Au revoir les rêves

J'ai soif de vie, pressé par le temps qui s'écoule. Les heures défilent et mes rêves s'envolent.

Je poursuis le bonheur avec le cœur brisé et les jambes en feu. Je cours après la vie, après les rêves. Je cours avant qu'il ne soit trop tard. Je m'épuise à vivre quitte à en crever, je veux m'auto-détruire, courir jusqu'à la mort.
Mais chaque seconde est un jour de plus qui passe. Les passions s'enchaînent, s'entremêlent puis disparaissent car rien ne comble le vide.

Donnez moi une raison d'y croire. Donnez moi une raison de tenir bon. Les heures défilent, mes rêves s'envolent. Les belles fins n'existent pas, il y a toujours un lendemain.

Un jour de plus

Né du désastre, l'insensé devenu banal, ici on vit avec le chaos et les déceptions pour habitude. 
Dans toute cette folie, je vivrai sur le fil comme tous ces enfants du désastre que nous sommes.
Il n'y a plus rien a offrir à part la rage.
Mon corps est brisé, usé, ruiné, brûlé.

Enfants du désastre

Dear mother, there is so much to say.
i could smile, fake a laugh, like always.
but that's the way it's been for too long.
how did we end up like this ?
how could you not see that I was hurt ?
i wish you'd protect me
not push me away and bury me.
why did you do this to me ?
And every night I stare at the ceiling thinking what a horrible son I am. I know how much it hurts you but I don't even regret it. There's not enough room in my heart for this.
And I don't know how to talk to you anymore, how to tell you everything I'm holding inside. The more I search, the more I'm afraid. Afraid of the violence of my thoughts, of the dagger in your heart that would be my words. Maybe nothing will ever be the same after this. And yet, nothing could be more sincere.

mother

wallowing in misery
afraid to get closer
i let myself sink for years
wishing to be forgotten
but you never left.
you saved me.
i'll try to be worthy
of the time you have spend
convincing me that i
can believe in myself.

you never left

your words are
insects that
crawl into
my flesh
draining me
until there's
nothing left.
i can hear
your voices
sinking into
my bones
for more.
did you know that mere words can kill ?

poison

on the verge of no return, exhausted,
i dream of a day without wars with myself.
longing for what used to be,
i'm suffocating in these walls i've built.
this room ain't home.
counting my wounds, counting my hours,
i wait for a moment to breath.
respire.

respire

smiling, silent, you were staring into the void.
lifeless eyes, lost in your mind.
memories were long gone.
the world was a paiting whose colors blended.
shards of the past were collapsing in your head.
familiar faces faded away.
you left us as an empty shell.

Geneviève

violence. that's the legacy you left me.
you taught me that well, in anger I plunged headfirst.
i can't stomach the pain of remembering your fucking face.
make me dig my own grave where I'll bury my self-esteem.
forget me and leave me alone in a room.
waiting, rotting, scared to death of you,
i'm telling myself again and again
"i'll never be enough. I'll never be enough in your eyes".
fading into your shadow, i embrace violence.
bury my self-esteem.

violence

This ep is an open letter to people i once knew or still know, most of whom are in my family. It tackles themes such as the violence of abusive stepfathers, a broken mother-son relationship, a family belittling a child...
It is also an open letter to my younger self. Words that i wasn't able to express or even understand, that i wish i would have said before it was too late. I recorded everything alone in my room, i'm aware this isn't top quality.
It is raw, simply written, but i hope you will enjoy this record as much as it was cathartic for me. I think that the most beautiful things come from the simplest words that come from the heart.

open letter

Post Hardcore / Screamo project from France.
Recorded and mixed alone

Braises noires