✨Penelope- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) ✨ 

Penelope a song about a chance meeting with an elegant elderly lady in a small coastal town in France. She seems to have lived a life of three people, albeit with some family regrets later on. 
Penelope is very real, lives on and should be celebrated. Every name holds a story, and Penelope is a song that tells one of love, longing, and memories that never fade. 

With heartfelt lyrics and a melody that lingers, this song captures the essence of deep emotions, lost moments, and the kind of love that stays with you forever. 

💬 Who is your Penelope? Share your story below!

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Penelope

🎵 I've had my eye on you for some time- (Officel Lyric Video by Brady Kent ) 🎶✨

‘I've had my eye on you for some time is a new Brady Kent release 

💔 He is unhappy, whilst at the same time looking elsewhere, mmm 
Some things in life just don’t feel right, forced, empty, or lacking real emotion. "I've had my eye on you for some time' by Brady Kent is a raw and introspective song that explores a marriage, which should be meaningful, but ends up feeling hollow. 

With poetic lyrics and a haunting melody, this track dives into themes of disconnection, lost passion, and the struggle to find something real with a new partner that he has not yet met. Children play a part in the decision.

Are you with the right person?

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I’ve had my eye on you for sometime

🎵 All Hell Has Broken Loose - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶✨

All Hell Has Broken Loose is about ‘there’s no turning back, no time left. No more lies to hide behind. In "All Hell Has Broken Loose," Brady Kent delivers a deeply raw and haunting track about a man who’s reached the end of the road, with nothing left but regret, truth, and judgment.

After receiving devastating news, he's forced to face everything he’s run from: his past, his mistakes, and the pain he's caused. Now he's "walking in dead man's shoes," laying a place for the judge, both literal and symbolic.

A broken marriage, a fractured family, and the silence of those who once loved him linger in the background. This song cuts deep into the emotional wreckage of deceit, denial, and the collapse of a life built on fragile ground. With poetic storytelling and a haunting melody, "All Hell Has Broken Loose" is a dark reflection on consequences, guilt, and the bitter taste of truth revealed too late.

Have you ever reached the point of no return?

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All hell has broken loose

🎵 Why did you pay, the man in the lifeboat - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

This track is inspired by the sinking of the Titanic and the debate people have had ever since, about 'The Coward of the Titanic' - J Bruce Ismay. Some say the story is accurate, others say he has been misrepresented. 

I don't know, but this song talks about the events on the day, and how he lived his life afterwards. This song is about the sadness of 1500 people in the water and if it could have been avoided. 

🎵 With haunting melodies and deeply felt lyrics, this song asks the question that needs answering, "Why did you pay, the man in the lifeboat'.

What do you think about the 'Coward of the Titanic ?

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Why did you pay, the man in the lifeboat

🎵 A silent assassin, is amongst us - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

This track is inspired by a nearly fifty-year friendship with eight students I met at university. 
Alas two of them are no longer with us, but they are in our thoughts all the time. It's clear we are in 'snipers alley'. This song tries to make sense of it all

🎵 With haunting melodies and deeply felt lyrics, "A silent assassin, is amongst us' is a tribute to the heartbreak of unspoken pain.

Have you lost long-time friends?

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A silent assassin, is amongst us

🎵 The last thing I said to her - (Official Lyric Video Song by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

A throwback to Motown and jazz blues. This is song about a man who feels he made a mistake letting his girl go, since she was 'the one'. To then later find out, she had lied and 'kicked him out'. In the end he wants nothing to do with her and feels she will regret it 

Feel the raw emotion and heartache in "The last thing I said to her" by Brady Kent, a deeply poignant jazz blues song that explores the pain of love lost, unspoken emotions, and the complexities of heartache. 

With its heartfelt lyrics, this song perfectly captures the vulnerability and longing that come with facing difficult emotional truths.

Have you wasted you wasted you time with someone?

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The last thing, I said to her

🎵 Wanna a better life for their children - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🌸✨
 
The Right Rev. Mariann Budde (Episcopal Bishop of Washington) preached to the President of the United States. 

This song is loosely about her message and how it was received. This is a reflection of recent political events and the bravery shown by the bishop.

Some refer to her as a modern-day hero. At the very least it’s made us stop and think.

Which side of the political divide are you on ?💬 Have you ever been in a moment where words failed? 

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Wanna a better life for their children

🎵 There’s something about you- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent ) 🎶✨

'There’s something about you ' is a new Brady Kent release 

💔 A story of someone who secretly loves someone they know, but is afraid to to talk to them about it. She just wants 'a day without rain.' Concluding that she will 'always be on stanbdby'

Have you ever been in  standby ?

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yrics

There’s something about you
Nothing hurts more, if I see you
I try to stay cool

There’s something about you
There’s nothing I can do 
Something if only you knew

If only you knew mmmmm

A dark truth you don’t see
The less you know, the better 
Keeping a secret gets tougher

My life is in the slow lane
Complicated, all for nothing 
Just want one day, without rain 

Yeah, no rain

I’ve got you in view
A friend that makes me blue
You don’t know, I love you
No one will know
I won’t ever let it show

I’m ready to talk 
Only I know the truth 
It might be a shock?

My idea is to meet, to see you
Out of the shadows maybe 
All or nothing, can you let it be

I know it makes no sense
You’re my quiet fire
The pain is intense 

I’ve got you in view
A friend that makes me blue
You don’t know, I love you
No one will know
I won’t ever let it show

Wouldn’t go as planned
I’m never going to win
You know me, but not my dream.

In the dark, by myself I cry
Maybe it’s never gonna be 
Guess always on standby

I’ve got you in view
A friend that makes me blue
You don’t know, I love you
No one will know
I won’t ever let it show

I’ve got you in view
A friend, that makes me blue
Makes me blue ooo

There’s something about you

Its midnight, are you crazy' is a emotional ballad that is about a conversation between a woman and her lover. He called her at midnight and in a ten second call , said he won't be coming back

She questions why he would do such a thing and pleads druring the course of the night and earl;y in the morning. In the end she admits to a broken heart.

A haunting melody. Honest words. A message that speaks to the soul.
With its heartfelt lyrics, this song perfectly captures the emotions involved.

Has your heart been broken ?

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#BradyKent #Great to hear you againSit down#OriginalSong #ChristianBallad #NewMusicRelease #EmotionalGospel

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Its midnight, are you crazy

🎵 Don’t call the cops, just roll with it- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶

✨ A remake of an extremely popular Brady kent song. 

A provocative look into the world of fashion, trendy clothes and styles. 'Dont call the cops just roll with it. She's at a gig in cherry red lipstick', needs humming in the shower before you got out for the evening.

