis. Nobody helped me, nobody talked to me, the stigma was isolating and confusing. Feeling fearful, alone, lost and helpless. It's hard to think back on this time but if I hadn't sought help, I am pretty sure I would have not come back from the brink and might have gone over the edge. I'm grateful to those that surrounded me and loved me and cared for me when no one else would.

Whispers In The Darkness

I've been working on this song for two days and I think I got it. I had to get this one out as quick as possible, cause I just don't want it hangin on. Sometimes, there's just no justifyin'.

Just For The Ring

The third step prayer says...Take my will and my life, guide me in my sobriety, and show me how to live. I prayed for a way to express this in music and was given a song that mirrorred the Song of Solomon. Losing oneself in some kind of darkness is something anyone can find their way out of by believing in a higher power and surrendering your will. The peace of God will find you and your heart will fill with love.

Book of Samuel

I wrote this song in rehab. I wanted to sing about everything that I needed to let go of. The saying goes, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. I most certainly can't change the past. I can't change the way I remember things, or anyone's perception of me or themselves. Looking back I see a lot of things more clearly from both sides and I didn't make it easy to keep any promises. I wish I got help sooner, I wish I knew I had a disease and that I needed recovery. I don't even know if things would be different, but maybe there wouldn't be the regret and the broken promises. Maybe there would be. I can drive myself crazy thinking about the past, and accepting where I ended up without my family is hard as hell but I have no other choice than to keep going at this cast away life of mine, no matter what. This song brought me a bit of serenity when I wrote it, I spent the last couple days recording this arrangement and praying it helps me accept the things I can not change, again.

Promises

This is my song about letting go. I just couldn't write it until I was ready to actually let go. Fortunately I saw what I needed to see to show me that I shouldn't be holding on to anything in good faith that wasn't good for me and who already let go of me, either way to eagerly, or had let go a long time ago and just didn't tell me.  I don't care for the answer,  there's no changing the past or people, and there's no use putting water on a dead flower . It's time I put all my questions and my thoughts and circular thinking on this subject away and into this song so I can leave it here and make space for healing, happiness and growing into my passions of art and music.

Sick Burn

Late Night Jamz at Bindlestiff Studio

From the play "My Tia Loca's Life of Crime" by Roy Conboy

brandonbigelow