Step into the raw, edgy world of  the "Heroin Chic Look" , a provocative indie anthem that challenges societal standards and explores the allure of rebellion and unconventional beauty. 
With striking lyrics and a mesmerizing melody, this track boldly stands out as a fearless statement on individuality and expression.

 The official lyric video brings the song’s essence to life with captivating visuals that mirror its artistic and unapologetic tone. Whether you’re a fan of indie music with grit or looking for a track that resonates with your rebellious spirit, "Don’t call the cops, just roll with it" will leave a lasting impression. 

Do you wear cheery red lipstick ?

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Don’t call the cops, just roll with it

🎵 He’s a strong jawbone, loner cowboy- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent )🌟

❤️ A song about my actual brother Guy who, now lives in Fance - 'out of town'. The words say it all. He's a 'strong jawbone loner cowboy' (allowing for a bit of poetic license!). 

A much-loved song in the country genre. Celebrate the bond of brotherhood with "He’s a strong jawbone, loner cowboy" by Brady Kent, a heartfelt indie track that delves into the special connection shared between siblings. 

With its evocative lyrics and soulful melody, this song is a touching tribute to family, memories, and the unbreakable ties that define our relationships.
 
The official lyric video combines stunning visuals with Brady Kent’s emotive storytelling, creating a powerful experience that will resonate with anyone who cherishes their loved ones. Whether it’s about honouring a sibling or reflecting on family moments, "He’s a strong jawbone, loner cowboy" will strike a chord and stay with you long after the music ends.

Does your brother live nearby ?

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He’s a strong jawbone, loner cowboy

💔Let’s end, husband and wife–(Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶 

'Let’s end, husband and wife' is a despetae song about infidelity.

Once the trust is gone, it’s all gone. If you can't get past the fling, move on. It's not easy but needs to be done. I think (I’m not an expert!)

Some loves are fleeting, but the feelings linger. "Let’s end, husband and wife" is a sad and relatable track about struggling to move on from a short-lived romance that still holds a piece of your heart. 

With heartfelt lyrics and a playful yet emotional beat, this song delves into the confusion and longing that can come from a love that wasn’t meant to last, but feels impossible to forget. 

💬 Have you ever had a fling and hurt someone you love ? 

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Let’s end, husband and wife

🎵 A cause that no one remember- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent)

 ❤️✨ Alone like the 'dead in Flanders Fields' sums up loneliness and the desperation of a man's life. Some people are just less fortunate than others. 

It's heartbreaking and liked by listeners everywhere. Step into the heartfelt world of "A cause that no one remember" by Brady Kent. This emotional track is a reassuring anthem for anyone feeling lost, lonely, or in need of connection. 

With tender lyrics and a comforting melody, Brady Kent delivers a song that reminds us we’re never truly alone, even in our darkest moments. 

The official lyric video pairs these touching words with captivating visuals, making it easy to sing along and feel the emotion in every note. Whether you're reflecting on love, friendship, or life’s challenges, "A cause that no one remember" is here to soothe your soul.

Have you ever been truly alone ?

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A cause that no one remembers

🎵We can take on the world – (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🏍

🔥🎶 'We can take on the world'. Let’s go for it! Get in the car with no fear! Which of us actually goes through with it?

Life moves fast. Sometimes, you just have to let go and ride. "Bend the Throttle" is an electrifying track about chasing freedom, pushing limits, and leaving everything behind for the open road. 
With high-energy beats, gripping lyrics, and an unstoppable melody, this song is for the rebels, the risk-takers, and anyone who’s ever felt the call of adventure. 

🎧 Watch, listen, and feel the adrenaline rush. If this song fuels your soul, drop a comment and let us know where you’d ride to.

 💬 Where’s your dream road trip destination?

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We can take on the world

✨ No one is fooled– (Official Lyric Video by Brady kent) ✨

No one is fooled is about a man who knows what he is like and why he always ends up alone

Sometimes, the hardest battle is the one within. "No one is fooled' is a raw and emotional song about self-doubt, inner struggles, and the endless search for answers that never seem to come.

With powerful lyrics and a haunting melody, this track dives into the depths of self-reflection, frustration, and the fight to understand oneself. 

💬 Have you ever felt lost in your own thoughts? 

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No one is fooled

🎵 Please no Lawyers- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶✨

Please no Lawyers is about when love turns to loss, and trust breaks apart. Kate tells the raw, emotional story of a man pleading for understanding after fathering a child outside his relationship. With lines like “please no lawyers, no hourly rate” and “I blew it over, an affair, I still care,” this haunting track explores the consequences of betrayal and the fallout that follows.

It’s a story that’s hard to forgive, and even harder to forget. The focus here isn’t just on him, but on her, the one left to pick up the pieces. 

Some hearts drift apart, and sometimes, two people who once knew each other so well become strangers. Kate captures that painful, bittersweet moment of letting go.

Did you ever ‘let go’?

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💔 Emotional lyrics.
🎵 Haunting melody.
🎤 Honest storytelling. 

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Please no Lawyers

🎵 LET’S GO Baby, LETS GO' - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

“LET’S GO Baby, LETS GO” allows you to step into a retro world of Ibiiza clubs "LET’S GO Baby, LETS GO'" is Brady Kent’s latest musical tribute to the era of house and techno - with a jazz funk vibe. 

A celebration of Retro and Boho ( maybe ! no no ! ) , this  track pays homage to clubbers who dance for hours and hours.Their spirit is alive in every beat, every lyric, every step.

 🔥 The message? LET’S GO Baby, LETS GO

Have you ever really LET GO !

 🎶 Perfect for the car, the living room, or the dance floor. Play it on repeat, and feel your stress melt away. Warning: your whole family might end up dancing along! 📺 Watch the video and soak in the vibrant energy, the movement, and the soul.

Have you ever really LET GO !

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LET’S GO Baby, LETS GO

🎵The only way to win the war- (Official Lyric Video from Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

'The only way to win the war' is a song about the 3800 Kimakase pilots that died, fighting a last ditch war for the nation of Japan. They managed to sink 50 ships and kill 5000 enemy seamen.

'Shameful, or heroic' sums up the debate that still rages. There are now less ten kimakase pilots still alive, all in their 90's.

This song is a reflection of the rituals and beliefs around followng a ''divine Emperor' into battle. Most of the men were only 21 years of age.

Do you think it was shameful, or heroic ?

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The only way to win the war

🎵I ain ’t committed a crime- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent )🌸✨ 

'I ain ’t committed a crime' is a emotional blues song. A woman is crying out in pain. She does not want to split up with her partner

She is confused and brings up all kinds of emotions as a final plea

Hard words. Messages that speak to the soul. With its heartfelt lyrics, this song perfectly captures the emotions involved.

Have you broken someones heart?

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I ain ’t committed a crime

🎵 Can’t make sense of it- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent )🌸✨ 

A song inspired by my sister Boo and her lovely partner. They did not need to be together but they wanted it.

This is emotional soul ballad that is about a conversation between a man and his lover. But in this song, things have gone wrong and he is making a plea to stay together.

He shouts out 'But girl, I still want you. I can’t make sense of it. Won’t get over the hurt'

Honest words. A message that speaks to the soul.With its heartfelt lyrics, this song perfectly captures the emotions involved.

Have you ever had to mnake sense of it ?

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#RnB #SoulMusic #RnBMusic #Soul #NewMusic #RnBSoul #RnBArtist #NeoSoulMusic #ClassicSoulMusic #RnBLovers #ChillVibes #SlowJams #FeelGoodMusic #MusicVideo #NowPlaying #YouTubeMusic #UnsignedArtist #IndieSoul

Can’t make sense of it

💔Gotta squeeze the juice–(Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶 

'Gotta squeeze the juice' is a song about the lafst few days of a relationship between two women.

'I’m going mad with rage, I’m at a WAR, yeah, I’ll enlist' says it all. She goes on to say ,'What matters, is to be happy.Gotta squeeze the juice.Need lights back on, baby.Gotta, call a truce '

Once its over, its over. She wants to 'wipe the slate clean, to leave the scene'

This is a sad, slow and relatable track about struggling to move on from a romance. 

With heartfelt lyrics and an emotional beat, this song delves into the confusion and longing that can come from a love that wasn’t meant to last, but feels impossible to let got. 

💬 Have you ever called a truce ? 

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Gotta squeeze the juice

🎵 Tomorrow, shows no mercy- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

'Tomorrow, shows no mercy' is track about a man who got very ill but had  a last minutes reprieve. He is now having to deal with the period  between now and his invitable death. His emotions are running high as he tries to make sense of it all. This is something we all have to deal with, but I guess none of us are prepared.

He asks, 'Can I handle this.Going under, in fear .Speaking, of injustice.Then, talking to her'

He cries out 'Stop saying sorry, baby'

🎵 With a haunting blues vibe and deeply felt lyrics, "Tomorrow, shows no mercy' is a tribute to  unspoken pain and knowing what to do about it.

Do you know someone in this postion ?

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Tomorrow, shows no mercy

🎵 I’m not brave, got no choice- (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

'I’m not brave, got no choice' is about  a woman who has tested positive.

She now struggles wtih all the things that people say to you in these circumstances. Like
'Youv'e had a long life.Youv'e got children.It happens, for a reason.It's ok, to feel like you do'

In the end she concludes : 'I’m not brave, got no choice. It’s just the roll, of the dice.Out of, the clear blue sky'

🎵 With a haunting blues vibe and deeply felt lyrics, " I’m not brave, got no choice' questions what you say and why, to someone in this situation.

Do you know someone who has tested postive ?

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I’m not brave, got no choice

🎵 It’s gonna be, a wild ride - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶✨

“It’s gonna be, a wild ride” is new release from Brady Kent.This song is about someone two people involved in a summer fantasy.

He sings , 'It’s gonna be, a wild ride .The attraction, is hard to hide' and 'At the beach, today
You looked so beautiful, baby'

The video shows ' the way she dances' and just maybe 'black satin lingerie

This song is about a beautiful woman  who's presence is effortless, magnetic and unforgettable.

Have you ever had a summer fanatsy ?

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It’s gonna be, a wild ride

🎵 You’re, in my dreams - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent ) 🎶✨

💔You’re, in my dreams ' is a new Brady Kent release 💔

💔 This is a story about a man returning to his lost love. He can barley speak and can't sleep.
 He has had to face the truth, she is the one !💔

He can't ' cut lose and he is still out there and can't choose'

In the end he says, 'Set the bells, ringing.Think, a beautiful thought.Got some, questions 
Maybe, a surprise encore'

The chorus says it all ,' You’re, in my dreams.The finest girl'

Have you met the one ?

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You're, in my dreams

🎵 It’s good to glow' - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent ) 🎶✨

💔'It’s good to glow ' is a new Brady Kent release 💔

💔 This is a story about a woman finalising realising her sexuaility . She has  had to face the truth, she inow knws who she is 💔

She has got to let down a her current lover gently, with 'amazing roses'
For her its all about glow'' , 'glitter and lemo drizzle.'
She uses her mind for passion !

Have you got the glow ?

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It's good to glow

D🎵Every single day, is a threat, to life- (Official Lyric Video from Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

'Every single day, is a threat, to life' is song about the daily events that we read about and watch on the news. Almost every day there is some desperate story at international, national and even local level.Imgine a world where all get along ...

It seems history is continually repeating itself, as we make the same mistakes again and over and over again.

With nuclear proliferication it seems we get every closer to a 'you know what !

Do you watch the news every day ?

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Every single day, is a threat, to life

🎵 Can I catch some air -(Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 🎶✨

'Can I catch some air' is Brady Kent's latest release.Its about a a man ( who thinks he's a Greek God ! ) being given an umitmatum by his gamorous girlfriend, who he met a year ago.

He proclaims 'he is single and happy, whereas married guys are not '. Her 'sudden candour' has taken him by surpise. It's put up or shut up time !

He loves her 'sophisticated glamour and her French Belle look'.
.
Have you ever been given an ultimatum ?

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Can I catch some air

✨I gotta stop asking questions -(Official Lyric Vido by Brady Kent) ✨ 

'I gotta stop asking questions' is a new blues song release from Brady Kent

This a song about a man who has made a mess of everything ! He is now single, in debt, living in one room' He is 'facing impending doom'.He doesn't 'even know his own mind'. He asks 'for the love of God, why didnt I stay with my beautiful wife'.

However , he is now in a period of reflection, singing, 'I gotta stop, asking questions.I’m still warm on the inside.I think, I can see my reflection.Lessons gotta be learned. You decide' 

With deep, emotional lyrics and a haunting blues melody, this song reflects on the price of living a lie and the emptiness left behind when it all crumbles.

💬 Have you ever made a complete mess of something ?

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I gotta stop asking questions

🎵That's the plain truth - (Official Lyric Video by Brady Kent) 😢💔🎶 

🎶✨ "That's the plain truth’, is about  a man who knows he has messed up everyhting, and i mean eveerything.

He thought he was Mr Big and spent most of his life fantasising, only to hit rock bootom. Looks like his wife anf his son have gone and all the money.

All he has left is his songs, and he knows he is only as good as the last one.

Have you ever hit rock bottom ? 

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That’s the plain truth

The name word Millau ( pronounced Mee-yo)is the name of a town in the Occitanie (ock see ta nee) region of France. It comes from the name Armelius, the Roman owner of land in the valley. It's located near the high speed A75 motorway which connects Paris (6 hours north) and  Montpellier ( one hour south).The Mee-yo viaduct ( or bridge) spans the Tarn River , connecting two plateaus. Before the bridge was built the traffic had to pass through the town, causing major traffic jams. The bridge was conceived in 1987 and a design agreed in 1996 via a design competition. It took 3 years to build and was opened in 2004.It is 2460 meters long and 343 meters high ( taller than the Eiffel Tower) and weighs 290,000 tones.. The deck is 270 meters high. It cost E400m and was designed and built by Sir Norman Foster and Michel Virlogeux (mee shell veer loh zhuh) The current road toll one way is 12E Euros and it’s estimated it will take 30 years to pay for itself. The design has been celebrated across the world. Firstly, its slim graceful profile, the masts and cables and the way it was built from both sides and connected in the middle ( If I had been me in charge, it wouldn't have met !). In particular it is liked by he way it blends into nature ie  a gentle curve to improve the aesthetics and built to withstand powerful winds. When it opened the press went crazy, with comments like , ‘a Triumph of French Engineering’, ‘conquering nature’, ‘Taming the wild Tarn valley’, ‘A sculpture on the skyline’, 
‘Effortless and Floating’. Jacques Chira descried at as ‘A message of French greatness’.
Some criticize the bridge for being expensive to cross ( only for the rich) and the negative effect it’s had on the town, with shops closing. The traffic has also grown. It also occasionally closed die to high winds. The bridge is also a site for suicides. When built it had the tallest piers, deck and masts in the world. It was triumph !
My song is summarized by the chorus, ‘You made me cry. The world, was enchanted. Our prayers were answered A breathtaking, every changing view. A bridge, a sign of something new ‘. I visited the bridge this year with my brother and its is everything and more I expected. It’s truly breath taking. Trying to describe it, is a thankless task, My words are not worthy. The nearest I got in the song were two verses in the middle.
Firstly  ‘Beauty and mystery A masterpiece, created. The first, in the world. Contours, reinstated. Talking to nature. In the sky, integrated’ and then followed by ‘Shape of an inverted, wing Tapered columns and curves. Like, it’s always been there. It sure took nerves. To soar, to float. To carry, to serve’
I particularly like the line ,’ Like, it’s always been there’ When you see it, it does seem organic and natural and blends in with the valley, the contours, the mist, the sky ..in fact everything
Given the reaction from the worlds press, I do think it should only be described by poets and maybe song writers  ( there Ive said  said it ). In the song I use the words ,’ A bridge, for poets A celestial place. Daring and genius. A sublime creation. A bridge, admired. Angelic, and glorious .I’ve sent photos to many people and now they all want to visit. I should be working for the local Tourist Board, Ive sent them a copy of the song, so who knows !
In case you're in any doubt about how I feel about this piece of sculpture I repeat one of the verses at the end’  You made me cry. The world, was enchanted. A breathtaking, every changing view’. Put this on your bucket list – one of the things you must do before you die !



Pod 41  You made me cry

This is a story about the USA/Mexico border. A significant and complex place that is the subject of political debate. The border is 1954  miles long, versus say the UK which is 600 miles long ( so over three times longer). It separates four US states ( Arizona, New Mexico, California and Texas) from six Mexican states. It includes cities, beeches, mountains, desserts and of course the Rio Grande River, which forms a natural border for 1254 miles, or 64% of the birder. The area has been the subject of many conflicts and treaties over the years. Only 650 miles of the border have some kind of barrier. The Trump border wall is 458 miles long or 23% of the border. Trumps ‘Build the wall’ campaign started in 2016.This is a 30 ft high, steel bollard fence, topped with an anti climbing plate. The wall is see-through so security forces can monitor activity on the other side. 80% of the Trump investment was in replacing the existing wall, rather than building new sections which added up to 85 miles. The original goal was a 2000-mile wall , now targeted at 500 miles. It costs $25m per mile to build and has cost $25 billion so far. The total cost of all parts of the wall since the beginning is £30 billion , with costs continuing to rise. It cost $25 billion to maintain the current fence and wall and to ensure its secure. Those in favor of the wall say it improves national security, maintains law and order and is a form of economic protection. Those against, say its not effective ( people go around, climb over or tunnel underneath), and is far too costly. It also has an environmental impact, forces migrants to cross in riskier ways and places and it seizes private tribal land. In the last 50 years its estimated 50m people have been apprehended crossing , about 80% of the total who tried. For those willing to try multiple attempts, the success rate rises to 50%. Its thought 15,000 people have died crossing the border since 1988.The death rate is growing annually, as it gets more difficult to cross.

This is song about a man and his son who are attempting to cross the Mexico /USA border. I struggled with this song , so I’m not sure it's one of my best. I was trying to humanise the whole experience by portraying the issues through the eyes of a traveller. I died not feel I knew enough about the struggles of a South American immigrant  to represent them, so for some reason I turned it into a country song. I’m not sure it works very well, but you be the judge of that. That’s what happens sometimes with song writing !
The song starts, ‘Grabbed each other, the weakest went under. Wall don’t work at the frontier. At thirty-four, walked across to the USA. Drinking bad, just trying to get away. Nothing left, I want a new life, someone who cares’ So we are now clear, this is a desperate move to try and secure a better life, but he also thinks ‘the wall doesn’t work ‘ ! In 2023 2.5m people tried to cross the border. In Trumps first 8 months the number has dropped to 9,000 people, so he could argue the wall does work ( I think I wrote the song before Trump was elected !). In the song we then  learn that the man got caught and what life is like in a migrant shelter, ‘Attacked three times, in a migrant shelter. Man, some guy lost his temper. Those who have suffered, share their stories, they dont want to be here anymore.’ He has his poor sone with him ,’ Fleeing guns with a son aged six. Tried to cross the border but Goddam politics. So, he is clearly desperate for a new life. But there is worse to come, ‘Seven months, spent in a holding cell. Back to El Salvador and a living hell.’
He repeats his claim that the wall won't stop desperate people trying to find a new life. ‘Patrols, those folks ain ’t legal. The god dam wall won’t stop the people’ I suppose the reality is that the various Trump measures have worked. I guess all they can do is ‘Grab each other’  when they find themselves swimming in the Rio Grande River, trying to get into the USA.



Pod 42 Grabbed each other

There are 193 countries in the world with only 15 run by women. Of the 193, about 65 are under authoritarian rule .Of these, only three are run by woman ( Serbia, Bangladesh, and Tajikistan).Women constitute 40% of the global workforce. About 23% of Board Directors seats are filled by women. Only 6% of the global prison population are women. Only 15% of all detected crimes are committed by women and only 10% of serious crimes.
Sri Lanka was the first to elect a woman leader in 1960, followed by Israel in 1969 (Golda Meir) and of course Maggie Thatcher in 1966. There have been 300 armed conflicts since 1945 with women as head of state in only 20 or say 6% of them .In the Uk life expectancy for men is 79 and 83 of women.
Woman leaders are rated higher when it comes to team collaboration, mentorship and detailed planning. Men are perceived as delegating and bigger risk takers. Women are better at multi taking and verbal memory, versus men who are better at spatial organization tasks ( the relationship between objects and spaces ).74% of all psychologists are women and 74% of HR Managers are women.
Maragret Thatcher was the fist women Prime Minister in the UK and the longest serving in the 20th century (1979-1900). Love or hate her ,she transformed the UK into a free-market economy and played a key role in ending the Cold War with Ronald Reegan. She was divisive, but made a profound impact. Angela Markel was Chancellor of Germany for 16  years ,steering the EU. She was a ‘global anchor of stability’. We should also highlight Jacinda Arden of New Zealand. as we all as Queen Victoria, Queen Elixabeth and Catherine the Great of Russia. Let's shout out loud, please for all women and women who lead in a time of need  !
I recently traveled on a four-hour train journey from Bordeaux to Beziers; It actually took nearly 7 hours. The train was delayed by 120 Bordeau Football supporters on their way to watch a local derby. Very large armed policemen boarded the train at Agen and kept everyone on the station platform for 2 hours, including the very noisy, inebriated supporters.
They eventually let the supporters back on the train after getting someone remotely in charge to sign the permission papers… on a Sunday. It was French be bureaucracy at its best. This song is me calling out for a woman to take charge and get the train moving. The song is called ‘Need a woman in charge’. The first verse goes like this,’ Where’s old Maggie when you need her. Not the woman, with a cat on her lap. Need a woman in charge, it’s clear. Stay on the train, mind the gap’. Most of the journey was like a carry-on film with very amusing characters emerging amongst the chaos. Its was probably my favourite train journey all time, As a writer I couldn’t make notes quick enough. I simply list the characters here, for you to then enjoy the song ( hopefully). The woman, with a cat on her lap.120 rowdy football fans ( most of them tiny and only 17 years of age as a guess),Twenty very big  heavily armed French Policeman. Two immaculately dressed gay men, up for a fight. A bunch of men in a circle discussing events. A trained dancer asking me ( yes me !) for career advice. A woman serving coffee who kept asking me if I was a film star ( what ?). I said I was actually James Biond A man snoring throughout and a man who kept taking his dog off the train for a wee. A women who would not move her legs from the isle, so everyone just jumped over them, Including the dog. Four very composed well dressed and beautiful French women , who just smiled and were perfectly delightful ( and gorgeous - can I say that ?). A Rapper Dude getting very annoyed and agitated, and a Tannoy announcer who was hyperactive to say the least. I could go on. Enjoy the song !



Pod 43  Need a woman in Charge

Respect for the office, the democratic process and the constitution is precious thing to hold on to. I’m also a big fan of good manners ( ‘manners maketh man’ )- ask my kids. When I see MP’s shouting and balling at each other in the House of Commons, I despair - they are running the bloody country !  What's wrong with a bit of common respect for each other. Of course, in place like Russia they is no opposition, no real debate, so the will of the people is lost. Trumps USA has become a fascinating place to people watch. To some extent far more interesting the  Biden or Obama eras. But and it’s a big but, at what price. Here are some examples of personal insults. To Trudeau, ‘very dishonest and weak, to Macron ‘low approval rating’, to Merkel, ‘German people are turning against the leadership’;,  to Royhani ( Iran),’consequences the likes of which few have ever suffered before’, To journalists,   ‘you're ugly, both inside and out’,’ Youri a  terrible person’, ‘you’re a quiet piggy’. 
These personal attacks are meant to deflect  questions, intimidate and undermine credibility. Others say he is being frank and holding the fake news accountable .Most people see it as inciting harassment and undermining the role of a free press in a democracy. Of course there is no free press in some countries. Trump also circumvents the democratic process, with its ‘checks and balances’. In the House of Representatives, the Republicans hold 220 seats to the Democrats 215. In the Senate, the republicans have 53 seats to the Democrats with 45.Trump employs tactics such as changing election rules, weaponizing  govt agencies to erode independence and transparency, targeting descent and critics and  centralizing funds to control them .This has led to law suits, legal challenges and legislative pushback. Executive orders are used as a tool to govern, to bypass congressional obstruction and fulfill campaign promises.
This is a song about standing up to some of the behaviors I have highlighted. In the USA it probably means your job is at risk ( and your livelihood). In Russia it means jail. In Feb. 2020, Mother Norma Pimental delivered a courageous and powerful sermon at the Saint John Paul Shrine in Washing to DC in front of a world-wide TV audience and the Trump delegation. She talked about the moral treatment of immigrants and refugees, challenging the trump policies, Donald was sitting only a few feet away. She asked, ‘the question will come to us-what did you do? Dis you welcome the stranger ?’It was tense and silent. Most thought she spoke the truth to power ( I love that phrase !). Beforehand she said to herself ‘is anyone going to say anything’ so she did – wow ! So, my song ‘Is anyone going to say anything’. is a tribute to Norma. My song starts ‘  Is anyone going to say anything. What happened to our, humanity. Ignored, due process violations' constitution, prosecution’s .Add them to the deportation list. Arrest police and judges who resist’ Then I  bring Norma I to the song ( my hero!), ‘‘A stunning moment, of sudden honesty .A deep breath, she demanded an apology. A plea for mercy, for everyone who’s scared .Why is our faith hidden, no longer declared. A warm and compassionate interaction. A scathing rebuke or a nasty sermon’ I love the phrase , ‘a moment of sudden honesty’. By the way it was Trump who said it was ‘ a nasty sermon’
The song also makes reference to Greg Locke , a Trump supporter and evangelical pastor from Tennessee. In the aftermath of the 2020 election, he spouted various conspiracy theories and what he saw as attacks on freedom via the Democrats. He accouraged his audience to stock up on guns. In my song I quote him, ‘I got a pardon baby, I’m gonna buy more guns by, mail order’ . I wonder if he has ever thought about respectable, well manned pollical debate – maybe he should sit in and listen at Westminster for a day or two ?


Pod 44  Anyone going to say anything

The Count of Monte Cristo, escapes, earns a fortune then destroys the lives of the people who betrayed him. You meet revenge in Hamlet, in Moby Dick and the film Carrie, as she enacts revenge on her cruel class mates. The Reign of Terror in the French revolution was all about revenge, as was the murder of Franz Ferdinand, which then triggered WW1.We come across it in in Kill Bill, The Gladiator, The Revenant and John Wick. Then of course there is Johnny Depp v  Amber Heard, songs from Talyor Swift about her ex-lovers and Donald Trump in his legal battles. Then there is the Jullian Assange Wiki leaks case, and numerous mass killings and murders. Revenge can be via meticulous planning or blind rage. It can be one act or a series of acts . There is also a blurred line between justice        ( liker Charles Bronson and Equalizer films) and a personal vendetta. 
The core motives for revenge are restoring justice and balance. That is is to ‘even the score’
or ‘ an eye for an eye’. It allows you to reclaim power and control, if you have been humiliated  or betrayed. It asserts identity and acts as a deterrent i.e. ’ this is what happens if you double cross me.’ Finally, there is a quest for emotional release i.e. getting even will bringing peace. Typically, these emotions are short lived, sometimes corrosive and replaced by negative vies e.g. guilt or shame or anxiety. It also chains you to the perpetrator for a long time.
Of course, revenge is not the only action you can take. You can declare your own part in the betrayal and walk away from it, to start again elsewhere and build a better life. It starts with self preservation before hopefully achieving some piece of mind. Revenge is an emotional debt that you pay the interest on every day. I like that I wish I had written that
This a revenge song. The man knows his wife has been unfaithful but he is in no mood to discuss it or even contemplate ‘’trying again’. He knows now that all he wants is revenge. He sings ,’ I just want revenge; I know that now. I just gotta work out, when and how. Not interested in me or the facts. She's trying to cover up her tracks’
He has previously made some attempt to reconcile but to no avail, He sings ‘’ Unavailable, cold and so distant. It's not right, not for a moment. I tried to ignite the spark with affection. Lucky if she even looks in my direction’
We then learn more about this doomed relationship, ‘Seen dates with guys on her phone
Blames it on me, on stress at home. I was sure, it’s what I knew deep down. Now home, after seeing a man in town’ So the cause of the problem seems to be stress at home and her new liaison. Well guess what, she is going to have more stress than she dreamed off when they go their separate ways. Sounds like he is relieved to bring everything out into the open when he sings, ‘Relieved not to have to sneak around. What I always suspected, beforehand. The heartbreak is wearing me out. Her betrayal, leaves me in no doubt’
On the other hand, she does not seem to feeling guilty at all and seems to have discussed it and even got approval from her family to call it a day. A verse in the song says  ‘But she’s not feeling guilty about me. What her family think, will be the key’ It turns out she also laughed at him when he attempted to remind her of happier times, i.e. ‘Gave her an old wedding photograph. I'm hurt; but does she need to laugh?’ His coping mechanism is to hit the bottle , He sings , ‘To fill the gap, may have turned to drink’. In the end he asks for a divorce in her birthday card ( thats novel), ‘I’ll ask for a divorce in her birthday card.A ten-year marriage lost, gonna be hard’. Is that the revenge he wanted or is there more ?

Pod 45 I just want revenge

What is the perfect husband ? , the title of my song we are unpicking ? Well let’s start with the perfect wife , shall we. Of course, what adds up to ‘perfect’ differs for all of us. It's probably better to think of what makes up a good relationship. The experts tell me ( PS I’m no expert !) it’s all down to mutual respect, trust and honesty, effective communication, kindness and empathy, shared vales and goals, independence, interdependence and a clear ‘sense of partnership’. Of course, these qualities should be reciprocal.
Traditionally the perfect wife would be a homemaker and a caretaker but all this has changed. Compatibility is probably the overall quality we are all looking for. Do you want an adventure or the quiet life ?. The red flags to avoid are an expectation of sacrifice, rigid rules and being held responsible for the other persons happiness. A supporting and loving husband ( i.e. Mr Perfect) has emotional integrity ( that is available and self aware ), has unwavering respect for his partner, and views everything as 50/50 or sharing the load, not just helping when he is asked. He is also trustworthy and reliable. He might even be a master communicator and a true team mate ( at this point I’m probably scoring 6 out of 10).In the past the perfect husband was solely a provider and a protector. In today's world it has all changed. Now he is expected to be a nurturer (children and the home) and being a ‘feminist ally’ ( crikey moses !-my score is now down to 4 out of 10).I suppose none of us are mind readers and don’t operate to an agreed check list. The objective I suppose is to find an imperfect partner ( as we all are ) and try and build a life together that suits both people. By the way the phrase crikey moses is a ‘minced oath’. It avoids the word Christ and god or taking the Lord's name in vain. Steve Irwin made it popular as the ‘Crocodile  Hunter.’ – food for thought !

The songs hero sets out his stall early and straight to the point. There is no messing about with this guy. He sings ‘You’re the best thing, thats happened. I'll try and be, the perfect husband’ He then alludes to the challenge of such an endeavour by singing , ‘Yes, we both have similar fears. Dont make me wait for five years. But our man is in a rush ( which might be a mistake) and sings, ‘ Everything, could disappear yesterday. Getting married to you is my destiny’. He is also honest about being a bit of a worrier singing, ‘Worrying, doesn’t get you anywhere. No one does it like me, I despair’. None the less he marches on with a key verse, where he is looking to seal the deal, ‘We shared an intimate dinner. I told you I love you, in a whisper’. Then he briefly refers to past mistakes and an Alica Keys song. He sings ,’
Forget what’s happened in our past. No more mistakes. This will last. Does anyone know the words to. The song, ‘If I Ain ’t Got you’ It’s time to share, in a better place. I’ve found love at last, after a chase'. Then he comes in with a lovely comment ‘I’ve learnt a lot and grown a lot
I couldn’t be happier in my heart’ and ‘ I’m ready to settle down, To leave my footprint, to putdown'. He's on his way now. I hope his partner is going along with him at this stage, she may be feeling a little overwhelmed ! In a moment of joy he sings ,’ Swap the fast lane for the bus lane. Both falling asleep at parties again. Change is coming fast, my wife. We need a plan, for now, for life’ . I like the bus lane analogy ! ( oh yes, I wrote that !)
Quietly he then brings up money or the lack of it be saying, ‘Get ready for a land of make believe To be poorer, but ready to achieve.’ mmmm doesn’t sound like he’s Mr Moneybags but does it matter ? Anyway, he goes back to Alicia’s ‘Does anyone know the words to. The song, ‘If I Ain ’t Got you’ (she also sings  ’or I don’t want nothing at all’).

What do you think – he is the perfect husband ?



Pod 46 The perfect husband

Freedom is strange concept in some ways. For example, I find it much easier to write a poem with a fixed rhyming structure, than the freedom of writing with none. Discipline actually free’s me to write. Its one of the most complex subjects in human history, invading politics, philosophy, law and everyday life. There is negative freedom, where there is an absence of constraint. Then there is positive freedom , which is where you can release your own potential. There’s also inner freedom which comes from self control. I guess my rhyming poems are a bit of the last two. In most societies freedoms are institutionalized i.e. civil liberties (freedom of speech), political rights ( right to vote) , economic freedom (right to own property) and social freedom ( no discrimination). With no holds barred, freedom can also be a source of friction. Freedom versus equality, freedom versus security, the individual versus others and finally freedom can self destruct. Unlimited free speech can for example destroy a democracy. There are rules about what you can and cannot say. There are many examples of historical battles fought to gain freedom such as the abolition of slavery, decolonization, women's rights, civil rights etc. The modern world sets new challenges in this area with regard to the internet, poverty restricting freedom and addiction and mental health limiting freedom. Karl Marx critiqued capitalist freedom as ‘illusory without economic freedom’. There has been some classic songs written about freedom. Such as Blowing in the Wind ( Bob Dylan) , Freedom ( George Michael), Biko ( Pete Gabriel), I can’t get no satisfaction ( Rolling Stones and I will survive ( Gloria Gaynor).Ther have also many anthems such as The Star-Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful and Born in the USA ( I've seen Bruce three times).In the poem Invictus, Willam Henley recites, ‘I am the captain of my fate. I am the captain of my soul’
My song ‘What if I am set free’, is really asking , ‘will I be better off when  I am free ?’ In the case of my non structured poems, the answer is no. The male singer raises the question in the first verse by singing, ‘What if I am set free, no more you, I'm just thinking of me'. This is an interesting take on events, or he is trying to make the most of it ? It turns out his partner has been unfaithful and wants to leave. She wants her freedom in order to get more. ‘She begged me to forgive her. Leaving after so many years. I was locked in a tug of war. She told me, she wants more’. He wants everyone to know how much it hurts , ‘Nothing ages you faster. Now with her new partner’. We all know how it hurts to lose someone. I like the line ; ‘nothing ages you further.’ Turning to the immediate future he devises a plan to get over her, ‘The sadness of losing a lover, I need a break up makeover. My dreams need some work. I gotta get up and fightback. It's a chance to turn the page. My tough guy image, is just rage’ I guess we all act tough from time to time , what else can you do ? He hasn’t met anyone yet ( its early days) so sings , ‘I’m not dating, it’s so tragic. But still a die-hard romantic’ He is probably being a bit hard on himself or even feeling sorry for himself. He probably needs to take a breath and give it time ! He is not in a good place currently, singing ,’ ‘Hopeful’, but no feelings, Emotions, leave me weeping’ - again its probably too much too soon with his new found freedom. To help he takes a cold shower every morning, so he feels alive and then slips up by sending a message to his ex, which is not a good idea, ‘Cold showers start my day. To feel the freeze, oh yea.If I panic, I send a message. Old love is still my hostage ‘. His solution is ‘I guess now we can all. Take steps, however small.’ This is what happens when you set fee !


Pod 47 What if I am set free

For those over 40 who are maybe divorced but are now wanting to start again, it’s a scary time. This song is about those people. Whilst everyone is different there are some common traits. It's described as the ‘gray divorce demographic’ ,which would put me off getting back on the horse ! Divorce or separation leads to loss and a loss of identity. Years of shared history disappear and the term husband or wife or couple. If you children have left home it compounds the empty best syndrome. You start to wonder who you are and where you are going, if anywhere. Suddenly you suffer fear about the future, anxiety and start worrying about financial security. There can be a sense of liberation and re discovery tinged with regret and reflection. Its time to re connect and try to avoid being lonely.
The idea of starting over again, finding a house, moving in with someone is sometimes just too much. It's why older people are often single. There are 34m people in the UK who are 40 and over, of which 19% are single and 6% that were previously married. Overall 17m are not in any king of partnership, that a lot !  By the age of 60 this rises to 49%, as more are widowed. Woman over 40 probably face the biggest challenges, especially if they have sacrificed careers for family. But they have stronger support networks, despite worrying more about the ageing process. Men cope by overworking or avoidance tactics. Over time most people become resilient, accept their situation and then begin to value things like peace and quiet. The ‘revenge or re entry body’ for men is the latest trend. It offsets what's known as ‘marriage protection’. A fitness boost helps with self esteem, albeit it may not help their mental health. There are 7500 gyms in the UK with 10.7m gym members ( 16% of the population), with slightly more men than woman. 1m single women over the age of 40 have active gym membership. About 60,000 women every year, meet a  man in the gym 
This is a song about divorced women, of a certain age , who are trying to start again. They are suffering from seeing the gym as a ‘sacred space’ and a place for ‘me time’ and trying to avoid unwanted attention and feeling self conscious. It’s the gym or dating apps, they both seem a bit scary. The song starts , ‘Guys in shape and high octane. Newly single, hitting the fast lane. Defying time. Are you out their baby? Maybe it’s time to be born again.’ So, guys in shape seems a good starring point but will they be interested in me – is the cry ! Also, the lady has concerns about her emotion state and the fact splits seems to effect men less, reportedly. She sings ‘‘Unattached and broken after he left. We both know, splits hit men less. Say's he didn’t love you anymore. Misunderstood, your down and raw.’  Raw is probably the key word here. The answer apparently is to go into ‘swing out sister’ . This is a ‘let loose’ term from the 1945 musical and adopted by Corinne Drewery and her band in 1985, you might remember their hit ‘Breakout’. Anyway, I digress, ladies have got to get on with it, ‘Gloves are off. Go back to the clubs. Stepping up, from your big breakup. Swing out sister, need to get stronger. Gotta live longer. Don’t be a quitter.’ Of course, the delicate subject of sex comes into the equation , after so long with one partner. The song covers this by saying ,
‘Stop the no sex cycle in its tracks, you’ve got the drive, try to relax. Guys in shape and high octane. Newly single, hitting the fast lane’ So relax and go with the flow is the message, but I guess easier to say than do. Goven the most of the guys are in shape, it also plays on your mind that you might not me ! So, she sings, ‘What does normal look like? Don't check the mirror, go on strike’. In  other words, just be your self and don’t worry about it. 

Pod 48  Fast Lane

Surprisingly 60% of all marriages in the UK last 20 years ( I would have thought it was much less). The average is about 13 years.  As people get older death becomes the primary reason for a marriage ending, rather than divorce.45% of all marriages last 30 years and 25% last 40 years +. In the last group typically, the couple must have met in their 20’s and then both survive in their 60’s and 70’s. Of course, the stats relate to their legal position rather than if they are still happy being married ! That’s called ‘ an empty shell marriage’
If a wife dies after a long and happy marriage it is a traumatic event for the husband ( or visa versa).It’s not one emotion, it’s a tsunami of grief. The depth of loss can touch every part of his being. Typically, he his feeling, profoundly sad and empty ( like an ache) ,shock and disbelief (with a feeling of numbness) loneliness and isolation and then panic and anxiety ( after losing his partner in crime). I know a few people who died shortly after their partner died, having seemingly lost the will to live. There is also a loss of purpose. For a man he may have been the husband and the provider but no longer. He may feel guilt (the ‘If only’ syndrome),anger (her leaving him before he could say goodbye) and a sense of injustice ( why them ?).There might also be a sense of relief if his wife had suffered from  a long illness, not the case with my song. All this usually leads to what the doctors call ‘brain fog', a consequence of suffering immense trauma. Then of course there are the children to consider, friends and the extended family. Many men throw themselves into work as a way of coping. He might also lose some of his social network now that his wife has gone. Getting over or better still learning to live with the grief is difficult. For two years the grief is acute, then there is 3 years of gradual acceptance, then a new normal after 5 years. When her death becomes part of their story, rather than the story.
My song ‘ Not time to tell her’ is about man who suddenly loses his wife after along and happy marriage. Hopefully it reflects some of the emotions described earlier.  The song start s, ’The end came quickly, no notice. Like an accident or her illness. No time to tell her I loved her. No last moments to share. No way, to reminisce, or care. I wasn’t ready for the shock. I was stunned; I couldn’t talk’. I suppose that sums up the shock of the whole event.
The song continues, ‘No longer a couple, that’s over. Died suddenly, after so many years. Please God, say she had nothing to fear’ and then there is more, ‘You never know when it happens. Now everyone has their questions. No last chance, to reassure her. To tell her how I feel. What my life has been. I hope she felt the same’. I suppose on the one hand friends and family want to ask questions to show they care, but on the other hand don’t know what to say and might makes things worse. The sad and desperate chorus kicks in , ‘ Died suddenly, after so many years. Please God, say she had nothing to fear’ He is such a caring man that even now he worries about her last moments and if she was scared. He then feels guilt, ‘I just need to say sorry. I hope she thinks it’s OK. The sadness lives with me, every day’. The comes a period of reflection when he reveals he could have done better when she as was still alive. He sings, ‘When was the last time, I said I love her. Why did I let this happen. Why wasn’t it more often. As if our time, was frozen’- I suppose not telling he loved her for some time, must be hard to accept. He goes on ‘I took her for granted. Left her alone and stranded. I know what she meant to me. If I had the chance, she’d see’ He wants to find a way to say sorry singing, ‘Could I say sorry with a kiss. Hold her again, make one last wish’ 


Pod 49  No time to tell her

The effect of divorce on children can be profound, causing them emotional distress, a conflict of loyalties, regressive behaviors, academic and social issues, anger and rebellion. I in 4 children in the UK live in separated families, that 4m children or 30% of the total.
The long-term effects on children when they become adults is mixed. Some thrive. The outcome is down to how their parents handled the divorce, and if there was on going conflict between the two partners. Eg when the child is a pawn or a messenger or even a spy !Kids need consistency, love and stability. They must also be encouraged to maintain a strong relationship with both parents.Mimimising change is the key, like keeping the same schools, home and social network etc. Open communication should seek to re assure the children that the divorce was not their fault .Finally they most have access to all their family and their friends for support at any time. Generally, its thought that a good divorce is better than a bad marriage , but I have my doubts about that. Yes, if its in an environment of chronic hostility and abuse. Parental behaviors is the biggest factor, both during the divorce and afterwards. The children need to be the priority, full stop. The children need to be the number I priority, there I've said it again. A healthy relationship between the two ex partners can buffer their grown-up kids against further harm. Holidays and in particular Christmas can be very difficult for example when there are two or in some cases 4 families involved ( i.e. both kids are from divorced parents, and they have both remarried).It also means potentially 4 houses to visit and lots of step fathers, step grandads, step grannies and so on. It’s a minefield. Where you spend Christmas, with who and in what order of rotation is fraught with difficulties. Parents should spare the kids any conflict.eg unequal treatment, lost traditions, logistical stress, financial tension and so on.
This is my song ‘Just Relax’. Its about gown up children ( like mine ) who are from divorced parents. Apologies for the long introduction but I need to get the point across early in  the song, without any hesitation. It starts ,’It’s Christmas baby, a time to share. A time, to bring down the temperature’. The key phrase for me ( not sure where I got it from) is ‘bring down the temperature.’ Thats what everyone involved should focus on in my view. The song then adds a bit of detail,’ Should Santa Claus come to both of us, We’re not together, living at one address’. So, humour at last. The point is let's not over complicate things. Keep it simple and low key. The song goes on ,’ Years later. We don’t want the stress, of crazy, new family chess. Need to put the past behind us, to all be grown up too.’ I like the phrase ‘crazy chess’, i.e. everyone is trying to predict the next move. Don’t do this, just go with the flow. 
Then the children come up in the song, ‘Our kids have a lot to think about, don’t want see us falling out. Families, and Christmas comes in many sizes and guises. Can't assume they’re with you. Dont matter, just stay cool’. So, its back to the stay cool message of in the case of my song title ‘ Just relax’ . The song talks about potential  logistical problems by commenting , ‘Hard to plan around separation, have that difficult conversation. Parent guilt is tough. I’s not your turn, I know it’s rough.’ The phrase it's not you turn is one worth remembering. The kids are not operating to a rota ! We then get a bit more specific, ‘If the kids can come, then the kids can come” Its Christmas baby, a time to share.’ Thats right if they want to come, let them come, stuff the rota system ! Finally, ‘When the kids can’t make it, they’re not trying to hurt. Make room for new partners. They turn the past into calmness.’  Next ,’Do what makes you happy and enjoy it. You’ve earned it! Its Christmas baby, a time to share. A time, to bring down that temperature.’ A time to JUST RELAX !


Pod 50 Just relax

Brady Kent is a  Song Lyricist 
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